November 2019
Anarchy Card
In Jeopardy
Amid Health Concerns

Thursday Night Anarchy, a staple to XWF Fans, may be forced to change their upcoming card due to potential health risks to the athletes involved. In what the XWF calls a Tuxedo Vs Evening Gown match, superstars Atara Themis and Mini Morbid were scheduled to compete. Glow Magazine recently recieved information from an anonymous source that Mini Morbid may not be medically cleared this coming week due to a recent diagnosis of priapism.

Priapism, a condition in which the male penis remains erect for hours after stimulation or even in the absence of stimulation, is said to be quite painful. In extreme cases it could require surgical procedure to remedy. GLOW reached out to the XWF Medical staff and inquired of the severity of the issue and the potential causes. XWF Doctor Average at Best phoned us back with this statement.

"Unfortunately it is a severe case. One of the most severe we have ever seen. We've narrowed down potential causes being that Morbid could potentially be just a walking talking dick or due to his dwarfism that an overstimulation as occurred from his balls always touching the grass. It could even be that the idea of stripping meee..er Atara down is such a prominate thought that Morbid is in a perpetual state of arousal."

Doctor Best couldn't answer questions about the future of this match, but did give an explanation as to why both superstar's health could be at risk.

"Our fear is that due to Morbid's obsession with fecal matter and the nature of his foreskins regrowth that he may also suffer from chronic penile yeast infections or a myriad of other diseases. Given the nature of this match, his inability to formulate a coherent thought with normal blood flow to the brain, it's in both competitors interest to separate themselves from the match."

GLOW was unable to obtain the credentials of Doctor Best to ascertain the validity of this statement or reach Morbid for comment. Atara Themis was available for comment and released this statement just prior to this report.

"I would like to thank the XWF Medical staff for this timely discovery of the current condition of my opponent. It's a testament to this company that they value talent to such a degree and prioritize our health and safety over money. It's a shame for our fans, who I offer my sincerest apologies, hopefully an alternate can be found if Morbid can't compete.

I offer my condolences to Mini Morbid. The permanent scarring his condition can cause is no laughing matter. It would be a shame for him to have to hide more himself because of a grotesque disfigurement. This one atleast wasn't the result of the rampant inbreeding I'm told is pandemic in his country. Keep your head up little guy.

If the match is cancelled due to my opponents health, I'll be auctioning off the evening gown designed for the match and will be donating the money to help with his medical expenses."


What this means for Anarchy is uncertain. The brand as of late has been continually bashed for mismanagement, shoddy productions, and unequal treatment of its top stars. We can only hope for the best, not just for Mini Morbid, but the company as a whole.