The SATAN! train keeps on rolling, just like the Hillary Heart somehow keeps on beating. Trump train stopped dead in it's tracks. Debate #1. We return once again to another theater near you broadcasting the most bodacious bastion of belittling Bourbon and a piece of beef better than any other butt fucker could. We immediately return back to the screen shot SATAN! vision left us in before. Soldier and Doc walking down a hallway and escaping the debate room where a glass was shattered and they nearly blew out the window after being nearly killed by their Supreme Financier Darth George Soros. Thankfully, Doctor D'ville was able to hold Soldier's demon dick with his strong manly arms and handle it well enough to pull him back in. The two now make their way down the hallway towards the elevator. Soldier is skipping like a happy go luck sky lark, while Doctor D'ville is simply walking at a slightly accelerated pace in order to just keep up with the frolicking flesh eater. They arrive at the giant elevator doors, swarms of other people working and living inside the tower are in a riot. A stamped of these rioters comes plowing off the elevator and runs over Soldier and Doc. This is not just your normal Charlotte, North Carolina type of riots either.

This is more like what you would imagine the inside of the World Trade Centers must have been like on 9/11. The fire alarms are wailing and the sprinkler systems are pouring rain over the tops of the folks inside the building in a mass panic. Bodies from all over the place are pushing themselves through the hallways. People who once worked side by side . People who lived together as neighbors inside the massive tower. Are now fighting, biting, and shanking one another with knives and other forms of home made weapons. Those unable to find a weapon have resorted to throwing their own feces at one another, and luck would have it, that a particular disgusting and deplorable type of butthole disease was running rampant throughout the entire population of said Hillary debate prep secret evil tower. Can you guess what disease that might be?

Huh?





Can You?












C-DIFF!!!!!!


C-gressing back now to the story like we were a fart that Peter Gilmour sucked up his ass while on a date with Mia Dim. Which he really shouldn't be embarrassed farting in front of another man, but being the good gay gentlemen that he is, we won't hold it against him.

Soldier KICKS THE FUCK OUT! Like he's been doing for five months straight so you know he's getting really really good at it, easily flinging the dog pile that fell on top of both him and Doctor D'ville. The entire pile of bodies goes flailing out the glass as a new window shatters. Everyone left coming off the elevator goes flailing off into the sky, most likely meeting certain death. Soldier is seen struggling to get his dick out of his pants and is jumping around all nimbly bimbly like, trying to get his snake to pop from out of his unzipped trousers.

Unknown Soldier: "Help me Doc, I'm floating away again! NoOoOoOoOoO!"

As Soldier lets loose the drawn out for dramatic effect on his last word, sort of like one of those slow motion movies where someone is falling off the edge of a cliff and their friend is reaching out to save them. The dimwit even looks like he's leaning backwards as to even get further away from Doc, except for with his hips that he's thrusting forward. Still struggling to get the tip of his chinny chin chin to come out of his pants so Doc can grab at it again. Despite Soldier's efforts the two were just too close together for him to get far apart to where Doc would need to grab his private parts to save him once again, and as per usual the ingenious Doctor had anticipated this problem happening again, knowing the power of his tag team partners kick out strength. He grabs Soldier by the shoulder this time, and easily slams the two of them into the elevator just in the nick of time. Doc presses the button to go down to the main floor and the elevator proceeds to take them downward.

Doctor D'ville: "I swear to SATAN! if you try that again. I'm going to either chop it off with my switchblade or just let you drift off to never never land."

Unknown Soldier: "k"

Doctor D'ville: "Don't you fucking k me, you got it?"

Unknown Soldier: "kkk"

Doctor D'ville: "Cute Soldier, real cute."

They arrive at the main level floor quickly, as this elevator operates on warp speed times 666. The two then exit and join the vicious mob of hundreds of people attempting to escape the premises. All out mayhem and chaos and complete and total break down of the republic is ensuing around them. George Soros would shed a tear if he could see this right now. Doc and Soldier turn to look at each other, they know they're going to have to work together to get past this mob of rioters larger than the size of Furman, Charlotte, and Rodney King LA type shit combined. The two lock eyes before staring back out at the crowd again. Back to a deep stare. They know what they have to do. Soldier pulls out his dick and strangely Doc does the same thing too.

They then look back to the mob, and then once back again into one another's eyes with that very deep and gay looking-ish glare. This time Soldier winks and reaches over to grab Doc's dick. The good doctor stops his hand before it can make it's way over to his dick and just embraces it with his own hand. The two then charge forward together, each letting loose a rip roaring battle cry as if they were making their way off into war. The two begin fighting off the pack of riots working as a team. Holding the others hand as they battle their way to the exit of the tower. Buddy system is a great component for a pair of tag team champions.

Look at these two, helping fight the riots that are plaguing the cities of America as a team, something that president Robbie Bourbon would have no idea how to do. Outside the windows of the tower, hovering just beyond the outside where Doc and Soldier are fighting to reach, is Hillary Clinton floating on a broom. Sitting next to her is George Soros, crying tears of joy as the massive riots are erupting before his eyes. Hillary cackles loudly and it ruptures the glass windows, sending the riot folks packed like sardines out of of the tower and onto the streets. The two escape together, and even despite making it to safety the two still hold hands walking off into the sunset. Dicks out. For the Tag Team Championships and also of course Harambe.


"So let me get this straight, and how oh fucking ironic this is, did you see how that dipshit Mystery mash potato brain fell right into my trap? He just HAD to think that the title to my most recently uploaded promo had something to do with him. Well, boy was he right! I'm sure glad he's really good at math, because he's absolutely right. Six times three is eighteen. But, then I would ask him while he's paying so much attention to that if he can even read the name of the person uploading his bullshit to his website. I mean, he did notice how I managed to call him every other sandwich better than him on the Arby's menu in my last promo, but left him out. Yeah, and you know why? Because all the original Arby's food fucking sucks. The Market Fresh stuff is where it's at, fuck the original roast beef and cheeze whiz! It's the stuff for someone who wants to stay physical and fit like a tag team champion eats. Not a fat overweight loser like Robbie Bourbon, makes sense he'd pick you.

But that's besides the point of this idiot trying to lecture me about how I'm supposed to believe this story that he's just Arby Beef. You see, he made reference to the title of my promo and now I'm going to make reference to the person uploading his to the website. Who was that? MYSTERY COMPETITOR #1? Where did I get that name? Oh yeah, fuck wad, from you. And you know what else? Look at the title of your last promo uploaded. What the fuck does it say? Oh yeah, that's right it says "Who am I??!?! Doesn't that pretty much insinuate to anyone about to watch it, and that its uploaded by MYSTERY COMPETITOR #1. That it's supposed to be some kind of a guessing game? You see, I watched Robbie beat pest. Not sure why, maybe I was really fucked up on drugs, but anyways, what I saw was this same reject uploading promos for the same guy that Robbie Bourbon faced just not long ago.

Tell me, Guppy Parsh if your up there somewhere listening my little bat detective buddy, does that not sound like an awfully fucking huge coincidence? It sure as hell does Mr...... Arby..... Hypocritical........ BEEF!!!! MYSTERY!!!! !!!!!

You also don't pay very close attention when trying to follow a conversation, do you? Never did I say that Doc was beneath me because he lost to Alexis Riot, in fact, what I said was that you idiots making a big deal about it is pretty lame considering the truth that you have NOTHING ELSE to say about the man and have NOTHING ELSE to say good about yourselves. Especially when your tag team partner is over their hooting and hollering about how great of a team you are, then why wouldn't I bring it to light, the fact, that our team is capable of beating Alexis Riot that if Doc didn't do it, then I can. Never said it was beneath him what I said was the man had an off night and if that were the case that he would be unable to handle Alexis Riot, our team would still be in the clear since I was able to vanquish her myself.

Wow, I can't believe I have to connect the dots this badly for you but I guess that's just the way it is. All this hogwash your hypocritical ass is blowing, and yet you're the one that can't even remember how many times I've help the Universal Title. Don't try to correct yourself and look dignified by saying 'Oh yeah I forgot your not that good'. No, the problem Arby is that your just that fucking stupid!

I liked the song too, it's just sad you can't sing like Seal or GodSmack as good as me or else people might think you were writing a somewhat comedic cover song from some lame band. But instead you just slopped together a half ass effort and gave up halfway through the song and suddenly it just became a lame joke like the way Robbie abuses his grandmother. I'm imagining this half ass attempt at covering Tenacious D will translate to your wrestling abilities on Warfare this week.

You want to know the evidence how I know that your not a good tag team? Because you haven't even had a match, you found the titles in the garbage can, and it's sad for me to sit here and admit that for a long time that pair of titles has been long held in the wrong hands. Evidence by now by the ones holding it and how it came into their hands. Isn't it sad that since Team Ferngotti held the tag titles that they have practically been held by non existent shit bags that drift off into the wind. Most not even sticking around long enough to defend it or it just gets handed off to some pieces of trash. In this case LITERAL PIECES OF TRASH. Just like the wrappers after eating a fast food sandwich do in the wind all these former tag teams form and disappear. I think it's time for two of the most established and longest existing wrestlers in the XWF, bring them back to glory once again. The same way I have brought the Xtreme Title back to it's major relevance. This day and age our Universal Champion is almost non-existent, so someone has to step up and fill the void and since Scully won that thing it has been me. Unknown Soldier and Doctor D'ville have been the showcased main event headline in almost every card booked in the history of ever in the XWF. I don't see that changing anytime soon and that goes especially for when the two of them work together as a team!"