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Dolly Waters · (09-01-2024)

Misty’s journey from West Virginia to California wasn’t just a physical one; it was a pilgrimage of the Madness, a crusade, a bizarre odyssey fueled by a mix of delusion, bravado, and a misguided sense of destiny.

Misty Waters, fully embracing her role as the XWF Xtreme Champion and self-proclaimed savior of professional wrestling, is taking her XTreme Campaign to the liberal heartland: Los Angeles. And coming off a brutal win in West Virginia, where she successfully defended her title against Centurion and John Black on XWF Anarchy, her path to XWF 24/7 Case was getting clearer. Her next challenge: a showdown against Latoya Hixx on XWF Warfare.

But this isn’t just about wrestling. No, this was about something much bigger, at least in Misty’s mind. As she boarded her patriotic decorated campaign bus, draped in red, white, and blue with "Misty’s XTREME Campaign -2024-" emblazoned on the side, she’s convinced, more now than ever, that her mission extends beyond the ring. She’s here to convert the godless heathens of Los Angeles, and to spread the gospel of the Misty Madness -An edict of XTreme wrestling and conservative values- and to rally support from the most unlikely of places.

What

The bus rolls through the streets of Los Angeles, an absurd spectacle, drawing confused stares from passersby. Inside, Misty is holding court with her team, a motley crew of loyalists, including her MAGA sister Madison Dyson, her manager Paulie a couple of underpaid interns, and a bewildered bus driver who had clearly seen better days.

[dolly]Ooooh yeeeah. Lookie lookie, here. she mutters to herself, looking through her dark ski goggles and out of the bus window, observing the hell that is the city of Los Angeles.[/dolly]

She turns back to her team on the bus, before gowling out,

A cesspool ripe fer’ the pickin’, YEAH

Her hand balled in a fist, pointing at her words rolling off her tongue with her pinky,

We're here to take back wrestling and the country!

Misty declared, before dropping her tone into a gravely, conspiratorial whisper, And we're going to start right here in Los Angeles, yeeeah. These woke swine poisoning our blood stream wont know what hit em, yeah

Madison nodded enthusiastically. That’s right! Time to show these FREAKS that real American values still exist in the XWF!

The interns exchange nervous glances, wondering how they’ve ended up on this insane bus tour, as Paulie lingers over them with a mischievous grin.

They don’t want to believe it, because the people have been brainwashed by these shadow leaders in the XWF, a false consensus shoved down their throats. Even now, they’re led to believe that a terminal loser like Latoya Hixx is a contender fer’ my XTreme championship, yeah, when in reality, the XWF is only trying to protect their “top stars” from the Misty Madness.

Latoya Hixx, who not only did did the MAGA Powers crush last week, yeeeah… but the woman who’s brain has turned to goo from all of the ozempic and HGH she’s injected over the last year.

Here’s the problem facing the XWF, and truly, our entire country: The mass media conglomerates and shadowy corporate interests are trying to manufacture consensus. They need so desperately to build these stars, yeah, that's why they won't book them against the likes of the MAGA Powers, because they know they’ll be exposed, quick fast and in a heartbeat, yeah!

When we faced the Schoolyard Bullies, another set of “new stars” who were unjustifiably elevated, we sent a message to the XWF that no level of competition is safe against Misty Waters and Madison Dyson.

And when faced with an opportunity to book us against the Tag Team champs, what did Thaddeus Duke do? He served us The American “storm” - more like a sprinkle- on a silver platter. Talk about being left hungry. Can you believe this? This Warfare when I could be facing some whining, talentless little toad like Isaiah King. He wants glory so bad… you’d think that insufferable prick would be screaming, crying to the federation leadership to get a crack at the XTreme Championship. Instead, I’m beating up the same woman that I beat up on the last episode

But King knows, just like everyone else in the XWF, that there’s only one person who can take this campaign for the 24/7 case all the way through November and to victory! That person is Misty Waters! That’s why Corey Black didn’t have the fortitude to challenge Misty Waters for the belt I swiped away under his nose. That's why no one will challenge me!

What people fail to realize, is that outside of this campaign, I have a great life, yeah, A LIFE OF LUXURY! - Says the woman who is literally a spirit that’s possessed her granddaughter’s body - a vestige of bourbon riches, political savvy and wrestling business acumen to fallback on- but I continue on this campaign to save wrestling, to save the United State, to save wrestling fans because I’m selfless! Because too many people have been harmed by the nonsense they’ve had to live, paying the price of liberal inflation to order terrible pay-per-views and watch terrible wrestling television.

So instead of seeing a decent wrestling match in LA this Warfare, the fans will be tuning into to yet another beat down of Latoya Hixx. That’s why I’m calling on the people of this GREAT city-

GREAT!?

There’s plenty to love about LA! The majority of people here are too dumb to realize they’ve been brainwashed by wokeness. This is where The Madness of the MAGA Powers can spread like wildfire in a California drought!

The bus lurches to a stop in front of their first stop on this tour: an In-N-Out Burger.

Perfect Misty’s features gleaming, while Madison nods in approval I guess if you’re looking for the mindless scum of the earth, this place is pretty perfect.

Inside the In-N-Out, the scene is one of typical LA life - college students, young professionals and so on, enjoying their burgers and fries. But this was about to change.

Misty marches into the fast-food joint like a general storming the battlefield, with Madison and the interns trailing behind her. All the grace of JD Vance trying to communicate with normal humans was on display. Misty zeroes in on a group of college students who were eating some animalfries. Wearing keffiyehs, they had signs supporting Palestinian rights resting against their table. Misty saw an opportunity.

Well hello, hello! she boomed, drawing the attention of the entire restaurant, startling the students. I’m Misty Waters, XWF Xtreme Champion and the next savior of professional wrestling! And I’m here to tell you the TRUTH!

Truth?!

Thwarted. In the midst of her next scheme to manipulate a group of college activists, Misty nearly crumbles completely to the floor. She’s instead hunched over, her hands shaking at her ears.

MEMAW?

There’s an overpowering voice that blots out all of Misty’s sensoraries. It sounds like she’s just heard a gun fire beside her head. Her vision is blurred

Dolly she gags

The students exchanged confused looks. "Uh, what?" one of them asked, clearly unsure of how to respond to the spectacle unfolding before them.

Misty’s hearing returns, the disembodied, yet hell embodied sounds of her granddaughter fade. She looks up at the table of students, not remembering where she was. There’s blood leaking from her nostrils and ears.

Before the students can begin to scream, Misty has turned around, pushing through her entourage and rushing for the exit. She hurries to the restroom in the tour bus, flinging the ski goggles from her eyes and looking into the mirror.

She leans over the sink, catching her breath…

Who cares if I stole it, bitch. Yer' not takin' this from me. she spits blood into the sink, Just like Hixx ain't taking my belt on Warfe. she smiles with a bloodied grin There's nothing thats gonna' stop me now.

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