Presented By: "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane and Mr.Big FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 23RD HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS - LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA Match #1 Madness Special Minis Battle Royal Various Minis From The Madness Roster will compete, including Pebbles, Tremble the Clown, El Dodecahedron, and Mini Morbid! Match #2 Elijah Martin - vs - Money Oswald Hill Valley Town Square Match This match will take place inside a ring placed in the center of the Hill Valley Town Square One Pinfall 2 RPs 1.5K Word Limit Match #3 Madness Hollywood Walk of Fame Ladder Match MOLLY BARNES - vs - HIDE YAMAZAKI - vs - "VIP" CHRIS MOSH - vs - MYRA RIVERS - vs - MC C-MUNQQQUEE - vs - LI'L CA$H-APP - vs - CHRIS "DOC" DOCHERTY - vs - SIERRA SILVER - vs - HOLDEN ROSS - vs - JOSSLYN SPENCER - vs - "THE" JESSICA ANDERSON - vs - "SPOILED" SUMMER PAGE - vs - BARNEY GREEN - vs - DARREN DANGEROUS The match will start with two participants, with a new one entering every 60 seconds. Once all are present, a golden Oscar statuette will be lowered above the ring, and the person who retrieves it will be declared the winner. Match #4 JENNY MYST - vs - LEXI GOLD Peeping Jane Match This match will take place in a ring dropped smack in the middle of Bushnell Avenue. In order to win you must exit the ring and ascend a big tree next to the ring. Nest you climb out onto a branch with a direct view into the bedroom of Lorraine Baines at 1727 Bushnell Ave. Special Guest Referee - Lea Thompson as 1955 Lorraine Baines One Pinfall Savage Rules Match # 5 Featuring Musical Guest - Harry Waters Junior and The Starlighters performing - Earth Angel "THE THUGS' TOMMY WISH AND JOHN BLACK - vs - "THE MIDNIGHT DOLLS" VITA VALENTEEN AND DOLLY WATERS - vs - "THEM NO GOOD BASTARDS" BOBBY BOURBON AND THUNDER KNUCKLES Enchantment Under The Sea Brawl This match takes place within the gymnasium of Hill Valley High School - Weapons Encouraged Special Guest Referee - Thomas F. Wilson as 1955 Biff Tannen Warfare Tag Team Rules OOC: PPV Rules Varies By Match which are listed within each match box You must post 1 cold open RP before the soft deadline of THURSDAY, 09-15-2022 at 11:59pm board time Hard deadline for Savage will be THURSDAY, 09-22-2022 at 11:59pm board time. Good luck!

The fireworks show lights up the dark night sky in Hollywood California, and the CamBot drones whizz through the air like a swarm of metallic birds of prey.

The slammin’ sounds of “Back in Time” plays through the speakers of the Universal lot, and soon cameras zero in on XWF Principal Owner and all-around swell guy “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane standing in the center of a ring, decked out in his finest hot pink three piece suit.

Next to him, and a little below, stands Minis General Manager Quentin Quinn, smiling from ear to ear.


Vinnie Lane: “Ladies and gentlemen! It is my honor and privilege to bring to you the 2022 edition of XWF Relentless! You know, I love Hollywood! I live right down the road in my awesome palatial compound the Pink Palisades with my hot ass fiance Roxy Cotton… Southern California is the closest thing to Heaven that there is anywhere on this Earth!”


The crowd pops hard for the cheap heat.


Vinnie Lane: “And one thing this town knows better than any other is ENTERTAINMENT! Ever since the golden age of moving pictures, the Hollywoodland era, the Academy, the invention of CGI, and so on and so on… Hollywood has been the epicenter of entertainment! And now, Hollywood, it is YOUR turn to be entertained… and we’re doing it the XWF way, starting RIGHT… FRIGGIN’... NOW!”


Cheers from the crowd, and then Vinnie hands the mic to his diminutive general manager.


Quentin Quinn: “Hello Hollywood! Some of the greatest films of any were made possible only by the skill and genius of little people… of MINIS! From the Wizard of Oz, to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, even Star Wars wouldn’t have been made without the late, great Kenny Baker inside the tin can you know as R2-D2! Tinseltown has always needed its little people… and we here in the XWF have brought them to you, in order to start Relentless 2022 off with the BANG it deserves! The Minis Battle Royal… for the XWF Minis Championship!”


The crowd gives a decent response, but they don’t seem to particularly like Quinn. Vinnie takes the mic back.


Vinnie Lane: “I’ll be sitting at ringside along with Quentin for this one… and I can’t wait to see this action! Let’s get the minis out here already!”

Match #1 Madness Special Minis Battle Royal Various Minis From The Madness Roster will compete, including Pebbles, Tremble the Clown, El Dodecahedron, and Mini Morbid!

Vinnie and Quentin exit the ring as a parade of minis start filing out from the back. All of the favorites that XWF fans are familiar with pass by…




The Knight Terrors!



El Búho!


Hubcap!


Pebbles!


Li'l Elvis!


Tremble the Clown!


Little Miss Sunshine!


Dodecahedron Jr.!



The Puzzler!

And of course...

The reigning...

Defending...

Undisputed...

UNBEATABLE...

XWF Minis Champion for EIGHT YEARS...

MINI

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORBID!!!





But!

There are also a few others we haven’t seen before!



Cookie the Crippler!


Hip Henry!

And finally…


LITTLE CAESAR!


All the Minis are in the ring now and Minis Referee Tater McGillicutty calls for the bell!





DING! DING! DING!!!



Vinnie Lane: “Here we go, Quentin! I’ve been PUMPED for this opener ever since we struck the deal a couple weeks back! I know you love seeing the little fellas get their time to shine!”


Quentin Quinn: “MISTER Lane, please, do not call them ‘little fellas!’ These are MINIS! Proud athletes and HUMAN BEING after all! Not pets or party favors!”


Just then, Tremble the Clown is tossed out of the ring onto his head, and it makes a squeaking honk sound like a bike horn.


Vinnie Lane: “You were saying, dude?”


Pebbles has to fight her way through the Knight Terrors, but she survives whenLittle Caesar rescues her, lifting Lovecraft and Kardiak out over the top rope together! Ovinnik tries to fight back, but Caesar dumps him out with a back drop as well!

Then, Pebbles hits a massive drop kick that sends Blackstar out! All four Knight Terrors are gone!

Hubcap and El Buho eliminate each other when Buho hits a Spanish Fly off of the top… to the outside!

Little Miss Sunshine almost goes over when Mini Morbid picks her up and throws her over, but she hangs onto the top rope and pulls it down when Li’l Elvis tries to bounce the ropes… Elvis has left the building!


Vinnie Lane: “This thing is going fast and furious!”


Quentin Quinn: “Is that a Vin Diesel joke? He is NOT a mini! But the Minis do their job and they do it quickly… they don’t waste time!”


Hip Henry is sent over the top by Mini Morbid… he hates hipsters more than anything!

Cookie the Crippler beats the Puzzler into the mat before lifting him up and dumping him unceremoniously onto the floor.

Then from behind, Dodecahedron Jr. dumps Cookie over as well!

Little Miss Sunshine grabs Dodecahedron Jr. and tries to toss him, but he hangs on… until Mini Morbid hits the ropes and knocks him off the apron, eliminating him!

Little Miss Sunshine and Pebbles go at it then, and Pebbles is almost all the way over the ropes, barely able to keep herself hanging on as Little Miss Sunshine muscles her over…

And Little Caesar dumps Little Miss Sunshine over!!!

Pebbles smiles and holds out her hand for Caesar to help her up, and he does!

And then he hip tosses her over the top! Pebbles is out!!!


Vinnie Lane: “What a turn of events! Quentin, we are down to two… the newcomer, Little Caesar, and the reigning Minis Champion, the so called GOD KING, Mini Morbid!”


Quentin Quinn: “Mini Morbid is the single strongest man on the XWF roster! Not only that but he is the smartest, the most virile, the most wealthy, the most charismatic…”


Vinnie Lane: “LITTLE CAESAR JUST TOSSED HIM OUT OF THE RING!!!!”


Quentin Quinn: “WHAT!?!”


DING! DING! DING!!!

Winner and NEW Minis Champion - LITTLE CAESAR!

Quentin Quinn: "This is impossible! Impossible I tell you! TATER! TATER YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"



Quinn hops off of the announce desk and chases after Tater McGillicutty, and Vinnie just shrugs as the camera fades out

---

The show cuts to the back where Myra Rivers is in some reflection mode as she is standing near a bunch of ladders. She’s not afraid of what’s in front of her. As a matter of fact, she is very much inspired. The look in her eyes indicates that she’s having some sort of flashback of a very positive memory. She sits on one of the ladders and begins to express her thoughts.

Myra Rivers: I’m going to sound like I’m on a nostalgia trip when I talk about this, but as it so happens, today is literally fourteen and a half years to the day that I had THE breakout moment of my career: the moment where everyone knew that I was going to be in the business for a long time to come as the force that I’d grow into. I remember the sights, the sounds, everything! The odds were stacked against me, my mainstream career was off to a bad start, and I was a very immature, highly insecure 23 year old who was really struggling to gain traction in the first company she ever wrestled for. My first company at that time was, more or less, a dog eat dog world where anyone in the back can stab you in the back. It was a cutthroat environment where you were literally mocked and ridiculed for struggling or even dealing with one ounce of adversity.

So imagine how people felt about me fourteen and a half years ago to this very day when I was in a huge ladder match on a huge stage with little mainstream experience and when I was an inconsistent 50/50 wrestler at best that most of the roster, and even the president of the company himself, had written off as a wasted signing. Yeah, the consensus was that I didn’t belong in that ladder match with the seven others I was in there with. Well, to my knowledge, I am the only one from that ladder match that has even wrestled within the last 10 years which should tell you something. Nobody believed in me at all… except me…

I admit, it was a gut feeling… blind faith… I had to believe because what choice did I have? Nobody else was going to..

But then I won that match…

Winning that match was what made my career and that’s something I’m never going to forget. Twenty one championships later over the years and it’s been one hell of a ride. It’s funny, because I find myself in pretty much a similar situation.

Myra takes a pause. It’s not much of a secret that she’s dealt with her fair share of frustrating XWF experiences during her short time in the company considering how she’s been venting about them quite a bit in recent times.

Myra Rivers: From a win-loss standpoint, I’ve done alright here in XWF… certainly better than 50/50. Yet, I still feel like I haven’t hit that level that I know I can hit here. I beat Molly, great. I managed to score the pin in that tag match a few nights ago on Madness and that’s something that does give me a very solid momentum boost coming into this thing. But now, as then, the odds are pretty much stacked against me. I’ve got to deal with 13 people in this thing and if I end up being an early entry into this match, that’s just going to make things even more difficult. Yet, I have a crazy feeling that I just might be able to pull it off. It would silence some doubters, but more importantly, I’d be able to say that I’m meeting my own expectations here. I’d be able to say that I know I’d be hitting my expectations here and this is an opportunity that in spite of the odds and in spite of the personal issues that I will have a chance to address when I get in that ring, I will find a way. I know I will because throughout my whole career, that’s what I’ve always done against all odds. In a match like this, you can never, ever count me out no matter how bleak things may be looking. Winning this match may be a surprise for a few, but it wouldn’t surprise me a bit. I’ve done it all before and I know in my heart I am more capable than ever of doing it again.

Myra leaves the scene, focused on the war to come.

---

The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way. After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.

He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.







His music hits, soon the ramp opens up and slowly Oswald begins to rise. His ornate cane planted in the platform, dressed to the nines like always. The crowd starting to chant "MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! " Once he was equal to the stage, he flung open his arms to form a t, letting out a loud roar, before grinning as he steps forward, making his way as he slowly unbuttons his suit jacket, his tie, his dress shirt, and unbuttoning the Billion Dollar Championship belt, handing it, his clothes, and the cane, to one of his servants as it appears as he takes his stance to get ready to face off against his opponent.

Match #2 Elijah Martin - vs - Money Oswald Hill Valley Town Square Match This match will take place inside a ring placed in the center of the Hill Valley Town Square One Pinfall 2 RPs 1.5K Word Limit

HLL: "It's beautiful out there! Takes me down old memory lane!"

PC: "Where we're going, we don't need roads.."

HLL: "Will there be many puns from the movie?"

PC: "It's Hill Valley Town Square! It's Oswald and Martin! It's time to have us another fight!!"

The old timey Town Center looked as if it had been untouched since the filming of the first Back to the Future. The fans have gathered around the ring, setup between the clock tower and the grass and pond at the town's center.

PC: "These outside matches have a different feel to them. These fans are ready!"

Because it was outside, there wasn't a special entrance ramp. There weren't any pyros or loud PA Systems in place. At either side of the clock tower, there was a tent where the wrestlers would come out from.

"Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins to play but it wasn't loud being an outside setup on a historical movie site. As the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, Elijah Martin comes out aggressively from within the tent.

HLL: "Wait.. The notes here say Oswald is supposed to come out first?"

After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd and the location, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.

He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells

"I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!"

After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.

HLL: "Elijah seems perky in his step! Maybe that time away really recharged his burning spirit!"

PC: "I'm still not seeing Big Money Oswald.."

As the seconds pass, fans begin getting riled up in a single area of the crowd. Elijah looks around and begins questioning where Oswald is as well. The fans making the loudest noise are gathered around a Port-A-Potty. One of a few placed around for the fans to use.

HLL: "Looks to me like the fans are taking great interest in that Portable Bathroom."

PC: "Maybe they all have food poisoning? Sometimes you have to fight for your right to potty!"

As Elijah tries to find answers from the referee, the fans over near the Port-A-Potty begin chanting.

"OZ-WALD!
OZ-WALD!
OZ-WALD!"

PC: "Wait? Are they saying Oswald? Is he inside the Port-A-Potty?!"

HLL: "That's a big man to be inside of that plastic box."

PC: "When you gotta go, you gotta go.."

Finally getting Elijah's attention, every fan near the Port-A-Potty begins pointing towards the hot box. Elijah hurries out of the ring, rolls over the railing and begins shoving his way through the crowd. The fans scream and holler with their hands all over Elijah, telling him that Oswald WAS inside the Port-A-Potty. Elijah goes to grab the handle but the door flings open and out comes Big Money Oswald barreling into Elijah with a powerful Shoulder Charge!

PC: "It is Oswald!"

The eruption from the fans carried even outside as Oswald throws a thunderous right that knocks Elijah back but Elijah snaps forward with a returning shot and these two were off to the races in this match! Trading shots, they had the fans circled around them. Elijah shoots with a Forearm but Oswald shoves it to the side, Elijah stumbles and turns around to find Oswald's foot connecting to his face as Big Money hits a sidekick showing off his agility.

HLL: "There are men half his size that can't move like Oswald!"

Dropping to a knee, Elijah Martin shakes off the kick. He swings a shot to Oswald's ribs as the big man snatches Elijah up and pulls him to his feet. Manhandling his opponent, Oswald makes Elijah look like a Cruiserweight as he launches him INTO the Port-A-Potty through the open door.

PC: "Ooooh noooo! It might get shitty around here, here soon!"

HLL: "Fans need to give them space.."

Using the edges of the doorway of the Port-A-Potty, Elijah tries to shoot out from inside but Oswald hits a Sparta Kick right to Elijah's chest that sends the kid from the Bronx back into the plastic poop box. Oswald slams the door shut. The fans pop with cheers as a fan gives the camera a close up facial.

"IT'S OVER!"

Oswald yells out as the crowd again pops. They follow up their cheers with a gasp as Oswald bear hugs the Port-A-Potty and tries to lift it.

HLL: "He's going to Suplex the Portable Potty! With Elijah Martin STILL inside!!"

PC: "Why do you keep saying 'Portable' Potty? It's Port-A-Potty.."

HLL: "What? Watch the match, we have a man trying to suplex a Portable Outhouse with another man inside of it and you're questioning what I call it?"

PC: "Just weird is all.."

On his second attempt at lifting the plastic outhouse, fans take a few steps back. A few of them move to another section of the crowd altogether. There would be a splash zone if Oswald can do this. He gets it off the ground as he grunts loudly and as the Port-A-Potty rises for the Suplex, Elijah Martin gets the door open and leaps out from inside as Oswald gets it up and over, slamming it onto the concrete street in front of the clock tower!

Dirty blue liquid seeps out from the fallen Port-A-Potty as fans scatter like roaches to get free of both the splash and the smell zone. Elijah Martin crawls, stumbles as he stands and makes his way back towards the ring.

PC: "This isn't a Falls Count Anywhere Match, Elijah with the recognition that this needs to get back to the ring."

HLL: "The referee couldn't count anyone out because both men haven't been inside the ring yet! This match hasn't even officially started yet!"

Oswald gives chase after Elijah. Reaching the railing, Elijah stops, shoves a fan out of their chair, folds it as he lifts and turns, slapping Oswald right across the face as he bulldozes towards him. The crack rang out as Oswald stiffens, wobbles, drops to a knee, his clarity was left with a slight daze. Elijah cocks back for a second chairshot but the referee steps in, grabbing the chair.

"NO! I will call this RIGHT NOW! Put it down!"

Letting go of the chair, Elijah turns back to Oswald who is shoving off his knee, diving forward and drives his shoulder into Elijah's midsection, lifting him and flying back into the railing, flipping over onto the ringside floor.

HLL: "We're closer to getting this match started! They're at ringside!"

The two men roll around at ringside throwing short punches. Elijah gets a foot up and pushes Oswald off, scurrying to his feet. A step quicker to do so than Oswald, Elijah Martin cracks his Nike into the big man's face. Rolling into the ring under the bottom ropes, Elijah stands up and waves, begs Oswald to get in the ring with him. Fans roar as they want the same thing. Big Money Oswald gives Elijah a grin as he gets to his feet, still at ringside. Grabbing the ropes, Oswald pulls himself up onto the apron as the two trade a few words. Elijah again waves him to enter. Oswald nods, drops back to ringside before bending down, lifting the ring skirt and sliding out a ladder from under the ring.

HLL: "That's a Ladder.."

PC: "This will NOT be a technical bout. It will not be pretty, it will be a fight!"

HLL: "It was a fight the moment that Portable Potty door flung open!"

PC: "I swear to god.."

HLL: "Let me remind the fans at home that this match is NOT without rules, that ladder and Oswald's intent will not be allowed. It could get ugly, bloody and end with disqualifications!"

PC: "That would be a bummer.."

Before Oswald can get the ladder into the ring, the referee is at the ropes yelling. "No!" Much the same as Elijah got a bit earlier. Oswald lifts the ladder and bridges it from the apron to the guardrailing. Patting it, he turns and climbs up on the apron to enter the ring. Elijah meets him at the ropes as soon as he enters. A heavy club to Oswald's back followed by a few more clubbing blows. Elijah pulls Oswald away from the ropes, sprints away from the big man, hits the ropes and rockets at Oswald with a stunning Forearm that stumbles Big Money back.

A quick short forearm to keep Oswald in place. Elijah races back to the ropes with the goal to knock Oswald down. Hitting the ropes, he springs towards the bigger man and is snatched up and slammed HARD into the canvas with a Sidewalk Slam!

HLL: "Oswald just plucked away the momentum from Elijah Martin!"

Sitting next to a downed Elijah. Big Money Oswald grins before pushing to his feet. Waving for Elijah to get up, Oswald seemed more to be mocking Elijah from earlier. Reaching down, Oswald brings Elijah to a standing before wrapping his arms around the former Anarchy Champion and applying a Bear Hug! Elijah groans and cries out as his body is squeezed tightly.

PC: "It's not the ideal situation to be in."

HLL: "Oswald is a man of many talents but his strength is surely one of his best qualities and he is showcasing that to Elijah right now!"

Beginning to fight back, Elijah connects with a headbutt. In between the squeezing and pain that was vibrating through him, Elijah drops an elbow into Oswald's shoulder. The hug of pain didn't break. Oswald just tightened his grip as the referee checks on Elijah for a verbal submission.

"Noooooo!"

He screams back in response. The yell puts some fire into him and he fights through the rib closing pain. A thumb to the eye of Oswald followed by not one, not two but three big Headbutts and finally Oswald's grip is released. On his own feet again, Elijah ducks down and lifts Oswald up across his shoulders, falling back immediately into a Samoan Drop!

HLL: "Elijah just lifted and put Oswald on his back!!"

PC: "Listen to the fans! There might not be a packed stadium but they are making some noise!!"

Giving his ribs a slight rub, Elijah moves to action. Drilling punches into Oswald's face from side position. After what seems to be 10-15 rapid shots, Elijah scrambles to his feet and roars out to the crowd, slapping at his own chest!

PC: "Elijah is Fired Up!?"

Once again, Elijah begins waving at Oswald as the big man begins to rise. Elijah times it and as Oswald pushes to his feet, Elijah bounces off the ropes and is looking for an executioner like clothesline but Oswald slips it and grabs hold of Elijah, lifting him up in ANOTHER Bear Hug! The crowd groans knowing it must not feel good.

PC: "That sucks for Elijah.."

HLL: "Why are you laughing?"

PC: "Sucks for him, funny to me!"

Making a slight adjustment in his grip, Oswald doesn't keep the Bear Hug but turns it into an Overhead Belly to Belly as he launches Elijah Martin high and far across the ring! Martin slaps against the canvas and slides a little before pushing up against the ropes. He rolls out of the ring under the ropes and flops to the ringside floor.

Big Money is back on top, he has the advantage as he gets to his feet and sees Elijah has gone to the outside. Moving to that side of the ring, the big man ducks under the ropes to exit the ring. Elijah Martin pops up with a brutal uppercut that slumps Oswald over the middle rope. Elijah pulls up onto the apron, grabbing hold of Oswald's head in a front facelock. Shaking his head from right to left, Elijah takes a deep breath and throws himself backwards, pulling Oswald through the ropes and spiking him at ringside with a sick DDT. (Think Orton's rope drag DDT but to the outside)

PC: "GREAT SCOTT!"

HLL: "Terrible.."

The fans gathered around the ring started the ever so common chant of 'Holy Shit'. Both men were down. Martin arching had landed hard on his back and Oswald was hugging his head, curled up in almost a fetal position.

HLL: "The official should have started the countout but he is out there checking on both men. That was an ugly landing.."

PC: "He did that man like he called him Chicken!"

HLL: "Chicken? Ohh another Back to the Future reference."

Elijah is first to get himself together. As he gets to a knee, he puts an arm up onto the ring apron and leans against it. Oswald shuffles and rolls onto his back. Elijah sighs, exhales deep and pushes to his feet. Drained from the bear hugs and match thus far, Elijah knew he still had a match to finish. Reaching down, he starts getting Oswald up off the floors.

Oswald ignites a spark, breaking out of Elijah's grapple, lifting him up with a Single Hand Spinebuster right over the ring apron! Elijah stiffens and groans like his soul is leaving his body! He crumbles to the ringside floor at Oswald's feet.

HLL: "His spine met the edge of the ring apron, Elijah is hurting! That hurt!"

PC: "Bet he wishes he had a time machine right about now…"

You can see it but HLL gave PC a long stare. Back to the match, Oswald snatches Eli's arm and begins dragging him. At the corner of the outside ring, Oswald picks Elijah up and shit whips him like a ragdoll to the side of the ring where he had set up that ladder bridge. The fans grow with excitement as they get the picture Oswald is trying to paint.

PC: "Uh oh! I know what Oswald wants to do!"

HLL: "He does like ladders.. I also wonder why the referee hasn't started the count yet?"

PC: "This is RELENTLESS 2022! You don't end matches with bullshit like count outs! Not here, not at Relentless!!"

Elijah leaned forward against the guardrailing as Oswald approached him from behind. Wrapping his arms around Elijah's waist, Oswald pulls Elijah away from the railing and turns so that the ladder bridge is behind them. Oswald lifts and launches Elijah, sending him bouncing off the ladder bridge!

Elijah flops and crashes to the floors and the ladder bridge barely bends and doesn't come undone. Oswald doesn't look happy, it wasn't enough, he wanted to fold Elijah into the ladder. Ducking under the ladder, Oswald plucks Elijah to his feet. Elijah was struggling as he took the German Suplex to his already beat up spine.

Oswald rolls Elijah onto the ring apron and climbs up on it himself. He gets Elijah onto his wobbly feet, his knees wanting to buckle but Oswald wouldn't let them as he kept Elijah standing. Oswald goes to lift Elijah with a Gorilla Press but Elijah slips it, drops to his feet, underhooks Oswald's arms and snaps back, hitting 'The Prologue' onto the Ladder Bridge! Both of them fold with the ladder and lay in a pile of metal and bodies at ringside. The crowd is going nuts!!

PC: "Pure carnage! This is what would have happened if the DeLorean miscalculated the jump!"

HLL: "All that time jumping caused problems for Michael J Fox later in life.. Radiation you think?"

PC: "Jesus! You went dark with it.."

There was blood! Oswald's face was crimson as it was picked up by the hovering XWF drones. Things became slippery as Elijah rolled out of the crash site. Blood was trickling everywhere but Oswald seemed mad as he shoved the busted ladder out from under him. After all this time, the referee, as if remembering, begins the official count.

One..

HLL: "Oh now you wanna make the count!"

PC: "Seems like a party foul to me.."

Two!

The referee was slow with his count.

Three!

Elijah reaches out and grabs the ring apron, the skirt to be specific and pulls on it to help him sit up.

FOUR!

FIVE!

Oswald wipes his face and pushes up from the ringside floor.

Six..

Elijah, using the apron to rise, rolls into the ring as Oswald crawls under the ropes. They both enter the ring, the referee joins them as the count ends at 6.

PC: "Good stuff! Nobody wants this to end in a count out. We need a winner!"

As if one leg wasn't carrying its own weight, Elijah almost falls over as he gets to his feet. His back was aching. He throws a wide right, connecting with Oswald as the bigger man gets to his feet. Oswald drills forward and drives a knee into Elijah's midsection, he gives him another knee before shoving Elijah over and dropping an elbow down into his upper spine. Elijah drops to his hands and knees.

HLL: "Elijah's back and Oswald's head. Those are the targets for both men to attack, that is where both are at their weakest right now."

PC: "We have yet to have a single pin attempt in this match.. That's weird, is it not?"

HLL: "Kids today are video game trained. Nobody wins a match in a Wrestling Game without the wear down of a health bar. We should get the Graphic Department to put up Health bars during matches, that would be neat!"

PC: "This is XWF not Level Up... You won't find a Contra Code being used here!"

Lifting Elijah from the canvas, Oswald pulls him up into a Piledriver but as he lifts to spike him, Elijah drops to his knees and uppercuts Oswald to the Big Money Jewels!

PC: "That's illegal!"

HLL: "Illegal? What about any of this has been legal? The referee has allowed this to step into the realm of hardcore.."

PC: "Hardcore? There has been one chair shot, a ladder and now a nut shot. That's softcore at best!"

Pushing through all he is feeling, Elijah takes advantage of the nut shot. Pulling Oswald's head down, he goes to underhook the arms but Oswald powers through, lifting and dumping Elijah onto his back with a shoulder toss reversal. Scrambling to his feet, Elijah is grabbed from behind as Oswald positions himself for his 'Billion Dollar Dream'. Elijah hits a back elbow. A second lands, a third and the fourth back elbow opens the floodgates of blood even more on Oswald. He drops to a knee, dazed.

Spinning around, Elijah lands an overhand right. Oswald tilts on his knees, Elijah kicks him to his upper stomach, pulling his head down, under hooking both arms and snapping back, hitting his 'Prologue'. Rolling Oswald over, Elijah hooks the leg as the referee slides and slaps the canvas.

1!


















2!!




























3!!!

Winner - Elijah Martin

HLL: "He did it! Elijah toppled Big Money Oswald! What a match!"

Both men remained on the canvas. Both having pains felt through the same clash. Both having put it on the line to compete at XWF's Biggest Stage.

PC: "He is just returning but Elijah seems to have a new fire burning inside of him! He could be in Championship form again!"

---

Hey hey everyone! It’s your good friend, the man with all the dirt from Madness, Marv Smegma! Welcome to the very FIRST ever Madness match on XWF Relentless in HISTORY! Now before we get started, the rules are as follows… this is a ladder match, meaning someone will have to scale a ladder and retrieve the golden Oscar statuette dangling above the ring… BUT! No one will be able to do so until ALL fifteen competitors are in the ring. That’s right, I said FIFTEEN… there’s going to be a super secret SPECIAL GUEST STAR entering in the last spot, and no one knows who it might be! I’ve got the scoop, so give me a call on the XWF 900 line… just 2.99 for the first minute and 0.99 each additional minute! Now, let’s send this over to my two Madness compadres, Jacuinde Cauhtemoc and Ira ‘Bath’ Saltzmann!!!

Match #3 Madness Hollywood Walk of Fame Ladder Match MOLLY BARNES - vs - HIDE YAMAZAKI - vs - "VIP" CHRIS MOSH - vs - MYRA RIVERS - vs - MC C-MUNQQQUEE - vs - LI'L CA$H-APP - vs - CHRIS "DOC" DOCHERTY - vs - SIERRA SILVER - vs - HOLDEN ROSS - vs - JOSSLYN SPENCER - vs - "THE" JESSICA ANDERSON - vs - "SPOILED" SUMMER PAGE - vs - BARNEY GREEN - vs - DARREN DANGEROUS The match will start with two participants, with a new one entering every 60 seconds. Once all are present, a golden Oscar statuette will be lowered above the ring, and the person who retrieves it will be declared the winner.

Cameras switch over to Jacuinde and Bath sitting at their announce booth near the Madness ring.



Bath can you believe it! We are coming at you LIVE from Night One of XWF Relentless 2022! The biggest show of the year and now there’s a brand new brand taking part! The Green Guys… MADNESS!


I am stoked, Jacuinde! I’ve got my most expensive shirt, my most expensive shoes, and I popped three Hims pills right before the cameras started rolling! I’m solid as a rock!


Well that’s… that’s something! We are all set for the very first ever Madness Walk of Fame Ladder Match! The winner is going to be set to receive an IDL Championship opportunity at our anniversary show in January!


The lights are on, the referee is ready, the ladders are polished up and glossy… let’s get it going already!!







The crowd pops as one half of The Privileged Elite, “The” Jessica Anderson struts out to the ring as a cascade of glitter falls from the ceiling.

Anderson poses in a spotlight in the center of the ring as she poses and even dances a little to her music. As the tune fades out, she looks up where the Oscar is hanging high above, waiting to be lowered when all have entered the competition.







As the fans wait in anticipation, "Victory" hits over the PA and the crowd rise to their feet, awaiting the arrival of Doc. The lights then turn to darkness, a blue glow illuminating the top of the ramp and two white strobe lighting bolts shining across it. They cross over in a huge "X" shape, like the St. Andrews flag of Scotland, and as Doc walks out and stands under the "X", the lights turn back on and Doc remains on the spot for a few seconds, before speeding up his approach to the ring as the song enters its chorus, never once looking out to the crowd, staring straight ahead at his opponent in the ring.



We have our first two competitors in the Walk of Fame… we are off!


Jess Anderson isn’t used to going it alone, and Doc Docherty is a DANGEROUS man, Jacuinde! The brother of Tara and Jennie Fenix has a strong MMA background.


DING!


The official starts things off with the sound of the bell and Jess Anderson is game to lock up with Chris ‘Doc’ Docherty. Docherty is able to take Anderson down with ease and maneuvers his way into a half guard and then a full mount, working on Anderson’s arms and trying to apply a kimura.

Anderson avoids the submission hold by rolling onto her belly, which just leads to Docherty getting his hooks in underneath of her and riding her like a pony.

Docherty eventually allows Anderson to get to her feet, just to fling her onto her back with an overhead suplex and cheese a little bit for the crowd.

The sixty second timer ticks down to zero and it’s time for the next competitor to enter the fray…







“Spoiled” Summer Page bursts from the backstage area and races to the ring, sliding in and immediately clobbering Doc Docherty with a forearm to the back of the head.



And now Jess Anderson’s tag team partner Summer Page is here! The Privileged Elite just came off of an unsuccessful title shot against Themis Palaestra for the Gemini Championships!


How fast fortunes can change on Madness, Jacuinde! Docherty went from having things well under control to getting doubled up on by one of the top teams on the brand!


Summer Page helps Jess Anderson to her feet and the two members of the Privileged Elite then start picking Docherty apart. They use tandem offense like double vertical suplexes and a spike piledriver.

Summer and Jess regroup in a corner and whisper to each other as Docherty tries to shake the cobwebs off. Once he gets to his feet, The Privileged Elite lock hands and run at him for a team clothesline, but Docherty ducks it!

Docherty sends Anderson flying over the top rope with a big drop kick, and then he brings Summer Page down with a Thesz press and starts pummeling her with heavy shots.

The timer ticks away and hits all zeroes once more.







The music hits and a group of paparazzi pop out from the back, snapping pictures of “VIP” Chris Mosh as he makes an entrance with a spirited jog.

Mosh pulls off his jacket and sunglasses as he heads down to ringside, making sure the photogs get his good side the whole time.

Mosh slides into the ring and Docherty pops up and meets him, and they exchange some blows.



The luck hasn’t run out for Anderson and Page just yet, Bath! Chris Mosh, the first IDL Champion, is their trios partner and friend!


Sometimes things go from bad to worse, Jacuinde, and that’s what just happened to Doc Docherty! It’s basically three on one now!


Docherty is able to fight Mosh off on his own, but Jess Anderson chop blocks him from behind and takes him down to a knee. This allows Summer Page to follow up with a shining wizard that knocks him flat! Chris Mosh hits a curb stomp to completely take the life out of Docherty!

Summer Page becomes the first to grab a ladder from outside the ring, and she along with Jess Anderson use it to set Docherty up as if he were locked in a set of medieval stocks. They drape his arms through the gaps between the rungs of the closed ladder, and tuck his head through a hole in the middle, then hold the ladder near the ropes as Chris Mosh measures things up…

Superkick from Chris Mosh!

The kick sends Doc Docherty out of the ladder and through the ring ropes, and he collapses to the concrete floor below as the trio of Mosh, Page, and Anderson pose in the ring smiling.

They look up to the ramp as the timer hits zeroes once again…






Molly Barnes pops out with a big grin, then she heads to the ring, carrying her tee shirt cannon,  leading a big INNIT! INNIT! INNIT! Chant along with the crowd.

Rather than blasting some merch into the stands, though, Barnes holds onto her shirt gun until she’s up on the apron of the ring - and then she plants a shirt right in the middle of Chris Mosh’s chest at a hundred miles per hour!



Oh MY! Molly Barnes just entered the ring with a BANG! Chris Mosh just got knocked silly by an ALRITE tee shirt that hit him at mach one!


Mosh might be down for a minute, but Molly already blew her load now! Here come Summer Page and Jess Anderson!


Barnes smashes a forearm into the mug of Jess Anderson when the two members of the Privileged Elite converge on her while she still stands on the apron, but Summer Page is able to grab her by the back of the head and snap her neck across the top rope!

Anderson gets back to her feet and she and Page hook Barnes by the arms and suplex her into the ring. They then each grab one end of the ladder they used previously and stand on either side of Barnes, lifting the ladder into the air and slamming it down onto Barnes’ torso with a huge impact on the Salford Supernova’s ribcage!

Page and Anderson turn their attention to checking on Mosh, who now has a massive bruise in the center of his chest, and they help him sit up as the clock ticks down to zero again…






Barney Green rushes out from the back with a trash can full of who-knows-what in his hands.

He hustles down to the ring and tosses the can into the ring, and a bunch of road signs spill out over the mat. Summer Page and Jess Anderson slip on them and fall over as Green enters through the ropes and immediately zeroes in on Chris Mosh with hard punches right to the forehead!



Barney Green, one third of the X-Treme Alliance, and you can see that he lives up to the name!


Green is a certified legend and a certified lunatic all at the same time… he can’t hold a candle to any of these guys technically, but when it comes to violence, he’s the DADDY!


Green batters Chris Mosh before hitting the ropes and sending them BOTH somersaulting over the top with a clothesline that rolls over the ropes, bounces them off the apron, and leaves both men on the concrete.

Summer Page and Jess Anderson decide to stay away from Green, and they turn back to Molly Barnes. They pull Barnes to her feet and start setting her up for some sort of double move, when Doc Docherty flies into the scene and takes Page out with a running high knee!

Anderson is off balance and Molly scoops her up into a BARNESTORMER!

Docherty helps Barnes to her feet and they confer for a moment before Barnes hits the ropes and somersaults over the top with a plancha onto Chris Mosh and Barney Green!

Doc Docherty grabs Summer Page and drags her to the middle of the ring and grabbing Barney’s trash can. He blasts Page in the chest with the can and leaves it sitting on top of her  before climbing up to the top rope and hitting the AIR GLASGOW elbow drop right onto the trash can and her body!

Docherty grabs his elbow in pain as he rolls off the crumpled can, and both members of the Privileged Elite are motionless as the clock ticks down to nothing…







The music of Da Bing Bong Twinzz hits and the crowd immediately starts booing… but no one comes out from the entrance.

The music plays for a few more seconds and then just stops, and the action in the ring continues.



Bath, we were supposed to see either MC C-Munqqquee or Li’l Cash-App just now, but nobody came out...


Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Jacuinde!


Back in the ring, Molly Barnes has managed to send Barney Green crashing into the ring steps outside, allowing her to roll Mosh back into the squared circle.

Barnes drops him in a german suplex before hooking him up into the THREE MATES! She smashes his back into a stop sign with each vertical suplex, and the end result is a beaten and bruised Chris Mosh rolling himself to safety outside of the ring.

Barnes grabs the ladder in the ring and sets it up in a corner, then drags Jess Anderson onto it. She heads across the ring and takes a running start, leaping into a cannonball, but Summer Page pulls her partner to safety and Molly Barnes slams right into the unforgiving steel instead!

Doc Docherty exits the ring and goes after Barney Green as lays against the overturned ring steps, but as he reaches him Green pulls a fire extinguisher from under the ring and blasts Docherty right in the face with the white fire suppressant! Then he cracks him over the skull with the canister itself!

Green turns around right into a drop toe hold from Summer Page, and Jess Anderson has set his own battered trash can on the floor for his face to land on! Green is out cold!

The clock suddenly is at the zero mark yet again, and the Tron fires up…





Air raid sirens begin their cries of warning as the arena is plunged into darkness. As they reach their crescendo, and begin their fall, a single spotlight cuts through the dark, illuminating Holden Ross at the top of the ramp!

Ross marches down to the ring with nostrils flaring and nothing but rage in his eyes.




Uh oh, Bath! Holden Ross has been a force of nature… he beat Sierra Silver into the ground, attacked the IDL Champion and challenger after the main event, and most recently he won the Lord of Violence honors in the Medieval Melee in Toulouse! He’s been unstoppable!


And everyone in the ring is already hurt and tired… he’s going to do whatever he wants to these guys!


Ross enters the ring and Molly Barnes steps right into his face… and gets the life choke slammed out of her right back onto the ladder she just cannonballed into! The choke slam from Ross actually bends the ladder in half with its impact!

Barnes wails in agony and rolls out to the floor, and Chris Mosh nails Holden ross in the back with a double ax handle that causes the Abomination to stumble forward… but then he turns around and grabs the VIP by the throat, lifts him high over his head in a gorilla press, and tosses him out all the way into the front row! Fans have to jump from their seats to avoid getting hit as the former IDL Champion crashes into their chairs!

Summer Page and Jess Anderson just look on from outside the ring, keeping their distance from the Lord of Violence, and it’s essentially just Ross growling in the ring as the clock eventually ticks down once more to zero…







(Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I wanna be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us)

As the music kicks in, Sierra bursts through the curtain with all the energy in the world and a huge smile on her face. She runs over to the edge of the stage, pointing her Minecraft diamond sword prop out into the crowd before returning to the top of the ramp and striking a "supervillain" pose. She poses for a few seconds before taking a running start down the ramp, high fiving everyone she can on the way down.



Sierra Silver knows Holden Ross better than anyone else in the ring tonight - she’s still got to be feeling the effects of her one on one match with him a couple of months back!


She’s got her hands full that’s for sure, Jacuinde, but Sierra Silver does not know how to quit when she’s ahead… she’s making a beeline right for the Abomination!


Silver runs to the ring and hops up onto the ropes, leaping into a drop kick right into the sternum of Holden Ross. Ross is sent backward just as Page and Anderson yank down the top rope, causing Holden Ross to backflip out over the ropes and onto the floor, where he lands on top of Barney Green’s now flattened trash can!

Green himself enters the ring then and charges Silver, but Silver jumps into a hurricanrana that leaves Barney lying across the second rope… and Silver then nails the Si-1-9! Green is flattened, and Sierra Silver is FIRED UP!

Jess Anderson attacks Silver from behind as Summer Pages comes at her from the front - Silver grabs Anderson by the head and kicks off of Summer Page to lift herself into a standing shiranui on Anderson!

When she stands up, Summer Page runs at Silver with a clothesline, but Silver ducks under and backdrops Page out of the ring… right into the arms of a waiting Holden Ross! Ross runs Summer Page’s spine into the ring post and then flings her into the guardrail surrounding the ringside area.

Holden sneers and starts to climb into the ring just as the timer clicks to zero…







Purple and gold lights start flashing and Josslynn music hits as she walks out on stage with a smile across her face, flanked by her lover Jason Cashe. She runs down to the ring at top speed as Cashe follows a few steps behind.

As Holden Ross gets into the ring, Spencer slides in as well and stands side by side with Sierra Silver.



Joss Spencer is fresh off of a HUGE win this past Monday in France, and it looks like she is ready to keep that momentum going here at Relentless!


Good thing for Sierra Silver… Holden Ross is too much for any one woman to handle!


Silver and Spencer start circling Holden Ross and hitting him in the legs with strong kicks. When he takes a swing at Silver, Joss is there to chop block him in the back of the knee from behind, and he goes to a knee - and Sierra Silver plants him into the mat with a DDT!

Ross pushes himself up onto his hands and knees and then Joss Spencer hits THE FUTURE curb stomp on him, and Ross rolls out under the bottom rope to try and get his wits about him.

Jason Cashe from behind with a steel chair! But Ross turns in a flash and catches the chair shot, flinging the steel chair to the side and grabbing Cashe around the throat…

FLYING DEAR AGONY FROM JOSS SPENCER!

Spencer leaped from inside the ring and hit the backstabber on Holden Ross while he was distracted by her man, and Ross is on the floor wincing as Spencer scrambles back in just as the clock starts to wind down from 3… 2… 1…






Myra Rivers emerges with a smile as the fans blow up. It’s obvious she has people in the crowd familiar with her career, with one person in the front row holding a sign saying AND FINALLY… MYRA IS HERE!

Rivers saunters down to the ring, slapping hands as the crowd continues to cheer for the SCW star. She gets to the ring and stands in the ring next to Sierra Silver and Joss Spencer, looking out over the ropes where Holden Ross is now getting mudhole stomped by Jason Cashe.



Myra Rivers just adds a whole new wrinkle to this match… a skilled veteran and legend in SCW, she’s well on her way to the top of the ranks here on Madness!


The MILF of Madness! Everyone loves Myra… except maybe whoever has to get in the ring with her that day!


Rivers directs traffic a bit as she sees Holden Ross getting to his feet. She points to both Spencer and Silver and all three run to the opposite ropes and bounce off, hitting a triple baseball slide under the bottom rope as Ross stands, sending him flying into the railing!

Silver gets back in the ring as Joss Spencer pulls the ring steps over to the middle of the space between the ring and the railing, then she and Myra Rivers grab Ross and drape him over the steps where Cashe holds him in place as Silver climbs the turnbuckles…

SILVER SUN RISING ONTO THE STEPS!

Ross slides off the stairs onto the concrete and just lays there on his back, obviously hurting from the big impact.

Joss Spencer gets on the apron and looks like she might have an idea to follow up with, but Jess Anderson hits her with a running hip check from inside the ring and sends her soaring right into Myra Rivers instead!

Rivers thinks Joss Spencer attacked her, and she starts wailing on Spencer, who returns the favor with some shots of her own.

Cashe saw the whole thing play out and knows it’s better for his girl if she has some backup in this match, so he tries to pull Joss away from Myra… and gets cold cocked right in the nose by Rivers for his trouble! Myra Rivers just laid Jason Cashe OUT!

In the ring, Barney Green grabs Jess Anderson from behind in the GREEN DREAM! Anderson flails and kicks her legs as the clock counts down from 3… 2… 1…







Da Twinzz music hits for the second time and now BOTH members of Da Bing Bongs emerge from the back together!

MC C-Munqqquee and Li’l Ca$h-App run down to the ring and slide under the bottom rope, attacking Barney green from behind and beating him into the mat, allowing Jess Anderson to drop onto her face on the canvas.



So the Twinzz just decided instead of entering one at a time, they’d come down together! I’ve got to say, Bath… that’s not bad strategy!


It’s BRILLIANT, Jacuinde, which means someone had to have given them the idea… no way they’d have thought of it themselves!


Da Twinzz continue assaulting Barney, stomping and punching him as he covers up on the mat.

They beat on him until they're sure he won't get in the way, and then they move to Jess Anderson, pulling her up into their two-man VOLTRON BOMB!

Da Twinzz celebrate but they don't see Doc Docherty climbing into the ring behind them. He clobbers them with a double clothesline to the backs of their heads, then pulls them both up, whipping them one at a time into a corner so that they are stacked on each other… then runs in with a GENOCIDE KICK!

Both Twinzz are left in a pile in the ring, and Docherty then is able to drop Barney Green with the DOCHERTY PRIDE superkick right as the big man pulls himself to a vertical base.

Docherty stands tall as the clock hits zeroes…







LET ME MAKE ONE THING… PERFECTLY CLEAR!

Johnny Hitmaker leads his man Hide Yamazaki out of the entrance and Yamazaki walks straight down the aisle and right in the direction of Holden Ross without even looking at anyone else.



That is the look of a man with vengeance on his mind! Hde Yamazaki is out for BLOOD from Holden Ross!


And you can bet he’s gonna get it, Jacuinde! This is gonna be like two polar bears fighting over a pile of dead fish!!


Ross has just managed to get over the attack he suffered at the hands of Rivers, Spencer, and Silver, and as he turns to face the new arrival he gets blasted with a clubbing blow right to the chest.

Ross is sent back a step, and another when Hide cracks a knife edge chop to follow up.  Yamazaki doesn't wait for a response, and he grabs Ross in a bear hug and then runs him backward into the post!

Ross claps his arms together on either side of Hide's head, and the Strong Style Satanist is wobbled. Ross headbutts him next, and then slams him face first into the apron.

Yamazaki doesn't fold, though, instead he buried a knee into the guts of Holden Ross and then starts choking him! Ross goes down to a knee before slapping his own hand onto the throat of Yamazaki, choking him in return!

The clock once again ticks down to show 0:00…







Out from the back, a huge forklift emerges… and Darren Dangerous is behind the wheel! Darren is bleeding profusely from the forehead, yet he keeps ramming his head into the steering wheel as he moves slowly down the ramp.

The forklift does not move very quickly…



Darren Dangerous taking things to the EXTREME like always! A forklift? Anything can happen on Madness!


And we’ve only got one entrant left, Jacuinde… the mystery SPECIAL GUEST STAR! In sixty seconds all fifteen competitors will be in the ring and the Oscar will be lowered and able to be reached!


With Joss Spencer and Myra Rivers still going at it outside the ring, Sierra Silver has re entered the ring and gives a thumbs up to Doc Docherty as the Twinzz start to get back to their feet.

As the Twinzz stand up, Silver and Docherty send them flipping over the top with a tandem clothesline!

Silver gives Docherty a high five… and Docherty takes her out with a uranage! Docherty shrugs at the boos from the crowd and then drops to the mat and sinks in a DOC LOCK onto Silver! It's every man for himself after all!

Outside the ring, Myra Rivers hits Joss Spencer with a VIXEN KICK! Then she hops onto the apron and measures her… SPIRIT BREAKER from the apron!

Hide Yamazaki has Holden Ross bent over backwards across the time keeper's table, and Ross blasts him in the forehead with the ring bell! Yamazaki is knocked flat on his back with a geyser of blood from his head!

Here come Da Bing Bong Twinzz! They attack Holden Ross together, but almost immediately he has each of them around the throat, one in each hand… he turns back to the table and sends them both crashing through with a double goozle!

Da Twinzz roll in the splinters as the clock goes down one last time…

3… 2… 1…







It's Dick Powers!

Brand new to Madness, Dick Powers races down the aisle and actually climbs up onto Darren Dangerous' forklift as it approaches the ring… and he uses it to leap off of, over the ropes, and into a huge cross body splash that takes out Docherty, Anderson, Page, Green, and Silver all at once!



Darren Dangerous taking things to the EXTREME like always! A forklift? Anything can happen on Madness!


And we’ve only got one entrant left, Jacuinde… the mystery SPECIAL GUEST STAR! In sixty seconds all fifteen competitors will be in the ring and the Oscar will be lowered and able to be reached!


The Oscar Statue lowers from the rafters and is now reachable from the top of a ladder.

Dick Powers knows it, and he goes and gets a ladder from outside the ring… but Myra Rivers stops him.

Rivers grabs the other end of the ladder as Dick tries to get it into the ring, and she shoves it at him, squashing him against the apron with the ladder! Powers is down!

Rivers slides the ladder into the ring and follows it in, then she starts setting it up.

A bloody and battered Chris Mosh finally reenters the fight from the pile of steel chairs he's been buried under, grabbing another ladder and looking to slide it in. Molly Barnes stops him though, and she smashes him in the face with the MUGSHOT running headbutt! The ladder ends up leaned against the ropes, and Molly gets grabbed from behind by Holden Ross, who chucks her against Darren's forklift!

Hide Yamazaki is back! He has a face covered with crimson, but he grabs Ross by the shoulder and turns him around into THE DEVIL!

Yamazaki pits the boots to him, ignoring the goings on inside the ring in favor of just exacting some revenge on Ross.

In the ring, Myra Rivers has started climbing. Barney Green grabs her by the ankle as Jess Anderson and Summer Page each slip out of the ring to grab their own ladders. Soon there are three set up side by side, and the Privileged Elite race up on either side of Rivers, who stomps Green in the face to get free.

Doc Docherty climbs up the other side of Myra's ladder, and opposite Anderson a groggy Sierra Silver ascends. Opposite Page, Molly Barnes has slid into the ring and started climbing.

Eventually, all six are standing near the tops of the three ladders, and they are all trading shots with each other and trying to reach the statue as it dangles just out of reach.

Molly Barnes gets a finger on the Oscar!

But then something truly out of left field happens…

Outside, Darren Dangerous has planted the forks of his forklift under the ring. He slams the lever forward, and the lift raises up!

The ring is lifted up off the floor on one side! And as the forklift pulls it up to full height, the ring is left at a nearly 45 degree angle! The three ladders and the six people on top of them, along with the others in the ring, are all sent falling out the opposite side! It's like a ten car pileup on the floor outside the ring!

The crowd chants HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! And the pile of bodies and ladders is left in a tangle.

On the other side of the ring, Dick Powers gets into the cab of the forklift and starts choking Darren Dangerous with the shoulder strap of his own seat belt. DARREN WORE HIS SEAT BELT!

Hide Yamazaki and Holden Ross are continuing to beat the ever loving piss out of each other with the stiffest shots imaginable. Both men are visibly swelling around the eyes and their chests are red and purple and even splitting open from the chops and clubbing forearms.

Hide catches one of Ross's arms when Ross goes for a punch, and then the other the same way. Hide starts blasting head butts into Holden Ross's face as fast as he can hit them! Five, ten, twenty, and soon Ross is bleeding from a flattened nose!

Hide lets go and takes a step back, then slams a big boot into Ross, and it sends Ross staggering back to where he is standing directly underneath the raised-up ring!

Dick Powers kicks the forklift into reverse while still choking Darren, who is now a deep purple spigot of blood spewing from his head.

The forklift lurches backward…

And the ring falls back down RIGHT ON TOP OF HOLDEN ROSS!

Hide Yamazaki takes a seat on the apron and just breathes deep, meditating, seemingly uninterested in winning the match itself.

Chris Mosh ends up getting into a verbal altercation with Jason Cashe outside the ring, and Joss Spencer gets behind Mosh before sending an uppercut into his family jewels! Mosh falls over and Spencer gets into the ring, Cashe helping her by sliding ladder in.

Spencer sets up the ladder and starts climbing. Shockingly, a dusty and ripped up Myra Rivers slides a different ladder and has it set leaning into the main ladder, with its other end balanced on the middle rope like a bridge. Myra walks across the ladder bridge and then starts climbing the other side!

Spencer and Rivers meet at the top, and Spencer looks like she's about to knock Rivers off after smacking her a dozen times with hard right hands… but then Rivers grabs Joss by the hair and slams her face into the top of the ladder!

Joss Spencer falls all the way down to the mat, and Myra is left at the top… but wait! Sierra Silver runs up the ladder that’s been leaned up against the outside of the ring all this time, even somehow staying put when the ring got lifted and slammed back down!

Silver runs up the ladder and leaps off of the top rope when she gets there, landing right on top of the central ladder in the ring, face to face with Myra! Myra rocks Sierra with a hard shot, and Sierra returns the favor with one of her own! Both women knock each other so hard that at one point each one is dangling back and barely hanging on by a couple of fingers.

Sierra takes one last big swing but Myra ducks! She pulls Sierra up so that both of them are balancing precariously on the very top landing of the ladder, and Myra lifts Sierra onto her shoulder…


REBEL BOMB!


OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!!


ONTO THE PERPENDICULAR LADDER BRIDGE!!!!!


Somehow Myra escaped taking much of any impact from the move, but it leaves Sierra Silver dangling from the ladder, her arms and legs limp.

Myra River scampers back up the ladder just as several others start to drag themselves into the ring like zombies.

Rivers gets to the top… and she grabs the Oscar! Myra Rivers wins the Madness Walk of Fame Match!

Winner - Myra Rivers

There you have it, Bath... Myra Rivers wins the very first EVER Madness Hollywood Walk of Fame Match right here on XWF Relentless! What an incredible spectacle this match was!


I've never seen anything like it, Jacuinde! There was a freakin' FORKLIFT! But at the end of the day, Mommy Myra took home the Best Wrestler Oscar tonight... and she's gonna reap the rewards in a few months!


I had a blast here on Relentless... thank you to Vinnie Lane and everyone else involved with getting Madness onto the biggest show of the year! I'm off to watch the rest of the action backstage, Bath, what about you?


They've got it playing at the titty bar, Jacuinde! I'm headed there!

---

Backstage in the hallway, Lexi Gold is seen warming up for her match against Jenny Myst. It was a big night for her as this was the final battle to determine who will come out on top as she paces back and forth, dressed in her ring gear as she tries to get her emotions in check. As she turns around, she accidentally bumps into backstage interviewer Marv Smegma who is making his first pay-per-view debut. They both exchange smiles, and he starts the interviewing process.

Marv Smegma: Ms. Gold, it is such an honor to stand before you on a big night such as tonight. You got your hands full when you face Jenny Myst, but there is some speculation that you could lose to her again. Thoughts on that?

She placed a hand on her hips and looked up at the ceiling, knowing there will be doubters who don't believe she has any chance of beating Jenny, then returned eye contact towards him.

Lexi Gold: That does not surprise me. She did beat me the first time and I don't exactly hold a collection of wins in my record book to show off, but at the same time, I know my potential and know what I'm capable of bringing to the table when it comes to a fight like this. I also know how she operates in the ring too. She may even use her mind games and cheating ways to her advantage, but in the end those will work against her and I will walk away victorious whereas she wallows away in her failure.

Marv Smegma: You have a big task if you want to overcome the former Television Champion. Should you do that tonight, what is next for you? Is there anyone else you would like to face, or possibly team with?

Lexi Gold: I'm not going to name-drop, so I'll just say I welcome anyone that is contracted to the XWF who wants to step up and challenge me whether we fought in the past or not, I'm not going to deny them.

Marv nods and adjusts his suit before continuing.

Marv Smegma: It'll be interesting to see who decides to accept your invitation, but nevertheless thank you for your time Ms. Gold and best of luck out there.

Lexi Gold: Thanks.

Lexi smiles and walks off, thinking about her open invitation in her mind as the scene fades.

---

PC: This one is gonna be…er….interesting. Our Back to the Future Themed Relentless night one rolls on with a match that screams Vinnie Lane’s creation.

HHL: Oh, for sure. This is straight out of the brain of the boss!



“5 out of 6” by Dessa plays and Lexi Gold appears from behind the makeshift curtain to a chorus of cheers from the crowd that has gathered around outside to watch.  She slowly makes her way down the ramp and gazes out on the sea of heads under the California sun before she runs towards fans at ringside and slaps their hands on the way down.

PC: A true hero in this business, Lexi Gold does everything the right way. She is a role model and an inspiration to all the little girls out there who have a dream!

HHL: How much was that paid spot?

The Golden Goddess then makes her way up the steps and goes through the bottom rope and taunts a bit before she makes her way toward the center where her eyes remain fixated on the stage as she awaits her opponent's music to hit next.



HHL: Here we go, Pip!

: The XWF’s resident lunatic! This chick is a few eggs short of an Easter basket and has had a fixation on Lexi Gold for months now! These two have been back and forth and the chapter of this book closes right now in Hollywood!

Jenny walks out and looks at the crowd with a blank look, squinting slightly in the glare of the sunliught. She then smiles, waving to everyone, and skips to the ring, sliding in and popping up with the same big cheesing grin. She looks very carefree as if the magnitude of fighting at such a major event didn’t affect her.

Match #4 JENNY MYST - vs - LEXI GOLD Peeping Jane Match This match will take place in a ring dropped smack in the middle of Bushnell Avenue. In order to win you must exit the ring and ascend a big tree next to the ring. Nest you climb out onto a branch with a direct view into the bedroom of Lorraine Baines at 1727 Bushnell Ave. Special Guest Referee - Lea Thompson as 1955 Lorraine Baines One Pinfall Savage Rules

Lea Thompson, dressed as Lorraine Bates, signals for the bell to ring and the crowd cheers as this match gets under way. Lexi is the aggressor early as she charges, swinging at Jenny, who ducks it and slides behind, wrapping her arms around Lexi’s waist. Lexi elbows out of it and spins around, putting the same hold on Jenny. Jenny goes to elbow out the same way but Lexi moves her head. She lifts Jenny up by the waist, going for a belly to back suplex, but Jenny counters in mid air and lands on her feet. Lexi turns around and Jenny goes for a standing drop kick but Lexi has her well scouted, and steps back. Jenny wipes out like Charlie Brown trying to kick a football and lands on her back. Lexi wastes no time, grabbing her legs and twisting them into a sharp shooter position. She sits down deep into it.

PC: And this is brutal. Why? Well, you can’t win this way! Jenny can tap until the cows come home and unless Lexi climbs that tree she can’t win! This is strictly punishment, this is to teach Jenny a lesson!

HHL: Or its her not knowing the match stipulations and making a mistake that could cost her later…..

Jenny winces, reaching for the ropes, but Lexi has it in deep. Jenny’s face is a mask of pain, but she knows tapping does no good. Jenny, in a desperate attempt to break the hold reaches into her bra. She is going for the pepper spray canister. She’s got it! She reaches back and releases in the direction of Lexi. Lexi turns her face at the last second but the mace blasts Lea Thompson directly in the face! She yells, grabbing her face, clearly not being prepared for WHO she was in the ring with and expected her cushy celeb ref job to be easy.

Lexi, however, doesn’t break the hold. Jenny puts her head down on the mat as Lexi sits even deeper, bending Jenny and that already sensitive and surgically repaired back almost into a C. Jenny screams again, her yells matching Thompson’s. Just then, someone comes out of the crowd. A woman. She has long black hair, a hat, and dark sunglasses. She is wearing a hoodie despite it being 75 degrees outside and jeans with Doc Martens. She slides into the ring and reaches into the hoodie pocket. She puts something on her hand. Jenny is tapping hopelessly in the center of the ring when the woman looks at the celeb ref one more time. She till had her hands over her eyes. The woman from the crowd hauls off and decks Lexi. She drops like a rock, letting go of Jenny who winces, holding her back, a look of relief on her face. The woman calmly takes off the BRASS KNUCKS and puts them back into her pocket.

PC: What the hell was that?! Who the hell is that?! Jenny was dead to rights in the center of the ring and just got bailed out by this bimbo in black!

HHL: I think we’re about to find out, Pip!

The woman slides out of the ring as security swarms to get the “fan” out of there. Just as she is cornered by security, she makes eye contact with Jenny. She takes off the sunglasses and black wig, letting her blonde and pink hair fall to her shoulders.

ASH QUINN! IT’S ASH QUINN!

PC: Ahhhh damnit! Jenny’s little buddy! Someone get her out of here!

She mouths “I’m sorry” at Jenny, who looks more irritated than pleased now, and jumps over the barricade and into the crowd. Security gets chase.

Jenny uses the ropes to get herself up. Bushnell Avenue is buzzing now as the ref, Lex and Jenny all come to about the same time. Jenny is slowly getting herself up, ‘Lorraine’s’ face is stained red from the pepper spray, and Lexi is on all fours, shaking off the unexpected knuckle shot.

Jenny sees the position shes in and yells a frustrated yell, charging and kicking Lexi right in the ribs. There is a sickening thud as Lexi cries out and rolls over onto her back. Jenny is enraged now, stepping on Lexi’s hair and pulling her arms up. Lexi cries out again as her scalp and shoulder joints are on fire. Lea Thompson doesn’t know she’s supposed to count to five, so Jenny keeps the pressure on for far longer than a normal match would allow. When she finally lets go, Lexi grabs at her scalp. Jenny picks her up by the head and throws her into the corner. She gingerly walks over, holding her back, and chops Lexi once across the chest.

“YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME!?”

She chops her again.

”I am DONE playing with YOU!

She chops Lex again and whips her into the far corner. Lexi bounces off the turnbuckle and into the center of the ring and Jenny delivers with a clubbing forearm to the face, knocking her down.

PC: Myst’s entire demeanor has changed here. She has become unhinged ever since seeing Quinn out here!

HHL: In her mind state, it was only a matter of time. Ash Quinn or not, this chica is crazy!

Jenny leg sweeps Lexi as soon as she stands up and the grabs her by the hair and drags her out of the ring. She looks up at the big tree facing the Baines house. ”Lets go…”

Jenny pulls her out of the ring by her hair. Lexi’s back hits the makeshift mat on the outside. The fans are yelling something, reaching over the barricade. ”SHUT UP! she yells at them. Picking Lexi up she grabs her by the head again and shoves it into the fans that are flooding the street. Lexi has a tiny bit of blood running from her nose from the forearm shot.

”THIS IS YOUR HERO! LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT HER! She smiles a wicked smile and then tosses Lexi into the ring post back first. Jenny laughs as Lexi tries to crawl away, holding her back.

Jenny grabs her by the hair again, dragging her up the makeshift ramp towards the big tree. It was this extra time that Lexi used to recoup, even just a little, and when they got to the base of the tree Lexi explodes out of her compromised position and runs Jenny back and shoulder first into the base of the big wooden tree. Jenny crumbles, holding her already sore back. Lexi doesn’t even take the time to continue the offense, but instead begins to climb to large tree. Jenny sees this, though, and begins to climb also. The crowd is cheering Lexi on, wanting her to get to the top of the tree first. Lea Thompson grabs a set of binoculars from the announcer table, looking at the two as they progress up the tree. The two women get to the top branch before they meet up again. The two women stand up on the branch at the same time. Both wobble as they throw their hands up in victory. In the ring, Lea Thompson is befuddled.

PC: LEXI DID IT! LEXI WON!

HHL: They both got to the branch at the same time, Pip! Literally a photo finish! Lorraine has to make a decision here!

She hesitates, and Jenny almost falls off the branch to the street below. Lexi notices that she is having balance issues and tight ropes back up the branch. She grabs Jenny by the hair and bounces it off the tree. The other branches shake as Jenny steps back, her foot slipping. She catches herself from falling, hanging from the tree in desperation.

HHL: A fall from this height onto the concrete, that’ll kill her!

PC: You promise?

HHL: That’s still a human being we’re talking about! That’s terrible!

Lexi knows it too. She looks at if she is going to stomp on the fingers of Jenny, ending this match and perhaps her life, but compassion washes over Lexi’s face. She instead reaches down and helps Jenny back up onto the branch.

HHL: YES! That’s human compassion right there! At the end of the day this is more than just a wrestling match!

PC: So Lexi wins, right?! Lexi wins?! LORRAINE MAKE A DAMN DECISION!

She still has no idea how to call it, and she is talking to the ring staff as the two women teeter high above. Just then, Jenny sees the open window leading into Lorraine’s bedroom. She scampers down the branch and into the room. Lexi looks down at the celebrity ref, who still hasn’t made a decision, and shrugs in frustration. She makes her way down the branch as well and into the bedroom. As soon as she gets to her feet she is whacked in the face by a prop rotary phone, stumbling her back into Lorraine’s vanity. Jenny comes out from around the corner.

Lea Thompson is racing up the steps of the house now.

Jenny has Lexi on top of the vanity night stand. A knee to the gut and Jenny picks her up by the hair, bringing her face to her own.

”You should have killed me! she says with a sick grin. ”Game over”

Just as Lea opens the door to the bedroom Jenny hits Myst Opportunities (Sister Abigail) on top of the vanity. It collapses in, chips of wood and metal flying all over. She makes the sign of the cross over Lexi’s limp body as she looks at Lea.

”COUNT!”

She does.


1

























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3!

PC: Damnit. The bitch wins again.

HHL: What a match though. This one had everything! But once again it is the veteran Myst being a little more savvy and taking advantage of the chaos!

Jenny climbs out of the rubble of the bedroom and snarls at Lea before walking down the steps of the house as Relentless cuts to the next scene.

Winner - Jenny Myst

---

UGWC Massive Melee - Coming up 10/3/2022!

---

The crowd erupts as the tandem of Dolly Waters and Vita emerge out to the top of the ramp to a nice ovation from the crowd. They make their way to the ring tagging some hands along the way. The duo enters the ring, staring over at their opponents.







We the X-Tron come to life with the words THUGS in red font, and smoke comes out of the stage and the camera see's Tommy coming out first trash talking to the camera, then JB follows behind as he raises his fist in the air as they walk down to the ring. At the ramp area, Tommy and JB smack talk some people, and they both climb to the ring and enter it and bask in the mixed reactions as their theme cuts off.







The entirely epic X-Tron video of TNGB takes over the arena as the lights dim. A spotlight highlights the ramp, and Thunder Knuckles walks out onto the entrance ramp, hyped and ready to fight, pointing out into the crowd. Behind him, Bobby Bourbon deliberately walks out and stops, also pointing out into the crowd. Both men glance at each other and clink their Tag Team Championships together, then in unison point into the ring. The crowd sings along with the song.

ASSHOLE, DIRTBAG, NO GOOD BASTARDS!

TK slides into the ring and gets up onto a knee, beckoning the crowd as Bobby climbs the steps and enters the ring behind him. TK stands and appeals to the crowd as Bobby raises his arms at 45-degree angles.

Match # 5 Featuring Musical Guest - Harry Waters Junior and The Starlighters performing - Earth Angel "THE THUGS' TOMMY WISH AND JOHN BLACK - vs - "THE MIDNIGHT DOLLS" VITA VALENTEEN AND DOLLY WATERS - vs - "THEM NO GOOD BASTARDS" BOBBY BOURBON AND THUNDER KNUCKLES Enchantment Under The Sea Brawl This match takes place within the gymnasium of Hill Valley High School - Weapons Encouraged Special Guest Referee - Thomas F. Wilson as 1955 Biff Tannen Warfare Tag Team Rules

All three teams hesitantly look at one another, unsure of how to start things. All the people within the Hill Valley Gymnasium share the same attitude, awkwardly giving side-eyes to the group of competitors as they shuffle to the side, dates holding each other close while trying to make the most out of this.

Pip: So, uh… how the Hell is this about to go down? It doesn’t really look like there’s a ring bell anywhere around here, y’know…

HHL: Your guess is as good as mine, Pip - I’m not sure if there is a way to tell if a match is starting in here…

The Starlighters are already on the stage though, looking over the dance and shrugging to each other as their instruments come to life, signaling the beginning of the dance with their songs!





HHL: I guess that’s as good as we’ll be getting…

Pip: Y’know Heather, hot take, but I hate this song, honestly. More dumb overrated 50’s crap.

HHL: I wouldn’t mention that in front of management if I were you.

Of course, a familiar sight is seen stepping forward in a black and white referee’s shirt with a cocky smile on his face to try bringing things along…



Biff Tannen leers at the Midnight Dolls, who fidget uncomfortably beneath Biff’s gaze, forced to go along with things for now given his position.

Biff Tannen: Well? The Hell are you guys waiting around for? Get fighting!

Them No Good Bastards make the first move, practically shoving the THUGS out of the way as they eagerly eye up the Midnight Dolls, wagging their fingers and clearly wanting some as they nod their heads fervently! Dolly and Vita look at each other and nod, before rushing Bourbon and TK as fast as they can! Fists go flying throughout as they’re trying to pressure them as much as possible, the two of them breaking off into separate one-on-one packs.

HHL: Fast and energetic start to our main event here as all three teams are trying to go for the gold!

Pip: C’mon, TK, hit Dolly hard in the face!

TNGB quickly come back to life, using their size and power to deliver some hard shots at the Dolls to cut them off at the pass, forcing them to flinch and hold themselves from the hard, stiff blows. However, the Dolls manage to respond, using their own energy and power to forcefully shove both members of TNGB back!

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

John Black came from out of nowhere from behind, chop blocking Robbie with a folded-up chair! Bourbon crumbles onto all fours as Biff looks taken aback - he was clearly pulling for him, but that’s going out the window right in front of his eyes! Black raises the chair, bringing it down onto the targeted knee of Bourbon!

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRAAAAAAAAAACK!

Biff visually winces, and he brings JB away so he can properly kneel down and check on Bourbon, who’s already groaning under the pressure as he looks to be popping his kneecap into place! TK grits his teeth, trying to go after JB, but Tommy Wish hits him with a hard forearm to the back of the head, sending him stumbling into Dolly Waters with a spinning back fist that drops TK to his knees, his stars spinning!

HHL: Both the THUGS and the Dolls working together to take out Them No Good Bastards in the early going here - I wonder how long their efforts will last here for during this match?

Pip: This can’t be happening! Our icon, Television Champion Bobby Bourbon, just got mauled from behind with a cheap shot from John Black! That was a heinous action, and who knows if he’ll be able to even walk again, let alone defend his TV title in two days, or even win this match-up here tonight!

HHL: I have a sneaking suspicion he’ll manage to get through this match alright… besides, he’d likely do the same to other-

Pip: Shh, shh, look!

With one team out of the way, the remaining two teams look at each other, before wasting no time and getting right back into where they started! Dolly pairs off with John Black and heads out onto the dance floor with her as Dolly’s trying to be coy with how fast she’s hitting him, which leaves Vita and Wish heading over to the decorations area!

Wish has the clear size advantage on Vita and tries using it to the best of his abilities, trying to go in with some hard punches that rock Vita back over to the nearby wall! Wish tries to press his advantage, but Vita shows off a bit of her vampiric reflexes as she comes back to life, grabbing Tommy Wish by the throat and practically SHOVING him into the nearby wall - and right after, she follows it up by grabbing him over the shoulders, and bashing him into the wall with a RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP!

HHL: Ouch, hard shot there by Vita! For those of you watching along with us, there’s nothing protecting their heads there! That’s just pure concrete Tommy Wish’s skull just met!

Pip: I think he deserves it for how he helped gang up on Them No Good Bastards! And I hope the other three get theirs, too!

HHL: And I think you need to stop showing bias as a commentator…

Vita tries to go for a quick pin attempt to wrap things up, snapping her fingers to get Biff’s attention! Biff goes over, hesitantly getting down on his feet to make the cover, though he makes sure to keep a long eye on Vita while he’s down there…

OOOOOOOONE!





TWOOOOOOOOO!





KICKOUT!

HHL: Fast kickout there - Wish still has a lot more to go!

Vita shakes her head in annoyance, but tries going back to work. She sees Wish is slow to get back to his feet, and she tries to keep up the pressure by going in from behind with a running Bulldog! But wait! Wish manages to catch himself - AND catch Vita - and reverses the Bulldog attempt into an Atomic Drop! Vita’s tailbone gets hit hard as she winces, rubbing her sore spot.

But that gives Tommy Wish AMPLE time to take down one of the nearby banners hung up on the wall, instead taking it to Vita and using it to try STRANGLING HER! WISH TRIES APPLYING AS MUCH PRESSURE AS HE CAN FOR DEAR LIFE AS VITA SCRATCHES AND CLAWS AT THE HOLD, BUT HER AIR IS SLOWLY FADING! Biff gives Tommy a slow look of respect and a nod at the sight, as Vita is fighting not to tap out!

HHL: Desperation time for Vita Valenteen with the Tag titles on the line - can she get out of this?!

The answer is no, as Tommy brings her up in order to hit her with the J-BOMB POWERBOMB RIGHT ONTO THE HARD FLOOR! Vita practically gets folded up like an accordion here!

Pip: You know, I’d ask if we could get away with showing this kind of stuff live on Pay-Per-View, but then I remembered they don’t really care about this kind of stuff in the 50’s, didn’t they?

HHL: …

Meanwhile…

Dolly is doing her best to keep a respectable amount of distance away from John Black as the crowd of Hill Valley High students continues to try awkwardly stepping away from them. She’s trying to use her kicks to disable him, but JB’s reach is keeping her on the ropes. Dolly’s trying to find some way to move throughout this, but as she’s trying to figure out how to do so, there’s a bit of commotion on the stage…

Pip: Oh, finally, Earth Angel’s done. I wonder what they’re gonna play next…

The Starlighters quickly gather around, and only a few snippets could be made out from their conversation.

“The match isn’t over yet guys, what do we do?”

“Well, the deal is…”

“What do you mean we were only contracted to do only one…”

“We’re gonna have to…”

The hurried discussion continues between the bandmates before they separate.

“Alright guys, take it from the top-”




Pip: Wait… this is just Earth Angel all over again! Are you kidding me - we’re gonna have to listen to this on REPEAT?!

HHL: Ah, yes, my condolences that you have to listen to a classic song yet again…

As the beat starts back up again though, Dolly allows herself to start grooving to it as her footwork starts to pick up pace! She starts slipping and weaving through the heavy strikes JB is trying to throw at her, and instead starts responding with lightning-fast kicks to the legs!

JB is trying to keep his posture well, but he gets taken by surprise as Dolly takes to the ground to hit a legsweep that looks awfully more like a breakdancing move! The spectators murmur to each other about the strange moves on display, but Dolly follows up the display by getting back up onto her feet and hitting a standing moonsault on the downed JB!

HHL: Impressive display by Dolly as she used the music to her advantage!

Pip: Yeah, yeah, I guess she made the best of a bad situation in having to hear Earth Angel again…

Dolly allows herself a brief moment of reprieve, with a smile on her face and enjoying the moment… only to get hit with a SUPERKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY THUNDER KNUCKLES!

Pip: Now that’s what I like to see!

Dolly falls onto all fours now, holding her head as she tries to protect herself from the raining boots from TK, but there’s only so much she can do in a situation like this! A rescue in this case though comes from an unlikely source, as John Black manages to get on his feet and hits TK with a running shoulder tackle! TK stumbles back from the impact as JB hits him with a sharp kick to the gut to make him double over.

Looking over on the other side of the gym and seeing Wish put the boots to Vita, John hollers over to bring Wish towards him, who upon seeing TK quickly comes back to help a brotha out. The two deliver a double boot to the gut for TK, bringing him along now.

HHL: John Black directing traffic here, and I can see only evil intentions coming for Thunder Knuckles here!

Pip: C’mon, Bobby! Get up! You gotta get up!

Wish and JB manage to bring Knuckles over to the refreshment table, talking to each other quietly about what to do. But out of nowhere, Knuckles manages to get back upright out of nowhere, shoving John Black aside so he can take Tommy Wish by the head and SHOVE HIM IN THE BOWL OF POTATO CHIPS!

Pip: I wonder how good those taste…

HHL: If you want, you can head over and grab some.

Pip: Yeah… no thanks. I’ll stay right where I am.

Before TK could follow up though, John Black manages to grab him from behind and dunks him RIGHT INTO THE BOWL OF PUNCH! The drink goes flying as Black holds TK’s face right in the drink, keeping him held tight! Wish takes his own face out of the chips, proceeding to smash and dump the bowl right on the submerged TK’s head! JB is directing traffic once more as Wish grabs another table before heading onto the table… he’s lining up his mark…

TOMMY WISH HITS A CHAIR-ASSISTED LEGDROP ONTO THUNDER KNUCKLES THROUGH THE REFRESHMENT TABLE!

HHL: This gives a new meaning to ‘food fight’ - I think Thunder Knuckles is really out of it now!

Pip: This can’t be happening! This isn’t happening!

Realizing that this match is going to be almost over unless something drastic happens, Biff looks over to the downed Bobby Bourbon who’s still holding onto his leg! Biff almost snarls at him, before getting down in order to reach over towards him. Bringing his hand into a fist, he starts knocking on Bourbon’s skull!

Biff Tannen: Hello? Hello? Anyone home? Hey, think Bobby, think! You gotta get your ass up, you hear me?

Bourbon grunts, managing to stumble onto all fours before placing his weight down and hoisting himself up onto his feet. He’s still walking with an obvious limp, but it’s clear he’s doing his best!

Pip: Look at this, Heather! Look at the remarkable resiliency on display by the HERO of the XWF, Bobby Bourbon himself as he’s still fighting on despite this terrible injury!

HHL: Heart of a champion…

Pip: You’re damn right, Heather! You’re damn right!

The THUGS are about to cover TK to try and end things, but Bourbon barrels through out of nowhere to take them both out with a double lariat! His leg threatens to buckle underneath him, and he bares it with an agonized expression, but it’s clear to see that those chair shots from earlier have done a lot of damage on him.

Bourbon wastes no time however, picking up Tommy Wish and roaring into the air, before trying to pop him up into the air for the Dinosaur Extinctor! But Bobby’s leg threatens to give out as he has Tommy Wish in the air up high, causing him to delay just enough for Tommy to knee Bobby right in the face! Bobby finally lets go, allowing for Tommy to head back down to the ground and try getting some fresh air.

But wait! Out of nowhere, from behind! Dolly Waters darts in past Bourbon, springboarding off of the wall to come back and hit Bobby with the Ode to Joy springboard uppercut! The blow lands clean on the jaw, forcing Bobby back and into the waiting clutches of Vita Valenteen, who hits Bobby with a-

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEERMAAAAAAAAAAAN! SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPLEX!

HHL: What unreal strength and synergy by the Midnight Dolls! The perks of teamwork are showing themselves quite nicely here!

Pip: Bobby! You gotta get up! You gotta! YOU GOTTAAAAAAAA!


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3!!!

Winners and NEW XWF Tag Team Champions - The Midnight Dolls

HHL: Dolly and Vita did it, Pip! They knocked off the greatest tag team the XWF has seen in a decade... and The Bastards too!

Pip: I just lost... SO... so much money, Heather. So much money. Oh my god... they're going to break my kneecaps! HEATHER HELP ME!

HHL: Get off of me, Pip! I know some people who can disappear you, call me in the morning... because for now, we are ALL DONE with Relentless! Night one is in the books, everybody, tune in tomorrow night for more incredible action when the XWF comes BACK... to RELENTLESS!!!

Pip: I'm a dead man... I'm a dead man...