The following scene takes place on March 20, 2014; immediately following XWF's enormous WWX pay per view. Round 3 has just come to an end, and the entire back stage area has gone in a complete panic after witnessing Unknown Soldier and Weapon Ashen remove one another's head; and in some kind of supernatural type of irony, the two heads landed on the opposite bodies. The two playing with swords during this big Gauntlet PPV event, had eventually got too out of control and then cut off the others heads at the exact same time and thus landing on the opposite's body at the exact same time as well. What a fucking coincidence, I know huh? But anyways and with an enormous amount of digression, we continue the story with both men having full blown seizures by not knowing how to make their minds react when placed in a different body. It came to a point where both just collapsed back stage after both had been eliminated simultaneously. A sea of people huddle over them in shock, aghast at the thought of the loss of the lives of these XWF mega superstars.

Thankfully, by the grace and good nature of the good lord SATAN! they were both still fully brain functional and alive, but their heads now operating the body movements of the others. As teams of medical doctors push their way to the front of the crowd, they do proceed to quickly surround Soldier along with Ashen and gather the other spectators to the side. They then begin discussing their plans on how to reverse this abnormal occurrence and set things back to the way they were before. One doctor in particular sticks out due to his greasy green hair, the natural oil building up in it is so thick that it's likely he hasn't bathed in months. This person is the one whom appears to be leading the group.

The disgusting doctor very deliberately and with little hesitation picks his nose, ear, and butt and then licks the tip of his finger. He then proceeds to stick it out in the air as if testing the direction of the wind like some kind of golfer, although they are inside an enclosed building. He nods to the rest of the group who can only look on in utter disbelief and disillusion to his strange methods. Sending wavering eyes and stares among the group of other doctors, passing the body language cue back and forth between them with that 'What the fuck is going on look?'

Doctor Diff: "There's only one way to fix this problem, so listen closely my fellow colleagues. But I'm afraid we must all swear an oath to secrecy so that Unknown Soldier never finds out we did this. In order to make this procedure work and get Soldier's head back on his body, I will have to inject him with a minor amount of the colon disease C-Diff so that his body can fight it off and he can become forever immune to it."

Random doctors begin a series of interjections between Doctor Diff and the rest of the doctors, having a medical war of words if you will.

"That sounds easy enough, and almost as more of a convenience to him, because he not only gets his old body back. But he also becomes forever immune to a disease that can possibly lead to him shitting himself to death. Sort of a win-win scenario I would have to say."

Doctor Diff: "No, you see, I am from the future, and two years from now C-diff is going to be really, really funny."

"How is that possible, a serious illness that kills people is nothing to laugh about."

Doctor Diff: "You once thought the same thing too long ago about a little thing called AIDS. But look at you all now, laughing hysterically in the year 2014 about how Maria Brink is infected with the disease. It will happen again folks!"

The strange stares and glares among the slew of doctors starts to diminish, and more seem to becoming intrigued by the valid points the disgusting leader like figure was making to them.

"How could our society let something like this happen in the future?"

Doctor Diff: "There was nothing we could do to stop it from not being funny. The rapidly growing group of in the Chicago scat scene were unstoppable in both their growing numbers and in their brilliant use of the Scatbear propaganda."

"Why should we care?"

Doctor Diff: "Because, Soldier is a damn sadomasochist necrophiliactic fecalpheliac for crying out loud. We can't allow him to get this disease and make an even bigger mockery of it in the future! If you all know the same Unknown Soldier that I do, I think you'll already understand then at how he would run with this and just how bad he can make it."

"Even if what you say is true, you can't just inject him with C-Diff and he'll be immune to it forever. It doesn't work that way like measles and polio and whatever kindergarten shots you may have received. That's not medically or physically possible I'm afraid."

Doctor Diff: "I should probably explain, you see, in the future absolutely fucking nothing makes any damn sense at all, ever. But somehow works it's way out in the end like that movie Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio. Spoiler alert here people of 2014, but in the future we've come to find out that the grim reaper, the mother fucking angel of death, is actually just some douche bag who likes to dress up in expensive fancy clothes and donate to orphanages for battered women and just be an absolute tool in general."

"So, what you're saying essentially is that the Grim Reaper is actually just Bono from the band U2?"

Doctor Diff: "Pretty much, yeah."

The crowd of doctors now have his complete attention, and it appears that they are starting to believe in his ridiculous theories after being convinced by hearing how crazy and ridiculous things have come to be in the near future.

"Go on then, begin the medical procedure and guide us on how to assist you."

Doctor Diff: "Thank you kindly, let us begin!"

All the other doctors gather around the sink and proceed to wash their hands, they then all put on a pair of latex gloves whilst the leading doctor guiding them in the surgery avoids all this activity and goes straight towards the victim, grabbing tools and preparing for the surgery.

"Sir, hospital policy insists that we wash our hands before beginning any medical procedure. We must implore that you comply with these regulations."

Doctor Diff: "Haha! I don't think so. They don't call me Doctor Diff for nothin' baby."

Doctor Diff goes on sawing off Soldier's head attached to Ashen's body with the same unwashed and unwrapped hands he had in his ears, up his nose, and up his butt.




"Where even do I start with this giant idiot Ghost Tank spewing out the most lackluster attempt at a trash talking session I've ever seen. It's sort of like trying to get Donald Trump to explain one of his policy stances in a more in depth discussion. They both just kinda stand there and start repeating the same stupid incorrect bullshit 6ver and 6ver and 6ver again, without any substantial plan of action or substance behind the words coming out of their mouths. Watching Ghost Tank try to trash talk me is like watching a Shade promo in it's entirety. After it's over I just kind of sit there in silence as if I'm watching a nuclear bomb mushroom cloud filled with stupidity, mixed in with nonsense, and then sprinkled on top with a lot of confusing coherency issues explode in front of me. Which is ironic when you think about it, since these two jerk offs have now decided to form a stable after playing wife swap for a month prior. For instance, Ghost Tank wants to congratulate me on my second title reign, even though it's listed all over the place that this is my third time as Xtreme Champ.

You'd think for a man who's nearly obsessed with winning the Xtreme title that he would know a little bit more about it's history, or at least the history of the man currently holding it and how to beat him, but I guess he's got better things to do. Like teach his daughter that it's ok to cheat on his wife and her mother by having an open relationship with secretary sluts in his investment banking company or whatever the fuck it is. I can't wait till Fuzen's 16th birthday when she explains to you that she's sucked off 666 dudes because it's cool to be in open relationships. Then the two of you can talk about the time she rubbed her dirty diaper on your Hart title when she was a little girl, because even out of your own admittance, this title is pretty much worth toilet paper. While I'll agree that me being a three time Xtreme Champion far outweighs your lone and short Hart title reign, I'm just not quite sure why you would actually want to down play it that much? Especially when for months you kept whining and moaning at frodo about getting your shot at the title. You see Oswald, even though you haven't been paying any attention to me I've sure been paying a lot of attention to you. Not by choice mind you, I just hear you blubbering like a little bitch almost daily about something you don't like.

Also, if you think that lacking confidence like a sad and lonely virgin is going to get you the Xtreme Championship then you are sadly mistaken. You think the two of us are alike? I beg to fucking differ . You 'might' win the title this time, but if you don't you will some day. That's what you are going to say to me, seriously? What kind of a pathetic attitude is that, come on man! You see, that's where we are very different Ghost Tank, you see I know for a fucking fact that I'm going to win this match and there's no shadow of a doubt in my soul that I wont. That's the difference between you and me and that's the reason I'm a THREE, not two, time champion and you never have and never will hold this title. You don't have an Xtreme attitude, so go back to playing dress up in tuxedos and sipping red wine like a !

Which brings me to my next point, what the hell are you doing going into a bar and going on a rampage just because a couple of people started getting a little loud. What the fuck, you're in a bar dude, what did you expect. That would be like me going into the library and raping everyone there because they weren't making any noise. But that's just more repetitive bullshit from one of your promos, Ghost Tank opens up his business portfolio, kisses his wife, and then later that evening goes on a murderous death killing rampage like that muslim in Orlando, but of course manages to make it back home in time to get home before 8 pm to read Fuzen a bed time story. You need to wake up and get a little more creative if you ever think you're going to become the Xtreme Champion. You need to come up with some better puns and match stipulations first and foremost. An ocean of blood? Peter and I already did that last week, in a literal ocean of period blood! Am I familiar with a meat hook match? No, but I've seen every Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie and even that one called the Midnight Meat Train so I'm familiar with what a fucking meat hook is.

So all I have to do is hang you up on the wall like a t-shirt in the closet? Sounds pretty fucking boring to me, but that's on you I guess, so in order to keep this match interesting I've decided to reveal to you and the rest of the XWF universe what the stipulation will be for the second part of our match. It will be called an....

Extra Electrified Xtreme Extravaganza!

Oh you're not familiar with the stipulations for that match? Let me fill you in, four giant lightening attracting antenna will be on the end of each section of the outside of the building, because the actual match itself will be on the roof of the Boston Gardens. A massive thunderstorm with shit tons of lightening mixed with rain to increase the conductivity of the electricity in the air will then begin. In the middle of the roof will start, and throughout the match we will fight to control, a 12 inch long solid metal dildo. The winner of this part of the match will be the person that controls this dildo while a stroke of lightening strikes it. Then they will need to insert the electrified dildo into their opponents anus and shock the ever living fuck out of them. Yeah Ghost Tank, I know what a meat hook is? Are you familiar with what a giant metal dildo is?"