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Thaddeus Duke · (12-15-2020)

I thought about what I might do. I thought about what I might say to teach you a lesson you’ll never forget. The thing I learned over the years though Chris is that no matter how much someone tries to teach you something… it never sinks in. You never get it. You never learn a god damn thing, do you?

I was gonna take the envelope you’re pushing and the wall you’re leaning on so heavily and I was gonna bust it all to hell just to make you hurt all over again. I was all set to hire actors to play different roles and I was totally hiring a real fat son of a bitch named Roy to play the role of Kris Kaos and I was gonna play myself and we were gonna do a recreation of the imaginary conversations you think you’ve had with THADDEUS DUKE.

But I didn’t.

A year ago, I might have.

Today though, I won’t stoop to your levels, Chris. There’s a sanctity and integrity in what we do here in the Xtreme Wrestling Federation and I’m just not willing to compromise myself just to stick the dagger through your skull, despite my desire to do it repeatedly. So just keep pushing at all those boundaries you seem so willing to break and I’ll just keep figuratively ripping you apart, piece by little piece.

You should already know by now but again, you never learn a god damn thing, the more you talk, the worse it’s gonna be for you. The more you go on, the harder I’m going to verbally hit you. It’s a vicious cycle, I know, but such is life in the Universal title division. You can’t not promo for it, so you’re stuck in an endless loop of having to say things and running the risk of me verbally raping your asshole, over and over again. And you know I will. I have already and I will continue doing it. It’s a Chaos 22, if you will.

You know what else I considered, Chris? You know what I had to be talked out of? You know how as defending champion I choose the stipulations, right? After Relentless, I was pretty intent on running you out of the company. I was set on forgetting all about my own future, my own championship aspirations, just to run you out of the company I love, to spare it from your further presence. Fast forward to now and we’re just over a week away from me beating you like you owe me money and I was dead set on making this a You Lose, You Leave kind of situation and then I thought about it some more.

What if I get bored?

What if I get pissed off?

What if I’m frustrated over any number of fucking things?

What would I do if I didn’t have Chris Chaos lurking around the lower midcard ranks to take out my boredom on? To take out my anger on? To take out my frustrations on? To repeatedly humiliate just for the sheer pleasure of it?

Nah Chris, I want you around for a long time. So after I’ve beaten you senseless, after you’ve said you quit, after I’ve retained my Universal title, you get to keep your job.

I want you to lick your wounds and come back. I want you to reevaluate your life and all the choices you’ve made. I want you feeling like its safe to get back in the water. I want you to regain a little of the confidence I have all but entirely zapped from your psyche. I want you to start that climb again. I want you to feel like you’re gaining steam again, gaining traction again. I want you to start feeling like the Chris Chaos of old only better because you’re actually evolving… So that I can watch you climb and when I think you’re finally getting somewhere. I’m gonna be there to take it away from you all over again.

On to promo two and let’s win there.

Three seconds in and it’s already repetitive. What happened Chris? You run out of Page material to try and rip off and you just know you ain’t got the chops to stand with me on your own two lips so you just start taking the shit you were already stealing and rewording it yet again?

You got the right initials, dumbass. C.C. Carbon copy. Except, carbon copies are never really as good as the originals, are they Chris? I mean, you aren’t even as good as your own original self yet here you are, wrinkled and illegible, realizing you’re fighting a losing battle against reality.

I am that reality, Mr. Jackson. You can spout off all the conjecture and useless bullshit that everyone rolls their eyes at when they hear it, like I’m a scared little boy because the supposedly badder than me, better than me, smarter than me Chris Chaos is comin’ for my title…

Oh.

Em.

Gee.

Guys he did it. The man I’ve completely mocked and humiliated time and time again has made me so scared because his three years of mehhh was all a rouse and…

See?

Can you not see how ridiculous it is for you to say something so entirely baseless? Do you think anyone heard you say that and was like ‘damn he right’? Chris, don’t ask around because you know and I know it’s an emphatic no and they, just like me, are laughing at you.

Hysterically.

I mean, it all seems like the hill you’re willing to die on and I’m okay with that. Bigger, badder, stronger, faster, smarter than me...

Thad scoffs.

Bigger than me? Yeah physically, you’re a larger human than me. Golly gee wiz, sure got me there. Figuratively, you’re just a satellite orbiting my planet. It isn’t ego, it isn’t conjecture. It’s just plain fact. Duke Nation now sits at the center of the XWF Universe. You’re free to sit in orbit, or you can wander off and find a new universe. Those are your options.

While you say this is the matchup you were hoping for, anyone worth a shit that has paid attention and is aware of our history knows that this is the absolute last god damn matchup you wanted because while there’s a whole bunch of people in the XWF that own you when you open your mouth, there’s no one on the roster that owns you quite like I do, there’s no one on the roster that takes the amount of pleasure I do in doing that, time after time after time.

I just give the people what they want and it’s not my fault what they want and what I want are sometimes perfectly aligned. The XWF roster cheers and hoots and hollers when my name is next to yours on a card because they know exactly what they’re about to see: Thaddeus Duke tossing hand grenades and launching cannon balls while you’re just fiddling away with bottle rockets and sparklers. The people love a good verbal ass kicking and they all especially love it when I’m the one giving it to you. I’m more than happy to provide the theatrics.

So badder than me? Worse, is the correct word to use in this situation. Being badder, or a badass, isn’t sneak attacking people to make yourself look good at something when you eventually fail to deliver. Being a badass is talking shit, then backing it up. Being a badass, is having the odds against you, then overcoming those odds. Being a badass, is doing things that are seemingly impossible while also not being a fucking doormat.

Like for example, gee I dunno, defeating the undefeated Cataclysm? Entering a battle royal against 18 other men and women right after putting my body on the line in a brutal ladder match and winning. That’s what being a badass is Chris. I don’t need to resort to cheap tactics to “get over” I do that by just being myself and doing what I do. Then accepting those victories with class and grace, and a dash of humility. That’s pretty badass and there’s millions of fans that agree with me.

God, you’re boring me to death with this promo of yours Chris. Is that your actual master plan? Ramble on incoherently for so long that I fall asleep and miss promo deadlines? That might actually work, but again, its a Chaos 22. If I take some No-Doz and can get through this one, and the next and whatever else you plan to release in the future, you keep talking, I keep verbally bitch slapping you and you just keep on keeping on and I keep on making you my bitch like I always do.

“Is Thaddeus really that good?”

You want to sit there and attach meritless words to me like I ‘never thought I was Universal title material’ but I got news for you Chris. Despite my failures in this industry that I have never hidden from, despite my self inflicted sabotage that nearly derailed my entire career and got me fired by my own uncle… I have never not claimed that I was the fucking best in that ring. Never.

So the answer is simple and short, just like your ride on my coattails to the Warfare main event. I’m exactly as good as I’ve always said I am and the fact that you cover your constant failures with stupidity like “management had it out for me” and “Thad was never screwed by management” while simultaneously trying to prop up your own ego by thinking and repeatedly saying that my rise since my return had anything to do with my hatred for you is not only stupid, it’s fucking laughable.

You.

Are.

An.

Aside.

What that means Chris, is that my hatred for you is just something I do when I get a little bored. It isn’t my fault that the world enjoys my hatred for you. It’s yours Chris. My hatred for you is shared by most of the people you see in any XWF arena and all of it is your own fault. Your claims of being fucked by management? Get the fuck outta here with that shit. You screwed you and you always have.

“Blah blah blah, more stupid conjecture… It’s their hatred that has driven me.”

Driven you to what, exactly? The three years of nothing you’ve accomplished since you lost the Universal title to the Radical? A man, that again, I beat handily three years ago. Driven you to entirely dismantle your own legacy by letting you just be yourself? You admitted it yourself that you haven’t really done anything of merit since Ned Kaye a year ago. So again I pose the question, what has their hatred driven you to except your own self-pity, your own failure, your own self inflicted wounds?

You’re not misunderstood Chris. Everyone that has ever known you gives you all the rope and you turn around and hang yourself with it. It’s you that shows your true colors and it’s you that blames everyone else when every relationship you try to forge gets flushed down the fucking toilet just like you’ve done to your career.

“More useless babbling… Doc helped you win.”

Are you really going to keep bringing it up? We’ve already covered this, but I’ll break it down even more for you since you’re too fucking imbecilic to understand. Even if Doc hadn’t grabbed my foot, and all four of us went over the top, Chris. My back was against the ropes. Corey, Page and Witness were facing the ropes, chump. My arm was hooked on the top rope because I saw Corey coming in like a wrecking ball. Had all four of us gone over, those three still would have landed on the floor, I would have at the least landed on the apron, and at the most landed on the floor last because those three had forward momentum, I was the resistance because that was my plan for the wrecking ball that was Corey Smith- to go over the top and land on the apron taking everyone with me.

That’s facts.

Not conjecture.

Doc grabbing my foot was neither necessary nor wanted. I’d tell you to ask him why he did it, but you’re even more afraid of him than you are of me. D’Ville and I… partners yes, not anything close to friends. You can keep trying to invalidate my victory Chris, but what does that do to your master plan? If your master plan was to lose to me a bunch of times to ‘build me up’ only to position things in such a way that I end up with the Universal title so that you can ‘hit the switch’ so to speak and finally beat me and take it from me, then it seems counter productive to your big plan at large to undercut the main event of that plan.

I really don’t want to keep talking about three years ago, but you made a counter point to my greener than goose shit argument by saying you were also green and only in the XWF a few months. Fair point, but you also had a wrestling career before the XWF, I hadn’t. I mean, it says so even on your XWF roster profile. I was 17 when I started, 18 at the match in question. So yeah, let’s continue to shit on a teenager taking time to hone his craft. I mean… it’s not like you’ve honed your craft at all in the four years we’ve known each other.

Chris, you’re not playing a game. All you’re doing is filling up XWF air time while biding your time until you lose again. And there will be no excuses. You will say I quit. You will lose. You will have earned that loss like you’ve earned all your others.

Guys (and girls) Warfare is tagged Christmas Chaos because Chris is there and he’s getting some big push by the team of management he just got done saying hates his fucking guts and screws him over. I mean, they do hate him, but that’s also his own fault. There’s another company out there I saw advertising on Twitter having a Christmas Chaos show too. Is that for you? Are you getting some big push there too? Do they have their own version of Thaddeus Duke that fucking owns you there like I do here? Did you sacrifice your own career to build him up and unleash some master plan to take his world title too? Sometimes Chris, the word ‘chaos’ is just a buzzword.

And just so we’re clear here Sport… The term ‘push’ you use so loosely, that word applies to those that the company believes in. Do you really think the company believes in you? Do you really think that Vinnie Lane and Theo Pryce believe in Chris Chaos?

Of course not.

How can they believe in him when Chris Chaos doesn’t even believe in Chris Chaos?

Chris, I can hit a pretty good fastball. Winks at Vinnie. So keep tossing me these underhand softballs and I’ll just keep crushing them… and you.

Go ahead and reply, Chris. I’m not done here.

Illuminatus Compound || Old Saybrook, Connecticut || 8:37 AM

Elizabeth left Maui a few hours after she decked me in the bar. She took the first flight out to California, then a non-stop to North Carolina. Liz didn’t tell me any of that, I had Lincoln do some digging. She hasn’t told me anything. In fact, she hasn’t said a word to me since she hit me. Not a text, not a call. Nothing. Certainly it hurts, but I also deserve it.

Frankie has been acting out, too. This wasn’t anything I expected. To be honest I don’t really know what I expected. He figured out he loves slamming doors. He loves talking back, and quite apparently, discovered his love of outright defiance.

Actions have consequences, and my selfish actions have had catastrophic effects on my home life. Things aren’t the same without her. They shouldn’t be.

”Why did you do that!?” Frankie cries out in frustration, tears rolling down his cheeks.

”What? What’d I do?” I ask as he slams down his controller.

”You were on my team and you just shot me!” he replies as he storms out of the game room.

”Frankie!?” I call after him but he ignores me entirely. After shutting off the PlayStation I pull the trigger on the sofa, raising the leg rest with an audible sigh.

SLAM! goes his bedroom door.

I’m good, even great at a lot of things. Fatherhood, being a significant other, not so much. It’s not for a lack of trying, but I find ways to fuck things up and then I have no idea how to fix them, or to at least try to.

”Hey hun,” Berta, my live in housekeeper, chef, and all the rest, says as she enters the game room and takes a seat on the other end of the sofa.

”Mornin’ Berta,” I say without looking in her direction.

”What do you want for breakfast today?” she asks. To be clear, she never asks, she’s just trying to break the tension.

”I don’t really feel like eating,” I answer her.

”And Frankie?”

”I don’t know. French toast probably, he loves french toast.”

”I’ll fix him some,” she says. ”You wanna talk about it?”

”Not really,” I answer her, almost shamefully.

”You two are good together you know?”

”We were,” I correct her.

”Just give her time, honey,” she advises as she stands up, preparing to go fix french toast for Frankie. ”Can I ask you something?”

I look toward her.

”What could possibly have happened for her to leave you?”

”It’s complicated,” I answer her. It isn’t really complicated, I just can’t verbalize what I did. It was something entirely selfish and completely stupid. She’s gone and now I have to live with that.

”Garrett?” she guesses. To which I just look away. ”Dumbass.”

”That’s putting it mildly.”

”You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

”What’s to talk about? I did what I did and she left.”

”What about Frankie?”

”No Frankie can’t leave,” I say facetiously. ”I own him.”

”No, you dunce! I mean does he want to talk about it?”

Hmmmph.

I honestly hadn’t even thought about that. Since Maui I’ve been pretty consumed by my own guilt, my own hurt and my own grief, that I never really stopped to think about what Frankie needed from me through all of this. As much as I love Liz, so does he. The thought never occurred to me that he needed an explanation.

”I’m on it,” I say as I force the leg rest back into the sofa and stand up.

”Stop being so hard on yourself, kid. You’re young and figuring this shit out as you go. Mistakes are bound to happen.”

”She won’t talk to me, Berta,” I say as she grabs both of my shoulders.

”She will,” she reassures me. ”You’re good, you’re kind, you’re a sweetheart. You’re god damn Prince Charming, now stop feeling sorry for yourself and start putting one foot in front of the other and give her time.

“She’ll come around.”

”Thanks.” After exchanging a hug, I exit the game room and head to Frankie’s bedroom.

”Frankie?” I say after a light knock on his door. He doesn’t respond but I open up anyway… and walk right into the door, smacking my head off of it in the process. ”Oww, what the fuck?” I say as the door won’t budge passed a few inches. Trying a few times, I realize there’s something against the door.

A chair.

Siiiigh.

Reaching my hand inside, I tip the chair over sideways and push my way in. ”Alright kid, it’s time to talk about some things,” I say as I sit on the edge of his bed. He’s lying on his stomach with his head buried in the pillow.

”I’m good,” he informs me.

”No you’re not and neither am I, so turn around and look at me. Let’s talk about what’s going on.”

He lifts his head off the pillow a moment and turns his head to face me, wiping his snot on the pillow as he turns, then proceeds to lay his head back down in the now snotty pillow.

What the fuck?

Why do kids do these things?

”You wanna talk, so talk,” he says like a snot nosed little asshole.

”What do you want to know?”

”Everything,” he answers, eyeing me suspiciously.

”No.”

”Where’s Liz?”

”At Ginny’s in North Carolina,” I reply quickly, her mom’s by the way.

”Why?” he asks quickly.

”Because I missed up,” again that’s putting it mildly.

”What did you do?”

”That’s complicated,” god that’s such a cop out answer.

”Did you do bad drugs when you were celebrating?” he asks with a sniffle.

”No, I don’t do any drugs,” I answer him. ”You know that, Frankie.”

”Did you guys have a fight and you hit her or something?”

”God no, Frankie I would never do that. Why would you think I would?”

He sighs deeply.

”My dad used to do that to my mom,” he says with a shaky voice.

”I know that, I’m sorry Bub,” the realization of the parallels hits me in the face like a ton of bricks. In his mind, he’s lost two mothers in six months.

”Did you cheat on her?” he asks as he sits up on the bed.

Silence.

I can’t lie to him. I won’t lie to him.

Unable to verbalize it, I nod my head.

”Why!?” he shrieks as he starts to cry.

”I don’t know why,” I answer as honestly as I can.

”Who!?”

”Bub, that isn’t important?”

”WHO!?” he cries out as he tries hard to hold back his emotions. ”Was it a girl from the road?”

”Don’t be ridiculous. You’re with me most of the time on the road.”

”Yeah but not always,” he’s right. ”...Corey?”

Admittedly, that one makes me laugh a little.

”No Bub, not Corey.”

”Then G,” he assumes, referring to Garrett.

”Yeah,” I answer him quickly and honestly and he immediately bursts into tears.

”WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?” he asks as he punches my arm. I shrug it off. ”SHE WAS GONNA BE MY MOM!”

”Frankie...” I try to console him but he ain’t having it.

”Just get out!” he shouts as he reburies his head into his pillow.

I hesitate for a few moments, then begin my departure.

”Frankie,” I say, stopping at his doorway. ”I’m sorry I hurt you.”

”Why do you always gotta be so stupid!?” he asks me with his head still buried.

”I ask myself that same question about a hundred times a week.”

He thrusts himself from his pillow and looks at me.

”Have you thought about using your head?” he asks me. ”You know, before using what’s in your pants?”

Fucking.

Ouch.

”You’re right.”

”I know,” he replies with a stone cold stare in my direction.

”I’ll fix this Bub, trust me.”

”Out.”

After making my exit upon Frankie’s orders, I head up to the roof to sulk, to brood, to contemplate my next move and how to navigate my way out of the mess I’ve created. About ten minutes in, I get a text from Garrett.

’G Man’ Said:I heard Liz left you

I wasn’t going to reply, but I’ve entirely ghosted him since that night at his place and I really don’t want to keep hurting the people I love.

’I’ Said:
Yep

’G Man’ Said:You told her?

’I’ Said:
Mostly she figured it out on her own

’G Man’ Said:So then… you’re single?

Let’s not waste a moment, right?

’I’ Said:
No Garrett, I’m not

’I’ Said:
What happened between us was a mistake

’I’ Said:
I’m sorry, I love you but it can’t and won’t ever happen again

Watching my phone as the dots wave at me while he types before they disappear, I anticipate what he sent.

But nothing ever comes.

Siiiiigh.

”Mate?” Jim calls out from behind me.

”Hey,” I greet him as he takes a seat beside me.

”Frankie didn’t eat,” he informs me.

”I figured he might not.

“What’s he doing now?”

”Showering I think,” he replies. ”Can I ask you something?”

”Of course you can.”

”Where’s Elizabeth?”

Stupefied, I look at him.

”You know where she is.”

”Right mate, but if she’s there… Why are you here?”

You know, that’s a really good question.

”Thad, these things happen in life,” he says with his typical ‘I’mma be your friend now and tell you what you need to hear’ demeanor. ”It happens a lot more than couples will admit. It was stupid, selfish, you name it. But it doesn’t have to be the thing that splits you two up for good.”

Beginning to speak, he reaches up and places his hand over my mouth.

”She loves you, mate. Yet you’re at home while she’s at her mums. Thaddeus, when you fuck up, you don’t sit and do nothing and expect things to fix themselves. You do the work to try and fix it.

“It’s fresh, you probably think she hates you right now.”

”She does, Jim.”

”She’s fucking crushed, mate. She never thought you’d do that. Hell I never thought you would, either and I saw you and Garrett when you were together.

“It wasn’t the same thing you have with Elizabeth. I know you think it was, but you’re just lying to yourself. You always have been. You and Garrett were great friends that weren’t really doing anything but exploring. You and Liz? That woman is your soulmate.”

”What do I do?

“Where do I start?”

”You start by putting petrol in the car, then you hit the slip road to 95.”

About ten minutes later, I poke my head into Frankie’s room. He’s just turning on his PlayStation and looks at me.

”Hey,” I say to him rather shyly.

”Hey,” he replies in much the same manner.

”Grab some clothes, we’re leaving town.”

”Can I just stay here?”

”No,” I answer while shaking my head. ”Get some things, be downstairs in five minutes.”

”Where are we going?”

”North Carolina.”

”Alright,” he answers back as he holds back a smile.

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