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Unknown Soldier · (06-03-2016)

“Innocence crafts its own demise.”

― F.T. McKinstry, Crowharrow

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I'm not as innocent as everyone insinuates, nor am I as put together of a complete sounding mind as I've led them all to believe. I'm not insane by any means, maybe just a little deranged in my craving for attention of the negative variety. I'd instead rather focus on the functioning of my brain power away from cognitive processing and move it towards the subject matter that is immediately consuming my thoughts. That of course being, the matter of my intelligence and knowledge and how it brought me to where I am today. Sure, I was mentally attune enough to coast my way through high school with superb grades, but honestly, that was really just a cake walk as long as you showed up for class. My parents used to always brag to the rest of the world about how smart I was and it gave me a sense of entitlement, to which I probably look back on as sheer over eccentric thinking on my behalf.

There was nothing out of the ordinary or unique about going through the same procedure of ninety-five percent of the rest of my practically prep school peers that graduated with me. Yet here I am, just like the rest of these sheep flocking with the herd, at the exact same fucking state college with the exact same schedule, with nearly the exact same classmates; albeit a few Asian foreigners. Through their eyes they think we're all the same. The only difference is those same parents are no longer hovering over my shoulder and protecting this thing called my 'innocence' any longer. I am now, oh, how do you phrase it? A woman who is finally free to make her own mistakes.

My first weekend away from home is going to be a litany of sins that my parents would probably disown me for, but like I stated previously, that type of attention is exactly the kind I was purposely trying to get. The more they told me throughout my life not to do something, it only invigorated me to disobey them even further. To push the limits of their boundaries in order to get them to go through a vicious cycle of love and hate; driving them absolutely nuts, all the while I'm living in an orgasm of attention from both parents and getting it in many different avenues. The good and the bad. While I prefer the bad; quite frankly, I'll still take anything I can get. Forgive and then forget was their motto; because that's what the good book taught, and what I had to accept back then for the time being. All the while waiting patiently, until this very day, when I could forsake them without them even knowing.

My first thoughts were to find a giant fraternity party and let things lead an attractive young woman; such as myself, down the road of an almost certain night where I could check numerous sins of debauchery off my naughty list. This would be at least a start, although my thirst for a much more unfavorable type of attention would require much, much more revelry. My cell phone begins to inform me deep within my jean shorts that it requires an answer. My favorite Rascal Flatts song lights up the sound of my near surroundings immediately after pulling the phone from my pocket, then gripping it tightly so that I can balance it's vibrating weight in my hands as to not drop it. I'm disgruntled to notice after viewing the phone's notifications that nobody is actually seeking me out, and that it's just another stupid fucking Amber Alert!

How many more of these are we going to get this week? Seriously, what kind of moron would fall into the hands of the boogeyman, it's like they almost deserve it. Waste of my time that's for sure, and only a way to stir up my hope that my ride will arrive sooner rather than later. Tonight, I repudiate not only my family name by shaming it at a drunken college party; but in time, I will disgrace their religion as well. The source of their profound positive lifestyle. I must eradicate any residue of forced prayers they insisted upon that may still be lingering upon my soul. No savior of theirs has ever done anything good for me and thus why I rebuke it. Total and complete freedom for me now and it's been eighteen long years well overdue. Total separation from the lifestyle that held me back from exploring my dark and erotic fantasies of negative energy.

If only my ride would arrive, then I could begin my embarking on this quest. What in the hell could possibly be taking her so long? She was already attending the raging party herself when I called her less than thirty minutes ago. The party was just up over the hillside across the highway, not even ten minutes away. My patience was weighing thin, so much so that I have no clue what compelled me to perform my next action, but somewhere deep inside of my mind I subconsciously felt the urge to inquire random strangers for a means of transportation to my desperately seeking destination. I stuck my thumb out towards the direction for which I would be traveling, and to my surprise the very first passing vehicle promptly pulled over.

I have to admit, my party going attire was a bit revealing and probably induced the thought I might be out working the corner. Lucky for me I guess, as it enticed a large white van with a strapping young gentlemen inside to pull over and assist me with a ride. The fact that he was cute definitely helped overshadow the fact he was driving the quintessential rape wagon. None the less, I thought I would break the ice by interrogating him a bit about his choice in vehicle and seeing if he had the same quirky type of humor as myself.

Prey: "Hey, thanks for pulling over and giving me a ride. God bless you! What's with the fucking rape van though, you're not some kind of psycho rapist murderer or something... Are ya?"

Predator: "HA! Hell naw' sweetheart, I'm a stage hand and I just got back from a gig. I drive the bands equipment around while their on tour. Hop on in beautiful and let's get you out of that cold."

Prey: "Thanks, you're such a gentleman. Hey! Is this Rascal Flatts on the radio? You should turn this fuckin' countray' swang up!"

Predator: "Haha! You got it babe. Say, where you heading anyways?"

Prey: "If you take a right at the next light, then you'll be able to take your next immediate right to get on a ramp. I'm just a couple miles down the highway after that..."

His answer seemed logical and with no hesitation or sense of disloyalty in his voice, so I entered the van with eagerness as I was anxious to get to the party. I couldn't wait to give that bitch who left me waiting out in the cold a piece of my mind. I wanted to impress the handsome and generous young man giving me the ride, so I suppressed this anger and instead flaunted a more flirtatious type of behavior towards him as we pulled onto the ramp heading towards the highway. The start of my journey towards my yearning for absolute freedom, and especially in my new ability to indulge in life's long laundry list of sin.

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