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JimCaedus · (11-05-2021)

Freddy Fabulous, wearing a glittering smoking jacket covered in multicolored sequins, is pounding on the dressing room door of Olaf the Giant. His crew, the massive duo of Big Preesh and BMI and the rugged leather daddies The Disintigrators are standing nearby.

"Olaf? Olaf! It's Freddy! I know you must have gotten my messages by now, Olaf! It's time to ditch that hack RJ Magnus and get with a real businessman! You need someone with familiarity with big men, and I have the BIGGEST men!"

Suddenly, "Dangerous" Dave Mustang looks up from the game of dice he and his partner Johnny "Twisted" Steele are playing cross legged on the floor, and he sees around the corner into the X-Treme Hallway, where Jim Caedus is roughing up a cigarette machine because it took his money.

What? Yeah, the XWF has cigarette machines like they had in bowling alleys back in the 70s and 80s, so what? Nothing goes better after a big match than a glass of whisky and a long drag on a Parliament. Anyway...

"WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL, hey Fred! Take a look-see right over here! We got us the BONA-fide X-Treme Champion with his eyes off the ball! I'm gonna go get me some hardware!"

Dave stands, but Johnny grabs him by the shoulder.

"HECK NO, JACK! I SEEN HIM FIRST, PLUS YOU JUST ROLLED SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYES!!!"

While Dave and Johnny continue to bicker, Big Preesh has already clobbered Caedus by breaking a potted plant over the back of his head. BMI clmaly tells his boss:

"Fred. Think about it. We can use the X-Treme Championship as a way to lure the Giant out of his hiding place. Make him want to step into the trap. Snare him like a mongoose does to the cobra. He either joins us, and becomes the X Champion quicker than a hiccup... or he falls by our hand, felled like a great Redwood tree by the ax of the world's greatest group of lumbermen... the Fabulous Five."

"That's creepy, BMI, and I wish you'd blink more often, but I like the way you think. OLAF! OLAF WE'VE GOT THE X-TRMEE TITLE RIGHT HERE FOR YOU! JOIN ME AND IT'S YOURS!"

BMI nods with a grin.

"And don't you worry about Magnus. He won't ever be heard fro again if he steps out of that room."

"Again, REALLY creepy. PREESH! GET OFF OF JIM! That's for Olaf!"

Freddy Fabulous runs over to where Caedus is laying on his back covered in potting soil and Ficus bits. Freddy shoos Preesh away and puts a boot on Jim's chest as a placeholder for Olaf.

"All yours, big man! Come get your prize!"

1!

2!!

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olafthegiant · (11-05-2021)

Amidst the attack on the Xtreme Champion, RJ Magnus pokes his head out from behind the door and sees the beat down in progress. Making eye-contact with Freddy, Magnus looks behind him in the room then back out.

"Hey! Move along you guys! Olaf isn't here.."

"Who is it?"

A deep voice bellows from behind Magnus.

"No one! Go back to sleep!!"

Magnus quickly shuts the door.

JimCaedus · (11-09-2021)

EARLIER THIS MORNING IN LONG BEACH, CA...

Jimmy just stands there, staring, his visage contorted in a frown. Unblinking. Mouth slightly open, upper lip raised in a faint snarl. He seems unable to tear his gaze away-

-from the furry, small, still form lying on his front lawn inches away from curbside and the street.

Lil' Guy. Black and white kitten of 5 months (approximately) had apparently been pulverized by a lowered vehicle. His body broken and bounced from some speeding cocksucker's car. He'd adopted Jimmy and Arcana and been an oft seen and fed "backyard buddy".

Few people may remember- as it was established early on in Jim's first stint in the XWF -but ol' Caedus is an animal lover. Beat a close friend's ass for setting off a firecracker up a cat's anus. Decimated a pack of poachers alongside Drew and Main in Africa. The list goes on...

But this...this right here was shitty; no clear guilty party to go apeshit on. There were three neighbors with lowered vehicles on his street alone and no telling how many others on the island, not to mention any randomly passing through who don't live there.

No way to tell.

No one to blame.

Shit happens.

It's life.

Didn't make him any happier to cogitate on the issue though.

He slowly walks up to Lil' Guy, removes his black T shirt, bends down and uses it to pluck his limp broken body gently from the grass, holding him to his bare chest.

Still warm.

That's so fucked up.

I'm sorry, boy.

If I find out who did it, I'll total their car.

---An hour later, after burying Lil' Guy and having been POOFED by Arcana to XWF Mobile HQ---

Still unable to shake his desire for vengeance and frustrated as fuck, Jim entertains the idea of purchasing a pack of Camel Blue 99s from the nostalgically wicked awesome 80s Bowling Alley Ciggy Vending machine sitting right outside the 80s/90s Arcade room in the 24/7 Halls (it's dope, you guys gotta check it out, they have EVERYTHING in there, even the huge Afterburner coin-op you sit IN and it tilts and rolls and shit, 'member??).

Jim flattens a crumbled twenty dollar bill- expecting no change bc XWF Mobile HQ grit prices are worse than New York's -and inserts it into the paper bill feed. It accepts it. Good, we don't need an angrier Jim Caedus.

He presses the button for his selection.

The little coil thingy holding each pack in the row rolls back and stops just short of clearing what Jim clearly just paid for.

Aw shit...

Fuming. You.

Mother.

Fucker.

::SHATTER::

Jim drops as some prick hits him over the head with his favorite potted Ficus.

Two pets in one day.

As some sorta chaotic shit happens during his siesta, Jim dreams of kittens and ficuses frolicking at Rainbow Bridge, kittens that used to be alive and happy until cars killed 'em or Big Preesh ate 'em. Ficuses named Baby Groot that'll never dance again when we ain't lookin'.

This enrages Jim. In his dream. Rage transcends unconsciousness.

KICK OUT!!

Fab Fred glances down at Jim's face as he stumbles backward-

[Image: 08HbrHt.gif]

-and gulps hard as Jim's eyes open.

Jim rises to his feet. This is gonna sound insane...and it IS, let's be honest...but I need someone to blame so I'm blamin' YOU Freddy...

Arcana baby? Jim spits as the Disintegraters, BMI and Preesh gather around the Fabulous One who offers an honestly perplexed look in response to Jim's words.

Gonzalez?

Gonzalez. The cringe 'Mania 9 version where someone stole his furry speedo and he had to wrestle 'Taker "naked".

POOF

[Image: Ab09UoM.gif]

The seven foot Jim Caedzalez produces two Steve Borden Crow-Sting black aluminum bats from ~~God~~ Doc knows where and starts smacking them together, leveling a dangerous glare at Mustang and Steele who take the forefront of the pack as he advances threateningly, his golden nugget on a chain (which grants him the strength of two Caedae, however NOW two _Caedzalae_) beginning to glow.

...woo.

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