[[[ The scene folds open to an empty street. The old buildings of Johanneshov, Stockholm, Sweden remind us of old times. The cars even seem old. In the distance a man speed walks towards the camera at a semi-fast pace. He's wearing a purple head band, sweat pants, and a gray sweatshirt about two sizes larger than it needs to be. His Ipod and heart rate monitor are clipped to the elastic around his waist, that he checks about every four seconds. Sweating, panting, seemingly beat down... the man approaches the camera and slightly bumps into it. Oops.]]]

"Oh HEYOOO!! Heh heh! Didn't see you there!"

[[[ It's none other than the XWF superstar, Calypso. He stops for a moment and catches his breath, looks down to his heart rate monitor and checks the time. ]]]

"Just doing a little bit of training before my big match, ya know?! Nothing like doing some speed walking in some brisk, chilly weather, right? See if you can keep up!"

[[[ Calypso begins to speed walk again and the camera follows closely behind him. Calypso turns around and as we continues his workout, he speaks to us. ]]]

"Yah know what? I'm feeling pretty damn good today! After a nice, well-balanced breakfast, a stiff workout on the bow-flex, and a couple muscle shakes I'm ready to take on the world, brah!!"

[[[ Calypso stops at a street sign and leans against it to catch his breath. ]]]

"It's funny how a game of cards, well, what turned into a tragic game of Connect-4, could turn into something like this, ya know? My boy Vinnie may have had this up his sleeve the whole time, but lemme tell ya, yo... It ain't no thang. I gaht this. Lemme tell ya somethin' G-T."

[[[ A Swedish child walks by drinking a small bottle of chocolate milk. The child takes a small swig from it, only to get it taken away instantly by Calypso. ]]]

"I don't take shit... From nob--"

[[[ The child reaches out and punches Calypso in the balls. As Calypso drops the bottle of chocolate milk and gasps, the child catches it in mid-air. ]]]

"Jävla fitta!!" the child exclaims as he merrily continues along his merry little way.

"Huk... noboday..."

[[[ Calypso picks up his bearings and begins to walk down the street at a much slower pace. ]]]

"We can cut that part, right?"

[[[ Calypso rests his hands on his knees once more. He breathes in and out as if he was a woman in labor. Catching his breath, he rises up and looks straight into the camera. ]]]

"Chocolate milk isn't very good during a workout anyway... Well, since we're here. I'm scheduled in a match this week! Isn't that something?? Crazy stuff, bruh. And of all things against a MONSTER!! Grrrrr... Raaaah! Whatev's. It don't mattah to me, bruh. This Tank guy seems like he has more fetishes with inflicting pain on himself than having actual matches. Or, how he says, inflicting pain on his opponents."

[[[ Calypso sees a coffee shop on the corner of the street and his eyes brighten up a bit. ]]]

"Oh, flying titties... I could sure go for a chai tea. I'll be right back!"

[[[ Calypso runs into the small coffee shop away from the camera and disappears. A few mintues later Calypso comes back out holding a large cup of his chai tea and goes to take a large drink from it. The lid pops off and the hot tea comes flying out and splashes all over his chin and the front of his sweatshirt. ]]]

"OW!!! HOT! HOT!! HOT!!!"

[[[ At that moment a bycyclist rides by and bumps the styrofoam cup from his hand and it falls on the ground. ]]]

"Sunnnnnuvvvaaah!"

"Titta på det fitta!!" the Swedish bycyclist shouts at Calypso.

[[[ Calypso picks the cup up from the ground and frowns at it's emptiness. ]]]

"Well, so much for that."

[[[ Calypso tosses the cup into a garbage can close by, only to miss and it fall back on the ground. ]]]

"Oh, screw it!"

[[[ Calypso begins to walk away as someone behind him speaks. ]]]

"Ska du plocka upp det?!" the voice says from behind him.

[[[ Calypso does a 180 and sees a police officer standing behind him. ]]]

"Uhh. Uhh."

[[[ The police officer points his baton down at the empty cup and begins shaking it towards Calypso. ]]]

"I'm-- I'm sorry! Here!"

[[[ Calypso reaches down and picks the container up from the ground and manages to stick it in its rightful place. ]]]

"Ahh. American... Yeahs?"

[[[ Calypso looks down to the ground and shuffles his feet a bit. ]]]

"Yeah......"

"Figure. American waste lay down American waste in MY city? No. You pick it up is right for you. You pick it up, save you much trouble. You carry on now. Go!"

[[[ Calypso tucks his proverbial tail between his legs and 'carries on' as the good officer wishes. The workout he had is now ruinied. As he continues to walk down the street, he notices the camera still following him. ]]]

"You get all that? You're making me look like a douche, bruh. I'm. No. Douche."

[[[ Just as Calypso finishes his sentence he bumps into a light pole. Not paying attention to it and being all fired up at the moment, he throws a small, angry punch at it and cringes. ]]]

"Sssssssss...... Didn't hurt.. I'm okay."

[[[ Calypso waves his hand back and forth a few times and scowls at the light pole as he walks around it. The camera continues to follow him. ]]]

"You're still here?! Alright. You wanna know what I think?! This whole thing is stupid. Do I look like I'm ready to compete? No. Do I look like I can take on a guy like that weirdo that takes pleasure in shocking himself? No way. G-T, bruh... You think I would just settle with just challenging you? You think I would just settle being stepped on and shoved aside? You're absolutely right, I lost a bet. My bruh, Vinnie and I, we had a bet with each other. And well, I did lose that bet. I tell ya what though, we have another bet going on now. Vinnie bets that I can't beat you! Well, bruh, I think I can. The weird stip you chose for our match kinda freaks me out a little bit. You ever see Strangeland? I have, dude. Meat hooks? Are you kidding me? Dude, I've screwed up my own laundry before and you trust me to get a little bit of training and inject you with some metal hooks?! It kinda grosses me out to be honest. I don't even think I have it in me..."

[[[ Calypso dry heaves a couple of times and swallows. ]]]

"You trying to talk me out of this match made me want to do it even more. Sure you're big. Sure you're strong. I've seen you lose though. I've seen where this pain tolerance of yours gets the best of you. I might be a 'newb' to the XWF, but that doesn't mean that I'm coming into this totally blind. You don't care about winning or losing. All you care about is hurting your opponent. Well, I dunno, but isn't that kind of destroying the purpose?? Maybe you should've joined the army or something dude... Or a football player? You're totally big enough! And those dudes inflict pain on each other everyday!!"

[[[ Calypso notices a tattoo parlor across the street from him. He can't read the sign but notices the open window and all of the tribles and pictures posted across it. ]]]

"This is a test of pain then?! Lemme show you what I'm capable of then!"

[[[ Calypso walks across the street. He stops as a car passes in front of him and misses him by about a half a meter. The driver beeps their horn and flips off Calypso as they pass by. He gives them a 'My bad' and waves to them as they pass him. He walks into the glass door that clearly says "DRA" across it. But unable to speak Swede, he unknowingly continues to push on the door. A small woman walks up to the door from behind the counter and pushes on the door from the inside. She doesn't say a word but welcomes Calypso into the small parlor. He walks up to the counter.]]]

"Uh. Hellooo, laday! I'm looking to get a piercing today, cool?"

[[[ The woman just looks at him. ]]]


"Um. I don't speak Swedish. Um."

[[[ Calypso points to his nipples and squeezes them. ]]]

"Piercing? Umm.. Piercing, no? Yes?"

[[[ The woman leaves behind the counter and goes behind the curtain behind her leaving Calypso standing in front of the counter. ]]]

"Okaaaay. Well, tell you what Ghost Muffin. I'll show you what..."

[[[ Calypso waves his hands in front of his face mystically... ]]]

"Calypso is all about it, bruh! You think you can take pain? You think you intimidate me by lighting yourself up on a cage wired up with electricity? Lemme tell ya bro... I've been shocked PLENTY of times. But this ain't no electrified cage match, bruh. It's a meat hook match right? Well, what would you say if I throw a couple of meat hooks in me BEFORE..."

[[[ Calypso pinches his nipples. ]]]

"Oh yeah bruh. BEFORE our match. What would you say to that? Still think you're some kind of freak? Still think you gaht what it takes?! Filming yourself getting all fried... PUH-leeez... Camera tricks and douche-baggery if you ask.. Calypso... I'm performing the real mutha-effin' deal, yo. That is if... Where did she go?"

[[[ The woman appears from behind the curtain. ]]]

"You want pierce, yes?"

"Awwwee yeah."

[[[ Calypso looks at the camera, points his guns, then holsters them. ]]]

"Ya'll ready for this shit or what?"

"Who do you talk to? You come with me now." the woman says and without hesitation leaves the room once again.

[[[ Calypso walks around the counter and follows the woman to the back room. When he reaches the station in which his work of art is to be performed, which is a steel chair next to a small card table. A large, few hundred pound, bald, Swedish man sits beside the table. Calypso stops in his tracks. ]]]

"You sit now." the woman says to Calypso.

"What? There?!"

[[[ Calypso points to the steel chair next to the large man who is holding a six-inch needle in his hand looking at him with wide eyes. ]]]

"Sit. Now. Take off your shirt." the woman says to Calyso.

[[[ Calypso takes a step back. ]]]

"Well now, heh, just wait a minute..."

[[[ The woman reaches out and grabs Calypso by the collar and rips his sweatshirt easily off from his back. His pasty, pale white skin is revealed. ]]]

"I think maybe I'm having some second thoughts.. Uh.. Who's this guy?"

"YOU SIT! NOW!"

[[[ Calypso basically falls into the steel chair and the large man immediately beings to apply a cotton ball soaked in alcohol to his right nipple. ]]]

"Now, just wait a minute. How did you know I wanted.... ah.. uh... AH.... AHHHH!!!! OWWW!!! UHHH..."

[[[ The large man immediately takes the large needle and, like butter, shoves the needle through Calypso's left nipple. ]]]

"O M G... O M G... O.... EHMM...."

[[[ As the man removes the needle from Calypso's nipple, Calypso looks down at it as the man finishes the job by placing a loop earring into it. Calypso looks at it. He then looks at the man.. Smiles at him. And faints. ]]]

[[[ About five minutes later a splash of water hits Calypso in the face. ]]]

"Du okej, fitta? You okay, yah?"

[[[ Calypso gags on the water for a minute, squints and sees the woman standing in front of him holding an empty cup. ]]]

"You wake up now. Job done. You pay and you go now, yah."

[[[ Calypso looks down and sees that both of his nipples have been pierced. ]]]

"Oh mah gahd... What the... What the... What did you do to me??"

[[[ The woman points to her nipples. ]]]

"You want, yah? You want now you go, fitta."

[[[ Calypso rises up from the steel chair and rubs his newly pierced nipples and looks in the mirror. ]]]

"Oh mah gawd..."

[[[ His nipples bleed a bit from the recent piercing and Calypso feels a bit queezy. ]]]

"My shirt?"

[[[ The woman grabs his shirt from a close coat rack nearby and throws it at Calypso, hitting him in the face. ]]]

"You go now! You piss all over chair! You pay and you go now!"

[[[ Calypso looks down and indeed notices his crotch is completely soaked along with his brand new running sneakers and the area around where he was sitting. ]]]

"Suh.. Sorry. I'm not used to--"

"You pay and you go now!!! I take money for chair too! You go!"

[[[ Calypso jumps to the woman's voice and reaches into his damp pocket. He pulls his damp money from it and places it on the table and stumbles out of the parlor pulling his heavy sweatshirt away from his recently pierced nipples. As he reaches the outside he looks down at them and begins to blow on them. ]]]

"Yah see, bruh?! Ya see, Ghost Tank! I'm ready bruh! I've already started the process. I can take it. Oh man.. this hurts."

[[[ Calypso blows on his nipples again. ]]]

"You think you have something on me with your experience in the department of pain? You got it wrong, bruh. I can take it. That little experience there was just a little... Well, it caught me by surprise, okay?! I got this."

[[[ Calypso blows on his nipples again. ]]]

"I've watched you from afar dude. I seen you work. I seen you at War Games. You throw yourself into the fire just to get burned. You put yourself in matches that really serve no point, just to inflict pain on yourself. You talk and you talk and you talk about how you want to hurt people. But when it came down to hurting Mastermind, what happened? A few short days later, he pinned the Xtreme Champion. What do you do? Come back and say you didn't WANT to hurt him that bad.. Just so you could go back and hurt him again. Didn't that dude beat you dude? I think he did. You simply come back and say that you left a little bit left so you can go back and hurt him some more. Man. I dunno about you. I think you're lacking in the inflicting pain on others part of your mission here. I think you're better at hurting yourself more than anything. You wanted this 'meat hook' match? I kinda felt a little weary about it at first, but it's not about me... It's... It's about you? Isn't it? You don't want to inflict pain on me.. You want me to inflict pain on YOU!! You're a sicko man. Just a plain, weird, juvenile freakin' sicko man. That's why you're good buddies with that Frodo-guy, who's also pretty sick. The guy shoved a broken mop handle up my..."

[[[ Calypso grabs his face, remembering that dreadful night in the closet with Frodo... ]]]

"Ya know. I see it now. You wanted me to beg for the match with you didn't you? It wasn't about honor. It wasn't about the bet I had with muh boy, Party-Boy... It was all about you all along. You're guys can be sick together because after this freak show, I'm out. You guys can have each other and shove mop handles up each others...."

[[[Calypso dry heaves for a moment.]]]

"... Ya know what I'm sayin'... You guys... Uck.. Huck..."

[[[Calypso dry heaves a bit more...]]]

"Just remember yo... When I'm done with you.. hmk... Huk.. You'll know that you've never.... and never will... ever... have face.. hmk... have faced ever.. a guy like..."

[[[Calypso clumsily waves his hands in front of his face... a little mystically but not really...]]]

"Calyp..... soooooooo...."