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Vita Frickin Valenteen · (02-12-2022)

PREVIOUSLY

*The following entries were leaked online without Vita's consent*

12/13/2021

I find my hunger growing stronger with each passing day. It used to be that I could go nearly a week without feeding, then days, now I find myself needing to feed nightly. I'm unsure if my succumbing to this unquenchable thirst more often is a part of my transition to vampire or if I am just becoming numb to the idea of feeding on people? It's not like I hurt anyone innocent! So far I've managed to only drink from bad guys, and it's not like I hurt them beyond a pint of blood and a little neck nibble!

Well, usually. I'll admit that things might have gotten a little out of hand tonight, but that guy was complete scum! It'll be a long while before he tries to rob anyone again!

12/14/2021

Okay, so I drank from a homeless man tonight. I couldn't find any criminals. Can you believe that? Frickin Canada! If I were in the states right now, this wouldn't be an issue! They have scum as far as the eye can see in pretty much every city and town! Oh well, what can I do? I need to feed, and he was definitely breaking the city ordinance by digging through that dumpster!

12/15/2021

I didn't feed tonight. Once again, I couldn't find any bad guys, and as a result, I nearly fed from an innocent! It was hard to pull myself away. I'm beginning to fear what I'm becoming, but I won't let this take control of me! I'm still a good frickin person!

12/18/2021

I fed on a stranger. No idea who he was, but I needed blood and had no choice! He's still alive. That's all that really matters, right?

No Timestamp

Thunder crackled as the whirling wind scattered the light rain from every direction. Lightning flashed, illuminating the sky for a brief moment. The camera drew back from the skyline revealing a pale white woman with long dark hair. Seemingly only now noticing the camera to her rear, her eyes break from their gaze onto the streets below as she slowly looks back to the camera.

Is that Vita?

Without any warning, she leaps off of the side of the building! Fortunately, our brave little camera drone operator does not hesitate to fly after her! We give chase as Vita leaps over traffic, runs across walls, and seemingly disappears into the shadows of a lonely back alley! Our drone hesitates at the entrance but eventually begins its slow descent into the darkness. While the camera has much trouble focusing with the lack of light, we do hear some very ominous slurping sounds.

Suddenly the drone engages its camera flash!
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Vita snarls at the drone, and it quickly proves to be the last thing that it will ever record!
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NOW

"Come on! Come on! It's gotta be here somewhere!"

The scene opens to a frantic Vita Valenteen shuffling through a mess of months and months of unread mail.

"There's no way they'd hold a hero convention and NOT invite The Pink Mist! It just HAS to be here!"

Vita continues to shuffle past envelope after envelope. As she nears the end of the pile, a look of defeat begins to wash over her, but then!

"OH MY GOD!"

Vita fans out a black envelope that reads "YOU ARE INVITED" in all gold lettering. Her face lights up like a Christmas tree! She pulls the envelope out of the stack as the excitement immediately melts off of her face.

VILLAIN-CON 2022!

"Excuse me! HELLO!"

A creepy-looking woman with a thick nest of spider's web for hair approaches the ticket booth as the creepy crawlers scurry around her head.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, there's been a mistake!"

Vita slams the invitation onto the counter.

"I'm not a villain!"

The weird spider-haired woman clickity-clacks away on her keyboard.

"Ashley Johnson, AKA Vita Valenteen, AKA The Pink Mist, AKA Vicious Vampire. Nope, no mistake. It seems that your hero classification was revoked back in December and you were accepted into the International League of Villains around the same time."

Vita has no idea what's at foot here.

"Revoked by who!?"

"Do I look like I would know why any of the heroes do what they do?"

Vita sighs annoyed.

"NO! ...I guess not."

Frustrated, Vita kicks dirt.

"You know..." Spider lady chimes in. "If it's answers you're after, you could always seek an audience with The FatCat of Crime. He is well connected, even in the world of heroes."

With a spark in her eye from the newfound hope of getting to the bottom of this mixup, Vita excitedly asks; "Okay, so is he inside, or?"

The spider lady cackles at the absurd question.

"Of course not, no! The FatCat would never allow himself to be viewed publicly with such company!"

"Then how would I go about finding him?"

Spiderhair lady presses the intercom button on her desk phone.

"Sir, Vita Valenteen would like a word."

It takes barely a moment before a response comes back.

"Very well, send her in."

The spider woman points towards a small metal platform to Vita's left.

"Please step onto the particle transport dispatcher."

Vita looks at the small metal platform cautiously.

"Is it safe?"

"Are the answers that you seek not worth the risk?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Then stop wasting The FatCat's time. If you seek an audience, that is the only way."

Reluctantly, Vita steps onto the platform. Spider lady punches in some code and the next thing she knows, Vita is whisked away to a far-off location! As she rematerializes in a lavish office, Vita is so distracted by the cool factor of the Star-Trekesque trip here that she doesn't even notice the VERY LARGE man standing across from her.

*AHEM* "I understand that you wish to ask me something?"

He has Vita's full attention now.

"O-M-G!"

Vita leaps into the air and it's almost as if she glides through the air, landing on FatCat's shoulders and frantically petting his head!

"YOU'RE SO FRICKEN CUTE!"

FatCat begins purring but also looks annoyed! He reaches up, trying his damndest to grab ahold of Vita, but she proves expert at avoiding his paws! Eventually, he manages to snag her with a claw and fling her across the room! FatCat takes a moment to collect himself and adjust his jacket as Vita looks back confused as to why the big kitty would throw her like that!

"Do that again and I promise you that I'll ensure that you never see the light of day!"

Vita cautiously rises to her feet as FatCat begins making a drink at the bar.

"Now, ask your question."

Vita waits as FatCat finishes making his drink and turns to her.

"Well?"

FatCat takes a sip of his drink as Vita works up the courage to finally ask.

"Okay, so, like, I know that you're a super bad dude, but the creepy woman with the spiders in her hair said that you had connections with heroes?"

"A fact that I'm not usually so loose-lipped with, especially with someone of such questionable loyalty, but yes, I do have my ways. What is it that you seek, girl?"

"I want to know why my hero classification was terminated and I want to know why I'm receiving invites to a fricking Villain-Con!"

FatCat finishes his drink and taps the empty glass on the bar.

"Silly girl, you do not need my connections to realize why that happened. It's as simple as your diet!"

Blood-drinking vampire. Duh, but!

"I only drink from bad people!"

"Do you really? Hmmm, does that make it better?"

Vita nods, but before she can speak up, FatCat continues on!

"Who judges the men that you feed upon? You? Or your hunger?"

The confidence from earlier is all but gone! Vita considers what he has said, and she wonders, is he right?

"The fact is, young lady, that you abandoned that notion long ago."

FatCat produces a remote from his vest pocket and hits play as clips of Vita feeding from various people can be seen playing.

"Drug addicts? Homeless people? Some would argue that these people need help overcoming their addictions and getting back on their feet, not a mutant sukkubus drinking them dry in some back ally in the middle of the night. The people in charge of your hero certification surely think so, but me? I think that you provide a great service to this world. A true hero, cleaning the streets one piece of trash at a time. That, my dear, is why you have found your affiliation now turned upside down because, in their eyes, you're nothing more than a monster!"

Tears fill Vita's eyes.

"No, I can't help it! I have to feed!"

"Of course you do, my dear, and who has the right to tell you otherwise!?"

FatCat agreeing somehow makes Vita question herself more.

"They're my peers, my role models!"

FatCat scoffs at the notion.

"Please, how can you look up to people that would so quickly abandon you!? Once you became a vampire, tell me, how many of these heroes have you so much as spoken with?"

Vita doesn't even need to think about it before firing off.

"The Blue Tango!"

"Who!?" FatCat asks with genuine curiosity.

Some Time Later

We catch back up with Vita as she's exiting the Villain-Con. She is wearing all sorts of cool Villain-Con swag that presumably was handed out for free inside. Dejected and lost, Vita takes a seat on the curb of the road. As our XWF drone hovers in for a tight shot.

"Die a hero, or live long enough to become the villain. Kinda don't have a choice when you unwittingly become a member of the walking undead. So... I guess I'm a bad guy now? Funny, I don't feel like a bad guy, but it's hard to really argue that my actions since developing this thirst have been anything short of despicable. I thought that I was on the right path drinking from criminals, but FatCat was right, who am I to pass judgment? Especially when that judgment is the deciding factor on whether or not I starve to death?"

"Plus, FatCat did make some other interesting arguments as well. For instance, what in the frick has happened to my career? Before I became so wrapped up in good and evil I had one goal, win frickin wrestling matches! Then BOB happened, and the group led by my former best friend made it their mission to end me and my career. They framed me for murder! I rotted away in jail for months before I was released! Noah called off the engagement, and you can NOT convince me that it had nothing to do with all of the negative press that was being hurled at me at the time thanks to BOB perpetrating a plan to convince the world that I was the woman under the mask of Miss Fury, or Ms. Direction, as she was known at the time."

"But now I'm the villain?"

Vita shakes her head disagreeing.

"No, I can't accept that! I've seen REAL villainy first hand! I've watched as men have shown complete disregard for the well-being of their fellow man in the pursuit of fame and fortune. I've watched good men and women turn to evil out of desperation time and again. I did it once myself. I know that is not the way, but at the same time..."

Suddenly Vita's promo time is interrupted by a young boy around the age of 12, maybe 13, he's wearing a No-Good-Bastards T-shirt.

"Vampy Vita!? Is that REALLY you!?"

Upon laying eyes on the boy, Vita quickly puts on a warm, yet fake smile.

"Hi there, and who are you!?"

"My name's Ryan, and I'm a huge fan of yours!"

"Really?" She says unconvinced as she points to his shirt. "Looks like you're a fan of the other guys to me."

The boy looks genuinely confused.

"I thought you and The Bastards were a team or something?"

Vita smirks as she shakes her head "no".

"Do I really look like a bastard to you?"

"Well, no, but you did help them and Ozzy attack Chris Page and Miss Fury. I just assumed that you guys were good. So... You don't like The Bastards?"

"I... uh... I dunno, maybe? I used to really look up to Robbie back when I was your age, and TK and I have gotten along for the most part, but you've got to think, these guys were involved in a plot to end my career."

"Yeah, a plot that you foiled when you stole BOB from Miss Fury! Right!?"

"Uh... Sorta, yeah, I guess, but I didn't steal BOB from anyone."

"Oh yeah? If you're not running BOB, why are you here? Why aren't you a hero anymore?"

Suddenly, it's as if something comes over Vita, completely changing her demeanor.

"You wanna know why I'm not a hero!? It's because I drink little shits like you dry for asking stupid questions!"

Vita lunges at the kid, but only to scare him off. It works and the kid takes off running and screaming as Vita sits back down looking just as deflected as before.

"Or because some assholes hired a vampire to totally frick up my life as part of their sick games. BOB literally took everything from me. I was one of the fastest rising stars in the XWF, and one day it all came crashing down. Then, as soon as I think that I'm finally picking up the pieces of my shattered career, this vampire crap happens, and somehow, knocking Miss Fury's lights out WAS NOT a satisfying conclusion for all of the B-S that I've been put through! They took years off my career! They took my friends away from me! They took my family! And finally, they took my... Humanity..."

Vita sulks as she reflects, but those sad feels quickly begin to boil over into anger.

"I don't know why Thunder Knuckles asked for this match, but I can guarantee that he isn't going to be ready for the ass kicking he has coming his way. No offense TK, you've always been cool with me, except you haven't, right? Unless I'm feeding you coin on the regular, you're never anywhere to be found, and now you think that you're going to come out on Savage and what? Finish the job for the leader you stabbed in the back? Well, good luck with that! You can bring all three bastards down to that ring, and maybe I'll make myself 3 thralls to carry my bags?"

"There she is dad!"

Vita looks to the sound of the boy's voice to see the kid from earlier, now accompanied by a very large and menacing-looking man.

"Hey, you! You think you can threaten my boy!?"

Something seems to come over Vita again and she stands to her feet as the man stomps in with ill intent. He reaches for her, but before he can grab her, Vita catches him by the neck and lifts him off of the ground. Staring deep into this man's fearful eyes as his boy shits his pants in the background, Vita decides this man is no threat to her and throws him back to his boy, where he tumbles and rolls to his feet.

"C'mon boy, let's get the fuck outta here!"

Vita looks back to the camera.

"Thunder Knuckles I appreciate you making that call when you decided to finish off Miss Fury, but I don't know what your game is here. I don't know why you requested this match, but I do know that I'm not fricking paying you to take a fall, and I'm TOTALLY not losing either, so I'm thinking that you just signed up for more of a fight than you may have intended.

Vita rips the Villain-Con shirt off and tosses it to the ground.

"A real villain would have TOTALLY killed that guy by the way!"

Vita walks off camera.

Only to return and pick up the discarded shirt.

"And heroes don't litter!"

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