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Thaddeus Duke · (02-26-2021)

Woolworth Tower || Tribeca - New York City || 9:51 PM

Standing on the terrace of my penthouse, staring out across the skyline toward the Empire State Building and all alone with my thoughts as the cold winter breeze flows through my hair, it occurs to me that no one really knows me. At least not in the way they think they do. That includes my closest friends and even my family. People look at me and see what they think I am: the cocky son of a wrestling legend slowly morphing into a wrestling legend himself. They see the good looks and the smiles and the fan interactions and think that’s all of who I am. What they don’t know is that I’m constantly tortured on the inside. There is a darkness hidden within me that I try so hard to stop. I try hard to do the right thing all the time, but sometimes… the darkness just wins.

It’s easy for those to sit on their pulpits and cast their judgment upon me, upon my decisions or on my actions. Yet they take the things I do at face value and refuse to look deeper, refuse to look beyond what they’re seeing to get to the root of it all, because there’s black and there’s white and there can be no shades of gray. Except there is gray. A lot of gray. Sometimes, I operate within that gray area because I have to. There’s a lot of things going on inside me that no one ever sees. There’s a tug of war raging deep within me between good and evil, between the teachings of my father and grandfather, and that goodness that I try to display. Where the ‘goodness’ inside me comes from, I really don’t know. My mother perhaps.

Perfection doesn’t exist. Does one despicable act that I do erase all the good I’ve done? It shouldn’t. In some minds I’m sure it does but let he who has not sinned, cast the first stone. I don’t think any of this exonerates me of anything bad that I've done or will do in the future. It can’t, it shouldn’t. Yet some people have this thirst to hold me to a higher standard than they hold others.

Everyone knows my name. People have seen bits and pieces of my story and if anyone thinks they have the whole picture, that they have me all figured out then they’re lying to you and to themselves. But go ahead and judge me for what I’ve done while entirely ignoring what it is I’ve been through. Peoples lives, the things they see, the things they hear, the things they learned, the things they experienced away from prying XWF cameras… it all matters too.

Everything takes its toll. Just because I smile, because I love my fans, because I deeply love my friends and my family… does not mean that I have immunity from being an imperfect human.

My thoughts get interrupted by my vibrating phone resting in the pocket of my jeans.

Corey.

”Hey what’s up?” I greet him as I put him on speaker.

”This FUCKING traffic is FUCKING stupid!” he calls out angrily, causing me to laugh a little. ”Do you know how easy it is to make wrong turns here and go the wrong way? Everything is FUCKING ONE WAY!”

”I mean, I was literally just at your house though. You coulda easily just hopped on my plane but you gotta be… you.”

”Where the hell do I park?” he asks, ignoring my mockery.

”The garage?”

”Yeah but how do I get there?”

”Just drive around the block until you see the garage sign. The tower takes up the whole city block,” I inform him as he lets out a huff of frustration. ”Then take the elevator to the top.”

”See you in a few,” Corey says before hanging up.

Alone again for the moment, I take in the last bit of quiet. Maybe quiet isn’t the right word. This city isn’t ever quiet, but it’s easy to get lost in New York. I could scream up here on this terrace at the top of my lungs and not a soul would pay me any attention. Somehow, that’s kind of comforting.

I’ve been blessed with better friends than I deserve. I’ve been gifted with a certain charisma mixed with some other worldly level of in-ring talent that has rewarded me with the greatest fans in the wrestling business. Loyal to me no matter what the hell I do. Yet every now and again I have this feeling that… something is missing inside of me and while I try to figure out what that missing piece is, it drives me up the fucking wall. It enrages me to a certain degree because I just can’t figure out what’s missing inside me. Often I feel like I can almost see it, but when I look… nothing. Just a dark void.

”Hey!” Corey cries out excitedly from inside the penthouse. Walking toward me with his beaming smile.

”Hey man, how was the trip?” I ask of him, turning my head to see him, then back out into the never ending lights.

”It was... a trip,” he answers. ”It gave me time to think about some things and...” he continues before letting his voice trail off. He approaches the railing beside me and stares off into the distance. ”Y’know I always wondered what it is that draws you to this place,” he muses aloud almost to himself.

”Yeah?”

”Anonymity?” he questions.

”That’s part of it,” I answer him before leaning my folded arms on the railing and looking straight down to the street below. ”It’s weird. We enter the business and grow famous. Then learn to somehow simultaneously adore and resent that fame.”

”Can I say something?”

Admittedly the question throws me off a little bit. He’s Corey. Of course he can say something.

”Well, I was talking to Christian and...”

”I saw,” I interrupt him while taking a quick peek in his direction then back out over New York.

”So then you kind of know where I’m going… You know I can never really thank you enough for being beside me the way you were, well, still are… but as much as we share and talk and joke, Thad, sometimes I feel like I really don’t even know you.”

His comments cause me to shoot him a gaze before again returning my attention out over the city.

”At least, not as well as I should.”

”I say I’m an open book,” I respond quickly before turning my head toward him. ”I’m not really. There’s a lot of things I keep inside.”

”It’s not really about the anonymity is it?” he asks. ”I mean, why you always gravitate here.”

”Nah,” I say quietly. ”I mean yeah, but, it’s my mom too.”

Corey looks at me. ”You never really told me about her.”

”She was born here. She lived most of her life here,” I begin to explain to him. ”She was dead before I ever...” my own voice trails off and Corey slaps me on the shoulder and gives it a squeeze. ”You know, sometimes if I think really hard and everything is quiet, I can almost hear her voice from when I was a baby. Talking to me when I was in my crib or something.

“Anyway, my mother was taken from me by my own father and I’m just supposed to believe whatever it is I’m told about it, about her, and none of it makes a bit of fucking sense. This city in a way… on some level it makes me feel connected to her. I mean like, in a way that I don’t feel anywhere else.”

”I’m sorry man, I just thought...”

”Don’t worry about it,” I interrupt him. ”You have every right to be concerned about things.”

”Why would you go at Big D like that?”

I give him a half laugh half scoff kind of thing.

”Listen, that fucker had it coming. Every time you turn around my name is droppin’ from his mouth about some fluke victory he had over me a year and a half ago and when I was gone, the son of a bitch claimed credit for retiring me.

“Dumbass,” I laugh. ”I didn’t quit, I got fired.”

”But he just had a match, AND got his ass kicked by BoB.”

”Look, I’m not saying I was right in doing it. All I’m saying is I warned him time and again to keep my name out of his mouth and he kept at it. I know you don’t like when I step into the gray, but Corey, there’s certain expectations attached to my last name and I can’t just let things slide all the time. I don’t have that luxury.”

”Well you’re right, I don’t really like it, but I guess its fair on some level… couldn’t you have just challenged him or something?”

”For him to be like “sorry no my moms is gettin’ her hair did that day,”?” I joke. ”I learned that the only way to get a cowards attention is to embarrass them on live television.”

”You know um,” Corey begins as he turns and takes a couple steps toward the doorway. ”I’ve been meaning to talk to you about… something,” he says, changing the subject in the process.

Turning my back toward the railing to face… his back apparently… I fold my arms in front of my chest.

”I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about… well...”

”Us,” I finish his thought in hopes of making it easier on him to spill his guts.

”Yeah.”

”Well let’s talk about it then,” I say in an attempt to ease his apprehension as he turns to face me. ”You don’t have to be embarrassed about anything, it’s just us.” Knowingly, we both glance at the XWF camera. ”And a few million of our closest friends.”

”No I’m not embarrassed, I’m just trying to put the words in the right order,” he says before pausing. ”The whole time I was down after my stroke you were there for me. From start to finish, pushing me everyday to get stronger, to get better.

“And the whole time I was thinking that I might have… feelings for you… like romantically.”

For the moment, I don’t say anything, instead electing to let him get it out of his system. Corey starts to pace back and forth on the terrace as he strings his thoughts together.

”That by itself started to make me question my own sexuality and...” his voice trails off.

”Are you gay?” I ask of him, but he doesn’t answer.

”And I know that even if we did...” he pauses again. ”It’d never work out between us. You’re committed to Elizabeth and Frankie. And I’d never want to be the reason that wasn’t the case.”

”I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this information,” I admit to him quietly. It’s flattering in a way but in another way it’s a little unnerving, he’s like a brother to me and I love him with all my heart. I’ve never thought about him in a romantic kind of way. That’s not to say I couldn’t, I just haven’t.

”I just need to know,” he says quietly as he looks down for a second, then back up into my eyes. ”I want to know if these thoughts and feelings I’m having, if they’re real or...” his voice trails off and I lean off the railing, taking a step toward him.

”Let’s find out then,” I say, placing my right hand on the left side of his face. Inching my face closer to his. ”Were you always this short?” I joke, causing him to smile a bit.

”Yes,” he answers quietly. Just as the moment all the shippers were waiting for is about to take place, Billie Eilish starts singing in my pocket.

”It’s Liz,” I inform him as I back away a step and pull my phone from my pocket. Hitting ‘accept’ on my phone I raise my eyes to see Corey walking away into the house. ”Hey babe what’s up?”

There’s always a lot of talk when you’re gearing up for tag team matches, about ‘weak links.’ Virtually every team has them. This isn’t me taking a shot at anyone. But if you look around the tag team scene in the XWF, Them No Good Bastards? TK, easily the weak link. DDS? Jimson by a mile. The Dissentients? Marf and it’s no contest. Mastermind and Morbid Angel? Both, in all honesty.

What about the former tag champs Cataclysm? A lot of people thought it was Chris Page, myself included. I’m willing to change my stance on that and say it was Robert Main. Page will fight until your eyes bleed from seeing him, Main? He took his L like a little bitch and despite him supposedly wanting to challenge for the Universal title, that overgrown asshat ain’t been seen since December.

What about Continuum?

When it comes to us, there is virtually no weak link. Whether its me and Corey, me and Doc or Corey and Doc, there is no weak link. What you’re in for when you come for Continuum, is a really bad day at the office. DDS is about to find that out the hard way tomorrow night on Savage.

Charlie, I’ll admit I was wrong about you. No, I’m not saying he;s great, I’m saying he was able to pull a rabbit out of a hat and make Jim Jimson not entirely suck. That has to take some skill right? And Jim, I caught that last promo of yours and it was hilarious. Like, belly laughter funny. But just because you covered Charlie in dolphin cum for twenty minutes… and it was dolphin cum Charlie, not shampoo… doesn’t mean anyone’s gonna believe that now… now Jimson got what it takes to help Nickles do something incredible.
The incredibility of defeating Continuum… sorry man, that’s just not gonna happen.

Charlie, here’s the thing about the Universal Championship: say whatever you want. Say that Doc helped me obtain it. Say that Corey helped me out in that battle royal. Hell, you can even say that you don’t think I deserved to be the champion but Charlie, your opinions on the matter mean nothing. The truth remains: Thaddeus Duke was Universal Champion… Thad smiles. I was… and you weren’t. You couldn’t beat one person yet no matter how the ending came down, I beat 18 others.

It’s amazing to me how the criminally immoral suddenly feign their own morality and scream that life ain’t fair when they fail and I……... don’t. Pearl clutching at its finest.

This dumbass clubs baby seals and tortures and mutilates innocent loveable dolphins, but somehow I'm the bad guy because I have a plane and money. Okay so its a bunch of planes and fuck load of money. Here's the thing though since he so willingly wants to chastise me for inheriting a fortune. Just because I don't show it on television, doesn't mean I'm not charitable. Just because I regularly beat the shit out of the animals in the XWF doesn't mean I somehow want to kill all the animals with my planes exhaust.

Did you know I give a million dollars quarterly to a charity that helps further the education of orphaned foster kids? There's dozens of other causes I believe in that help the less fortunate. And millions of my dollars go into their coffers because I have the bank account I do. Money they wouldn't get otherwise.

Did you know that the lions, well now just lion, thanks Doc, that I have were rescues from a circus that I bought in order to shut it down and save the animals within it from a lifetime of torture and cruelty?

And since you're so interested in what Corey and I may or may not do in our leisure time, did you know that no part of me has ever been inside any of Corey's holes? Or vice versa for that matter.

Clutch your pearls Charlie.

Did you know that my 'servants' or whatever you call them, are paid extremely generous salaries? Did you know they're like family to me? Did you know I'm like family to them?

Do you really know anything about Thaddeus Duke, or do you just focus on the fact that I have money and therefore I must be entirely and purely evil?

Do you realize why I plead with the U.S. government? Launching missiles and dropping bombs onto their territory without their approval is an act of war dumbass. I'm not that stupid. Going to war with the U.S. isn't a fight that I can win. Neither financially nor militarily.

It just seems like you threw a pile of your own shit at a liberal message board and boom! That's the new Demos! Just like an internet outraged hippie, getting all your fake outrage out so people think you know something about anything while knowing virtually nothing of what you claim. It's kind of like you're just out here reacting to headlines rather than looking at the story, you know, the full picture.

Pear clutching. Gaslighting. Blue MAGA in all its glory.

You can sit there in your faded plastic lawn chair in your rundown meth lab trailer park and judge me all you like, but saying things about me when you clearly don't even know shit just makes everyone look at you like you're a fucking idiot and you did all you could to prove them right.

Hate me for not defending the titles, but in case you hadn't noticed, I was a little busy defending the Universal title... you know... that belt you couldn't win... Hate me all you want for knowing the rules and playing that game better than you. I didn't make them, but I damn sure know how to use them.

The titles are staying with Continuum boys because The Freebirds are comin' to Savage... and we are fuckin' fabulous.

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