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Thaddeus Duke · (12-22-2020)

The Tate House || Roanoke Ridge, North Carolina || 8:13 PM

Never did I think he would actually do it and I don’t really know what’s worse, the fact he did or the fact that I allowed myself to think Thaddeus was different than most men on this planet. As good as he is and as kind and as decent as he is, he’s still a fucking man that just has to get his dick wet no matter the cost, no matter who the hell he might hurt in the process. That night in the bar in Maui I was overcome with so much hurt and so much unrelenting rage that I punched him in the face and I haven’t even spoken to him since. He’s texted me numerous times and he called me so many others but I just can’t believe that I punched him. Today though, something’s different. He hasn’t called at all and sent me two texts this morning. That was it.

Asshole.

TEXT ME AT LEAST!

I mean, I’m not answering him back but I can still read his words right? I can still hear his voice in my head as I read those words.

It sounds entirely ridiculous. He cheats on me with the one person I worried about and was assured repeatedly that he wouldn’t. I hit him in response to that and that kills me almost as much as what he did with that freakin’ asshole. Part of me gets it. I know he and Garrett had a bond and I know what it was that separated them. Thad reappears after almost a year and Garrett’s boyfriend is suddenly with another person. A woman no less.

I took off from Maui early that morning around 3 and came straight to my mothers house. We… I... hadn’t seen her much the last few years and even less so as I grew more and more discontented by my role as Alister’s arm candy wife. Visits became more frequent as I landed in Thad’s life and to be quite clear, Thaddeus freed me from a terrible situation largely of my own creation. The moment he entered Alister’s life and by default mine, I knew I loved him. Ridiculously handsome, personalty for days and a certain wit and sense of humor that I usually refer to as juvenile, but somehow oddly addicting. And he’s the genuine article. He doesn’t do fake.

Despite what he did, despite how bad it hurts and angers me, I know I miss both he and Frankie more than anything. Those two boys are the loves of a lifetime and I miss both of their faces. I just… want to go home and see my boys.

”Thanks mom,” I say as she brings me in a cup of hot tea.

”Black, two sugars. I still remember how my baby girl likes it.”

Virginia “Ginny” Tate
Liz’s Mommy

”It’s delicious,” I say after a sniffle.

”So honey, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the end game here?”

”I’m not sure what you mean,” I say before taking another sip. Really, I know exactly what she means but I’m avoiding the question like Chris Chaos avoids beating Thaddeus Duke.

”Do you love him?”

”More than anything,” I answer with certainty.

”Then why are you here?”

”Gee, thanks mom,” I snap back sarcastically. ”It’s been nice to see you too.”

”Don’t be ridiculous, Elizabeth. Obviously you’re welcome here as long or as much as you like. The point is, if you love him, then why are you not with him?” she asks as she takes a seat on the sofa.

”It’s complicated,” I answer her. That’s such a cop out answer.

Jesus Christ I sound like Thaddeus.

”Of course it’s complicated,” she agrees. ”No one said love was gonna be easy. He’s young honey, he was bound to mess up like this once. Are you really willing to toss it all aside for one shitty transgression?”

”No,” I say, again with certainty, while shaking my head.

”Then crack open the door a little, let him know there’s still hope.”

She might be right. Grabbing my cell from the table beside me I start to enter a text to him then quickly delete it. Instead, I start thumbing through my photo album looking at the hundreds of different pictures I’ve taken of him and us. Settling on one, my favorite, I can’t help but smile.

”What’d you say to him? Did he reply?” she asks of me excitedly as she notices my smile.

”No I didn’t send him anything yet,” I say as I turn my phone toward her, showing her the pic I’m looking at. ”Ever see daddy glow and smile like that?”

”That smile will light up a dark room,” she says as I lay my phone back on the table, glancing one more time at him. ”What was he reacting to?”

”We took Frankie fishing,” I say with a smile. ”It was in an old bait shop and he was teaching Frankie how to knot a hook and I told him he’ll make a great dad one day.”

”Aww that was sweet of you,” mom says, returning a smile.

”He puts a lot of pressure on himself to be a good dad to Frankie and it’s really hard for him. They were just buddies before and now its all different.”

”Does he want kids of his own?”

I nod in response. ”He didn’t have the best father role model when he was growing up either, so he’s so scared that he’ll be so bad at it.”

Mom shakes her head.

”What?”

”I don’t know him well, honey,” she prefaces. ”What I have seen in the few months I’ve known him and the little experience I’ve had with him is a young man that cares deeply, feels deeply. I’ve seen how he acts with Frankie and how he tries to teach him. He loves that boy. And he loves you.

“I caught him so many times just staring at you with a smile on his face.”

”But whyyyyy did he do that!?” I say with a roll of my eyes as I slouch back into the chair.

”I don’t know honey, maybe he was feeling lost? Maybe he was feeling guilty for what he did to that boy and he let his emotions get the better of him? Why do people always hurt the ones they love, Lizzy?

“Because we’re human. We make horrible mistakes because of it.”

”I knew it was bothering him. I mean, I didn’t know it was that but whatever it was was bothering him. I wanted him to tell me what it was and I wanted to tell him something too.”

”What did you want to tell him?” she asks but for the moment, I just glaze over her question.

”It was our last night in Maui, he was finally coming down from his big night on pay per view high and I just wanted to send him back up again.”

”What was it?”

”Mom,” I say and just then I hear a thump outside. I reach for the drape to pull it aside and hear a second thump. ”Oh my God!”

”What is it?”

Nervously excited, yet also with a splash of anxiety I leap out of the chair and start pacing. ”He’s here,” I answer her. ”Thad and Frankie both.”

Knock,Knock,Knock,Knock

”You gonna let ‘em in?” she asks as I nervously bounce between the door and the bottom of the staircase leading upstairs.

”Yeah,” I answer her and turn toward the door. I reach for the doorknob then quickly retreat back to the stairs. ”No you get it,” I tell mom before doing another 180 and going to the door. ”No, I’ll get it.”

Knock,Knock,Knock,Knock

”No, you get it,” I tell her as I retreat again like a coward and start running upstairs. ”Tell him I’m not here.”

”Why ain’t no one answering!? I have to pee!” Frankie shouts as he holds himself and rocks back and forth.

No sooner does he ask and the door opens.

”Hi Ginny!” he says as he darts through the door right passed Ginny.

”Hi Thad honey, come on in,” Ginny greets me warmly. Once inside, she gives me a hug and a kiss on my cheek.

”Sorry ‘bout that, he had to go. It was a long drive,” I say with a forced smile.

”Oh don’t worry about it hun,” she says as she shrugs off Frankie barging into her house. ”I had kids too, don’t forget.”

”Speaking of your kids, where’s Liz?” I ask her nervously.

”I’m sorry honey, you just missed her,” Ginny informs me as she offers me a seat.

”I’d rather not if...”

”Sit,” she insists.

”Yes ma’am.”

”First of all, congratulations on your success at the wrestling stuff,” she says sort of nonchalantly. She’s just being nice, Ginny doesn’t really get wrestling. ”Secondly… Babydoll what were you thinking?”

That was quick. Not unexpected though.

”Thanks, but none of it even matters without your daughter,” I say as Frankie emerges from the bathroom just inside the hallway. ”Did you flush?” I ask him.

”Yeah.”

”Wash your hands?”

”YES! MY GOD!” he huffs. ”Where’s Liz?”

”Not here,” I answer him before returning my attention to Ginny. ”To answer your question, I wasn’t. At all.”

”Ya think so?” she says sarcastically. ”I want you to tell me what you learned.”

Her demand kind of throws me off some and she can tell.

”You did whatever it is you did, and believe me I don’t want those details,” she says as she holds up her hands. ”Mistakes teach you things, right? So, what did you learn?”

”That I love your daughter more than anything in the world and the thought of not having her scares me to death,” I begin. ”I can’t change what happened. I’m not sure I would, to be honest.”

She looks at me perplexed, but urges me to go on.

”What I mean is, I was confused and my heart was pulling me in two different directions. I wanted to have both of them,” I continue on as I choke back emotion.

”Yes I heard about the polyamory deal,” she interjects with an eye roll. ”Life doesn’t really work that way, honey.”

”Doing… what I did, it kind of put it into perspective for me. I think it gave me a kind of closure with Garrett while reinforcing the fact that Elizabeth is the be all, end all. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met.

“I can live without Garrett.

“I don’t even want to live without Elizabeth.”

Ginny smiles in my direction.

”Thad?” Frankie interrupts from his place on the sofa. He’s been staring out the window facing the back of the sofa since he came out of the bathroom. ”Where did Liz rent a car from?”

”Enterprise, why?”

”The sticker on the car beside yours said Enterprise on it. I saw it when we pulled in,” he informs me as he turns to look over his shoulder at Ginny. ”You said she wasn’t here.”

”I’m here,” Liz says from somewhere behind me, startling me. I leap from the chair I’m in to see her sitting on the steps about halfway up.

Moving to the bottom of the steps, I don’t take my watery eyes off her.

”Hi,” I say like an eighth grader talking to his crush for the first time.

”Hi,” she returns the gesture as she tries but fails to not look at me.

Frankie darts from the sofa, dips between me and the chair I was sitting in, and makes his way up the steps to throw his arms around Liz.

”I missed you baby boy,” she says to Frankie as she kisses the side of his head.

”How long have you been sitting there?” I ask her.

”Since ‘did you flush?’” she replies.

Sneaky.

”Frankie baby, come with me. Ginny’ll make you a sandwich,” Ginny says to him, ushering him from the room leaving us alone.

Climbing the steps, I stop at her eye level and she turns to her right, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.

”Will you look at me?” I ask shyly.

”No, I don’t think I can,” she replies, breaking my heart in the process.

”Why not?” I ask of her already knowing the answer.

”Because then I’ll want to beat the shit out of you,” she answers me honestly.

”I’m okay with that...”

”And then I’ll want to fuck your brains out.”

I’m definitely okay with that, but I’m not saying it.

”Ewwwwwww!” Frankie yells from the kitchen where he’s clearly not eavesdropping. His remark makes me laugh and her to stifle her own.

”I didn’t mean to say that part out loud,” she says as I reach my hand out to her. She hesitates, but accepts. As she stands, I climb another couple steps to meet her eye level again.

”Can we talk somewhere?”

She nods and turns up the steps, not letting go of my hand.

”Keep the door open!” Ginny jokes from the kitchen.

”Mom!”

”Better yet keep it closed, Frankie and I don’t wanna hear nothin’,” she jokes some more.

”MOM!” Liz shouts back as we enter her mothers bedroom. Behind us, she slams the door closed then shoves me against it before wrapping her arms around my head and kissing me.

That was unexpected.

Moments later she backs off a few inches and stares me in the eyes before looking down at the fading yellowish bruise on the left side of my chin.

”Does it hurt?”

”Nah.”

”I’m sorry I hit you,” she says with a tear in her eye.

”I’m sorry I made you do it.”

”It’s no excuse.”

Looking on incredulously, I can’t help but be entirely in awe of her. For me to do what I did and she’s more concerned over her hitting me.

”I know how you feel about Garrett,” she says as she lets go of me and steps back a bit. ”I know it isn’t easy for you. I know you hold a lot of guilt for what you did to him.”

”I don’t feel that way about him anymore,” I say to her, not totally convinced that I’m being entirely honest.

”Why?”

”I meant what I said downstairs, Liz,” I begin to explain. ”It was unfair and unrealistic for me to try and have the best of both worlds. It was stupid and selfish of me to do what I did and I want you to forgive me, but I’m not even sure I’ll ever forgive myself.

“It isn’t even a contest at this point. You’re the one I want. The only one I want. Now and always.”

She sniffles and wipes a tear from her eye.

”I’m sorry it took doing what I did to figure that out.”

Still standing against the door, she approaches again and leans against me as I wrap my arms around her. I don’t know what it is or how she was created the way she is, but what an amazing woman.

”That’s your free pass,” she says to me. ”There won’t be another one, Baby.”

”I won’t need another one,” I say through tears of relief.

”What’s in your pocket?”

Thinking quickly, I try to find a joke and she can sense that, but unfortunately nothing comes to mind.

”Not that pocket,” she says with a smile.

”Ohhhhhh,” I say as I reach into my hoodie and pull out her divorce papers.

”What are those?” she asks as she steps back again.

”We made a stop after we left Connecticut,” I tell her as I hand her the papers. ”I told you I’d get it done.”

She opens up the folded papers and looks at the signature.

”You did this for me?”

I nod. ”I didn’t know if you were ever coming home or not but I wanted to make sure he couldn’t pull anything even if you didn’t.”

”Baby,” she says as she looks at me. ”What did this cost you?”

I say nothing initially.

”Alister doesn’t do anything without it benefiting him, what did you give up for this?”

”Just my dignity,” I answer her finally.

”Ohhh Babyyyy,” she says with a sigh. ”No,” Liz says as she hands the papers to me.

Not taking them, I merely smile in her direction. ”It’s a small price to pay for your freedom.”

”But working for him again? No honey, we’ll just wait it out,” she insists.

I shake my head in response.

”He’ll just keep moving the goalposts, Liz. He already said he would.”

”How long?”

I take a seat on her mothers bed and lean back, propping myself up on my elbow.

”Long enough that the divorce is finalized by the courts. Uncontested, it shouldn’t take too long.”

”Is that what he says?”

”He said until it pleases him, but once the divorce is final he really doesn’t have anything left to hold over my head.”

Liz almost dives onto the bed to curl up next to me and begins to cry silent tears. She kisses the fading bruise she left on my chin a week ago.

”You’re gonna come home I take it?” I ask her hesitantly. I want nothing more at this point.

”Ghosting you for a week wasn’t punishment enough?” she asks after a sniffle.

”I don’t think so.” That’s about as honest an assessment as I can give. I have far better friends and better loves than I truly deserve. I may be kind and decent and all the adjectives that describe a good guy, but like anyone I have some glaring warts in my character as a man. Somehow, some way, those within my inner circle, those I keep so close to me, seem willing to overlook those flaws I have. I don’t feel I deserve her forgiveness yet she’s readily giving it to me.

I made a terrible mistake and she’s forgiven me, or at least she’s trying very hard to do so. While I do not feel I deserve that, if there’s anything more clear to me at this moment, it’s that I can never do anything to make her come to regret her decision to move forward.

I want so badly to laugh. And I would if it wasn’t just so… damn sad. This is getting tiresome, honestly. Chris and I have gone back and forth a number of times in this lead up to Warfare and the lead up to his next loss to me. While it is what we do as competitors in an upcoming match, it is also boring the shit out of me to keep going over the same old talking points and having to deflect his baseless claims, his unfounded accusations, and his repetitive nature.

This is the guy accusing me of talking in circles after I made it demonstratively clear its what he was doing. This is the guy accusing me of having the same things to say about him that everyone else has already said to him or about him all the while I’ve spent the majority of my time commenting on things he has been saying. This is the guy that is saying ‘he’s in my head’ when I’ve been the steadfast one. I’ve been the immovable object while Chris Chaos is the guy changing his style from one promo to the next, changing his demeanor from one promo to the next, changing his game plan all the way up from one promo to the next after I’ve verbally destroyed the false foundations he was trying to build as if I were a fucking wrecking ball.

I am, in fact.

I’ve been a wrecking ball for Chris Chaos for years and that’s not even a secret. It isn’t even news. He won’t and can’t deny it despite his early attempts to mask his repeated failures against me as some grand scheme to build me up, just to tear me down. It was never him that built me up. It was me and the millions of fans that pay their hard earned money to come see me do what I do. And he’ll never tear me down because he just doesn’t have a leg to stand on in that regard.

Thanks for playing, Chris. On your way out of Warfare when you’re still titleless and still unable to beat me, be sure to get your parking validated. That’s literally the only way you’re going to get the validation you seek.

It’s at the point now where maybe I should have my ten year old finish this promo and the next because it’s pretty impossible to come back from dropping a troll on yourself and at this point I just kind of feel like a bully. Plus, Frankie is a lot more on Chris’s level of capabilities on the stick...

Hey! Frankie shouts from off camera. The camera pans to Thad’s right to where he’s sitting in a chair watching. I find that insulting. I’m better than he is. Frankie says as the camera pans back to a smiling Thaddeus.

By the way Chris, I meant to mention it in my last promo when I yet again verbally destroyed you, but am I charismatic? Or am I monotonous? I can’t be both of those things but judging by the amount of love I receive from the XWF Universe, I’d make an educated guess that it’s the former, not the latter. The fact is you know that what I say about you or to you, hits home for you and that’s why you call me charismatic. The fact that you hate what I have to say is what makes you turn around and say I’m monotonous.

Deflection at its worst. Contradiction at its finest.

In viewing Chris’s fourth let down of a promo, he’s now abandoned all hope of that pointless Chris Page Plan of manipulating things in order to watch me rise only to be the cause of my failure, in favor of... checks notes… baseless claims, now accusing me of ripping off someone else, now ripping my diatribes from my own promos and regurgitating them back to me in his own voice… because that’s not transparent either… oh! And calling me a pedophile.

Thad scoffs and looks directly into the camera.

Who didn’t see that coming?

Thanks for calling me a world class actor though. I’ll take that compliment and urge you to watch the two new shows I have debuting next year.

Anyway...

He wants you all to think that because he’s spent his time ripping off others and I’ve spent my time dismantling him that I’m not saying anything new that someone else hasn’t already said, and he may or may not be right on some level. I don’t know. I have no vested interest in watching what others say about him in their promos. I don’t need them in order to tear him down. My focus has been almost entirely on what he says, on what he does.

Here’s where his argument dies: when you don’t evolve, when you never get any better than the day you first showed up and the world has all but forgotten about you, like he readily admitted in the great troll job on himself, there can be nothing new to say because, again, nothing has changed about Chris Chaos since the day he arrived in the XWF four years ago. You’d think that’d be a teachable lesson for Chris Chaos, but if ever there was someone unteachable, it’s Chris Chaos. He learns nothing from failure and that’s why he’s the same kinda good but never great Chris Chaos he’s been all these years.

From there we move on to more Lionheart talk. While I won’t fault him for not speaking German or even knowing that my nickname is simply a derivative of my own actual legal birth name, or not knowing that neither Thaddeus nor Leander are even German in origin, I can and will fault him for continuing on with the claim that it’s nothing but a ripoff after I’ve already taught him the truth. Die on that hill man.

And I’m the repetitive one…

In this diatribe of his he spins my argument about me always owning him and it’s not a matchup he really wants to suggest that, using logic, he actually would want this particular matchup in order to prove he can beat me. I’ll concede that that’s a valid point but while wrestling matches aren’t won or lost in promo form, it can’t be overlooked that he’s been decimated from the start of the promo cycle and if that’s any indication of his last several outings against me, then he already knows he’s filming promos and waiting just to lose again.

It’s okay Chris. There’s no shame in you or anyone else losing to me. I’m pretty god damn good at what I do.

Mr. Jackson continues on, claiming I’m egotistical while trying to tear down my humility over my success. I do have an ego. I have never claimed otherwise. It’s the nature of the business we’re in to build up an ego. This guy though, claims that I won the title and I’m cramming it in everyone’s face and trying to spin that into my egotism and negating my humility while earlier on in this promo he and his gutter trash girlfriend were laughing at me while my emotions got the better of me when I just won the biggest prize in the game.

I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve. I hold no emotion back and I’ve never hidden that. I’ve never once tried to claim I was. Winning that championship, Chris, was a humbling experience and while I don’t expect you to acknowledge it, while I don’t expect you to finally agree with me… The night I won the title at High Stakes, when the bell rang and I sat in the ring with thousands of supporters cheering and the belt was handed to me, you’re damn right I let it all go. That title represents the banner of the Xtreme Wrestling Federation and I now held it in my hands having earned it. Despite your repeated claims to the contrary, knowing I earned it. Knowing I now carry the flag just as so many other greats like James Raven, or Vinnie Lane, or Theo Pryce, my father, Jim Caedus, Doc D’Ville, Azrael Erebus… you know, before he became a cartoonish parody of himself… to have my name mentioned in the same breath as those that carried the flag before me… is a fucking honor. And I don’t hide from that honor. I cherish it.

He’s repeatedly made mention of the fact that I’ve left the XWF a few times and I haven’t really touched on the subject because it’s a horrible argument for him to make. He claimed that as soon as a flaw is exposed, I run. He claims as soon as I don’t like an outcome, I take off. If you want the facts as to why I’ve left the company three times I can only point to my personal life that you call fan-fiction. It’s rather difficult to lead the life I do while simultaneously playing the role of famous pro wrestler.

That fan-fiction life I lead, sometimes tears me away from the sport I love, but my personal life will always take precedence. That’s what it means when you are singularly held responsible for the lives of hundreds of thousands of others.

By your own logic, had I left simply because I disliked an outcome, I’d have left a dozen times. Not three.

By your own logic, had I left simply because a flaw was exposed, I’d have left 30 times. Again, not three.

Continue to beat the drum though, Chris. Why I have left the company in the past has no relevance to the fact that I’m here right now. That I have no intention of leaving it anytime soon. That I am anything but better than you and no matter how much I stay or go, no matter how many shows you sign up for, I always will be.

This is the same guy that says I study him from the comfort of my couch when I’ve been away. Chris, I studied you one time. Right after our first match. You’ve been figured out ever since and I assure you, those times I’ve stepped away or in the case of my firing, been forced to step away, I study me and only me. It is I that dictates how my future plays out, not you, not anyone else. Studying oneself is a rather easy way to, dare I say it, evolve your own game.

But go on man, continue to regurgitate Robert Main’s talking points from High Stakes. You know, because no one’s said it before.

I’d talk about his claims that I was fucking Dolly Waters four years ago but I’m not about to lend credence to something he knows absolutely nothing about: true friendship.

Chris, my friend, and I use that term in its loosest possible way... tomorrow night in Venice, despite your desires despite your rhetoric, despite everything and despite all of the bullshit you’ve ineffectively thrown my way the talk ends and the fight begins. When its all over, I won’t mind telling you I told you so. I won’t mind telling you that you were outclassed and outsmarted in practically every level of this matchup.

And you Chris, will have no choice but to say the words ‘I Quit’ and then you can go back to Florida, slink back into the gutter with Mandii and come up with your next big someone else’s plan to get yourself over again. And yeah man, I’ve been behind YOU for so long that you’ve seen nothing but my ass and elbows for three years, but let’s not mess this all up with any more of these pesky facts.

Just like always, he speaks and says whatever it is he says, but the facts staring him in the face contradict virtually everything he says. He really can’t make the verbal game any easier than he has. It never had to be this way but Chris gonna Chaos, ya know?

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