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**Dolly Waters** · (10-21-2016)

"I HEAR A TUNDAR IN DA DISTUNCE, SEE BA VISION OF A CROSS; I FEEL DA PAIN DAT WAS GIVEON OWN A SAD DAY OF LOHSS. I CREATED MY OWN PRISSOHN!"

-Scott Stapp

The scene opens to find our hero, the magnificent, ever stunning, ever powerful Dolly Waters standing alongside a riverbank skipping stones as a chillingly brisk mid fall breeze rips through the air, sending the Great One’s hair, and her tight little black skirt dress ripping to her right. She doesn’t mind the cold though; our hero isn’t a little bitch who complains about shit like that, not to mention it’s better than being in boot camp, right?

The scene now quietly cuts to an angle of our hero standing in-between a poor injured young fawn lying on the ground, and a big ass nasty grizzly bear, the Nature Girl has her arm out and hand opened toward the bear stopping him from attacking the poor fawn.

Now an angle of our embattled, inspirational young Dolly Waters, champion of all worldly things, roasting an unidentified meat of some sorts on a wooden rotisserie above a campfire.

Again the scene cuts to a new angle, now our Dolly Waters is mounted on the bear’s back, chewing on a slab of the cooked meat while reading Daniel Quinn’s: “Ishmael”, she doesn’t take her eyes away from the book as she reaches down and allows the bear a plentiful share of the meat. The bear swims Dolly across the river toward the greener shores in hopes that she’ll find some new stones for skipping.

The camera now pans to Dolly’s face as she turns away from the greener side of the river where she's now standing and looks directly into the lens:

Hello Makaveli…

How are things; facing any rouge jail time lately? Any outstanding arrest warrants? Just curious and all seeing has you’ve done diddly-squat this week in terms of preparing for our match, a match in which I plan to show you every room of Dolly’s Play House (aka Saturday Savage), and lay to rest, once and for all, this idea that you’re somehow talented, or that you somehow ever deserved a crack at my title.

But isn’t that what happened before you went to prison for, what was it? Two? Three months? Never really heard of a two or three month prison sentence, what did you roll on your homies? Rat them out because you’re a little bitch who couldn’t handle his time on the inside? But that’s what happened just before you went in right? You started fucking around, putting forth less effort than even the likes of Nico Levay and Ghost Tank, dropping your title to a sure fire homosexual and leaving Gilly forced to replace his stereotypical African American tag partner, with a stereotypical Irish tag partner.

I see people like you around these parts all of the fucking time… underserving fucks who for maybe a moment exercised an STD infested muse, doing a thing, maybe even two things, really great on the mic, management think’s they’ve found the next big thing and then they shitfully squander every golden plated opportunity they’re handed.

It’s pathetic…

The Bitch Said:I am asking myself the question; Who the hell did I piss off to even be placed in this match with you?

In case anyone missed it, Makaroni is pointing out just how upset he is that he is being fed to little ol’ me; you see he knew the moment he looked at the card that it would be the guarantee of his utter destruction and humiliation. I mean how are you gunna’ so easily tell ya’ partnas’ that you had your black ass handed to you by a twelve year old girl, SO BAD that Black Lives Matters had to stage a protest outside of Rupp Arena on your behalf? They’re gunna’ laugh in your mutilated face… but don’t feel bad baby doll, you aint the only one who’s felt this, and you won’t be the last; plus I hear that spending the rest of your life eating through a straw isn’t so bad for queers, a lot of sucking, a lot of warm liquidity substances in your mouth. You should feel right at home.

So after Wednesday my friend, you will touting a 1-2 record since your return, man that’s really impressive. Taking that into consideration, how about you never fucking speak again until you decide to put in some real work, how about you never claim to be better than ANYONE other than Promo Sins, let alone Dolly fuckin’ Waters until you stop being a cock sucking sorry excuse for a felon who only does two months of prison time.

You won your first title a little over a month after your debut, that’s kinda’ neat I guess, and by most normal standards fairly impressive; but the standards are anything but normal when facing off with someone as despicable, someone as dangerous, someone as destructive as Dolly Waters. You know how long it took me to win my first title?

ONE FUCKING MATCH…

MY FIRST FUCKING MATCH…

And in said fucking match, I defeated Chris Chaos along with a slew of shit sucking nobodies, but indeed the same Chris Chaos who just defeated Doctor D’Ville last Wednesday Warfare. So the next time you say something as

as:

Delusional Bitch Said:My goals are set a lot higher than your television championship there sweetheart.

…be mindful that I am the goal, I am the fucking standard, and as much as it hurts for me to break it to you; you’re nowhere near to par with me on my worst day, sweetheart.

Dolly picks up a bulbous looking stone and slings it toward the river. It makes a skip or two before inevitably plummeting into the depths of the watery abyss.

There are so many rocks around this place. The most of which are gaudily covered with rough craterous, imperfect features, and as they’re slung out into the greatest journey they’ll ever face, they may make a hit or two, here and there; but they all eventually fail on their path, leaving behind nothing memorable for the great specters to ponder. They’re soon forgotten as another is reached for and slung out into it’s certain demise.

Dolly grabs another stone, slinging into the river, even lofting it out a bit further this time, but again the result is nil, as this one skips maybe three times before succumbing to it's natural fate.

A dime a dozen and they just come and go, like a fart in the wind, and you’re no exception Makaveli.

I find solace out here in the wilderness where nothing exists aside the unpolluted truth of our Mother Nature. But you? You find solace in all things disgusting and deplorable, as you so rambunctiously pointed out in your benign, baby back little rant about how I am somehow less of a person than you because I’m a virgin, and because I don’t drink alcohol or take drugs…

…sigh…

I sit here and I examine the great Grizzly Bear, the ruler of the forest, who’s conquering is the summit that all creatures aspire to reach. It naturally doesn’t spare the injured fawn, it dismantles the weak, and it swallows them whole and doesn’t think twice. I have handed you the utmost unique opportunity Makaveli, because rather than just letting this league crush you, and end you as it so naturally would, I have agreed to slow cook you, letting your smidge of relevance be known for fifteen minutes; and paying respect to the great Federation, I will share the fruits of what you yield with the entire XWF Galaxy. It won’t be pretty by any stretch of the imagination, there will be blood, and I WILL feast, but at least you’ll have gone out respectably, and it’s to me you owe the thanks.

Just think, your career could have concluded with a loss to Ophelia McGay, at least now your tail tucking ways will be cemented with the name of a great warrior like Dolly Waters.

Dolly picks up another stone and slings it, its fate the same as its two predecessors. So she picks up another, laughing now, it falls as well. Quickly she grabs another, and another, a growl to her laugh as she cackles on maniacally; slinging rock, after rock, after rock… they all fail.

Well congratulations Makaveli… you’re the new Maverick! I’m not sure I can properly express just how amazingly inept you are; and it’s sad really because even I for a brief moment believed I would finally be faced with a challenge, but a simple turn through the pages of the XWF’s Worst Champions in History corrected that. I guess you’ve concluded that being manhandled by a twelve year old girl will somehow better prepare you for Trax. You’re everything that’s wrong with the XWF and I’m going to purge you from its ranks you whiney little bitch:

The newly crowned shitter of all Title Shitters Said:I also have no idea why you are wasting YOUR time and everyone else's be even PRETENDING that you have a place among us.

A place among whom? With whom are you in legion? The no-showing

ass title shitters like Maverick, Ophelia and Dillinger? Would you please give me a break, and stop trying to lump yourself in proxy with the mildly talented that actually do exist in the XWF?

YOU SUCK!

No euphemisms.

No sugarcoating for your shit sandwich, boy.

You’re terrible, and I didn’t even have to do anything to prove that claim, you cut your own dick off in front of the entire world.

Prison bitch Said:I may talk about me going to prison.

Yeah, you do… All of the fucking time.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Said:I may talk about my rough childhood.

Again, like a broken Tupac record.

DUM DUM DUUUUM!!! Said:Really, which one of us doesn't?

Dolly raises her hand.

I don’t, because there’s a difference between explaining a past situation, and making fucking excuses as to why you stunk shit up and failed your tag team partner. So shut the fuck up and let it sink in, slowly as it may through your dense fucking skull that you’re nowhere near the top of the heap here, and you never were, pussyboi. You wanted me to take a journey through your ILL mind? So I did, and found it to be unsurprisingly shallow, complete with a convoluted identity and sexuality, borderline pederastry, ripe with overused insults and fantasy.

You’re just another one of these one hit wonders around here, all rough and rigid, consumed with flaw, you never had a chance of conquering the Waters.

Dolly reaches down now and snatches another stone. It’s perfect…

But every now and again one will stumble upon a rock that is atypical. It’s well rounded, and smooth, maybe a chink here or there, but only ones necessary for its makeup that makes it possible to do the improbable. These are the traits that you do not now, nor ever will possess, Maky-Boo.

Dolly slings the stone out into the river. Majestically it skips across, without fail, hit after hit until it reaches the other side of the river bank, even skipping on the ground a few times before it finally rests.

Mother Nature has spoken, Makaveli, and her most perfect creation ever is going to take you to the fucking woodshed Saturday, and beat you within an inch of your life. You're just a directionless, know nothing piece of garbage who airs

quotes in the beginning of his promos as if to appear to have a deeper side to his stereotype, pissing in the wind and wondering why nobody takes him seriously.

A renowned Japanese architect once said: “designs of purely arbitrary nature cannot be expected to last long.” Your entire getup is arbitrary, just like your decision to return to a Dolly Waters controlled XWF.

Tootles,

.

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