Bearded War Pig is being recorded by a drone, he is standing on a train bridge that stands about thirty feet above the river. Only wearing a pair of red, white, and blue silkies. No shirt, no shoes, and no underwear. Pig holds his X-Treme Championship belt in the air with his right arm fully extended. His smile could cheer up an old ornery fuck or piss off any cocky asshole. With his free hand Pig throws up Boom Knucks before speaking to his people.

"Damn it feels good to be on top. First match back and I am already setting the standard around the XWF. Now my old bud Robbie and I will be taking on the Chaos Puffing Peters or whatever the Tag Champions are calling themselves. You know they are worried because the Motherfuckers don't play around. Probably why that fuckboy Peter Gilmour thought he was going to take my Championship belt that I won all on my own, not thanks to a partner carrying my War Dick for me. Even though Bourbon could for sure carry mine while his hacks through you two shit birds!

Seriously though being a veteran like Peter is, I would have thought he would have been more intelligent. Trying to put down B-W-Fuckin'-P with what is equivalent to Popeye's spinach!? Fuckin' dipshit. Peter must of missed the match where I claimed my crown as the King of X-treme because I withstood a hell of a lot more than being smacked by some delicious bacon. Ask Ghost Tank and Calypso, I'm damn near indestructible!

Both Chaos and Peter will find that out for themselves come Warfare when we are all locked in a Steel Fuckin' Cage. Have you ever witnessed a wild animal trapped in a cage? Well let me tell you using a live trap on predatorily animals is one hell of a rush. Throw some lesser animals in with it and well you're going to have a blood bath. Bourbon and Myself are more animalistic than the current Tag Champions.

The two of us where born to be free and we will escape that cage. Take ownership of the Tag Team Championship belts and begin a journey of bustin' asses all over the XWF. It's time the Motherfuckers make a hard and stern come back, starting with our Champions...

Surely it won't be the easiest of tasks but it for sure is one that will be for filled. Both of our opponents are too egotistical to not put up one hell of a fight. I know this, ya'll know this. It just doesn't change the fact they will soon be FUCK'D! Oh and it won't be the kind of fucking everyone wants, no, no, no! It will be the most brutal, ass gaping, forced shit eating, and nastiest fucking that the XWF has ever seen.

Warfare will be the day the Motherfucker's rise to the top of the mountain and well I plan on staying here a long fucking time. Why and how? The PEOPLE! Each and every single one of you who tunes in to watch the most exciting wrestling promotion in the Universe will be our tools to victory. Unlike our opponents Robbie and Myself know if it wasn't for ya'll there wouldn't be no XWF. Chris and Peter's reign would just be two dudes with cardboard cut out championship belts in their backyard with the only ones watching being their mothers. "

BWP looks to the left of the train bridge and then to the right, no train in sight. He has lowered his championship belt on his left shoulder. Both ends of the belt flutter in the wind. Kind of like the team of Chaos and Gilmour. Honestly do they mesh like Bourbon and Pig? Please. BWP then lifts his Xtreme Championship that already three different superstars failed to take from him. Removing the belt from his Machine Gun Bunker like traps he flicks his wrist and releases his grip. The Belt goes flying like a seagull until it splashes into the river below the train bridge. Kind of like the turd of tag champions dropping into a toilet bowl, I am talking current not the soon to be.

Pig then steps forward and flips backwards. With enough force to clear the bridge and nail a backflip dive that would make Olympic Divers wish they had the technique that he displays. His body crashes into the cold water of the Muskegon River in Temple, Michigan like a asteroid colliding into earth. Feeling completely free from the second his toes left the railroad ties until his head emerges from the water with a deep breath from plummeting probably twenty feet or deeper. His arms begin to extend and detract back toward his body breaking the water with perfect breast stroke strides. Until he reaches the small sand bar a little deeper than ankles.

Standing on the sand bar Pig Smiles and stretches, letting out a roar like a grizzly fending it's land. Before turning to the drone with a depraved smile.

"Oh shit I lost my title. Bwarhahahaha! Seriously right now is for Peter! You thought you would take my title... Yet the river was more action than your words. You should have just stayed in your fucking lane bro! Now inside that cage before I escape I will treat you like the very title *Pig Makes Quotation Marks With His Hands* that you delusional thought you would take from me. Because you have no value, just like the belt, do you think I gave a fuck about ribbons and shit someone was in charge of handing out? Fuck no, I know what the fuck I did. I damn sure know I am more Xtreme than you.

Wait we are fighting for your titles main event my first Warfare back. So after already proving I am more extreme than you, Robbie and I will show you how a real team sticks together through thick or thin. No matter what! So you just keeping blowing smoke up Chaos' and your self's asses. It won't change the reflection of reality even if you bring some mirrors. What reality you ask? The Motherfuckin' Reality! Ya'll MotherFuckers know how we get down in a cage! *Pig winks to his god's the XWF Fans* Peter you might not understand the depths of American Gangster I am about to reveal on your white lumpy butt! *Pig says in his most notorious gangster voice* When I knock you the fuck out and escape from the cage with my brother Robbie Motherfuckin' Bourbon, we'll make sure to drape your beloved Tag Titles over your lifeless body.

Hell you two fucksticks can keep those belts, because honestly we'd need something a little more badass! Plus we don't want the stench of bitch all over our blang, blang! Just Joshin' yah. Call me funny like Loki but strong like Goku, Peter is lil bunny foo foo! BOOM!"

Pig begins to walk off the sand bar into the nastiest leech infested black muck almost collar bone deep. Toward a thick Northern Michigan forest before crossing the six foot wide murky water to land he turns back around.

"Don't worry Christopher the Hog's will continue to roost your way, Oink, Oink Motherfuckers!"

~Fuck outta here~ (Scene Fades)