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Unknown Soldier · **02-23-2013, 02:46 AM**

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I say to you welcome. Is this your first trip inside the mind of pure insanity? Have you chosen to make your first leap into the mind of pure madness that is the sights and sounds you are about to witness? Have you prepared yourself enough at all to continue listening to the exhilarating music of MC SATAN! whilst you delve into the mind that is, was, and forever will be Unknown Soldier? Not exactly the type of thing you were expecting to hear when you pressed the switch on the remote to watch your first Unknown Soldier promo, was it? The answer is quite simple, and before I go any further I must introduce myself.

My name is MC SATAN! and I'm way too fucking legit in the XWF to quit.

Now, whether you're a past, present, or future meal that has already been digested, or are still in line for slaughter. I want you all to sit back, relax, and puke your guts out. I have a special surprise for you all tonight as my live action life will test your gag reflexes. I call you all meals, because that's exactly what you are to Unknown Soldier, nothing more and nothing less. When you look at a person you see character, personality, and appearance. Unknown Soldier sees...

Blood...

Flesh...

Bones...

He really hates the 'bones' aspect of the ordeal, due to the fact that most times when he consumes human flesh he does so expeditiously with no hesitation or care. His brain and body is programmed to crave such things causing him to ignore obstacles of the feast along the way. The lunatic always wondered why he was able to order chicken wings boneless, but not human legs? What kind of a world is this where human meat can't be boneless just like chicken wings? Not exactly the world Unknown Soldier would have chosen to live in, but I guess he'll have to make due with what's presented by you boney creatures.

The slight drop of blood immediately sends the psycho into some sort of 'feeding frenzy.' In this fury he generally shovels body parts into this mouth without much thought of the bones chipping and cracking the enamel and surface of his teeth.

I want all the wrestlers in this match to take note of this before everyone starts removing limbs in the middle of the Xtreme Bloodbath match. You may find that your left arm has now become a part of Soldier's diet and the way I see it now...

Danny Devia -- Breakfast

Neil Capra -- Lunch

Stagger Jones -- Dinner

Yes... Unknown Soldier will eat you, this isn't some kind of 'sick' trick or game I'm playing with you...

It's been over a month since his last feeding, and now he's ready to feast on three new XWF rookies.

We now ask that you close your eyes and fall into a trance that will waft you away into the deeper minds of insanity. A place where imagination becomes reality or otherwise known as a dream within a dream. Sit back and let your mind drift into a world of pure enigma and fantasy while we send you flinging through a tunnel. Watching as the stars and beams of light travel past you at an alarming pace. Scared? You should be, for you are about to enter the dreams of Unknown Soldier through a parallel universe designed to cater to the reality of a deranged, Satanic, and blood thirsty freak. A maniac who's thirst and hunger has been put on hold for over a month and has finally been allowed to subdue his unfathomable desire for blood. Many have wondered why? Why has the freak made his way back to the XWF ring? The answer is quite simple. Unknown Soldier is just...

The sudden stop of the galaxies and stars flying past you as now come to an end. A square room with three sides appears out of nowhere in your vision. One side open to view the inside of a floating room in the middle of outer space, or at least what appears to be outer space. One single room, not a house or patio or combination of any of these things. The single room is a bath room, filled with nothing but rotting corpses, blood, and XWF's favorite villain, Unknown Soldier in the thick of it all. Loving every minute of it, naturally. The demonic do-badder is sifting in a pool of his own filth and random parts of human flesh. Where these limbs and body parts could have possibly come from is for you to decide. This is, after all, a figment of your own imagination being explained to you through narration by MC SATAN! That's me.

Our crack-brained friend is bathing in what appears to be this massive mess of organs and bodily fluids. The tub is filled with more appendages missing from the human body than one can imagine. Eyeballs, brains, testicles... basically you name it and it's floating in the tub next to our insane companion. The smell is simply unbearable, but soon leaves your train of thought as your forced to watch the maniac devour limbs and organs as if they were potato chips. The sight, smell, and feeling inside your gut is horrendous, but nothing compares to the sound of teeth pulling away cartilage, tendons, and veins from a fully constructed human limb. Think of the last time you ate a steak and the layers of fat and gristle snapped back in your face when you tried to tear them apart. Did you vomit yet watching the depiction of this scene unfold in front of you? If not than congratulations, you are an official Unknown Soldier fan.

The sadistic clown now pulls out a scrubbing brush that he was hiding underneath the blood with his opposite hand. The hand not holding the brain and severed leg that he was recently shoveling down his throat. It's important to use the brush to clean your back. To rub all those blood, guts, and gore all over the skin in order to be fully prepared. Not just in his mouth for feast, how else did you expect him to prepare for an X-treme Bloodbath match? While all his stupid opponents are doing sit ups, push ups, or sticking to training regimens like many would expect from a rookie. What a bunch of imbeciles. Hello!

! This is a Bloodbath match here, not a wrestling event. The sadistic Satanist begins to speak as bits of flesh dribble off the edge of his chin.

Mister Midnight 666 666 666: "It's too bad that blood is thicker than water, or else you sick perverts would be in a real fantasy staring at my "Lil' Satan" like a bunch of artists in a picture gallery. It's been too long since I have addressed the faithful minions of SATAN! and those foolish enough to oppose him. Although I won't put any blame on the three victims I intend to slaughter this evening. Who was it again? Neil Crapper, Stutter Jones, and Danny Devito? The three rookies placed in the match before me had no realization of what type of ordeal they were getting themselves in. So, let me be the first to formally present the facts to all of you. My name is Unknown Soldier and I'm the best the XWF has EVER had to offer. I once tore through every member of this roster like a tornado. The blood lust was either successful, or many excused themselves from the roster and disappeared out of fear."

Mister Midnight 666 666 666: "But you see, Neil Crapper was right, I do live in a distorted reality. The imagination that you see before you today is a prime example Mr. Crapper. I'm a cannibal, with no repercussions or thought for the damage it may cause to my body, whether that be physically or mentally. Why is that Neil? Because I worship SATAN! and his bidding prescribes that I feast on the souls, brains, and blood of the weak and infantile. That's where the three of you all come in. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner and from the looks of it, a possible three course meal for each occasion. Generally I start with the feet in order to cause as much pain as possible for the victims. If I ate your head first that wouldn't be very exciting to see you die without suffering. That's the best part, after all..."

Mister Midnight 666 666 666: "...isn't that right Mister Mystery? Or should I call you Sid Feder? Nah... It doesn't really matter if you're Sid Feder/Mr. Mystery/Jesus Christ or Barney the dinosaur, it all taste the same to me. Mystery meat sounds intriguing... don't mind if I do, and this time I bet it's not salisbury steak like those bastard lunch ladies used to always trick me with in the lunch line! All I want is Spaghetti with Blood sauce, is that too much to ask?"

Mister Midnight 666 666 666: Spaghetti and blood sauce? Hmmm... Maybe I can grind Mystery's face into shoe string potatoes, fry them, and stir them up with the spilled blood and create myself my own 'bolognese' sauce by mixing his innards in the blender. Wow, better not get too carried away here or Gordon Ramsay will be ripping off my recipes...

Mister Midnight 666 666 666: "I also don't believe you are Sid Feder because that individual was smart enough to steer clear from my path and knew better than to flap his lips about me. So I suggest that if Sid Feder would be foolish enough to create an alter ego/alias that he would be smart enough to travel his path in a different direction than mine as he did before. Stay the fuck away from me Mr. Mystery! or guess what? I'll take you back to elementary school and teach you the art of 'Spilling Bloodshed 101.' You may love death, destruction, pain, anguish, and bloodshed. But there's one thing I can make as a sworn guaranteed to you personally Mister Mystery.

I fucking guarantee...

That you don't love it as much as I do."

Mister Midnight 666 666 666: "As you can clearly see I am neck deep in a sea of disposal limbs and organs. If this were a pool full of blood, I'd show Michael Phelps how to win a few gold medals. Get it? Got it? Good! Now shut the fuck up and waste your time feeding on losers like Sebastian Duke and teaming with posers like Peter Gilmour. If you're lucky, maybe I'll give you sloppy seconds on John Madison..."

Mister Midnight 666 666 666: "Which brings me to explain the nature of my return. John fucking Madison! You see, Mr. Madison has been meandering around the XWF chopping off heads and running the Black Circle.

's new gang of misfits, who get along about as well as a redneck and a punk rocker. Don't you see why I targeted you Madison, isn't it simple enough? I guess not, so here's what I'm going to do. The 'new thing' around here in the XWF is to call it a 'mystery' so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Can you solve the mystery before I eat your face? Can you John?"

Mister Midnight 666 666 666: "Single handily I have caused a rift in the structure of the 'African American' Circle by proclaiming my lust for the blood of two of it's members. It was either by fear or jealousy I managed to stir the inner workings of the circle to the point where two of its members have denounced it's strongest part, Lexi Sheckler. In Madison's case I suggest fear. Why? Because his immediate reaction to being on top of the lust was to run to Sheckler for assistance. Pathetic when he finally realized she wasn't interested in taking orders from Madison. Can't say that I blame her. Sheckler, on the other hand, is simply jealous of me because I know SATAN! I heard the whispers of your interest in the Satanic religion Sheckler and I understand why you'd be jealous. I mean, SATAN! is the most powerful entity to ever exist so I imagine you might be a bit jealous to see that me and the big man downstairs are practically father and son. Although, I assume most parents don't receive fellacio from their siblings as a sign of worship. You know, that whole 'Dong Worshiping the Devil thing.' Does anyone remember that? Is it not cool to say that anymore? You tell me, your the one listening and imagining a 1990's Hip Hop song this whole time. Talk about outdated and no longer in style."

[Image: tumblr_m8np8iAZAx1qh3h2fo1_500.jpg]

Now Wake up!!

Get out of my head and let me feed!!

--------------

You suddenly feel like you are being shaken as your eyes open and you are brought back to another world...

Mrs. Wong: "Time for your dinner Dante."

You walk next to the door that has a small hole designed for feeding tray to slip through. After snatching the meal from Mrs. Wong. You then look down to notice that, in a way, it was exactly what you dreamed about.

Salisbury steak again...

You toss the disgusting looking piece of meat on the ground and go back to an uninterrupted slumber. It's time to go back to sleep and dream about something a little more appetizing again.

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