/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 666 SATAN! VISION 666 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

An image appears on the screen to reveal a man, dressed in a purple and green suit pressed perfectly and ironed in deliberate precision to look impeccably pristine. He wears over his face a Max Headroom mask as his image fades in and out with unreasonable amounts of static. Smeared horizontal and vertical lines swimming back and forth across the television screen in a hypnotic wavelength mesmerizing those still brave enough to watch it and who haven't already gone into a full-blown epileptic seizure.

A pirate broadcast signal sent to interrupt the XWF wavelengths and air the image of the man being seen before you. He sits behind a news desk with a pile of papers stacked up as high as his chin on his immediate left side. On his right, a much smaller pile of papers in which he turns one over and places it on top of the larger pile and begins moving on to the next news story.

"Now that we're done catching everyone up on the whispers of the whiners and their backstage banter, let's move on to the real and important news, shall we?! First and most importantly, Peter Gilmour was robbed of his Xtreme Championship by a couple of gonorrhea gobblers when James Raven performed some type of ballerina moves that distracted Peter Gilmour and cost him the championship. Who wouldn't be distracted by some guy tiptoeing around the ring like some kind of fairy? Also during this minor assault, Robert Main, in his only appearance on XWF television since he was violated by the vilest of villains in XWF history and then damn near disappeared, also performed his finisher on Unknown Soldier.

After this pussy little dancing synchronized swimming finishing maneuver, Robert Main looked as if he was moving Soldier's hand up and down trying to jack his own dick off with the aid of Soldier's lifeless hand. It has been reported by those who have the secret camera feed in Robert's sister's bedroom of Drew Archyle banging Kayla's asshole numerous times; that since Robert Main lost his Universal Championship belt, he has been alone in his room crying and masturbating nonstop while secretly peering in on their little sexcapade.

It is speculated that Robert Main may be suffering from PMS along with ‘tendinitis in both his elbows’ and the everyday general feeling of wanting to kill himself which is not entirely surprising given the nature of his silence. It may be in his best interests, rather than try to embarrass himself any further immensely at the hands of Unknown Soldier should he feel as if revenge is a possibility. So far, we have only one dying man's last breath that seems to think it's actually possible...."

Steve Jason Said:Robert Main will deal with Soldier.

"This uttered from his trembling body and trembling lips moments after his 666 hours-long battle for Best in Butt sex with The Brand which concluded with neither man climaxing, and then ended just how everyone in the old-timer Classic XWF's dreams imagine it does, with a make-out and snuggles session at the end of it. How fucking fitting for the greatest gayest of all time to whisper on his death bed his hopeful successor to rid the XWF of the seething Unknown Soldier. Little does he know, but SATAN! is not done tarnishing and tormenting the legacy that this legend lame-ass has made for himself here. If he thinks he can just sail off into The Undying Lands across the distant sea and into the land of Aman without being further humiliated then he is sadly mistaken.

Smearing the Universal title belt in feces is just the beginning of destroying the XWF Classic legacy here he so loves in the XWF. Did he really think that was all the Unknown Soldier was going to do? Ha! Well, then he better pay close attention to the rest of this promo and sees what mine MASTER! has got in store for him later on this evening, folks!

Jealousy runs rampant amongst the members of Apex Prophecy, as many begin to question whether the group can pull things back together and get the circle jerk back in business again! Many pointing fingers at the others and themselves and confused as to how this could have ever happened? Was it my fault? Was it his fault? What in the hell has Shane done now? All three of these questions they shouldn't be asking themselves, but rather, focusing on all the fucking fun and filth that is to come in the near future! SATAN! is here to stay my little sadomasochists and he will be the 'Face of Fear for all Forever'!"

The news reporter with the Max Headroom mask on checks his watch and then turns back to face the television audience again.

"Well folks, that's all the gay jokes we have for today! Tune in next week when we crucify Steve Jason through his colon as he continues to play the role of jesus christ in the next hit sequel to SATAN! vision. The pope has issued a procession of prayer for the entire world to join in, as fire and brimstone continue to rain down from the sky in an endless drove of burning red, along with black shadows of lurking fear hoving menacingly behind. He hopes that bringing everyone in the world together one last time in prayer will resurrect Steve Jason back again on easter sunday. We here at this station believe that the little bitch will remain in his tomb and will have six more months of slaughter and scat ahead of us! From all of us here at the SATAN! news network we say nighty night. Don't let the nightmare bugs bitey bite bite....."

He bites down so hard directly on top of his tongue while pronouncing the last word it slices in half. His sharp teeth are more like fangs with sharp knives sliding quickly right through the flesh. Blood squirts everywhere and splatters all over the background scene of static waves scrambling in the background. He starts laughing maniacally in a way that scars the soul due to it's slashing of the eardrums and penetrating power of its madness in one's consciousness. Meanwhile, half his severed tongue continues to flop around on top of his desk like a dead fish. Leaping up and down and all around knocking his stack of papers onto the floor before the scene can fizzle out with static and cut out completely....

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ 666 SATAN! VISION 666 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The feed cuts back to a normal newscasting screen with a normal news reporter who is an average looking black male in a purple and green suit and tie. The static and interrupted frequency is gone as he picks up continuing on from a speech that was previously interrupted by the signal that secreted itself into our normally scheduled programming.

"...and that my little mesmerized little morons are the ways Donald Trump is raping your newborn babies. Speaking of Nazi's, Brad Pitt has gone missing and did not appear at his recent blockbuster movie premiere for some long boring movie about outer space. When will Hollywood just give up and admit this guy hasn't been the same since Fight Club?! Maybe it will be around the same time the media finds something better to do than talk about his break up with Angelina Jolie. This sudden disappearance comes just weeks after the same sudden vanishing act performed by Johnny Depp and is causing many to wonder if the two instances are related. As both men were once upon a time seemingly good actors, but have drastically gone downhill in the present-day landscape leaving us all to wonder if they were really that good to begin with, or if they simply got lucky with a good director and a great script in the past."

The normal newscaster looks down at his watch and then looks back up at the television audience once again.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today folks! We hope you all have a great night... Ouch, shit I think I just bit my tongue"

A small stream of blood protrudes from out the left side of his lip.

"Wait a minute, how in the hell did I suddenly get into this ridiculous clown looking colored suit and tie? Where the hell am I....."

The normal newscaster falls onto his desk and begins having a full-blown heart attack right on top of it. A television crew begins to encircle him and come to his aid as a loud scream piercing the sky is heard and the camera drops to the ground. The last few seconds of footage is of the normal newscaster seizing on top of his desk grasping at the last final beats of his heart as his eyes roll into the back of his head.

(08-28-2019, 09:34 AM)TBS Said: "This is because guys like Omega and Soldier and Lux have been able to parade around completely oblivious to the fact that they're fucking lucky that I don't work anymore and after Saturday they're going to KNOW that they're lucky I don't fucking work anymore."

The sound of immense weeping and screams of absolute terror as if someone being tortured emancipate inside a dark room as a very boisterous high pitched and focused sounding voice overpowers the cries for help.

"SAY IT! SAY HIS FUCKING NAME THREE MORE TIMES!"

"P-p-p-p... please sir! I don't have a clue who your talking about. Just please don't hurt me!"

The loud snapping of an enormous whip cracking across bare skin and making a smacking sound so distinct that you can tell a piece of flesh came flailing off from the body it was once attached to.

"Say the name swine or it gets the hose again!"

After a minor whimper like from a sad dog, the pleading voice cries out.

"BIG SHANK! BIG SHANK! BIG SHANK!"

The lights come on to reveal that the two voices are coming from Unknown Soldier and Brad Pitt Cyren. Both of them completely naked but for a long and large horsewhip being held up high in the left hand of Unknown Soldier. Cyren's private parts are barely visible and just hang below the Universal title that is wrapped around his waist. His back is incredibly bruised and bloody as the back of Soldier's whip must have cracked across it more than 666 times. It looks almost as if he just got off a boat from Africa.

The two stand in front of a mirror as Soldier grips the back of Cyren's hair and shoves his face directly up close to the mirror inside this tiny little bathroom that looks to be in such filth and disarray that it may be located in some shitty gas station somewhere. He slams it back and forth as shards of glass shatter everywhere when Soldier finally puts enough force behind his slams to break the mirror. Soldier looks and sounds even more pissed off after flashing on the lights and not seeing what he had expected to see. Over his left eye is still the patch from his pirate costume that says 'Hate Me Now' on it.

Unknown Soldier: "There you have it XWF! James Raven has asked for the Classic era to end and so I have come here to kill it. I want you all to welcome my new manager slave Cyren, who will be accompanying me to the ring for the entirety of my XWF Universal Title reign. Wearing nothing but this title and dancing with his little jimmy boy peeking just beneath the title beneath his waist! You see my bloody and badass brethren, Big Shank was right about everything he said just the other day when he came out here to crack his little jokes and compare me to the likes of this loser."

The demon dicked dephiler grabs the back of Cyren's head and pulls his face from up out of the sink. It's bleeding profusely, but none the less the sick pervert grabs the back of his neck and forces his head down towards Soldier's crotch area and over his deformed demon dick. The same static and unwavering wavelengths that were blurring out the screen earlier in the feed is back and doing the same thing over Soldier's crotch area blurring out his private areas and Cyren's face. He reaches somewhere off camera and then grabs his pirate hat and places it back on his head.

Unknown Soldier: "You see, I am a fanny pirate! So if you want to go toe to toe on gay jokes then I'm fucking game all damned day as you can see from my little Max Headroom impersonation early in this promo!"

He nods to his nads and then tips his pirate cap at the camera.

Unknown Soldier: "I do worship SATAN! and Peter Gilmour and I are , but you know what else you were right about. I am the Universal Champion! Despite all your little jokes and cute little wisecracks, the only thing that I found remotely funny is when you thought that I was afraid of you?! HaHa! You are in fact the one whose lips let loose my name from your mouth first, and maybe Lux and Robert Main are a complete pair of pussies to not address it.

But, you're not going to get away with ME not pointing out this nice little lie you think you can conveniently claim to boost your recent comeback with a sense of confidence. After all, there must be a reason why you're much lower on the list like you bitched about with the likes of Centurion and Peter Gilmour than ME! :) Keep your name out of my mouth?! I'll shout that mother fucker from the mountain tops if I damn well please and there's nothing you will or can do about it!

Do me a favor the next time you come out here and respond and try to act tough with me again Shank, and maybe this time you'll get a little bit more serious rather than resort to jokes about a piss poor wrestler you beat years ago and his juggalo sidekick. You all got your giggles off of because he was a little different from you and your buddies long ago. Then you all cried foul and wondered why when he turned the XWF into a school shooting scene?!

I know your a smart Big Boy Shank, so you should be able to catch on to the symbolism I'm putting down in my last little scene here this evening with your former boogeyman from XWF's past. He is my bitch. Just the same as you. Just the same as Steve Jason, and just the same as Robert Main. Just the same as everyone. The next time you wake up from your nightly nightmares after realizing your mediocrity when compared to me and look in the mirror and face your demons holding you back. I want you to make your empty and idle threats directly into that mirror you so obviously want to make an analogy out of because that's the only person who even finds them invigorating staring back at you. Look into that mirror and keep talking yourself up and maybe you'll muster enough motivation to meet me in the ring, where I'll be happy to make a pile of mother fucking mush out of you!

I find it incredibly interesting that all these 'so-called' legends like Steve Jason and Big Shank want to take this 'holier than thou' approach by turning the other cheek and acting like that's some kind of way to go out and die with dignity when talking about how to handle little ol' me. Let's not forget when making that same metaphor that you are indeed already admitting that you have bent over for ME in the first place. We saw Steve Jason do it when I first called them all out. Everyone will always bend down before me and proclaim Hail SATAN! by the time it's all said and done whether it be in or out of the ring.

Oh, and someone should call Child Protective Services on Atticus Black for booking a match with me against Dolly Waters. That's all the fuck I have to say about that!"

(08-31-2019, 08:21 PM)drezdin5788 Said:
Be a man or be my bitch ass whole