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Dolly Waters · (04-08-2023)

“Metaphysics and professional wrestling…”

The scene opens on a closeup of a nightly news broadcaster with a thick and friendly black mustache. Her voice is strong and professional as she delivers this story regarding-

“…an unlikely bridging between worlds of niche fanatics, indeed. One that has stirred more than just a buzz one might receive when stirring this cup of tea I’m holding in my hand…”

The camera pulls back slowly, revealing the news broadcaster standing in front of a massive construction site as she takes a sip of her tea.

The construction site sitting behind Madame Maluna’s Metaphysical Manor, the once quaint little shop where Dolly Waters, and her assistant Patel Gagendeep kidnapped the owner, Madame Maluna, and began practicing black magic in recent weeks.

This kidnapping led to the eventual arrest of Patel Gagendeep, but he was released soon after when Madame Maluna refused to press charges. Why, after all of the irreverent acts of caprice and torment did Maluna refuse to bring justice to Dolly’s trusted assistant?

“…it has stirred a groundswell of demand so substantial, that this historic little manor shop, in this quiet little suburb is transforming into a megastore and distribution center to keep up with the sudden influx of new customers… why? Well, it’s all thanks to the XWF’s Television Champion, Dolly Waters-“

The broadcaster takes another sip of her tea,

“-and Dolly’s ‘Divine Timing’.”

The scene of the news broadcast cuts to an obese woman wearing a tie dye shirt and jewels, along with a glazed over look on her face and a thick, friendly black mustache. She begins speaking into a microphone held in front of her mouth,

“Well, I’d been telling people about the power of divination tea and healing crystals for YEARS, and no one believed me!

Then my cousin said there was a wrestler who was making divination tea, and using it to predict the outcome of her matches.

I watched March Madness five, and Dolly Waters is a wonderful, truthful guide toward the light! She’s out there showing the world the power of self-love and positivity! Manifesting her intentions into reality with the Law of Attraction, and divine guidance with her tea. It’s really powerful, and once the world gets a taste, they’re gonna want more and more!”

…okay-

The scene pulls back from a television set where the news broadcast continues to journal testimonies of Dolly’s new brand fanatics, and we see Corey Smith turning away from the television to face Dolly.

The two of them, along with Patel and Maluna, are inside of the metaphysical shop, near the front entrance, circling the television near the old timey golden cash register. The draw is nearly bursting open with a new cash flow.

Corey turns from Dolly’s smirking features and grants the television another curious glare, before turning back, peeking through a curtain of beads behind them, and into the bowels of the shop. Where the mass production of ‘Dolly’s Divine Timing’, is currently underway.

Two makeshift assembly lines have formed. Eleven Indian immigrants in each line-

-so first of all, why are those immigrants naked?

-wearing only face masks and underwear they’re crumbling tea leaves, mashing them with other substances with a mortar and pestle, and on down into tea bags and little paper packages it goes, ready to be brewed by Dolly’s growing consumer base.

We can’t have them stealing any of the product. ESPECIALLY with these initial batches.

Corey looks back at Dolly, an agonizing look of perplexion overcoming his features,

WHAT?!

She responds, reading the incredulity on his face,

I’m paying them more than a living wage.

Then why would they try stealing your tea?

It’s VERY powerful stuff, Corey. And it’s in VERY high demand.

Corey had surmised that much from the news broadcast, even if it was hard to believe that his dear friend Dolly was now a powerful gypsy using her success as XWF Television Champion to market an enchanted tea to credulous healing-crystal, tarot card reading dorks. But still, none of this really explained why he was here at the metaphysical shop.

Fair enough, but-
When we last saw them, Dolly had invited Corey inside of her gypsy-wagon backstage at March Madness V. That night was Corey’s first time being in an XWF locker room in nearly a year. After helping induct The Engineer into the XWF Hall of Legends, Corey wanted to check up on Dolly who had been publicly displaying a very sinister shift in character as of late. But Dolly seemed to be anticipating Corey’s arrival to her locker room, and met with a most curious proposition-

-what does any of this have to do with… Corey seems to be racking his mind to pull together the exact nature of Dolly’s request,

With me using the Commune to host another MayDay?

Right! he snaps his fingers and points at Dolly. Her face and tone take on a more stoic characteristics as she says Walk with me, Corey. Wearing her black gypsy robes, she folds her arms behind her back, making a theatrical move behind the bead curtain as she slowly walks ahead of Corey inbetween her assembly lines,

When I returned to the XWF back in December, I told the world that change was on horizon… REAL change.

Well, that’s a bit redundant to the audiences,dont you think? The XWF is constantly changing-

Dolly snaps back her head back and interrupts Corey,

Oh, I know. I knoooow! You’ve got brand restructuring. Championship merging. New influxes of “talent”. Corporate backed stables consolidating power. Shifts in pay-per-view schedules. But the more things “change” as far as the XWF is concerned, the more things tend to stay the same.

Corey bends a curious eyebrow toward Dolly,

Were you listening to that disgusting promo by Isaiah King earlier?

The one where he was fetishising child abuse?

Exactly. Sounded a little twenty-seventeen XWF if I do say so myself….

Well, they DID just induct The Engineer into their Hall of Legends.

That’s not the point, because at least Engy was a known piece of garbage.

Isaiah King on the other hand?

This dude is supposed to be one of the “good guys”, a young up and coming stud that XWF management is trying to push into the main event scene, strapping a rocket to his back and doing everything they can to fast track him to the top of the industry. I mean fer’ fucks sake, the guy has been featured in the opening credits of Weekend Warfare, meanwhile he’s having mental break downs in the ring after winning, and getting erect at the thought of beating small children.

Yeah, his promo was pretty hard to watch.

And see, that’s the type of trash the XWF wants headlining their futures. Because their trash ass fans lack an appreciation for depth, and true development, true progress… they’re not interested in the future of professional wrestling, Corey. Only in their shareholders getting rich off of obscene match stipulations, and mindless assholes cutting obscene promos while wearing a pretty smile.

Well, you’re not wrong, but still.. What does this have to do with you hosting another rock concert wrestling event at the commune?

Dolly walks to the end of the assembly line and picks up a package of her tea. Her eyes glow upon the inscription, and for a moment, a fleeting smile creeps across her lips before turning back to Corey,

Yer’ presence at March Madness was about a diviner type of timing. Just as you entered my locker room, the announcement was made that the next XWF pay-per-view would be WarGames.

...okay, so?

No Leap Of Faith. More “change” by the XWF that essentially means that no ACTUAL change can take place.

You mean no new 24/7 briefcase.

Mhmm… so, if I can’t change the trajectory of the industry with a briefcase, then I’ll do it on MayDay.

But how?

Dolly lays the package of tea into Corey’s hand,

By introducing the power of Divine Timing to an audience of REAL wrestling fans, and showing the XWF that the thirst for progress is real, and one that wont be quenched with their prototype stars like King, and Kido, and the like. It’s time to remind them who really holds the power of TRUE victory.

As bizarre as her request sounds, Corey can’t help but feel inspired by Dolly’s words. He knows all too well the struggles she’s faced during her career in the XWF. The two have shared many conversations on this subject over the years. And though he’s a bit shaken by the sight of his once tame, and proportionally sighted friend being replaced by this cynical, scheming little gypsy, Corey knows that the Dolly he knows would’ve watched Isaiah King promos on an endless loop if Corey needed her to… without her hardwork and dedication, the commune may have never grown into the bastion for hope that it is today.

He owed it to her to at least try and help,

Well, it’s been a while since you’ve been back. We need to ask the residents at the commune how they feel before I agree.

A glowing grin rides onto her face, Let's get a move on it then!

We don’t have time for that now do we? I’ve got to catch a flight to Florida, and don’t you have a match to prepare for?

Don’t worry… Corey feels a sudden tingle at his fingertips. His tongue is drying up. His eyes widening on the pack of tea in his hand. ...we’ll be there in no time.

Dolly snaps her fingers and everything fades black,

promo

We’re back inside of Dolly’s gypsy-wagon. She’s not looking at the camera, instead her focus is outside of the window, and settled on a beautiful line of mountains off in the distance.

Sixteen minutes, Isaiah…

Nine-hundred-sixty seconds, Isaiah…

…and a lifetime’s worth of wondering why it wasn’t enough time to beat Dolly Waters on Warfare, Isaiah…

She smiles and turns into the camera,

I figured you’d be thanking me, because it should be plenty of time for you to get yer’ act together. Plenty of time to contemplate all the ways in which you’ve underestimated me, the ways in which you’ve underestimated the XWF, and professional wrestling as a whole.

I mean look at you, just a couple of months ago you were on top of the world, huh? Fancying yer’self unstoppable, unchallenged, and in a position unbecoming of a true heir.

Funny the ways in which reality can smack you around. The ways it can kick the proverbial ladder from yer’ feet. It scratches. It claws. It cheats you out of those delusions doesn’t it? Because once the act is all over, once those pretty little masks we wear are clawed off, we’re left with nothing but the shadows of our souls to confront. And yers? Well it’s a damn doozy, I’ll tell ya’ that.

Funny how we go from Isaiah King, the wholesome, handsome hero wanting to learn the ins-and-outs of the industry, wanting to succeed and fight with pride, to Isaiah King the…

…morally ambiguous?

That’s what you called me.

You said it would be my undoing against you when we faced off before, and now after you cried about all the mean things I’ve said and done, what did you resort to?

Daydreaming about beating little kids like some drunken father in a promotional shoot that little kids will be watching?

WOW!

I mean, I’ve seen this industry break plenty of people before, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it happen so quickly, so emphatically. It’s almost as if all of that moral ambiguity you preached against me was a defense mechanism for yer’ own insecurities. A way to cover up yer’ own ugliness and point the finger at the bad guy.

See, people like you…

WEAK people…

you try yer’ damndest to scapegoat people like me…

HONEST people.

Why?

Because we’re not afraid to own up to the ugliness of life. We’re not some perfect test-tube specimens with pretty faces that get plastered on wrestling magazines, and recording the intros to Warfare. We show you what life is really like. That it’s a cruel, unfair struggle, all the while people like you get try and preach about how things SHOULD be, well, let me drown you in some more reality, Isaiah-

You SHOULDn’t be anywhere near the Main Event on Warfare. Why?

It’s not just because you don’t belong in the ring with Dolly Waters, frankly, you don’t belong in the ring with anyone.

A person with such a delicate, fragile little sense of self has no business being put in a position to feel these truths that lay between the ring ropes. Especially when a mere string of three losses in a rookie season can turn him from Isaiah the pretty boy hero, to Isaiah the desperate dipshit.

That desperation, it’s gonna’ cost ya’ against me, rookie. Because while yer’ growling into the camera, babbling off those convoluted one-liners about bending me over yer’ knee, bellowing out about all the rage you plan to display, I’m just smiling… because I’m in yer’ head now.

What you fail to realize is all that venom, all that vitriol, all that anger, and fear, and insecurity about losing constantly, it all plays right into my Champion’s Advantage.

It all plays right into my Divine Timing.

Because I’m gonna’ put on my ugliest, sharpest fingernails and toodle-loo you under my chin. Let you rage-out and chase me around that arena until yer’ left with no choice but to show everyone how ugly you really are. Until you have no choice but to finally act upon those lessons I taught you when we first fought. The lessons you promised to, and FAILED to deploy since then. And once yer’ done seeing red, and you’ve taken a switch to my behind like the nasty, abusive father figure you were fantasizing in yer’ promo, I’LL be the one who’s still victorious.

Go on and get yer’self disqualified, Isaiah. You touchy little prick. Fucking fake-ass hero. The irony of it all is too savory for me to ignore.

You said I’m wearing a “Newcomers Championship”, pretty much shitting all over the Television Championship... yet it’s the belt that Main Events our bi-weekly program. And yet it’s the belt that will put you “back on top”. Do you even listen to yer’self speak?

I know yer’ half-baked sense of XWF history is as inconsistent as yer in-ring record, but would mind telling me how dusty fucks like Ned Kaye, Chris Page and Jenny Myst are newcomers? Those are the three people who held the belt between you and me, Isaiah.

The reality of it all is that yer’ just making excuses between the lines. You think that making up lies about the stature and importance of the Television Championship will somehow make Dolly Waters look bad, and make Isaiah King appear to be exactly where he belongs, all while cutting off yer’ own testicles in the process.

Yer’ trying to say that I SHOULD be above the TV Title… while simultaneously being below you? The guy who I’ve already outsmarted in the ring? The one boo-hooing and asking why Dollys' here? Telling us all he’s trying to learn, while simultaneously acting like a gatekeeper for who is and who isn’t qualified to fight for certain championships? Way to try and gaslight everyone. I thought I was supposed to be the desperate little coward in this dynamic.

But you just keep proving me right…

You keep proving that you don’t know what it takes to be champion in XWF. You fucking scoffed at the idea of a champion marketing themselves...

You keep proving that Divine Timing has me right where I need to be... continually hurting the prides of little corporate fan favorites.

You really wanna' know why I'm here?

Well, sixteen minutes in the ring with me Warfare SHOULD be plenty of time to figure it out.

Coreytopia, Florida

Corey Smith opens his eyes, only having just watched Dolly snap her fingers in the back of the metaphysics shop moments ago.

But now he's inside of her gypsy wagon.

Confused, he looks around and sees no one with him, but the imagery outside of the window is cannot be mistaken.

It's his home. The commune where he and Dolly once lived together.

Coreytopia.

Corey flings open the door to the wagon and hangs out from the side. It's still making a slow trek through the commune grounds... along a trail of roses?

At least a hundred of the commune's residents are walking alongside the wagon, throwing roses, some offering baskets of goods and other harvested foods. Corey looks to the roof of the wagon where he sees Dolly, smiling, waving, and wearing a wreath around her head. Soaking in a heroes welcoming for the Gypsy Queen.

Dolly looks down at Corey and grins,

I'm guessing they're gonna' be fine with another MayDay

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