The Executive Office doors open…

”Come forth, Marcus.”

The Beast shuffles in! He spreads a map over the conference table.

RECORD PROFITS™sits, back to the table, texting…

A black box directly behind him.

”Mmm.”

”We’ve hunted for Clinton, that sniveling worm, through the Northeast and Southeast quadrants.” The Beast’s hands gently glide across the map.

”Gather our Flynns to sweep west? And the rat will be caught.”

”Mmmmmmm.”

”So.” The Beast snaps his fingers. ”Quickly. Utilize your communication lines! Trap our prey!”

…

”Uh…” RECORD PROFITS™ lifts a finger without losing a modicum of speed typing one-handed. ”Just… ooooooone second…”

”Sloth! Wretch!” Beast sneers impatiently. ”How long would disseminating orders take when your medium-of-choice rests in your ha-...”

That moment, the black box catches Beast’s eye.

A Blackberry.

…RECORD PROFITS™’s Blackberry, to be precise.

His preferred communication tool.

…

”Where is it, Marcus?”

”Uh…” RECORD PROFITS™ sniffs. ”Where’s what?

Beast’s eyes sweep the room…

Where the Flynns left Clinton’s phone.

The one Clinton used to control Flynn.

”The device, Marcus?!?” The Beast spits.

RECORD PROFITS™ doesn’t turn around… Continuing to type.

”What…”

A typing spurt.

“Device?”

…Beast sidesteps around RECORD PROFITS™ to spy his screen.

In a flash, RECORD PROFITS™ half-circle-swivels his chair.

…

Beast circle-steps again!

With masterful timing, RECORD PROFITS™ spins, obfuscating The Beast’s vision.

…

Beast snorts angrily…

…Then, he eyes RECORD PROFITS™’s Blackberry.

…Beast grins sinisterly.

”Hmm…” Beast scoops RECORD PROFITS™’s Blackberry off the table. ”Perhaps I should send the text to our fellow Flynns for you, Marcus?” The Beast smiles sadistically, leaning against the table, pressing his thumbs against the Blackberry’s keyboard. ”What is your password?”

…

RECORD PROFITS™’s ears perk at the trademark clickety-clack of his Blackberry keyboard.

…

”Pfff.” RECORD PROFITS™ scoffs. ”Like I’d tell YOU my pas-”

UNLOCKED

RECORD PROFITS™’s head spins ‘round like a goddamned barn owl as Beast slides open the Blackberry.

”We’ve utilized the same password since we were FIFTEEN, dear Marcus.” Beast winks. ”Now, which of these infernal buttons deletes our Twitt-”

SWIP!

RECORD PROFITS™ zips up to grab the Blackberry!

Beast clings tightly!

The two Flynns wrestle, jockeying for Blackberry control…

…And Beast spots it!

RECORD PROFITS™ has Clinton’s phone!

He’s been controlling Flynn!

”TREACHER-”

Swip! RECORD PROFITS™’s hands zip The Beast’s mouth!

---

Directly outside, the Whore-for-Gold’s head lifts out of a trashcan, hearing some commotion!

…He looks left…

Right…

…

Before dumping his head back in the can.

”Find Lawyerman… Take his belt…”

---

RECORD PROFITS™ has Beast in a mounted position!

Beast backward-rolls to create space!

…But RECORD PROFITS™ slides forward and catches Beast by his waist, forcing him facedown on the carpet!

”BEAST! SHHHHHHHUT UP!” RECORD PROFITS™ HISSES.

”Betra-mffffff! Trea-mfffffff!” The Beast squirms, screeching accusations, but RECORD PROFITS™ keeps anticipating and covering!

”Shhhhhhhh!” RECORD PROFITS™ desperately hushes, glancing to make sure no one is coming. “JUST…. SHUDDUP, YOU IDIOT AND I’LL CUT YOU IN!”

…

The Beast stops struggling.

”In what?”

RECORD PROFITS™ exhales.

”I’ve… temporarily taken control of Flynn.” RECORD PROFITS™ waves Clinton’s phone in The Beast’s face. ”TEMPORARILY… (for now.)”

”Free-Win Marcus’s instructions were clear.” The Beast chides. ”The device shall remain untouched until Clinton is exorcised from Flynn’s subconscious.”

”Puh-LEASE.” RECORD PROFITS™ rolls his eyes. ”Why the Hell are we following orders from that LOSER, anyway? Free-Win LOST his briefcase!” RECORD PROFITS™ sticks a thumb in his chest. ”I’M the Mark Flynn that won the Uni! And ushered RECORD PROFITS™! I’M THE FLYNN!”

The Beast sneers angrily. ”How dare you! I am the Flynn that finally ended Tristan Slater’s tyrannical reign! Humiliating him in a fair fight! I am as Flynn as you!”

…


RECORD PROFITS™ grins.

”Ex-ZACTLY.” RECORD PROFITS™ taps his nose. ”We’re BOTH real Flynns… Cuz we struck… When the time was right.”

”There’s less than two months until Flynn’s briefcase expires.”

…

”There’s no time to let the Flynn that LOST our last briefcase to lose this one, too.”

RECORD PROFITS™ dangles the phone before Beast’s eyes.

”It’s up to us, Beastie-Poo.”

“Time is money… And there’s gold to made…”

…The Beast eyes it skeptically.

…Then… Intrigued.

…

The Beast takes the phone.

”We will exert limited control.” The Beast spits. ”Only to meet this… time-sensitive issue.”

”Sure, Roget’s Thesaurus.” RECORD PROFITS™ raises his hands acquiescently. ”And in the spirit of time-sensitivity…”

”Let’s attack NOW!”

---

Presenting…

ANAR-COUNTRY: A MONUMENT TO MEDIOCRITY!

An entire theme park themed around ThursdayNightAnarchy!

Take the Kids Swimming in the XWF’s Kiddie Pool!

They’ll say “It’s a Small Pond After All!”

Visit The Hall of Disappointing Anarchy Champions!

See animatronic versions of the absolute CLOWNS that slipped ass-backwards into Anarchy gold!

Daniela-Raye Weathers: I only won two matches in my career.

Unknown Soldier: I haven’t been good since 2014.

Elijah Martin: I lifted promos from CliffNotes of Chris Chaos promos. And I reigned for four months.

BUMPER CARS!

Witness lackluster talent get bumped into title matches because… there’s just nobody else to compete!

A Latoya-Hixx-looking eight-year-old girl gets her car bumped by a Razor-Blade-looking kid.

She hits a wall. And the wall lights up!

ANARCHY TITLE #1 CONTENDER!

The kids woo!

HAUNTED ARENA

Don’t forget to visit the ghosts of Anarchy!

The embarrassing nobodies whose careers will never leave Anarchy!

(Because they aren’t welcome anywhere with standards!)

See the gravestones of…

MeFisto!

Cock Puncher!

Bubbles from the Wire!

…And…

This last Gravestone?

SEAN PARKER!

Staying right where he belongs.

On Anarchy.

Underneath my boot.

...

So, stay here, Sean.

Stay in Anar-Country... Far away from the talented parts of the roster.

Ride all the rides.

Eat nothing but cotton candy until you get a tummy ache.

Stay comfy in your kiddie pool, Sean.

Don't swim out to the ocean.

Cuz out there?

There are monsters.

Looking to feed.