“All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.”
--Edgar Allan Poe

Entrenched in everyone’s memory is a nightmare in which the most dreaded moment of fear has encapsulated and overtaken our emotions. A place we would like to forget, but it has gained complete control of us as we drift farther and farther off into sleep and at that moment it owns us. What may seemingly take place but for only a minute; is instead unfortunately embracing everything in our sphere of existence and influence at that unfortunate long moment, and haunts us heinously for what seems like an eternity. Grasping at the bottom of our bedsheets as our hearts beat 666 times per hour with balms of sweat perusing through our skin and dripping from our pores like cold icicles dangling off the edge of an eavestrough.

It really was just a dream, wasn’t it? You plead to the soul that is located somewhere down within that bottom of your gut of yours… or perhaps trapped in the back of your brain panicking for an instant. Can you pull yourself together and realize you just had another one of your horrific hallucinations? Fear can find its way into anyone's mind because it is the oldest and strongest emotion since the dawn of human existence, and in the back of your mind it will lay dormant and find its inconsequential subliminal presence and make it known over and over again when you least expect it. Every single time waking up randomly throughout your life lost in that moment between a nightmarish dream and reality.

One night you’re falling off the edge of your bed and you keep falling… and falling… and falling into a pit of neverending despair. The next night you’re wife and children are being murdered mercifully before your eyes while you’re tied up in the corner. The next night you wake up singing Creed songs in complete harmony and can’t get them out the back of your head as they repeat on an endless loop of infinite replay. No matter what your worst nightmare may ultimately be, you can rest assured that it will never escape you and has become a part of your tormented psyche…

When you are wiph meeeeeeee…..

I’m phreeeeeeeeee!!!

I’m careless I believe.


The blast of desert winds sprays tiny bits of sand in various directions at incredibly high speeds causing visibility to be of a near-impossible distinction much further than 6 feet in front of the face. As the sands blow endless plumes of dust and debris up into the air and across the side of the face, stinging the skin as it travels at a tremendous neverending pace from east to west getting faster and faster by each nanosecond spent reveling in the nothingness. A cry far off into the distance brings alert to the lost traveler, which captures his attention and takes him off scurrying to find the loud wrenching screams that came pulsating through the soundwaves and momentarily were able to tune out the monotonous humming of the windy desert.

Again, but this time louder and more fluent they came into earshot were the cries, except abruptly they began to sound more like laughter than emaciating fear. A rush of excitement comes over the lost traveler, as he can not help himself but run closer to the voice. Finally, after a few skips of his heartbeat frantically frolicking and pulling back with his hands what felt like curtains of gravel whirling around him in a fury of tornadoes, he found what he was looking for. The most grotesque and macabre scene to ever lay witness before the human eyes.

Unknown Soldier, the most devious and despicable man to ever grace the existence of the XWF is seen being crucified on a cross with his arms spread out wide open and nailed to a white wooden cross sticking out of the desert floor. His feet dangling beneath him, dripping off a constant and slow steady stream of blood into a pool in a dried-up lump of sand beneath his feet. He must have lost his damn mind as he giggles with glee despite his life-threatening loss of blood and injuries, He appears to be singing some type of crappy Christian rock song as loud as fucking possible…

Unknown Soldier: “Will Flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Which brings tears to my eyes…

MY! Sacrifice!”

A roar of thunder and a jolt of lightning come crashing down right on top of the middle of the cross and electrocute the demonic do-badder. Like in those cartoons his skeleton and his skin flash back and forth quickly like a seizure light going on and off. Which then causes the scene to abruptly end as if the power on some low-quality television studio set just went out.


"Wake the fuck up bro!"

Vinnie Lane says shaking Unknown Soldier violently who was passed out on the couch, but suddenly is awakened abruptly and sent into a sudden panic.

Unknown Soldier: "Don't fucking touch me , get the hell away from me."

Vinnie Lane: "What's your problem dude, we need to go out there and defend our XWF tag team championship in ten minutes, you need to wake up and get ready!"

Unknown Soldier: "Whoa... Whoa... wait, you and me ain't no XWF fuckin' tag team champions. You're my worst enemy you petulant pink shit stain."

Vinnie Lane: "Man, that electrocution must have really friend your brains, my dude, we've been tag team champions and best friends for years actually. Just yesterday you called me your best bub!"

Unknown Soldier: "No, no, no... I hate you. You hate me. Stop messing around and jerking me off like I'm some two-dollar street john parked in a dark alley."

Vinnie Lane: "Get yourself together quickly we've got to defend our tag team championships in a tag match at Leap of Faith, and one of the members of the team is the Universal Champion."

Unknown Soldier: "Who is the Universal Champion?"

You could tell he was almost dreading the question the second he asked it in this fucked up backward Alice in Wonderland type shit that was taking place.

Vinnie Lane: "Same person it's been for the last 666 years. The most dominant wrestler in the history of the XWF. Ghost Tank...."

Soldier's jaw hits the ground. I mean literally hits the ground like one of those cartoons where their jaw stretches completely to the ground.

Unknown Soldier: "Someone better pinch me as hard as fucking possible because this has got to be some kind of dream."

Not being able to bear the realization of his reality, Unknown Soldier takes off running out of the arena where he was scheduled to wrestle.

Vinnie Lane: "Where are you going bub we got a tag team championship match to win!"

Sprinting as fast as he can he takes off down the street, only to notice that the streets are lined with churches. There's a Christian church next to a church across the street from a church! Churchs are fucking everywhere! He sits down on a bench, and suddenly off in the background on some small boys boom box walking past A Christian rock song by Creed can be heard. He panics and takes off towards a water fountain to parch his dry mouth, but comes to discover that the fountain consists entirely of holy water as he spits it out with blood and fire coming off the edge of his lips. What the fuck! He takes off in another direction to see a group of Christmas carolers singing Creed songs in the streets! He panics yet again, turns around, and runs for a little while before discovering that he finds himself at a live concert of Creed! Over his shoulder, he can see Vinnie chasing after him holding up the XWF tag team championships and a picture of Ghost Tank wearing the Universal Championship to prove to him that this is all real.

A flop sweat comes foaming down his face and a look of sheer panic comes over him. He can't take it anymore. If this is his life and if this is his new reality then this is just not living anymore. He takes off into one of the Churches and runs through each room, frantically looking for something certain and particular that he needs. He finally finds it and lifts up the toaster in the kitchen and makes his way off towards the bathroom. He plugs in the toaster and flops it into the bathtub and begins filling it with water. Vinnie Lane comes rushing into the bathroom to make one final plea!

Vinnie Lane: "Don't go back Soldier! Stay here with me in your worst nightmare forever!"

Unknown Soldier: "In the words of one of the most infamous men in the history of the XWF. Suck my dick shit head!"

Soldier then leaps into the bathtub with the toaster plugged into the electrical socket and electrocutes himself once again ending the scene in a loud crackling of lightning and burnt skin.


Vinnie Lane: "Wake the fuck up, idiot"

The XWF owner says tossing a pail of cold water of the meth-fueled crack fiend's head waking him up abruptly.

Unknown Soldier: "Get away from me, I told you we're not friends."

Vinnie Lane: "Oh I know, I just need you to be the only person to actually show up for this shitty Leap of Faith dark match, for some reason those fans want to see you out there just like the ones that bought tickets to see Ric Flair's final match. I guess there's some type of Nostalgia for these XWF fans."

Unknown Soldier: "So we're not tag team champions and best friends and Ghost Tank isn't the Universal Champion and the whole word isn't addicted to Creed?

Vinnie Lane: "Uh, no dipshit. I despise you and Ghost Tank is now a Ted Diabiasse rip off low card sack of shit and Creed is a band that hasn't been popular in twenty years."

Unknown Soldier: "Thank SATAN! it was just MY! worst nightmare!"

Vinnie Lane: "Yeah, whatever... Just get out there and wrestle this nobody that I paid from some other fed to just show up if he feels like it."

Unknown Soldier: "Wait, so I haven't lost to that asshat Alias and all those rookie green douchebags on Anarchy and I'm not wrestling some nobody at one of the biggest pay per views of the year?"

Vinnie Lane: "No, those parts are all true! Welcome back to reality bub!"