XWF Universal Access || Metro Toronto Convention Centre – Toronto, Ontario || 11:48 AM
From time to time- and for me, not nearly enough- the XWF sends us out on these little meet and greets in order to allow our fans to get up close and personal with the stars of the Xtreme Wrestling Federation. Many do them begrudgingly. I do them willingly and sort of wish we did them more often. To me, without the fans, without their support, I’m just some dude that has wrestling matches. I feed off their energy, I feed off their reaction when I do something crazy like a shooting star off the X-Tron, or jumping over the top of a ladder to deliver a hurricanrana from twelve feet in the air to the mat below. It’s an adrenaline rush unmatched by anything, except maybe flying fighter jets. Maybe.
Outside the arenas all over the world, I get to spend some time with the fans before I head inside, but to me, it’s never enough. Never long enough. I always have work to do and I don’t have the time that I wish I had in order to meet everyone that wants to meet me, to sign all the things they want me to sign or to take all the pics they want me to take.
These are different. I can stay as long as I choose, meet as many fans as I choose, sign as much as I want, take all the pics I want. Some of the guys and girls charge for their time, their signatures, their images; that’s not me. I don’t charge anything. They spend enough of their money to see us perform in the ring, or to watch the pay per view’s from home. I neither need nor want their money just to come have a chat or get an autograph.
Entering the building from the talent entrance, I’m disappointed by the fact none of the fans were allowed anywhere near that entrance. Once inside, I’m pleasantly surprised by the amount of fans already inside and pull out my Airbuds as I scan the numerous tables set up in a kind of U formation. It doesn’t take long for a large number of fans to realize I’m here and mob me. To be respected by them for what you do for them, to be loved by them, for them to get excited to see you, to talk with you, to meet you… is just gratifying on levels I can’t really put into words. As much as they think they love me, they have no idea how much I love them right back.
Off to my left, I can see my uncle giving a Q&A session to some media types. A sort of relaxed press conference. He sits in a chair with a mic in hand and I worm my way behind him, then throw my arms around him as the media takes eleventy million pictures. Surprisingly, he returns the gesture. Theo and I haven’t ever been close. My doing? His doing? Probably a little of both. That just is what it is. To be honest, the business we’re in and his position among the XWF hierarchy, maybe its actually best for business that we’re not that close.
It’s hard to be ‘favored’ when you barely even have a personal relationship.
After releasing Theo from my master abilities as a hugger, I begin to walk off his stage and head back toward the fans.
”Don’t let him bullshit you guys, he loves his nephew,” I say before throwing up a peace sign. He does. In his way.
Back among my peoples, after some smiles, high fives and a little chit chat with some of the kids, I snake my way through the crowds in order to get behind the tables. Passing by numerous talents, I stop by Corey and he doesn’t even realize I’m behind him as I photobomb a selfie he’s taking with a fan. Corey peeps the pic and turns to see me behind him.
”How did you do that?” he asks of me.
”I’m pretty good at sneaking around. Peep my Collector promos,” I reply with a smile. ”Dolly settling in?”
”She runs a tight ship,” he replies, returning the smile.
Corey turns to greet another fan and I take his distraction and use it to plant a kiss on the side of his head.
”NOT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!” he jokes as he signs an autograph.
”Find me later?”
”Yep.”
With a smack of his shoulder, I continue on down the line.
”Nedward!” I call out to the Hart Champion Ned Kaye sitting a few seats down from Corey.
”Thadwick!” Ned says as he reaches his hand up and we exchange a high five as I walk by him.
”Good call on that hour glass at Warfare by the way,” I say to him, referring to the segment with Chris Chaos.
Ned laughs a little.
”Nice follow up line,” Ned says with a smile.
”Well, I wasn’t wrong. See ya later on bro.”
Rounding the corner toward the back end of the tables I run into Barney Green. His line is dozens deep. The man is a beloved soul among the fans of the XWF. The roster loves him too. It’s a shame I’ll have to beat the shit out of him on Savage, but he did ask me for the match.
”Barnesto!” I call out to him as he’s signing an old school ‘All-Night Tranny Thrilla’ XWF magazine cover.
”Hey Champ,” he says as he finishes up with a fan. ”I wanted to thank you again for the match. I’m gonna go all out for you.”
”Barney my man, you’re an instant classic. We’ll show the Universe a good time,” I say as I pat him on the chest and continue on my way. A few more seats down I can see Thunder Knuckles in a heated discussion with what I can only assume is likely an eight year old kid.
”Those are U.S. dollars dickhead, I have those,” TK says to the kid. ”Give me xbux or no autograph!”
”What up TK? Having issues?” I ask him as the kid walks away empty handed.
”Sup Duke?” he greets me as another kid comes up to him. ”Stupid kids keep tryin’ to give me cash. Not xbux.”
”Don’t you have enough?” I ask before I realize how dumb a question that is.
”No dumbass, I haven’t made a single xbuck off any of these little shitheads.”
”It’s a travesty,” I reply to him sarcastically.
”Ten xbux or nothing!” he says as he turns his head toward the next kid in his line. ”Did you hashtag JoinBOB yet?” TK asks, returning his attention to me, causing me to laugh a little.
”Nah,” I reply with a shake of my head.
”Fuck you then dumbass.”
Reaching passed TK, I grab one of his photos from the stack and his #JoinBOB sharpie marker and sign my name across his face before handing it to the kid.
”You signed my face, Duke,” he says with a perturbed look as he stands from his chair and an awkward stare down intensifies.
”Can you blame me though? You’ve seen it.”
”Good point asshole,” TK says as he returns to his seat and resumes arguing with children over their lack of xbux to give him.
Laughing a little as I continue on, I decide to once again put my Airbuds back in. Toward the very end of the tables sits Chris Page. Beside him, an empty chair. I’d put good money on Derrick having something to do with sitting us next to each other. Joke’s on him though, it’s a lot easier to hurl insults when we’re next to each other.
Unzipping my bag as I lay it down, I lift both title from inside as Chris notices I’m there. He immediately cuts off his conversation with a fan and stands up to face me, almost nose to nose with a sort of grin on his face. Me? I’m almost always smiling. This is no different. It’s hard not to be when you lead an amazing life and have the best friends, family and fans in the world.
”Chris,” I greet him, pulling out one of my Airbuds.
”Thad,” he greets me back, eyeing up the Airbud in my hand. He snatches it from me. ”What are you listening to?” he asks as he snatches the Airbud from my hand and places it in his own ear.
”Oh my God it’s country,” he remarks as he listens. ”You get gayer every day man.”
”Islands in the stream,” I begin to sing to him causing him to stifle his laughter. ”That is what we are. No one in between. How can we be wrong? Sail away with me,” I continue to sing as he rips the Airbud from his ear and hands it back to me.
”I thought you said you were good at singing,” he retorts as I look at over the fans watching this unfold.
”Am I?” I ask them. In response, I get a lot of cheers and applause.
”They’re just sucking up,” he says as I turn my head back to him. After laying the tag title on the table, I sling the Universal over my shoulder.
”This is kinda like a Vegas weigh in, you this close to me,” I surmise aloud.
”I’m bigger than you,” Chris points out, still smiling.
”Not everywhere,” I reply causing Chris to continue to stifle his laughter.
”It’s nice of the Universal Champion to finally join us here on this fine morning,” he remarks. ”The rest of us have been here for 45 minutes.”
”Fashionably late, my friend.”
”Fashionable? You’re wearing twenty dollar jeans and hoodie.”
”What am I supposed to do? Wear a 10,000 dollar suit now that I’m champion? I don’t even own a 1,000 dollar suit and Chris, just because I have this gold doesn’t mean I stop being me,” I say to him. He nods in response. ”And if you want to talk about fashion… dude 1996 called, they want their fanny pack back,” I joke.
Chris looks down at his fanny pack and back up to me, then laughs and holds out his hand. Accepting the gesture, neither of us willing to turn down an obvious photo-op, we both turn our heads toward the crowd of fans, many of them clamoring to get pictures.
Moments later, Chris and I take our seats and resume meeting with fans. I spy Chris’s next guest holding an unopened Chris Page action figure as I happily begin signing photos for those coming to see me. Watching from the corner of my eye as Chris signs the package, just as he goes to hand it back I snatch it from his hand.
”Lemme see that,” I say as I look over the figure. ”Dude it’s so life-like, that’s awesome,” I say to him as my smile grows a little wider.
I can see him roll his eyes before he mutters ”son of a bitch” under his breath. He knows me well enough to know its coming.
”It doesn’t have any belts either,” I say as I turn my head toward him.
”Fuck you Thad,” he says as I hand the figure back to him.
”What’s the matter man? Does it still sting?” I ask him, referring to the results of High Stakes. He just looks at me with a side eye. Taking my tag title, I place it in front of him. ”Would you like to hold it? For old times sake?”
Chris says nothing for the moment, he just glares at me as he tries not to laugh.
”C’mon that’s funny,” I say to him and he lets out a chuckle.
”Snow Job is comin’ man,” he says as he shakes his head and returns to signing crap.
”M-M-Mr. Duke?” says a young teenage fan as he approaches me and nervously extends his hand. Why do they get nervous sometimes?
”Call me Thad, what’s up?” I greet him as I shake his hand. ”What’s your name?”
”B-B-Bradley,” he answers shyly. I wonder to myself if his stutter is natural, or if its just his nerves.
”Bradley don’t be nervous,” I advise him as I try to take my hand away, but he keeps it. ”You okay?”
Bradley nods his head.
”I just wanted to thank you is all,” Bradley says, still keeping my hand.
”For what?” I ask as I just now noticed the crutch he’s leaning against and the cuff around his bicep.
”I was having h-h-health issues,” Bradley begins to explain. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Page lean in to listen as he continues on meeting his fans. ”I-I-I don’t have many friends, or a-a-any really,” he continues on nervously.
”Watching those promos y-y-you were doin’ with Corey Smith a-a-after his stroke and h-h-how you pushed him to get b-b-better,” he pauses as a tear rolls down his cheek. ”I’m sorry,” he says as he unhands me and wipes away his tear.
”Don’t be sorry Bradley,” I say in an attempt to alleviate his worry. Standing up, I move the table a bit to squeeze out in front.
”Could you hurry up!?” asks an annoyed girl fan a few paces back. ”You’re holding up the line.”
”That’s enough of that,” I say to the girl. ”You’ll get your turn.”
Returning my attention to the crying boy in front of me, I fold my arms in front of my chest as I lean against the table and nod at Bradley, urging him to continue.
”N-N-No, I shouldn’t have said anything, she was right, I’m taking up too much of your time,” he says.
Peering back toward the girl.
”See what happens when you’re a jerk for no reason?” I ask her and her face turns red with embarrassment. ”I want to hear your story,” I say as I once again return my attention to Bradley.
”Okay,” he says as he smiles a little and his nervousness seems to dissipate. ”Well, watching those promos,” he says without his stutter. ”You weren’t talking to me, but I imagined you were. And it inspired me to push harder to get better and I just wanted to thank you for that.”
”Well I’m happy that helped you,” and instinctively give the boy a hug. ”Did you meet Corey yet?”
He shakes his head.
”COREY!” I shout in his direction. Across the floor, Corey pops his head up like a whack-a-mole game and I wave him over. He quickly finishes up with a fan and dances his way over.
”What’s up?”
”This is Bradley,” I inform Corey and Corey greets him with a handshake.
”Hi Mr. Smith its nice to meet you,” he says to him.
”Just Corey.”
”Bradley here has some health issues of his own and our work together inspired him to work harder too,” I say to Corey and he smiles a little.
”I’d probably still be in a wheelchair if I didn’t watch those promos,” Bradley says.
”I’m glad we could help,” Corey says with a smile. ”I need to get back to my line though. Come see me Bradley, I’ll give you somethin’ nice.”
”If it isn’t too much trouble, could I get a pic with both of you?”
Honestly, it’s never too much trouble. Corey and I happily pose for a pic with Bradley. Grabbing the Universal title from the table before the pic, Corey and I hold it up in front of Bradley’s waist. After the pic, Corey excuses himself and trots back to his position and I return to my spot behind the table, once again folding the championship and lying it in front of me.
”Oh yeah!” he says as he reaches into his jacket. ”I almost forgot.” He pulls out a poster and unrolls it. ”Can you autograph this?”
I give the poster a once over.
”Holy shit that’s awesome,” I say aloud as I look at the image of myself. ”When did they put these out?”
”You didn’t know about it?” Page asks me.
”Nah it’s the first I seen it,” I say to him as I sign the poster for Bradley. ”I notice you’re absent from it though. Must suck becoming an afterthought,” I joke.
”You’re a real Mother Theresa ya know?” Page jokes as I roll the poster up and hand it to Bradley.
”Bradley it was great meeting you,” Bradley smiles and hobbles off toward Corey’s line. ”Mother Theresa?” I say to Page as I wave the next fan forward.
”A god damn saint,” he continues his joke.
”Bitch please,” I say turning to him. ”Mother Theresa never looked this fucking good.”
In Dustin Diamond’s infinite wisdom, yeah I said Dustin, I don’t give a fuck. In his infinite wisdom I am now barred from getting physical with Chris Page between now and bell time at Snow Job. I mean, it’s fine by me, Chris and I have been so violent toward each other that at this point anymore violence would just be overkill. So what does he do? Forces us to team up.
I’m okay with that.
I mean, how else is he gonna get in the win column without tarnishing his reputation before Snow Job unless he has a tag team partner? I don’t want him losing and causing the stock in the grand finale to plummet like it most assuredly would. What better way to ensure the stock keeps soaring, what better way to ‘protect’ Chris Page’s images as we march into the Frozen Tundra… than to team him with Thaddeus Duke?
Now, I’ll admit I am kind of excited for it. If I said I wasn’t, I’d be lying. It’s not every day that Chris Page gets to team with someone as good and complete as I am. You could make an argument that Robert Main was pretty good and you’d be right. But he isn’t me. Robert Main was supposed to come for me, yet he decided to take a damn nap backstage and Chris Page seized the opportunity for himself.
Chris says he’s innocent.
Thad thinks he’s lying.
But it doesn’t matter, does it?
What’s done is done and poor old Bobby Main can sit his ass at home where he’d rather be anyway and Chris can have one last moment in the sun before I take that from him too.
That leaves us with current events and the amazing tag team combination of Shawn Wylde and Finn Kuhn. Okay so maybe I was being nice by saying ‘amazing.’ Listen, it’s nothing personal. I have nothing against either of these guys but the fact is they stand in the way. They stand in the path on the way to Snow Job and while there’s nothing at stake in this match, while there’s nothing to gain by winning this match, there’s a lot to lose. The stock I was talking about earlier.
There can be no blemish, there can be no hiccups on the way to Snow Job because the feud that has raged between Page and myself since the summer deserves to see its final nail driven in with all the eyes possible staring at he and I. One hiccup can cost us viewership and buyrates and my friends, unfortunately for you, I can’t allow that to happen.
Now, I’ll admit that I have seen some very fine things from Shawn Wylde and while I’ll stop short of saying impressive, I will absolutely say to keep it up and I’ll be watching if for no other reason than to see what becomes of you when you suffer defeat and how you respond to it. How you recover from it. So congratulations Mr. Wylde, you do have the attention of your Universal champion.
Finn Kuhn is a guy that’s been around a real long time but yet is seldom ever actually seen. People mock me for my hiatuses yet here’s a guy that hides who he is time after time just to come back and reveal himself so the hundreds that care to click onto his promos can emit a collective ‘Oh.’
Let it be a lesson Finn, if you’re gonna hide your identity only to reveal it later, you might want to make sure someone cared who you were to begin with. They don’t.
Why should they?
It’s not like you’ve ever done any god damn thing that the people would get excited over.
Again, it’s not personal, just truth. Just facts.
But hey, at least you get to step into the ring with an absolute icon in this industry… and Chris Page.
82-31-1
1x XWF Universal Champion || 3x XWF Xtreme Champion || 1x XWF Supercontinental Champion (First)
1x XWF Hart Champion (Last) || 2x XWF Television Champion || 1x XWF Tag Team Champion
1x OCW Savage Champion || 1x IIW Tag Team Champion || 1x AAW United States Champion
2x SOTM (9/20, 7/21) || 2021 Male Wrestler of the Year || XWF Hall of Legends
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