Boom! The door from the stairwell to the garage kicked open. A pink-faced man in a black suit stormed in, flanked by dozens of agents behind him, filing in to cover the vicinity.
“COVER ALL POTENTIAL ENTRY POINTS! I WANT 100% VISIBILITY ON EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY OF THIS GARAGE! FLYNN IS LIKE A RAT, IF WE LEAVE A HALF-INCH SPACE TO FREEDOM, HE’LL CONTORT HIS RUBBER BODY AND ESCAPE!”
He marches to the center of the garage, as a pair of agents drag forward a short, terrified Korean man, holding a jug of window fluid.
“Agent Spahtz!” The agent to the left speaks up.
“We found this known affiliate to the North Korean War Criminal trying to pull his limousine out of the…” The agent checks his notes.
“Four spots that Agent Criminal had parked it across.”
The agent to the right steps forward…
“Needless to say, we impounded the limousine, to prevent Agent Flynn and Criminal’s most likely means of absconding.”
“Great work.” Spahtz nods, before staring down at Kato.
“So! Clearly, you’ve been in communication with Flynn and NK. Did they tell you to prepare for an escape? Where are they planning on taking the extradimensional fugitive?!?”
“No, no, no!” Kato cradles the jug to his chest, exasperated.
“This is all a terrible misunderstanding! My commander asked me to replace the window cleaning fluid! We were running low! I am simply on a mission of routine vehicular maintenance!”
Redd scoffs, with a dismissive flick of his wrist.
“You are part of Flynn’s escape attempt! And a traitor! Take him away!”
“...Sir, you ordered all personnel to remain in the garage until Agents Flynn and Criminal were apprehended… Should we disobey that order to follow this new order?”
Spahtz blushes.
“Ah, of course not, no! Everyone is to remain posted at the garage until…”
*KERSH* The radio at Spahtz’ chest beeps.
The same radio channel Spahtz had been tuning into to listen to NK and Flynn. The idiot North Korean had accidentally given up their plans twice. He had since been using the radio channel to track their movements.
Spahtz’s meaty fingers reflexively spasm as he lifts the speaker to his ear. He lifts a finger to the agents to urge their silence.
…
Over the speaker, we hear the sounds of troubled breathing… And metal clanking…
“Mark Flyyyyyyyyyyynn… This is so unsanitary! There is no posted certificate of inspection on these ventilation shafts!”
Kato leans forward!
“Commander! You are AUDIBLE to those pursuing y-”
Spahtz’ massive hand leans forward and clasps around the second-in-command’s mouth.
“No chance, little guy. It’s one-way communication. They can’t hear us, but we can hear them. Now…” Spahtz gestures to the agent, who gag a struggling Kato with a rag in the mouth.
Meanwhile, Spahtz waves his arms wide to signal important information is incoming. The agents all fall to a hush as the garage goes completely silent.
“Mark Flyyyyyyyynn, the indignity! To have to crawl UP through walls… like a rodent… Or a false Korean!”
He mouths to his curious subordinates…
“They’re going up?”
“...I simply do not understand, Mark Flynn! The garage is on the ground floor! Why would we climb UP ventilation shaft? The only location this route would lead would be to the roof!”
Spahtz’ eyes widen!
“Flynn’s trying to escape via the roof! The garage was a misdirection! All agents, report to the roof! On the double!”
The identical white-bred, sunglass-donning agents all sprint for the stairwell, single-file, headed straight for the roof. As Spahtz moves, he checks back over his shoulder at the agents and Kato, rag still balled-up in his gob.
“Except you two! Stay with that little… MISCREANT!” Spahtz slams the door to the stairwell behind him.
…
It is quiet.
Suddenly, the two agents seem to de-tense.
“Phew, Spahtz sure is on the warpath, huh?” The agent on Kato’s left says, reaches into his interior breast pocket… He retrieves a cigarette, which he lifts to his lips.
The agent on Kato’s right lifts out of his pocket a lighter.
“Yeah, he’s got a mad-on for Flynn. He’s been angling for a spot on the XWF-Pryce investigation ever since Davenport opened the file. But, for some reason, Davenport would rather work with a washed-up morphine-addict than Spahtz.”
The agent on the left shrugs. Kato, still gagged, and about a foot smaller than both of the agents, tries to wriggle out of their grip.
Suddenly, in unison, the two extends their heels and trip the Korean to the floor of the garage.
“Just sit tight, half-pint.” Lefty says, not losing the ash on his cigarette’d tip while performing a synchronized judo throw.
“We’ll cut ya loose after we lock up your superior.”
Kato wriggles on the ground in protest… Twisting under his captors, trying to free himself. He desperately struggles, shifting onto his back.
And as he lays back on the ground, that’s when he sees… Shimmying on the overhead lights silently…
Holding their breaths as they hand-over-hand scale across the space to over the two guards…
Mark Flynn.
And the North Korean War Criminal.
Righty laughs.
“I mean, to be fair to Davenport… Spahtz has gotten GOT by some pretty stupid tricks.”
Lefty tries to hide a smile.
“Don’t let HIM hear you say that or you’ll end up working a desk, filing dimensional anomalies alphabetically.”
As the two laugh, Flynn carefully hangs down into a pull-up over Righty… He hangs, his arms tremor slightly as he maintains tension.
He looks down, nodding at Kato. Kato nods back.
“For real, though. Some of these tricks Flynn plays… The call-forwarding trick he played on Spahtz… And in his file, it said he pretended he couldn’t hear an enemy combatant… then he threw a popcorn machine at them?!? It’s the kind of shit a cartoon character falls for.”
“Haha, GENUINELY. Could you imagine falling for one of those tricks? I’d feel like Wil E Coyote sprinting into a tunnel the Road Runner painted.”
NK rubs his hands together, preparing to replicate Flynn’s maneuver…
He grips the side of the light… And gingerly lowers himself…
But as he does, his left boot starts to slip off his foot!
Kato gasps! …But the gasp is muffled by the gag.
“Actually, Greg. Road Runner didn’t paint the tunnel. Wil E Coyote painted the tunnel, Road Runner would run through it like it was real and THEN, Wil E Coyote would run into it.”
NK, baring his teeth in dread, tries to straighten his ankle to keep the boot up…
But he accidentally kicks it off his foot entirely!
“Hey, Bill? You being PEDANTIC doesn’t make you INTERESTING. And another thi-“
CLACK! NK’s boot hits the garage floor.
Directly between Flynn and NK.
…
Lefty looks at Righty.
“Seriously? This is what I’m talking about.”
“Why would a boot drop out of the ceiling, EXCEPT to make us look up?”
“So, we can be attacked fr-”
Flynn’s grip releases! He double-stomps on Righty’s back!
Lefty goes for his gun… Just as NK’s grip slips! His back lands on Lefty with his entire weight!
Flynn dives on-top of Righty’s woozy body… dragging him forward off the ground by the collar, WHILE DRIVING HIS HEAD INTO RIGHTY’S NOSE! Righty collapses backwards unconscious!
NK kips-up from on top of his opponent’s back, into a fighting stance!
…But Lefty is already unconscious.
…
NK laughs confidently.
“Haha! This one was ill-prepared for my… Graceful-Acrobat-Full-Body-Splash-That-To-The-Untrained-Eye-May-Look-Like-A-Slip…-HOWEVER…”
Kato protests as loudly as he can with his mouth gagged. Flynn sighs as he kneels down to un-silence Kato.
“I swear, self-awareness only makes these guys dumber. Who WOULDN’T look up if a shoe fell from the sky?”
As Flynn carefully picks the rag from Kato’s mouth, the lieutenant gasps as oxygen rushes back into his mouth.
…Which was odd because he had the option to breathe through his nose that whole time.
In a flash, he climbs to his feet and salutes.
“Commander! Coach Flynn! …But, the radio transmission? Agent Spahtz overheard your travels toward the roof!”
NK grins and claps his hands twice.
“Reveal yourself, collaborator!”
Suddenly, a ventilation shaft in the corner of the room clatters to the floor. And out steps, dusting off his jacket with his still-bound hands… The United Korean Peace Officer.
Wielding a rock in one hand, and a radio in the other.
“Annyeong.”
Kato squints confused… Then, astonishedly impressed.
“Aha! I see! You had your interdimensional counterpart mimic your voice…”
“And the rock was used to replicate the sound of scampering in the shaft.”
Kato’s eyes well with pride.
“Most impressive, Commander!”
“Yes…” NK beams as he dusts his knuckles on his pocket.
“I have my moments, I suppose.”
Flynn clears his throat, hostilely.
“...And of course, Mark Flynn’s experience with radio production… I’m sure aided in some fashion!”
NK pats his tag partner on the shoulder for great assistance work. Flynn scoffs and brushes off the paltry extension of gratitude.
“Now!” NK claps.
“We have our tracker…” Pointing towards the smiling UK.
“And we have our getaway driver! Shall we make our escape?”
Kato blushes.
“Um, sir. I regret to report that Agent Spahtz ordered the… impounding of the limousine.”
Flynn grins and steps forward, reaching into his pants pocket.
“Oh… Don’t worry, Kato. We did manage to make one stop before we got here.”
Flynn fishes his hand out of his pocket… Revealing…
A set of car keys.
“Agent Spahtz’ office.”
Kato is once again taken aback.
“Brilliant! How did you two anticipate Spahtz would impound the vehicle?”
Flynn… scratches his head. NK blushes.
“We… uh… didn’t.”
“Plan A was to chuck ‘im into the nearest river.”
“For mischief.”
“BUT!” Flynn and NK both raise a finger… Before both pointing at UK, who seems delighted to be included in this conversation.
“Someone said very recently… Every setback is merely an opportunity yet to be utilized…”
“So, while we deal with the setback of being without our limousine.”
Flynn tosses the keys. Kato covers his face defensively, but catches the keys.
“You, dear Kato, have the unique opportunity to drive a Honda Fit.”
***
Wind blows furiously on the roof.
The agents coordinate with each other for the perfect swarm attack surrounding the ventilation shaft leading up the roof.
Agent Redd Spahtz barks at the men.
“KEEP EVERY EYE FOCUSED ON THAT SHAFT! THEY’RE BOUND TO COME OUT… And when they do, we’ll nail th-!”
Suddenly, several floors below. A distant sound. Spahtz’ ears perk.
It’s a car horn.
A very unique car horn.
The first five notes of ‘Oh Say Can You See’...
Spahtz’ car horn.
In a flash, Spahtz dashes to the edge of the roof.
And that moment, leaving the garage.
He sees a cherry-red compact car.
The backseat car door opens.
And it’s Flynn with a screwdriver.
As the car turns out to the road, he extends his body out the back…
Reaches around the side.
And in four deft motions…
Unscrews the license plate.
“FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNN!”
***
A black screen with white text.
A title card.
“Flynn and NK fans RN”
On a couch, side-by-side, we see Flynn and NK in t-shirts. Flynn’s says “The Optimal Path”. NK’s says “The Vision of True Korea”.
“YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!”
“THE OPTIMAL PATH, BAY-BEEEEEEEEE!”
“IT’S A SURE THING!”
“Flynn and NK are getting a briefcaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!”
Jump cut to the two outside in the driveway, passing a basketball back-and-forth.
“Did you know Mark Flynn has NEVER lost with a briefcase on the line?”
“Did YOU know NK has never lost a singles match?!? Like… Ever? In Six years?”
Jump cut to Flynn and NK sitting in the car.
“Raion Kido? More like Raion Ki-No.”
“Raion Kido is 0-3 in matches with a prize on the line!”
“Raion is out here complaining that the choke artist line is the only point his critics have!”
Flynn and NK suddenly turn towards the camera.
“IT’S THE ONLY ONE WE NEEEEEEEEEEEEED!”
Cut back to the couch.
“I’m gonna say it: Raion Kido is the Chris Paul of big matches.”
“Raion Kido is the John Starks of the XWF.”
“For the record, If you don’t know basketball, these are the cruelest things anyone has ever said about anyone.”
Cut back to the driveway.
“Raion Kido acts like his destiny is to win.”
“Then, why doesn’t he wiiiiiiiiiiiiin?”
“Mark Flynn beat Peter Vaughn, the last Universal champion.”
“Then, Flynn and NK beat Char-Char and Bobby, the current number one contender AND a former Uni champ.”
Cut to the tag champs walking down the street.
“Go ahead, bring up Thad Duke.”
“BRING UP THADDEUS DUKE. RAION’S SINGLE BIG-MATCH WIN.”
“Flynn drew with Thad when Thad was campaigning for a Hall of Legends spot.”
“Raion Kido barely beat Thaddeus Duke while he was mentally planning his XWF retirement party.”
“Y’know who else talked about how great he’d EVENTUALLY be in the XWF? Future Legend Jordi.”
“Search his name on the site. Remind us how that turned out.”
Cut to Flynn and NK on the phone, in separate panels, implying they’re talking long-distance.
“Angelica Vaughn?”
“First off, Vaughnemous isn’t even a word.”
“What the fuck even is Vaughnemous?”
“The -ous suffix means abounding. So… Vaughnemous means ‘full of Vaughn’.”
“Makes sense. If you listen to her shit vlogs, she’s definitely full of herself.”
“She sometimes talks in hashtags.”
“And she’s gonna leave the ring in a bodybag.”
“If Angie Vaughn had that killer instinct to win big matches…”
“She probably would have actually showed up against Corey Smith.”
“You think Angie can beat Flynn and NK?”
“Check her last promo. She can’t even tell which one of us is insulting her!”
“Do we even know for sure Angelica Vaughn is going to show up to Leap of Faith?”
“Forget win-loss record. Angie Vaughn has an 0-and-1 ATTENDANCE record at Pay Per Views.”
Cut to Flynn shooting jumpers on a basketball court. NK is under the basket catching the ball and passing it back out to Flynn.
“Vita Valenteen? She’s on a two-match losing streak on Warfare.”
Shot. Net.
“Valenteen can’t even WIN if the matches aren’t on Anarchy!”
“Suspicious. Maybe they should retry that case of hers? Big Money Oswald might have a point about match-rigging…”
Shot. Net.
“If Vita has the trial on Warfare, she’d probably lose there too.”
Shot…
“With or without Christopher K. Clinton.”
Flynn’s foot slips. Brick.
He eyes NK angrily. NK smiles and shrugs.
Cut to NK and Flynn scrolling on the computer.
“The whole field is awful. Half of them have lost to Bobby within the last MONTH!”
“Bobby Bourbon. Try it. Try just saying ‘Bobby Bourbon will win’.”
“NK has his number!”
“If Bobby Bourbon could beat the champions, he’d have done it by now.”
“0-and-5 versus NK since 2016. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Three losses with three different tag partners. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Bobby Bourbon lost with TK, Barney Green AND Charlie Nickles…”
“And now, he thinks he’s gonna get the job done with fuckin’ Marf?”
“Marf Swaysons couldn’t even beat the Bastards with his old tag partner.”
“And back then, they were ONE of TWO tag-teams in the division!”
“Marf didn’t even fuckin’ SHOW-UP for the first week.”
“Bobby Bourbon, you really like Marf Swaysons is gonna be the difference-maker?”
“You’d be better off bringing fuckin’ JIM JIMSON!”
NK and Flynn laugh.
Cut to NK and Flynn back on the couch.
“Mark Flynn has won THREE DIFFERENT BRIEFCASES! The most briefcases of ANY superstar in XWF History!”
“NK has been holding onto his title shot since he won it at Leap of Faith of last year! It’s fucking destiny!”
“It’s the will of the Glorious Leader made manifest!”
“It’s the OPTIMAL FUCKING PATH!”
Flynn and NK bump chests.
“We’re getting the Uni Title, baby!”
“Can Flynn and NK be co-champions?”
“Who would beat them? Comrade Alias?”
“Go ahead, try saying Alias.”
“Cuz Flynn lost to Alias… IN AN EXHIBITION MATCH.”
“When the title’s on-the-line? Flynn doesn’t lose.”
“Mark Flynn is MISTER TITLE MATCH.”
Cut to Flynn and NK with pens, checking boxes in the air.
“When the belts were on-the-line versus the Bastards?”
“Got ‘im.”
“When the belts were on-the-line versus APEX?”
“Got ‘im.”
“When the X-Treme title was on-the-line versus Eli James IV, the #5 wrestler of all-time?”
“Got ‘im.”
“When Flynn had a ladder match with Tristan Slater with the Euro title on-the-line? When Slater was 22-and-0?”
“Fuckin. GOT ‘IM.”
“It’s been a whole cycle and the field is so dumb, they’re still pretending they’re taking on just Mark Flynn.”
“If you were? You’d STILL be fucked.”
“But, you’re taking on…”
Suddenly, Flynn and NK rip off their shirts, revealing their regular outfts. They face each other.
“THE.”
“GREATEST.”
“TAG-TEAM.”
“IN.”
“WRESTLING.”
“HISTORY.”
The tag-champs cackle nefariously as they bump fists.
“Theo Pryce. Your gambit…”
“Is about to backfire.”
“Your desperate effort to slow down the most dominant team in the history of WRESTLING ITSELF.”
“Was doomed the moment we decided that we would win it together.”
“Good try, pretending that this WASN’T a tag-team test.”
“After you booked Bobby Bourbon and Marf of the Bastards…”
“Angelica Vaughn and Vita Valenteen of Sarah Lacklan’s Family First…”
“And Raion Kido and the looming shadow of disappointment that follows him every match.”
“If we were as stupid as you thought we are… Maybe we would have fallen for it and Mark Flynn would have showed up alone.”
“But you’re dealing with the FUTURE OF THE XWF.”
“And despite Comrade Alias’ best-efforts…”
“No one can stop the future.”
“Especially when that future is coming in the form…”
The tag team champions raise their arms and cross them in unity.
“Of Mark Flynn.”
“And The North Korean War Criminal.”
We cut to a couch where Kato is clutching a pillow to his chest, tears in his eyes.
He’s wearing a Future Legend Jordi t-shirt.
“IT’S BEEN TEN YEARS…”
Kato wipes the tears bubbling at the corners of his eyes.
“WHEN?!? WHEN WILL THE FUTURE BE NOW?!?”