Good evening my loyal slaves, servants, and future tax payers. For now you have entered my world. The one and only world of the global domination frontier, code named; Gloominati. Bow before me now for I am the queen of the New World Domination and I bring to you the rise of the Triangle of Tremendous Terror! (TTT) That's Madame Mother fuckin' Secretary of the State Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton to you, ya god damn jigaboo! Don't worry it's totally cool; I can actually use racist terms like 'super predators' and 'knuckle dragging spear chuckers' and get away with it. I'm a women; therefore, also a minority so that makes it totally straight if I use borderline cloudy racist terms. I can still accuse a white male like Donald Trump of being a racist, who needs to check his white privilege, because quite frankly it's the only reason I think people are actually going to vote for me. That's why I'm spending millions of dollars on campaign television ads on my CNN media outlet showing members of the KKK supporting that orange skinned Republican opponent of mine whose hair looks like he glued pieces of straw to his scalp.

No, I support even more evil regimes like the TTT! The Triangle of Tremendous Terror. Myself, Unknown Soldier, and Doctor Louis D'ville will not only one day rule just the XWF, but the entire world! The Galaxy! The entire fucking universe for that matter, and that includes those gay planets that Azarel Erebus was from even. Nobody will stop me and my evil plans, for I have the power and the guidance of the most darkest of all dark lords. I prayed to him just the other day, when I thought I was about to die and my life was flashing before my very eyes. I was having a full blown seizure while falling face first into the back of a van due to my deteriorating health.

I do have the gift of eternal life as long as I can still keep abortion legal and feast off the dead fetuses souls. But it is fading and it is fading fast, due to right wing religious nutjobs that pass laws making women wait a week and then read a bunch of religious propaganda literature. So, then they think about it before getting the surgery right after they receive the seed of an unwanted pregnancy. My main concern; however, still lies in the growing popularity of my rival. The Russian super top secret agent known as 00-Racist Alex Jones. This red haired little troll thinks he can go out there and unveil my secret plans to the world.

I still have the American public fooled; I'm really fucking good at that, enough to keep the orangutan lookin' meat head in their eyes as a conspiracy theorist. But no more will I allow this nonsense to continue and the 'innocent' demise of a far right wing conservative radio DJ douche bag will be imminent! Rush Limbaugh, Breitbart, Matt Drudge... All you mother fuckers better be watching your backs because I'm coming for you next! I already got Glenn Beck! Now, I pass it off to the other tips of the triangle as our evil villains Unknown Soldier and Doctor D'ville while they convince our Russian secret agent spy friend to 'disappear'. Just lik...'

Hillary Clinton falls to the floor and has a massive seizure, flailing around aimlessly with her head and limbs to a point of it almost looking like a pathetic job of acting and quite frankly a bit ridiculous. A scene of darkness fades out as a swarm of doctors, secret service agents, and members of the press surround the convulsing Mrs. Clinton.


Brightness arises out of black obscurity as we are now taken to a scene of that of a very well kept office room. Wooden oak surrounds the ceiling, walls, and floor and inside this room is but only three pieces of furniture. A red leather chair detailed in the finest of patterns of fabric and golden ribbons that tie in elaborate knots on the edge of the upholstery. A red leather cough that follows this similar pattern in design that holds the one and only demon dicked defiler himself; Unknown Soldier. He's sweating profusely so much to the point that it isn't only obvious that he is sweating, but by appearances looks like the leather cough he's laying upon might be as well. Passed out exhausted is the drug freak after a two week long meth binder.

In the third and final piece of furniture, an incredibly cheap and simple little massage table, rests Greggo facing the ceiling. Completely naked with a boner poking through the small towel and pitching a tepee. A pair of cucumbers rest over his eyes as it would appear he is waiting for a masseuse to arrive. Instead Doctor Louis D'ville opens the door and enters the room and immediately looks over at Greggo with a slightly startled look on his face. Shaking his head and instead rather just ignore that whole situation, he awakens Soldier with a slight nudge to his left shoulder. Soldier rises from a near death looking state, incredibly slowly like an overweight and very elderly woman trying to get out of a chair. Almost in some kind of trance or hypnotic type state of mind it would appear.

Doctor D'ville: "Who do you hate more, your mother or your father?"

Unknown Soldier: "Well, my mother was a demon named Stheno and my father was a bible thumping backwards brain dead idiot. That's why they call me a demi-demon you see. I'm half man, half demon."

Doctor D'ville: "I have to say Soldier, after taking a look at your charts and paging through notes and notes of interviews. Picking apart at that crack fiendish homo-necrophilactic sadomasochist fucked up head of yours the past few days. I think it's safe to say that I don't think you have the colon disease C-diff."

Soldier now sits up frantically at full attention and comes out of the trance.

Unknown Soldier: "Are you sure? Do you think we could run the tests again?"

Doctor D'ville: "No, we already ran the tests 666 times and remember you PROMISED that if we did the test exactly that many times that you would finally stop asking. I don't think this is a medical issue, my friend. I think this might just be something buried deep inside that crazy little mind that might be able to crack the case as to why you can't catch the disease. It's all in your head way down inside that fucked up sadistic black hold of a brain of yours."

Unknown Soldier: "For the love of SATAN! Doc, you might just be right! Well come on then, ask me some more questions and grab my dick so you can telepathically read my mind, like in that horrible television series 'Touch'

Doctor D'ville: "I'm such a good doctor that I don't have to grab your dick to read your mind."

Unknown Soldier: "Can if you want?"

Doctor D'ville: "Like I said, won't be necessary, just tell me about the first time you remember hearing about C-diff."

Unknown Soldier: "I believe it was when Scully accused Ghost Tank of having the disease, and like the little girl that Ghost Tank is, he had to go out and verify to a bunch of doctors that he never had the disease. Honestly, disrespecting a lot of the every day hard working wrestlers in the XWF that are STILL managing to operate while bravely fighting this sick colon disease. People like Vinnie Lane and Frodo Smackins. Tank has no respect for people with C-diff! I'll fucking kill that oaf footed when I get my hands on him! I swear to SATAN! Doc I will!"

Soldier then pulls out a crack pipe and proceeds to smoke it.

Unknown Soldier: "Sorry, Doc I was getting a little out of control. I need a dose of my medicine to calm me down, do you mind?"

Doctor D'ville: "By all means, but please, do go on I believe we were getting to a break through."

Soldier then passes the crack pipe to Doc who politely raises his hand and waves off the offer. He tosses it up to Greggo on the massage table who miraculously knew the pipe was coming, as he catches it in mid air, still blinded by the cucumbers over his eyes. Greggo simply puts the glass pipe in his mouth and proceeds to eat it. Chewing it and although it's causing him to bleed everywhere he none the less gnaws on the broken shards of glass in his mouth. Swallowing them whole even and looking rather pleased with himself while doing it.

Unknown Soldier: "Then I just remember...."

Sweating profusely again now and dropping back into that meth crazed trance, Soldier speaks as if being controlled like some kind of puppet.

Unknown Soldier: "WWX.... Head Chopped OFF... DOCTOR DIFF! DOCTOR DIFF! I'm seeing it all now Doctor, not you D'ville, but some other quack operating on me in the past a long time ago. He's injecting me with the vaccine for C-Diff! That god damn son of a bitch! I'll pound him harder then I'm going to punish Ghost Tank's asshole on Warfare again like that time he tried to pin me for the Xtrme title a few weeks ago. His rectum met my giant friendly adult toy, the 12 inch silver surfer!"

Doctor D'ville: "Then that's it! We've got to find this Doctor Diff and discover his antidote!"

Unknown Soldier: "Holy mother of SATAN! Doc, let's get to it!"

Soldier makes a mad dash for the door, excited as all hell to finally discover and overcome his c-diffless life. Doc stops him abruptly before he can get out of the room.

Doctor D'ville: "Hold on, first we have to go 'take care' of that Nazi right wing douche bag Russian secret agent 00-Racist Alex Jones. Hillary just called me before I came in here and ordered the hit."

Soldier seems disappointed, but knows the death of this tub of lard smeared with orange cat hair must die.

Unknown Soldier: "Damnit, well what must be done must be done. How is Hillary holding up, she ok?"

Doctor D'ville: "Just another heart attack or something, but she should be fine."

Unknown Soldier: "Thank SATAN!, now let's get out of here."

The two exit the room leaving only Greggo remaining. He stands up and the small towel over his package falls over. Revealing that it wasn't in fact his boner making it stand on end and holding up the towel, but rather a picture of Barney Green nude folded in a meticulously way to look like a giant penis. Anyone who's seen or knows about said picture can only see the absolute irony of this situation.


"I really can't fucking believe what I'm actually hearing here people! I mean has the entire XWF lost every drop of testicular fortitude they ever had? The only man with enough testosterone, evident by his shaggy bearded lumber jack Paul Buyon lookin' mother fucking appearance, is the guy who can't think of anything better to do with me, then to argue Army ranks?! This is the XWF Bearded War Bub, bullets and bombs are the least of my worries. Maybe you haven't set foot inside Frodo's little broom closet yet. Then you'll see a microcosm of the balls deep behavior you need to compete at my Xtreme Championship level.

But besides this pussy all the rest of you have to do is practically praise me and Doc and suck up to 'how big of a challenge' the two of us are going to be. Come on Peter. Come on Zeke, Ghost Tanks little freak, Come on Barney 'raisin dick' Green. Come on, Mcbitch. Come on John Black. Why can't one of you girly boys come out and call one of us a or something? Where the hell are your balls, boys? Barney Green I know you can't see them, but they are there and you need to fucking use them!

I mean, listen to John Black even openly admitting to how much he already remembered I humiliated him before long ago in the past. In a tag match that took place almost three fucking years ago. He still remembers that shit and I'm glad that he does because I'm 666 meth trips since then and waaaaaay out of it. So it's a good thing he brought that up and practically wrote my trash talking spiel for me against him. The scars still run deep that I cut in that , and he ain't never gon' forget'em!

Is Bearded War Pig seriously threatening me with cock gobblers, dickshits, and butt plugs? Maybe he hasn't taken a look at my record with dildos, feces, and gay sex? All of that is encouraged here by your one and only XWF Xteme Champion. I welcome that shit with open arms my friend. Bring your fucking guns to the arena that night too, and me and my good friend Michael Moore will both gladly help shove those up your bearded round buttocks. Because I got a beard too, and it's a shaggy forest of dark black sweaty pubic hair. You'll be meeting it up close and person on the upper side of your cheeks, when we meet in the ring and I make you get down on your knees and SUCK MY SATAN! DICK!

Hillary Clinton and I will rule the world and sit over our throne of the XWF and United States of America, and fat hairy ape men like you will be just as good as a worthless monkey slave. A slave to the Gloominati. And it won't end for you well like in that movie 'Planet of the Apes.' No, no my little piggy pie, things are definitely not going to end well for you. The devil ain't in Sin City you muscled headed orc meat head, he's on a fast train with a one way ticket to be inside your butt hole. This Wednesday night coming to your ass live on Warfare!"