When we last left our heroes!


The Atomic Bat and Blue Tango received an urgent call from AB's side-chick Harlot, who they had recently sent out to investigate the ruins of the Heroes Guild after the attack by the super-evil big bad, Doomsayer.


When they reached the warehouse that the coordinates led them to, Harlot was indeed waiting there for them…


But she wasn't alone!


From around the corner walked one of their archest of nemeses, the Smoker!


The heroes managed to hold back and see what Harlot had planned in bringing them all there. 


Hearing Smoker out, they were told some dreadfully dire news…


"Help? Why should we trust you, Smoker?"

"Yeah, what's your game? We've had enough of your tricks to last a lifetime!"

The Smoker raised his hands, his tone surprisingly earnest.

*COUGH!* *HACK!*

"I sense your doubt, but hear me out…."

Smoker opened up the sleeves to his filthy, smoke-stained, suit jacket.

"As you can see, I have nothing up my sleeves!  Nothing behind my back!  This is no mere trickery. Oh no, I simply possess the juiciest secrets about that wretched Doomsayer, and believe me, I have every damn reason to desire his downfall, too!  Meh heh heh! *COUGH!*"

Atomic Bat and Blue Tango exchanged wary glances.

Reluctantly, Atomic Bat relaxed her guard slightly. "Alright, Smoker. Talk."

Smoker nodded with a wide smile.

*COUGH!* *HACK!*

"Doomsayer has been lurking in the shadows for years, but guess what? I've peeled back the layers and exposed his true identity and his oh-so-grand plan. Oh no, he's not your run-of-the-mill supervillain.  He's cooking something up alright!  Oh yes!"

Smoker fumbled around in his pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes to light another one up after one that he just threw out.

"Well?  What's he cooking up?!".

"Well?  Well, he took out all of my fellow baddies, right?!"

"Yeah."

"And he took out all your fellow GOODIES, right?!"

"Get on with it."

"I am!  He took out everyone so that there's no one left to stop him, but he had some cracks in his plans because we're still breathin'!"  *COUGH!* *HACK!* *WHEEEZ!*  "Right?  RIGHT?!"

Atomic Bat was taken back a bit by what Smoker just said.  Doomsayer obviously hit the nightclub and the Heroes Guild the way he did because he knew that he could take out the most at once.  Was it just a coincidence that they weren't there at the time of the attack?  Smoker got out, but Tango survived the encounter, too.  Was it luck??  Bat got frustrated again as Smoker continued to steer the conversation wayward.

"What's his plan, Smoker?!"

Smoker oversold a jump scare and backhanded Tango on the chest with a chuckle, and Tango annoyingly swatted his hand away.

"She's an impatient one, isn't she?  Heheheeehhhhhh"  *COUGH!*  "He gets his power from an amulet that he keeps locked up around his thick, fat, frickin' neck.  It enhances everything about him!  His strength!  His agility!  His intelligence!  His greed!  His hunger for more power!  All that crap……  Which makes him not only a pretty big jerk…  but a pretty unstoppable jerk, too!"

"His next move?"

"With no one else to stop him, he's gonna give our world a total reset."

"Uhh..  A 'reset'?"

"Reset!  Erase!  Total annihilation, Tango!  What all super big bads like him want!"

"Why help us?"

Atomic Bat asked quietly.  She knew the answer.  She knew that Smoker was most likely taking his own best option in the situation.

"Right… well…  He has these weird smoking policies when he takes over a planet that I'm just not on board with.."

Both Tango and AB looked at each other.

"That was a joke.  HEHHHHHHH…." *COUGH!*  *HACK!*  "But seriously!"  *COUGH!*  "He cramps my style!  Kinda like you two, but with more of an 'I'll destroy your planet' style, ya know?"

"It sounds like we're going to be helping you as much as you're helping us."

"Don't think that we're going to go and do your dirty work, Smoker!  That's not what we're about!"

"Hey–"  *COUGH!*  "I'm not looking forward to this either, Batso!"

Tango snorted and covered it up.

"I don't wanna work with you as much as you don't wanna work with me.  BUT!  A common goal is a common goal!  The enemy of my enemy, right?!"  *COUGH!*  "RIGHT?!"





Our heroes found themselves in a predicament that they never once ever thought they would be in; working with the enemy.  Smoker was their only source, so they didn't have a choice.  After their meeting at the warehouse, the last standing heroes and villain went their separate ways.

Feeling helpless in a way, the heroes returned to their HQ.  Blue Tango remained frustrated about the situation, but the Atomic Bat was able to keep her head in the game and knew that their hands were basically tied.  They had no clue where Doomsayer was hiding out and even if they did, after what he did to the Heroes Guild and the rest of the baddies, are they even ready to face him?

As the Doomsayer threat looms over them, another threat has risen in a world separate from this one.  They've been tasked with defending their recently won XWF Tag Team Championships for the first time.  With the weight and fate of both of their worlds on their shoulders, they sat together expressing their thoughts on the upcoming match. 

“Soon, Blue Tango and myself will find ourselves defending our championships against the “Guardians Protection Services”, Jay Omega and Alex Richard's, or should I say, The Omega Man and Doctor Confuso? Or at least that's what I think your names are. Frankly, I have about as much clarity on your identities as you seem to have about yourselves."

"It's quite fitting, really, because you both embody everything I caution against when it comes to mind-altering substances. I don’t care how many other places have named you Hall of Famer, to me, you're a walking PSA for the dangers of drugs and alcohol.Trippy exploits and an aimless “professional career”. The party may stop once you enter the ring, because we’re all business all-the-time!"

"And now, the Guardians seem doomed to suffer the same fate as Omega’s singles career: Stuck in a rut.”

“Going nowhere fast!”

“Spinning their wheels!”

“Down a dead end road!”

“But we’re revved up for success!”

“Steering towards a bright future!”

“We’re fueling our ambitions!”

“And cruising towards a successful defense!”

“Our aspiration is to inspire the world, fostering less cynicism and more hope. Sadly, Omega and Richards seem to have forsaken their hope for a better world and now rely solely on imposing their own distorted idea of justice and condemning common decency.”

“And THAT makes them the bad guys!”

“Indeed it does! As heroes, we are not the judges, nor the jury, and certainly not the executioners. We are heroes who stand against all manifestations of evil. While there are occasions when violence becomes necessary, there exists a stark contrast between apprehending a wrongdoer and unlawfully ending their life. The latter merely reduces you to the same level as the villains you seek to eliminate."

"Perhaps you would grasp this truth if not for the perplexing haze clouding your minds."

"However, let's divert our attention to the matter at hand: the Tag Team Championships."

"These prestigious titles symbolize genuine heroes and champions. Allow me to make one thing abundantly clear: the two of you are far from worthy of calling yourselves heroes, let alone Tag Team Champions."

"When it comes to high stakes battles such as this, experience is everything. It's a make-or-break moment where there's no margin for error. Your mettle and ability to flawlessly collaborate as a unified force are put to the ultimate test."

"However, I have doubts about your team's capabilities. Sure, you may have joined forces in the past, but can the two of you pivot when the unexpected strikes? Looks to us like this team of spaceship flying wrestlers have been soaring through the cosmos solo for eons! With their hulls all rusty from the lengthy trek, they'll need to shake off that ring rust to truly dominate together again, but that's not happening in their first match back."

"Not against the Champs!"

"All it takes is for one moment to go awry, and we’ll be faced with the truth: How well will you adapt? Can Jay Omega and Alex Richards effectively strategize and divert from their planned strategy on the fly? We can, and do on a regular basis."

"And for the record, If we found ourselves in your position, teaming for the first time in however many years, we would prioritize preparing for the unforeseen, double so if somehow we found ourselves challenging the best tag team in the XWF today, which we are,” Atomic Bat motions to the championships on her and Tango’s waist. “As evidenced by these."

"Sadly, it seems you're too engrossed in your interdimensional escapades to pay much attention to such trivial matters."

"Guardians, while you wander aimlessly in a fog of confusion, indulging in your whimsical adventures, The Atomic Bat and Blue Tango have remained steadfast, dedicating ourselves to rigorous training and sharpening our skills. We have analyzed every technique, from the unimaginatively titled “Thunderstruck” to the inevitable “Blackout” that follows the fittingly named “Dazed and Confused.” While you struggle to define your own identities, we have already uncovered your weaknesses and devised strategies to exploit them.”

“While you wander aimlessly, we have dedicated ourselves to mastering the art of teamwork and becoming the best tag team in existence.Your partnership appears to be nothing more than a convenient alliance. Us, on the other hand, have spent countless hours training together, fighting together, wrestling together, and developing a bond that allows us to anticipate each other's moves seamlessly. Despite what you may think that you know, we move as one, because our lives very much DO depend on it, while you two stumble around making assumptions like two lost souls trying to find your way back to reality.”

"So, Jay Omega and Alex Richard's, when we step into that ring, expect to be met with a level of synergy and teamwork that you've never experienced before. We're not just two people who used to team together; we're a well-oiled Tag Team Championship machine, perfectly calibrated to dismantle any opposition that dares to fly in our path."

”While you inevitably stumble and fumble in the ring, we'll be executing flawless double-team maneuvers, seamlessly tagging in and out of the match, and you'll be left bewildered, questioning why you ever thought you stood a chance against the XWF Tag Team Champions."

"Your inter-dimensional escapades may have warped your understanding of what it takes to be true champions. While you've been gallivanting through alternate realities, we've been fighting tooth and nail in the trenches, earning our stripes as a formidable team."

"This is not your time, this is not your place, and your distorted senses of reality will be your downfall, as you'll struggle to adapt to the intensity and pressure of a true championship bout."

"Look, if I can entertain the notion that your reality-altering adventures aren't merely a hazy hallucination caused by your extracurricular pursuits, then I guess I should express gratitude for your efforts to safeguard the innocent. However, I remain skeptical of both your approach and the arrogance with which you flaunt your alleged acts of goodness. A genuine hero doesn't crave validation or applause. They act in accordance with what's right because it's the right thing to do.”

“The Atomic Bat and Blue Tango, the true defenders of justice, are here to show you what it truly means to be Tag Team Champions. And when the dust settles, and the haze clears, you'll be left with nothing but the bitter taste of defeat.”

Suddenly, there was a crash!

"What was that?!"

Both Tango and Atomic Bat looked around the room and saw a shadow escape from the skylight.

"I'll check it out!"  Tango said with a determined tone.

Tango hurried out to the rooftop.  The city lights didn't reach up here, so it was pitch dark.  He scanned the rooftop and that's when he noticed a silhouette perched on the ledge.

"Meow."

Super-Hero Pose: Engaged.

Out from the shadows walked the figure.  It was another one of Blue Tango's on and off again villains, Pussywhipped.

"Pussy?"

Tango couldn't find his words.

"I thought you were… dead!  The attack…  Doomsayer…"

Pussywhipped slowly walked over towards Tango and threw an arm over his shoulder.

"You did, Blue."

She leaned her head into his shoulder.

"But, ya know…  Nine lives."

"Yeah, but I've also seen you hit by a bus twice.  You've fallen out of how many buildings.  How many times have you been shot?"

"Fatally?  Just once."

"I dunno.  I figured that might have been your last one."

"Honestly, I quit counting."

The two stood in a bit of an awkward silence for a moment.  Tango threw an arm around her and comforted her the best he could, all while waiting for a knife to be shoved in his gut.

"Why'd you come here?"

"To warn you, Blue."

"Warn me?  About what?"

"When I came to, back at the party…"

"Yeah?"

Tango pulled himself away from Pussywhipped and stared at her in the eyes.

"When I woke up, he was there.  Doomsayer.  And he knew you were there, Blue.  He knows about you and Atomic Bat….  He knows everything."

"What the…  How?"

"Smoker.  Smoker told him everything and he's coming for you, Blue."

Tango clenched his fist in a rage.

"I knew we couldn't trust that jerk!  He must have manipulated Harlot into meeting up with us and feeding us the line of crap that he did!"

Tango explained their situation and how Smoker had offered to help them.  It was all surely for his benefit, which they realized, but the overall good of the outcome in saving the world overshadowed anything Smoker was firing up.

"Talk about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, huh?"

"That's what Bats would say about you."

"Oh, whatever…  The most you've ever gotten me for is petty theft, so lock me away and lose the key."

She teased.  Tango looked behind him expecting a bat to come swooping in out of nowhere, but instead her voice came from below.

"Everything alright, Tango?"

"Yeah!"  Tango turned and yelled back, "Everything's cool!"

When he turned back around, Pussywhipped was gone.  He ran to the side of the building and looked around, but there was no sign of her.

"So skittish," he said under his breath.

"What's up?"

Tango jumped when the Atomic Bat appeared behind him.

"Oh!  Nothin'...  I think it was just a cat.  When I got up here something took off like I scared it…"

"I thought I heard you talking to someone…"

"Oh!  Um..  Well, actually.  I was just thinking about our match.  Out loud.  Like, everything you said about those guys…  Man…  Nail on the head, ya know?"

"Yeah…  You're acting weird.  Everything okay, Tango?"

"Yeah!  I mean, I guess I'm just a little frustrated and maybe even a little flustered that no one seems to be taking us seriously.  We've been through the ringer.  We earned our shot like we were supposed to.  We WON the titles fair and square…  And you've got guys like these that tell us we're basically imposters."

"Is everyone going to make jabs at us out here trying to preserve justice and peace?  I thought we were doing a good thing and unless you're some kind of asshole–"

"Hey!"

"Yeah, sorry.  Unless you're some kind of jerk, who would think that's a bad thing?!  Especially if you're in the same business.  Who cares who does what to what spectrum of the universe?  If you couldn't tell, our scale of jurisdiction fluctuates from time to time, which happens.  Jay Omega is some kind of space junky who, I think, causes more trouble where he's at than good.  But whatever, man.  What you do outside the Milky Way Galaxy stays outside the Milky Way Galaxy.  Or dimension, multi-verse, fantasy you cook up."

"Drug-induced fever dream."

"The main focus though, of course, is the XWF Tag Team Championship!  These guys did the same thing we did, they earned their shot.  Omega did, then drug his partner from years ago back in.  Like you said, Bats, we've been a fine tuned hero crime solving machine since the day we decided to join forces!"

"The Tag Division here has been in shambles for a while if you couldn't tell.  Teams just come together, randos that decide together that they could get the job done.  It's nothing for real.  It's nothing with meaning.  We're the first team in a long time to come in and show what it truly means to merge as one and work as a single unit.  Jay and Alex?  Yeah, they have the history.  They have the experience, but it shows outside the ring that they're just no on the same page or have the connection that you and I have, Bats.  They want to dig deep into our pasts, call out our true identities, and bash us for the way we take care of business while they go about their business in such a reckless manner that a true hero couldn't stomach."

"Heh..  At the same time, like the situation we're in with Doomsayer, we have to be prepared to do whatever it takes to get the job done.  When we took on Kido and Cashe for the titles, we knew that the road was just going to start getting more rough as we went.  Winning the titles created the target on our backs and it's up to us to face whatever comes out of the woodwork to take us down.  We're the best…  And now is our time to show it."