There was a ton on my mind on the flight from New York to Oklahoma City.  I had left a napping Lucy Wylde behind in the bedroom cabin about an hour ago and came out to the main sitting area to listen to music, play my guitar, and generally clear my head.  I knew what was happening tonight.  I didn’t like it even a little bit but I had to face the music.  I had to face thousands upon thousands of my supporters that no doubt wanted very little else tonight other than to watch me do what I do better than anyone.

I’d have to break their hearts.

In the process, I’d be breaking mine as well.

To AAW’s credit, they’ve been patient.  They’re aware of my history of concussion and they knew just as well as I did that one day this may happen.  Knowing though, wouldn’t make it easier.  Since the end of what I call my primary run, all I’ve done is try to get back.  All I’ve done was try to heal myself the very best and very most that I could so that I could have one last trip around the sun with the men, the women and all the children all over the world that loved me.

Tonight… despite my wishes, would be my final AAW appearance in who know’s how long?  It may be my final one ever and what’s worse is that it’s entirely possible that I’ve already wrestled the final match of my all too short in-ring career.

”Hey,” Lucy said, nearly startling me out of my skin.

”Hey,” I replied before returning to strumming on my guitar.  ”I thought you might sleep the whole trip.”

”Yeah, I thought I might too.  But…”

”But what?” I asked as she curled up in the seat next to me, so I paused my strumming.

”I just wanted to be beside you,” she replied sweetly.

”Thanks,” I smiled, then continued again uninterrupted for a few minutes.

”That’s really pretty,” Lucy said of the song I was playing.

”Don’t you know it?” I asked and she shrugged her reply.  ”Listen again,” I said and started from the beginning.

”No, I don’t think I know it,” she admitted.

”Seven Spanish Angels,” I gave her the answer.  ”Willie Nelson and the late great Ray Charles.”

”I don’t think I’ve ever heard of it,” she admitted very much to my chagrin.

”You serious?” I laughed.

”Boss, we’re about to start our descent into Oklahoma City airspace,” the pilot came over the public address system.

”We come back on board, we’ll listen,” I said as we buckled in.

”Good,” she replied.

My heart started racing as the runway lights lit up the ground.  I wasn’t nervous about the landing.  As a former flyboy myself, nothing about airplanes intimidates me.  I was about to do what I came here to do.  Then I was turning around and going right back home.

The ride to the arena was a short one that seemed to last forever.  Lucy and I were both quiet.  With my United States title resting on my lap, she held my hand in hers and stroked it with the other.  Saying nothing, I just stared out the window until the car slowed to a stop just outside the talent entrance.

”I know it doesn’t seem like it,” she began.  ”And I know this isn’t what you wanted to do, but, you are doing the right thing.”

”Am I?” I asked almost rhetorically.

Lucy nodded her confirmation.

”If it’s so right,” I began my retort.  ”Then why the hell does it feel so wrong?”

Inside the arena, I swung the title up over my shoulder and as she has been since mid-summer, Lucy Wylde was right by my side, determined to see me through to the other side of whatever this would turn out to be.



The crowd was electric and my music cued up even before I made it to Gorilla.  The feeling never really went away.  They get their dander up and it sends the hair on my arm standing on end.  Stepping through the curtain wearing jeans and a black leather jacket, the crowd was thunderously loud.  Part of me wanted to savor the moment because I didn’t know if I’d ever get to feel it again as an in-ring competitor.  A much bigger part of me wanted to just get it over with.  Instead of savoring any of it, Lucy and I headed straight for the ring.  After holding the ropes for my lady, I entered behind her.  The mood was off, the ring was dark, the faint gold light lit me the ring while a spotlight lit me up.

Someone handed me a mic… and it was time to do what I came here to do.

"I know what you guys are expecting from me tonight..."  I began to a thunderous pop from the crowd.  "But unfortunately, I can not compete."

That’s right, Thad.  Just rip the bandaid off.

The crowd turned quickly.  It caught me off guard.  They went from cheering me and loving me.  ‘Disappointed,’ I assumed.  Yeah, me too.

"I've made no secret about my past head trauma.  I've known that my career was on borrowed time for several years and when you work the way I work, when you put your body through the things I do all in an effort to singularly give each and everyone of you your money's worth.  I know you're disappointed, but so am I..."

The unrest had slowly begun turning to boo’s.

"I let you down..."

I had to pause.  I felt their frustration more than they’d ever know.  I felt their disappointment.  I begged them to quiet and contain themselves so I could finish.

"I understand your frustration.  No one is more frustrated than I am.  I'm frustrated that my brain won't heal.  I'm frustrated that my neurologist keeps insisting that I retire from active competition.  I'm frustrated that all of you won't get to see me beat T.J. and Ace again.  I'm frustrated that..."

They’re… booing.  They’re actively booing me.  Lucy noticed too because she squeezed my arm.  Just carry on, Thad.

"I'm frustrated that maybe Ken Davison and I aren't getting that final rubber match after all.  There's a lot of things that are important to me and your love and admiration was always ranked pretty high but it'll never outrank being a dad to three awesome kids.  See, I don't know if it's over..."

I had to shake my head.  My disappointment was compounded now because they were booing me with vigor and it was borderline vitriolic.

"We all have choices to make in life and you've made yours pretty clear to me...  That said, I'm gonna take off back to New York.  I'm gonna rest my head and try to see if I can make it back or not..."

Fuck it.  Fuck them.  Instead if saying the plethora of things I wanted to, I cut myself off, then took the title from my shoulder and laid it in the spotlight.

"Stay classy, O.K.C."

Dropping the mic, I took Lucy by her hand again and we made our exit amid the chorus of boos.  They can cry, bitch, moan and complain, but I have a life to live outside of the ring that far and away and will always trump my life inside of it.

Back on the plane, I threw myself down in my seat, buckled in and threw my ankle up on my knee while staring out the window.  The engines started winding up as Lucy buckled in beside me.  She was hesitant to break through the radio silence and I knew it.  I’d ease her apprehension after we were off the ground, but I just needed a minute.

A short minute or two later, the 747 was cruising down the runway.  Just a moment or two after that, we were wheels up and headed back to New York.

”I don’t think I was expecting that,” Lucy cut the silence before I could.

”The crowd?” I asked as I looked at her.

Lucy nodded.

”Nah, me neither really,” I admitted.  ”That hurt, not gonna lie.”

”I’m sure,” she agreed.

”I’ve given everything I’ve got to those people,” I said defensively.  ”They got a right to boo, cheer or whatever but…”

”Maybe it’s just Oklahoma City,” she suggested.  Though I don’t think either one of us actually thought that.

”Nah this was different,” I replied.  ”I’ve been boo’d before, but not like tonight.  Never like tonight.”

”What’s next?” she asked the obvious question.

”There’s not really anything I can do about it for now,” I started to reason.  ”If I do get to come back though.  If I do get to wrestle again I think things are gonna be different.”

”How so?” she asked.

”Boss, we’re at cruising altitude,” said the pilot before I could answer her.  ”Have you back home in about two hours.”

Unbuckling myself from the seat, I stood and squeezed passed her, then reached out my hand.

”My dear, I made you a promise,” I said with a smile.

She smiled back and happily took my hand.  Pulling her toward the open area of the floor, I grabbed the stereo remote and clicked it on.



Seven Spanish Angels played throughout the cabin as Lucy and I danced with no audience.  We swayed together for a good thirty seconds or so before I spun her around.  With her back to me, I held her close to me, wrapping both arms around her waist.  She laid one hand on mine, and reached up with her other, gently laying it against my cheek.

”There were Seven Spanish Angels, at the altar of the sun,” I sang sweetly into her ear.  Her grin widened.  ”They were prayin' for the lovers, In the Valley of the Gun

“When the battle stopped and the smoke cleared, There was thunder from the throne…

“And seven Spanish Angels… Took another angel home.”

There were precious few things that I enjoyed more than putting a smile upon her face.  We had both loved and lost in life, that doesn’t really make us special.  Everyone has.  But, despite the difference in our ages, I had never felt more like a whole and wholly happy human being in my entire life.  Maybe since I’m only 26 that entire life thing seems a little shallow.

That’s understandable.

Thing is, I never exactly led what most people would call a normal life until the last two years.  In lieu of explaining it one more time to add to the three thousand other times, I’ll just leave you to believe me instead.

At the conclusion of the song, we threw ourselves down in a couple of reclining chairs.

”You were right,” she said.

”Yeah, I know,” I agreed.  ”About what though?”

”The song,” she laughed.  ”It really is beautiful.”

”Bit violent, sorta tragic,” I smiled.  ”But definitely beautiful.”

Just then, a video call comes in.

”Frankie,” I sighed.  ”He just saw the segment I bet.”

Hitting a button on my phone, the call is transposed on the big flat screen on the bulkhead wall ahead of us.

”Hey kiddo,” I greeted him.  He sat at our kitchen table.  I could see Berta fixing something on the counter behind him.

”They fucking… BOO’D!?” Frankie called out.

To which, Berta turned around behind him and I knew it was coming as she smacked him upside his head before returning to whatever it was she was doing.

”Oww, are you KIDDING ME, dad!?  THEY LITERALLY BOO’D!”

”Yeah, yeah they surely did,” I laughed.

”So is this it?” he asked.  ”Are you hangin’ it up?”

”I don’t know,” I answered him as honestly as I could.

”If this is it, then it’s not all bad you know?” Frankie said, trying to console me a little.  ”I mean you’ve had a fantastic career.  One marked with dozens and dozens of big time matches.  You held twelve different championships across four promotions.

“Maybe it’s not as golden as a lot of resumes out there Dad, but, come on.  You never needed a belt to validate your skill level.”

”No, that’s all true,” I agreed.

”How long until you’re back?”

”A couple, three hours maybe,” I replied.

”Damn,” he muttered.  ”I probably won’t be up.”

”Better not be up,” I agreed with him.

”Wake me up when you get back, okay?”

”Why?”

”I don’t know,” he said quietly.  ”I just wanted to give you a hug goodnight.”

”Alright,” I relented with a smile and turned to Lucy.  ”See with teenage boys like he is…”

”Stop it,” Frankie laughed.

”Dad’s don’t get hugs that much,” I joked.

”Oh I’m fully aware,” Lucy laughed.

”They think they’re too cool to hug people,” I joked some more.

”Not people, just our dads,” Frankie argued.  ”And we are.”

”You’re not that cool,” I insisted.  His mouth fell agape dramatically.  ”I’ve seen you dress in your mom’s clothes to have tea with Livvy.”

”First of all, I learned that from you,” he laughed.  ”Secondly, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYBODY!”

”Oops.”

”This is probably why they boo’d you,” Frankie joked.

”Alright, go to bed,” I changed the subject.

”I’m goin’ but I wanted to tell you somethin’ first…”

”What?”

”You don’t get boo’d at home,” he said, stunning me into silence.  ”We love you here, Dad.”

”Awww.”

Charming little bastard.

”Go get some sleep,” I insisted.

”Yeah, I’m goin’.  Love you.”

”Love you too, Bud.”

Black screen.

”That was really sweet,” Lucy said as she snuggled up against my shoulder.

”Yeah,” I smiled.  ”That’s one thing I did right.”