"Hello!

Vinnie HATES it when I do this."


Roxy leans over in a tiny little apron, opens an oven, and pulls out a tray of freshly baked cookies.


"No, no, not that part. He likes that part. Like a lot. I meant this."


Roxy then turns and smashes the steaming tray right into Alias' face. The cookies fly off everywhere and Alias falls down screaming and grabbing at his sizzling face.

Roxy tosses off her oven mitts and straddles Alias, one thigh on either side of his head.


"Sh, sh, shhhh, bb... that should make it feel better..."




1!



2!!

How misleading!

Alias writhes and kicks out, sending Roxy flying. Chlamydia scatters everywhere!

"What the hell?!" he shouts as he scrambles to his feet.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the jungle or something right now? Or has that not happened yet? Wait... am I in the jungle too?" He looks around as he rubs at his face, fortunately revealing no lasting burn marks. He's had quite enough of that!

"How does any of this even work? It's like the laws of physics don't even apply!" he bemoans as he turns to the door. "Now, lemme go ride a space tiger through a rainbow nebula while astral projections of my enemies and friends dance a naked waltz around me and shoot laser beams from their buttholes."

On his way out he spies one lone cookie in the doorway, potentially far enough away that none of Roxy's viral host would have landed on its he shrugs, picks it up, and eats it off the floor.