raYne and company,

Please take this as my little dose of sober honesty (and trust me, I need to get downtown stat to imbibe and watch my Mountaineers get their arses handed to them by Oklahoma, so I'm going to make this quick and wipe my hands clean of all of this). Here's the problem that I, and I believe everyone else has with raYne: he's becoming bigger than this fed. What started as just some excessive posting is becoming all encompassing. You can't even scroll through ONE recent thread without seeing a long raYne post, accompanied by his huge ass signature. I've seen that motherfucking Jeff Hardy pose at least 100 times in like two days.

raYne, as I've mentioned previously, I don't think you're a bad dude, I simply think you're a bit obsessive and have too much time on your hands. You've literally posted over 200 times in a few days, and it's probably bordering 300 when you factor in what you deleted. And here's the thing: that excessive posting and commenting, and pictures, and excessive text, and YouTube videos (oh, the YouTube videos), have all made me associate the XWF, a fed that I've been with for four months now, with you. Not with...

John Madison
Luca Arzegotti
Eli James
Paul Heyman
Sebastian Duke
Mr. Supernova (I fucking hate that you changed your name from Mr. Satellite)
Stevie Tyler
Peter Gilmour
The Feder jerkoffs
Callaway
Diaz

or any of the other folks who have kicked ass here and RP'd with some fantastic, fantastic stuff. No, I associate this fed... with you. And I think that's the problem everyone else is having. It's too much, too fast. It's the reason, from what I've seen from doing some internet browsing today, that you were kicked off of other feds. You're ruining the escape. You're making this about you.

And that's why it has to stop. I like seeing comments from many of our awesome folks here, but I don't like seeing them on EVERY thread. I'd personally hunt down Nova if he showed up on every effing thread. I came close to jumping off of a building after seeing Sweety Petey's name all over the board, and even HE'S taken a hiatus.

raYne, we're burned out. I struggle to even log on and read posts from people because I KNOW that I'll get some rambling text with a bunch of colons, semicolons, and other assorted punctuation, with a YouTube video thrown in and a big picture of raYne plastered on there AT LEAST five times. And here's the solution:

Please, PLEASE log off for a little bit. Don't post so much. Take a break. Just let us breathe. If you let us do that, then when you come back, we'll probably accept you. Hell, the turnover on here can be pretty quick at times, so a lot of people won't even know who you are. But damn it, man, please take like a two week hiatus and just let us do our thing.

Then maybe, just maybe:

Santos can smile for you.

Over and out.

September 2013 and May 2019 Star of the Month
1x Hart Champion
1x Television Champion
1x Xtreme Champion

*Clap, Clap, Clap* Tony Santos *Clap, Clap, Clap*

Tony deserves a Tony

Tony deserves a trip to the bar. Then again, he'd go if he deserved that or not.

I have no life.

Alex was honestly right.

This IS my escape.

From having no friends, no relationship, no... anything.

I'm hoping to move to Nebraska... but the money still hasn't come in... I keep asking my godmom about it, but she says there's no way to tell.

But... if it does, I Believe things will change.

But here... in this small, redneck-infested, Oklahoman town I've lived in since the day I was born... there is nobody here that can relate to me. They all look down on me because of the way I dress. Because they're Southerners... and well, you know. They don't cotton tah no sissy boys 'round these here parts *spits gum into imaginary spitoon*

I literally only have my mom and godmom... and they're no help [and i don't mean as parents, but as friends... we are constantly arguing, and they argue with eachother all the time... they're there for me... but i need more. that's why i'm moving]. And the only place to work here is either a bank or in fast food... I used to work at the library... but I was fired. Because... guess what? I refused to take a break.

That's why I stay up for two to three days at a time. That's why I never take my meds as I should. That's why I was in the hospital last December after fainting for the first time... from malnutrition and dehydration. And why I went from 290 lbs. to what iAm now-- around 150.

I don't take breaks. Ever.

And honestly... when I do? All I have to do is walk to the park and listen to my mp3 player. It's fun and gets my mind off of things... but I don't want to do that every day until the move [if it happens].

I want to write. That's why I returned to e-fedding. And I know it hasn't seemed like it... but today, I've honestly tried to make strides toward dropping the personal stuff, by trying to tie things up and moving forward.

I'm about to change my 'Post You' thread into a promise... that I'm going to drop all of this b.s. and focus on myself.

And proving something... mostly to myself.

I understand what you mean... but I have no one to talk to in real life. And that's why I try to have friends here... or any place I go online... and why i talk so damned much... because for the most part, my only friends have been "internet friends". My longest running friend, Sean O'Connor, who was the owner of the first fed I was in back around 2001... he lives in Britain. And alwas has.

I need to be able to talk to people. And I don't mean to a counselor... I've been in ten mental clinics, countless one on one therapists, and three groups... I don't need that. I need a friend. Even if they're online.

But... I am going to try and keep myself from posting personal topics. I honestly am.



~ ! ~

EDiT: Decided to post this here, since it's already here, and there's no point in my making yet another thread --

=======
#reLOAD
=======

Ok... I decided to "take over" my own thread... so I can ask for one thing.

A fresh start.

I promise... to all of you, as well as myself... that iAm re-focusing myself as of this moment.

I'm tired of how things have been going... not just here, but in general, for the past few years... and I'm ready for a change.

If you give me this chance... I promise you, you will not regret it.

I do, however ask, that if I run into some minor error, that I don't have a Seven Nation Army rasping down upon my back... for example, my Nova thread. Tony and John had a wonderful attitude, and that's what I respect, and will adhere to. I do not react well to anything I feel is negative... because it just makes me more negative. But Cam did have the right suggestion, though he put it just a tad harshly... he said I should have pm'ed Nova. If I do something wrong, but it really shouldn't be seen as that big of a deal, let me know, and I'll handle it.

... well, other than the whole "cutting down my work" or "changing my character" thing. If one of the management sees an issue with the length of my writing or the fact iAm literally my character? Then I'll heed that advice, and do what I must. But otherwise... I write how I write. And iAm who iAm. All there is to it.

But for the most part... on many fronts... I do need to change. Drastically. And iAm. Give me the opportunity to do so... and I will not dissapoint.

I have too much at stake to allow myself to do so this time...

Thank you. All of you.

~ $hane



"When you make a promise to yourself?
You have to keep it -- no matter what."






p.s -- since tony-tone mentioned it... i'm about to cut down the size of my sig pic.

tony... thank you for being you. you're wonderful.

The Storm shines down upon you.


... though... that wouldn't exactly work as a metaphor, as storms don't... actually... shine...

... YOU GET THE POiNT.


<3

rayne:
Im not reading all that mess. Its simple: One more stupid ass post and its a permanent hiatus for you. And I don't care if you do it because you forgot your meds. Think about the shit youre writing before you post it.

thats all
thread closed!