Mark Flynn
Champions get their name in red!
XWF FanBase:
The IWC
(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Aug 01 2021
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04-15-2025, 07:47 PM
”…I’m just saying… we should approach Mister Powers… tactfully.”
”Tactfully? I’m the TACT-FUL-EST man alive, Irmano!”
”...Certainly, Mr. Fl-... Graves. But… What would someone who doesn’t know our intentions think?”
Irwin gestures at…
Miss Furry, wielding a cross and bible…
Peter Parkor, leaning against a pitchfork…
‘Graves’, sporting his Dark-Warrior mask, torch and stake.
…
”Okay… vibes are… angry-mobbish… BUT!”
”*ahem*...” Irwin gestures toward ‘Graves’’s chest.
NKWB, in a baby-bjorn… His onesie reads ‘YOU’RE NOT WELCOME HERE!’
”THAT’S ABOUT NOT WELCOMING VAMPIRES, IR-DAWG. THEY CAN’T ENTER UNINVITED!”
”...Fine. We’ll… re-conceptualize…”
”Agreed! We must succinctly-yet-completely explain… “
”One, the Vampire Council aims to breed new vampires…”
“Two, they want necro-magics in Powers’ frequently-resurrected body…”
“Three, WE’LL stop them!”
…
”Got it.”
Graves’ foursome observe…
…As Richard Powers squats on his couch’s arm, consuming the film intensely…
”Sir…” Irwin whispers… “WHY 2004’s Van Helsing?”
”It PERFECTLY summarizes Powers’s situation, Ir-dawg!”
”...But, you didn’t EXPLAIN that! You barged in and popped on ‘Van Helsing: Karaoke Edition’! With no context!!”
”...Are you implying I should’ve gone theatrical cut? Karaoke Edition is how Steven Speilberg’s brother MEANT his opus to be experienced!”
”*ahem*”
”Mister Powers, we’ll explain…”
”What’s to explain? Dracula represents the Vampire Council, breeding new vampires…”
“I must be Frankenstein, powered by necromagics…”
“And you all… Van Helsing? Opposing the Council?”
”…Correct.”
”Master Graves’s Van Helsing! CAT-egorize me(ow) as Anna!”
”Kate Beckinsale? Honey, you wish.”
”And I’m Ca-”
”Peter called Carl!”
”What?!? When?!?”
”SILENCE.”
”...This film summarized your intentions perfectly…”
“But, you’ve forgotten one detail, ‘Graves’!”
”I NEVER FORGET DETAILS!”
”Except when the Council leader bought your storage-unit-home…”
”...One time!”
”You’ve forgotten…”
Richard pulls… A SHIV from his cargo shorts!
”I HATE YOU, FRANKIE!”
”Franki-...Riiiiigh… you think I’m Frankie Duke…”
”Didja forget that detail?”
”Irwinner, keep talking and you’ll be Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film!”
”Your BENEFIT-HOG father sent you! He took my resurrection insurance! Now, you’ll take ME to the Vampires!”
”Powers, talk SENSE! Why would I… ‘Micheal Graves’... consort with the Vampire Council?!?”
…Irwin whispers in ‘Graves’’s ear..
”...My colleague’s reminded me that… as Union Co-President, I… advocated for vampire workplace accommodations and… became a… vampire-rights icon.”
”Stay back, Franklin!” Richard performs several air-stabs…
”Seriously, Rich! I’m… ‘Micheal Graves’.”
”If you’re Graves, why do you hesitate before saying your name?”
”...Dramatic pause.”
”And why was Micheal Graves a chubby uggo!?!”
Powers raises ‘Graves’ shirt…
”While *YOU’RE chiseled from marble and SPITE?!?”
”...#DadFitness!”
”Puh-LEEZE! Your ‘socialist-revolution’? Your FATHER MANIPULATING the XWF into embracing his DICTATORIAL CONTROL!”
”I’M NOT FRANKIE DUKE!”
”Prove it! Unmask, FRANKIE!”
”FINE I W-”
Irwin whispers into ‘Graves’’s ear…
”...*ahem*...My student *just* reminded me… I can’t unmask… Allergies.”
…
”Fake-cough.”
”Sir, you didn’t cough, you just said ‘fake-cough.’”
”No thanks, IDIOTS! During Van Helsing’s intermission, I called someone who’ll ACTUALLY protect me!”
Knock-knock!
”Perfect timing!”
The handle jiggles…
”…Door’s stuck?”
”IT’S NOT STUCK, GET IN HERE!”
The door kicks in!
”Sup.”
”Trent Strategy! Professional vampire-hunter!”
‘Graves’ scoffs. ”This GOON can’t protect you!”
”Psshaw! I’ve fought vampires over TWO decades!”
”Fought vampires? Or *defeated* vampires?”
…Strategy blushes.
”This guy’s been walloped by every bloodsucker he’s faced! Rich, I’m offering Wrestling Union protection!”
”PASS! Your socialist, public-welfare vampire-protection can’t beat HYPER-CAPITALIST vampire-protection! I paid COLD-HARD CASH for Trent’s services!”
”That money was… hauntingly cold.” Trent shivers.
”Scram, you fraud-socialist LOSERS!”
…
”...My Union Co-President oath… means I honor each roster member’s wishes… If you’d prefer… Trent Strategy’s protection…”
”I DO.”
…The foursome vacates.
Why do I proclaim Revolution?
I know the corporate wheel’s inevitable path.
The ‘meritocracy’ LIE.
THE FRAUDULENT CLAIM… that cream rises to the top.
Case-in-point?
My pal, Flynn.
TWO YEARS at ELO’s peak!
(Although #FakeNewsELO somehow mixes us up…)
UNDEFEATED across the Crossover Era!
Dominated the ENTIRE WRESTLING UNIVERSE…
…
Is he main-eventing?
Celebrated?
Acknowledged?
No.
Pariah.
Leper.
UNTOUCHABLE..
…
Today’s stars… Aurora, Syn, SEB…
When they mention Flynn?
They say he proclaims Revolution…
As FALSE VALOR…
A wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing.
IMPOSTOR.
…
Meanwhile.
What swamp creature crawls onto our shores?
Larry Tact.
Constant Crossover LOSER.
…
But, you’re not *just* a wrestler, huh, Larry?
You’re a brand.
CEO!
#HASHTAGINNOVATOR!
SELF-FELLATING Champion!
…See.
Flynn learned first-hand.
Despite beating every opponent on the Crossover World Tour?
The invites dried up.
Porter? Page? Fenix? Cross-over pioneers?
Couldn’t run their *precious* golden idols against FUCKING TALENT.
Couldn’t risk their FUTURE MARKETABILITY.
…
But, they kept throwing you bones, huh, Larry?
Because you’re MAR-KET-ABLE.
While other guys hone their craft?
You TWEET, generating IMPRESSIONS!
Others celebrate ‘sport’? You worship ‘entertainment.’
…
You run the ropes…
But you ain’t a wrestler.
You’re a corporate plant.
The FOX-in-the-henhouse.
…
The Tact Marketing Machine’s running full-steam..
You lost your first two Warfare matches…
But you’re main-eventing! Tagging with SEB!
Your only Anarchy win was against PENNYFARTHING!
But you’re facing the Anarchy champion.
…
Larry.
I’m trying to EMPOWER the workers.
Not manipulate them.
So, I can’t FORCE them to see the real you…
…
But I can show them.
I can OUT-CLASS you.
I can make the guy calling himself Wrestling’s GENERAL PATTON look like GENERAL TSO.
I can HUMILIATE you.
…
That’s how I’ll protect my flock.
Driving the fox from the henhouse…
Revealing…
That You?
Aren’t one of us.
And that?
Is a #TactFact.
| FLYNN’s ‘GRAVES’’S HONDA FIT |
”Sir… Powers rejected us!...Why’re we still here?”
”...Because, as Co-Union President, my job’s to help the whole roster, not just thosethat like me.”
…
”So, all-night stake-out?”
”Yep.”
”…Gotta pass-the-time…”
”Yep.”
…
”Wanna Van Hel-”
”Irwinner, I was *literally* about to say, let’s Van-Helsing.”
‘Graves’ retrieves his DVD!
”It’s better every rewatch.” Irwin giddily claps.
…‘Graves’ nods at his backseat.
”Feline, before we Van-to-the-Helsing, any action in Powers’ room?”
Miss Furry lowers her binoculars.
”Nothing, Master! Just Powers… Strategy… Powers’s trick-mirror…”
”...Trick-mirror?”
”Powers’s mirror only shows *his* reflection! Narcissistic, much?!?”
…
Quote:”THEY CAN’T ENTER UNINVITED!”
Quote:”…Door’s stuck?”
”IT’S NOT STUCK, GET IN HERE!”
The door kicks in!
”SHIT!”
‘Graves’ breaks down the door!
…Room? Empty.
…Window? Open.
”FUUUUUUUUUCK!”
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