SpineTwister
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: Teens, some men, few kids (booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
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Joined: Thu Dec 11 2014
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12-22-2014, 05:25 PM
Your promo was fantastic.
So much so that I'm fucking pissed off because I wrote a nasty douchey reply to it which evidently didn't get posted because my computer is having issues.
I paste it below not to contest the results -- Cain, congrats, thanks for carrying the newb through his first feud, and I have a concession speech in the pipeline I think you'll like -- but to advance what I think could be a good storyline between the pretentious Brit BDSMer and the down-to-earth Floridian Storms. I'm the heel here, Adrian. Let's work up a storyline for you to kick my poncey latex-clad ass.
Anyhow, upvotes and congrats tomorrow, gentlemen -- but like I said, my computer is having issues and I'm on my wife's machine. Whatever Lyster's tendencies to dominance, like all married men, in real life I'm the submissive.
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British Airways Flight 1221, en route from London to New York City:
SIMON LYSTER, "THE SPINE TWISTER" sits in First Class, a Laphroiag 18, neat and his laptop in front of him. At 6'2" and 265 pounds of blocky muscle, he needs the room First Class provides, and the luxuries are of course his due. His valets are in their assigned seats in economy. One must, after all, maintain the proper hierarchy in all things.
He considers the program in front of him:
The scene opens up to the famous news broadcaster and interviewer Chris Van Vliet. In the latest edition... [etc. I'm using my wife's computer so don't want to retranscibe, but I pasted some of your interview post....]
After a time LYSTER shakes his head. "So this is what journalism has come to? H.L. Mencken must be rolling in his grave." He closes the screen, opens a joint Ministry of Discipline/XWF live feed, and begins speaking:
"Well, well, well, junior high school has finally let out and Master Storms steps up to join the men.
"For starters: A gentleman with the name of Adrian Storms disparages my name as too much like a gay pornstar's? Seriously?
LYSTER smirks, then chuckles, then finally lets out a snort before reining in his mirth.
"How... ironic. If we were in a movie together, you'd take first billing.
"Your comments, of course, are rife with subtext that it's contemptible to be gay or work in the sex industry. Views, as it happens, I do not share. But then again, I'm not a hick from Florida.
"As for your opinion on my sideline ventures: I don't necessarily disagree. I make what sells. I don't claim to be an artist. I just give worms the shit they need to writhe around in. This supports my primary art: wrestling, a vocation in which I intend to give you a much-needed lesson in fundamentals.
"On maturity: Who is the adult: The man who follows his passions unashamedly and lives his life unencumbered by baggage, or the whiny angst-filled manchild perpetually moping about with his woe-is-me past and his teenage pout because OH MOMMY AND DADDY ARE DEAD AND DON'T TUCK ME INTO BED ANYMORE. Poor sad puppy. If Dexter carved your slattern of a mother into a skinsuit -- probably size XXXL if I know Floridians -- take control of your life, drop your bollocks, and do something about it instead of moaning for sympathy to a television presenter.
"Because while I agree with you that none of us die virgins, life doesn't, in fact, fuck us all. Some of us -- the elite -- fuck life."
LYSTER pauses, takes a sip of his 18. Truth be told, in his present mood he'd rather drink it rocks than neat, but with a single malt that's chavvy and, as Storms' wardrobe clearly indicates, he'll be dealing with no shortage of chavs when he arrives in the States.
He continues.
"But as I told Mister Arkham: Extracurriculars are just that. At the end of the day, none of our opinions on the other's lifestyle, background, or personality are especially garmane to our match.
"So, in the interest of the hard-as-nails ruggedness you seem to fetishize an which you so transparently lack, let us act like professionals and discuss the reality of wrestlers wrestling on a wrestling show.
"I outweigh you by 23 kil-- sorry, 50 pounds, I shouldn't have brought up the metric system to someone who is clearly a product of the American public schools. I've studied your footage. I think I'm stronger than you. I know I'm a much better mat wrestler than you. If you seriously think you're going to get in close enough to twist any part of my body, it's your suicide, boy.
"You're faster. You're scrappy, I grant you. You'll get in your shots. Your Eternal Rest finisher, for all its pretentious cue-the-Trent-Reznor douchiness of a name, is a dangerous move and I'll do well to avoid it.
"But all I need is one takedown, one sweep, one solid lock. I stretch you on the mat and your career is over.
"Tell you what: When you're in traction, you'll need some entertainment. I'll have my people send you a complimentary copy of ANAL FLOWERS AND GOLDEN SHOWERS HENTAI BBW FISTING KINK 8."
LYSTER logs off, settles back into his seat, closes his eyes and drifts away on the peaty burn of the scotch.
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