Scott Charlotte
Shhhh
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05-18-2013, 03:42 PM
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=2807
So i've seen a couple people post in the feedback board recently and thought Id give it a go. I haven't made a Scott Charlotte RP in a while and wanted to know thoughts on this one before I got started on the 2nd.
Thanks and you shall be rewarded with bountiful...uh...bounties.
(1x) Hart Champion
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Current Record
![[Image: p_197-329-tragedy-comedy-270x270.jpg]](https://en.gliamicidipierrot.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/p_197-329-tragedy-comedy-270x270.jpg)
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Steve "KingSlayer" Davids
Steve Davids
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05-18-2013, 03:52 PM
(05-18-2013, 03:42 PM)Scott Charlotte Said: http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=2807
So i've seen a couple people post in the feedback board recently and thought Id give it a go. I haven't made a Scott Charlotte RP in a while and wanted to know thoughts on this one before I got started on the 2nd.
Thanks and you shall be rewarded with bountiful...uh...bounties.
I found this quite interesting and it did have me want to keep reading but I do have one major problem with it....
The description makes me want to die.
'he laughs'
'he chuckles'
etc....
When he is doing these things how is he doing it?
For an example lets take a short description like 'he whispers' ....
and then transform it,
'whispering echoes of torment with a sad smile on his face, Steve looks on at Scott Charlotte with great intensity.'
Just my opinion mate  Keep up the good work!
3x Xtreme Champion
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Steve "KingSlayer" Davids
Steve Davids
XWF FanBase: Teens, some men, few kids (booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
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05-18-2013, 03:59 PM
(05-18-2013, 03:55 PM)Scott Charlotte Said: Thanks, honestly I have to agree with you. I write those in, but i've never truly like them. Was never sure how anyone else felt now that I know it will be changed. I'm trying to get a feel for this updated Scott and it makes me want to switch to First Person mode with things, something I haven't done in a long time. I've been predominately third person. But thanks for the advice I will make sure to increase the descriptiveness.
Bare in mind mate some people might prefer your brief descriptions....
I am a little obsessive of setting a scene and having a image painted for me. Although if you have read my work you will know I try to do that, not always succeeding I might add.
3x Xtreme Champion
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1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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John Austin
Grizzled Young Vet
WWW
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05-19-2013, 09:14 AM
I pretty much agree with what Steve said.
My personal opinions:
-Good Descriptions like "A women in a tight black dress with massive cleavage" xD haha
-Love the pre-story before the promo, had a good personal friend who use to do that when he RPed, and I was always amazed on how he could do that and still make it like a basic standard promo
-Also on that note, love how you somewhat mentioned the story in the actual promo for the match. "Well, shit. I didn't realize there were cameras there that night. Guinness makes me violent and yet slightly romantic. It's a wonderful thing, the Irish. I hear they had lovely potatoes as well"
Cons:
-Basically what Steve said, just work on the small things and you are set.
Can't wait to see more work from ya
To find John, turn those lights out because he will then appear...
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