3A: The Evil Within




It was a strange thing to look at oneself in the mirror and realise just how misguided you were. It had been weeks since I gazed upon my own horrid reflection. To say it still haunted me would be a bit of an overstatement, but it stuck with me nonetheless. It was more akin to the red splotch of skin left over after a scab had all but healed. There was no blood. There was no itch. At night, I still slept as dreamless as I ever did.

But there it was. Still present. Still visible. Not yet healed completely…

And when I asked Unknown Soldier to look, it was just as I expected it to be.

He had returned.

To Otherworld.

To my world.

"Hail ALIAS," Soldier greeted me, expressionless as he ever was underneath that painted face.

It was almost miraculous that he was ever able to convince those daft Exiles that he was one of them. But he did, nonetheless. Even got a bit of action on the side in the process. Good for him! Bad for Ruby. I had never expected that to happen when I placed him in the cell. Not that it caused any issues when push came to shove. I think he relished being treated like a diseased degenerate while down there, and that just got his twisted mind churning. The plan was supposed to just 'escape' with Ruby and lead us to whatever resistance forces we could find. And then… when He came - as I knew He would - Soldier was supposed to set the scene for those resistance members to bring Him to me.

On that front, mission a-fucking-ccomplished.

They never even suspected who it really was that killed Corey Smith and Mark Flynn. Unknown Soldier went above and beyond the call of duty. I'd trust him with your life.

"You've found the location?" I asked, leaning forward on my throne. It was made of an inverted gold, distorted like it was a negative of itself and matched to the twisted version of the Universal Championship that was still sitting on my mantle. Right over the severed fucking heads of The Brand and The original Engineer. Eighteen years, suck on that, cunts.

"I have," Soldier replied. "The Lesser You stuck to the trees after escaping Dr. Kaye's compound. He was good. Light-footed and discreet."

"He does like the shadows…" I reflected.

"The others weren't as skilled," he continued. "Especially the dimwit. Dr. Kaye did a pretty good number on him."

Oh Marf. My poor, sweet Marf. What fun we could have had, if only you hadn't always chosen the wrong side…

"How did Ned do?" It was the first time I had sent Ned Kaye into one of these operations. He was invaluable in terms of research and development. Soldier himself wouldn't be half the man he is were it not for Ned's knowledge, complete lack of ethics, and the forcible removal of whatever remained of 'The Notorious One'.


"He kept the target busy when he needed to, and made himself scarce when he was supposed to." Soldier almost seemed proud. "He'll need more than a chainsaw next time round, however. The Lesser You had only just returned. Now that he's had a chance to get his bearings again here, he'll be more inclined to throw down. Especially after last time."

Ruby wasn't the only casualty when my previous self and I last met. The North Korean War Criminal also perished. I had kind of wondered if he'd just pop up again like nothing had happened. So far, however, there was no sign of him. I guess we finally found what would do him in, didn't we?

In the distance, something ROOOAAAARED!!!

My one real friend.

"Should we go and see what the good doctor has been cooking up then?" I offered, rising from the throne. "I believe the other candidates should be finished with their 'treatments' by now."

Unknown Soldier sniggered. He got the joke! Hooray! Eighteen years ago I wished the same could be said about a certain someone else. The other candidates might not get it either, but they didn't need to. They were to be good little soldiers and do what they were told. If they knew what was good for them…

I joined Soldier at the bottom of the blood-coloured, marble steps that circled the throne’s dais. I really didn't need a throne. I'm not a king or a God. I'm their fucking antithesis. I just… thought it was kind of fun. The Universe offered and so I accepted.

Following said Universe’s voice, I led Soldier towards the nearest set of stairs descending downwards into the Tower's innards. It groaned as my foot fell upon it for the first time, but I ignored the whinging and kept on keeping on.

It was an impossibly long way down. The staircase appeared to keep going, beyond where we could physically see its end. Such was the way of the Tower. Its levels would vary on a whim, but always attuned to the depravity of the particular individual. It would show them their most trying moments. Whose then, was this descent?

"What else did you see, Soldy?" I asked of my footsoldier, breaking the eerie silence. "I take it that our suspicions were confirmed? Our friend went to see The Oracle?"

"He led us right to her," Soldier confirmed.

"Dolly?" I had suspected as much since I first heard mention of an Oracle. From the description of what she could do, it just made sense. Especially after she left The Exiles.

And came to me.

That was years ago, though/

"Dolly," Soldier repeated, confirming my thoughts.. It was her, all right. Interesting…

"Who else?" I asked.

"The nitwit," he said, off-handedly. We had already established that Marf was there. "And the Nickles siblings. Charlie's kids. They shouldn't be an issue though. They're only human."

I laughed. The mocking, hyena-like sound echoed around whatever level of hell we were on.

"No," I told him, trying to contain myself. "No, they're not."

"Sub-human then," Soldier corrected. I let that be the case. "Gator's still alive too, apparently. Zombified, but alive. And just a head."

"Wow, I wonder where that idea came from?" The remark went over Soldier's head completely. A wall to break on another day, perhaps.

"The Exiles are there too," he moved on. "Or what's left of them. You should have let us finish them off like we did with Ruby and the Korean."

"They still have a part to play," I said. "Who's with them? Has The Witness crawled out of his hole?"

"No," Soldier said. That was disappointing, but I had a suspicion I would be able to lure that fucker out soon enough. "The Duke kid is there. They've drawn Vita in as well, which is going to be fun to revisit after twisting the head off her bestie…"

He's so casual about it all! It's delicious!

"Lance too." He looked at me as if that would warrant some sort of a reaction. My 'BEST FRIEND' had lived here in the Tower for almost the entirety of my reign. But I knew what Soldier didn't. And what Lance didn't either…

I waved it off, dismissing it as if it were no more important than Marf being there.

"The girl?" I asked, cutting straight to the heart of the matter.

Paritegi.

The Daughter of ALIAS.

She was all grown up, and boy had I raised her right! No more a feared name existed in the lands of my world than the one she had taken thanks to her years alongside a now dead substitute daddy.


She was the North Korean War Queen. And I was so proud of her!

"There," Soldier nodded. "Both of them."

Half-way down a staircase that didn't seem to have an end (figure that one out!), I stopped.

I knew She was coming, just as I knew Her version of me was as well. But to know this is the time that they're both here together?

I licked my lips in anticipation.

We stepped off the staircase, because of course we were at the end.

Stepping over a broken mug, I turned to one of my many worker bees.

"Clean that shit up, Robyn." I pointed down to the shattered remains. The former Latina Submission Machina raced in behind Unknown Soldier and I and started picking up the shares with her bare hands.

Without looking back, I swept across the otherwise empty floor of the Tower and picked up a brisk pace as I aimed for another staircase going down. This one seemed normal enough, but at first glance, so did the last one.

"Before, I was just fixing for a scrap just for the fun of it…" I gave Soldier that trademark crooked smile of mine. "…But now? One way or another, that girl is coming home to daddy."

The top step creaked under my foot.

"Oh Ne-eeed!" I sung out. The rest of the staircase was as vanilla as vanilla can be. We trotted on down it and a wrought iron door awaited us at the bottom. I kicked it open for dramatic effect. Unknown Soldier stoically followed behind me.

"Hail ALIAS," Ned said, as soon as I entered the room.

"How are our little lambs doing?" I tried not to giggle. I knew what I meant there.

"See for yourself," he said, and gestured to the shadows. Just my kind of reveal!

The pitter patter of delicate footsteps dashed from side to side. And then, tiptoeing from the darkness, a figure emerged. Maggots dug their way through gory holes of what used to be the person's eyes, and around their neck was a rotted pendant on a chain made of teeth.

It was an ear. Black and wilted.

Lance's.

And this used to be Jenny Myst.

"Soldier, if you may?" Ned said. He loaded a small handgun and offered it to my Demon-Dicked Defiler. Never one to miss an opportunity to maybe kill someone, Soldier took the gun with haste. He pointed it right at Jenny Myst, and shot!

Myst spun to the side, and I heard the bullet lodge into the wall behind her.

"I SEEEEEEE YOU!" she hissed, tapping her ears rather than her eyes. A wild cackle involuntarily forced its way from her diaphragm.

Soldier seemed happy enough (but also a little disappointed), and passed the gun back to Ned. Ned refused it.

He clapped.

Once.

Then twice.

A signal. One that was quickly responded to.

Shuffling out from obscurity, a mangled mass of what used to be humanity staggered towards me. Three heads hung from the one body, but only two seemed alive.

John Black.

Reggie Estrada.

And a very dead-looking Tommy Wish.

Each with sharpened teeth and blackened eyes. They gnashed around and tried their best to put on a show. I was… underwhelmed.

Ned picked up on this, and gave Soldier an expectant look. He raised the weapon again and squeezed the trigger. The bullet seared towards Franken-T.H.U.G. and lodged right into his abdomen.

His body bent. And folded. The torso of the creature wrapped like rubber around the bullet and with a gross FWWWPP, it popped back into place and the bullet fell onto the floor.

"Impressive," I said. My mind was sufficiently changed. "And our guest of honour?"

Ned simply pointed up.

I followed his finger.

There above us, bound and blindfolded, was Charlie Nickles.

Ned flicked a switch and Charlie fell unceremoniously to the ground. He landed with a loud THUD that seemed like it shook the Earth, but that was probably my beautifully-pigmented, horned friend elsewhere in the Tower.

"Hey buddy," I said, keeping my voice sweet as I bent down towards him. The mechanical breast implants Ned had given him a while back had since been removed, and a blood-soaked bandage was wrapped around his chest.

I jumped up and planted my foot right in that fucking bullseye.

He coughed, he splattered, and he spewed blood out onto the ground.

But he would survive. For now.

"Let's play, Chuckleberry," I snorted. "I have a job for you."

~~~

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3B: Becoming He

“Well tickle my taint and colour me shocked. Charlie Nickles has gone and sewn his shithole up nice and tight. Ain’t nothing leaking out of that sewage pipe!

Just like last time.

Oh boy, now I get to say it again. Are you ready, kids?

Charlie Nickles.

Same as he ever was.

It really doesn’t bode well for this being any different for the poor piece of shit, does it? Jesus ball-dropping Christ, Charles, way to prove me right in every single way. See, the crux of how I addressed you back in March was that what you had to offer, the ‘usual’ Charlie Nickles schtick, was not e-fucking-nough to do the job against me. And I was right. Like… super right. We’re talking ‘ALIAS knew Thaddeus Duke was an untrustworthy bitch from the moment he first saw him’ levels of right. Because Charlie Nickles said a bunch of words and then… nothing happened. Charlie Nickles promised a whole lot of things and then… nothing happened. Charlie Nickles… well… did as Charlie Nickles does. He failed against his betters. We’ve been through this, right, Chuck? How I absolutely do believe that I’m your better? Kinda hard to argue against, no? Oh, but I’m sure you’ll try. Because that’s all you can do, man! You wake up in the morning, take a shit, ‘forget’ to wash your hands, wear the same fucking clothes you wore the day before - no judgement there, just flip the underwear inside out! - step out into the sun, drive yourself to whatever garden of fucking nothing that you’ve been trying to encourage to bloom, and then…

You get fucking railroaded by your betters.

That’s it, man. That’s your fucking life, and that’s your fucking gameplan. You did it last time, and here, you’re doing it again. Sure you barked a lot and sent a whole lot of bullshit out into the world, but that’s where it ended. That’s where it’s always going to fucking end for you. I bet you thought it was such a good fucking burn to pull up those quotes from Raion Kido, Centurion, and Reggie Estrada, didn’t ya? You sure showed me! If only you hadn’t fucked it all up by saying how that’s not the game you play. That moment of confusion is exactly your problem. It shows everyone that even if you actually spent time thinking how to come at me in a way that didn’t wind up with you being pantsed on an even grander scale, when it came time to actually fucking executing the plan that you had coked up… you couldn’t keep your head on straight.

And yes, friends, I meant to say ‘coked’ up.

But it’s okay, my guy! You might not know your gameplan, but that’s what you’ve got your good buddy Space Jesus for! To… heh… Do. Your. Job. For. You.

Your game plan is to drop your nuts, Charlie.

As it was last time.

As it was in March last year.

Simple as that.

And as for me? I can spell my gameplan out just as easily. I said it as much the first time up to bat. Those people like Raion, Andy, and Reggie? I’m shattering their false image of you. And I’m doing it by being as obtuse as possible, which is just utterly delightful for me. I’m using the lowest, basest lines; calling you inbred, obese, the son of a whore, and so on, all to really make sure that I’m speaking in a language that you actually understand! And then, I’m giving you in-road after in-road, and pointing them out along the way! I’m fucking helping you out here! Because I’m showing you AND them that none of it fucking matters when it comes to me. I am showing everyone that! I’m showing them that when it comes to the bond between me and The Universe, nothing you can do matters. You don’t matter. You’ve heard people say the opposite? Whoopdie-fucking-do. They can bring their grievances my way too and they’ll get the same fucking lesson first hand. Because what’s more true, boo? Anything that Centurion has said? Anything that Raion Kido has? Anything that Reggie goddamn Estrada has?

Or what I have?

Every single time you and I have played this game.

I’m the blemish on your year, cunt. And you can trip over your own feet around whether or not you play the law school game. It doesn’t fucking matter. Nothing you can say or do will EVER be enough to will yourself to go beyond the realms of what your pitiful fucking brain can comprehend and leave a scar on who I am at the core. I’M THE FUCKING UNIVERSE iTSELF! Grander in scale than you can imagine. And at the same time… I’m that worm in your colon making you shit yourself anytime I come at you. Oh yeah, baby, don’t forget how close I was standing to you after you failed embarrassingly to take the Tag Team Championship from Mark and NK. I saw the hairs on your neck pricked up. I saw the little tremble in your knees. Like a fucking shark to blood, I smelled your fear. It wasn’t fear of what I’ll do to you when we lock horns, but fear of what happens to your reputation when you promise so much and deliver so little. Again.

Charlie… I am the biggest thing, and the smallest. And everything between. An impossible mountain. A vague, fleeting thought. Consistently inconsistent. Since day fucking one. And even if I’m wrong, I’m right about you.

When I say I am everything, I mean I am everything.

You’re not the Television Champion, but yet… I am still taking Goldi from you. It’s a contradiction. But one that you understand.

Here’s another that you might not:

You lambasted me for ‘blabbering’ about Demos when he hadn’t been around in almost a year. And yet… Demos is more recent than the Heavymetalweight incident. A contradiction, resolved only by accepting or rejecting both a fair fucking game. So Charlie… any more of your own arguments you want to tear to shreds?

How about this one?

You asked why I cared so much about beating Bobby Bourbon. And yet… I didn’t. You did, when you said that I had never set my sights on the Bastards.

Are you getting the picture?

Because in one breath you tell me that you’ve been dogging me for weeks, and yet just a couple of weeks ago you were saying that I was the one pursuing you.

You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.

And without that knowledge, man, you’re incapable of change. Shit, you’re incapable of straightening your own fucking brain out long enough to have a fucking chance at beating me. See… I never said that I was unbeatable. You made that up, or just took it from someone else and implied that it was me.

But I’m saying it now.

You. Cannot. Stop. Me.

Not now, not fucking ever.

No matter how many openings I try to leave for you.

I've said a lot of shit on that front, just to get my jollies here, boo. I've gone in on you ripping off other people's shit. Poorly, I might add.

About your imitation, not the way I burned all your fucking dreams up.

Then, after making such a fuss, the next time I've spoken I've gone and said that I do the exact same thing! Not only that, but I've claimed that I don't even need to cite my shit, despite the fact that I said that you did need to! It's like it's one rule for me, and another for you, right?

Yep, that’s exactly what it is

You fucking know why! Every motherfucker watching knows why! I control how all this ends up! I run this fucking show! I've been laying the groundwork here, Charlie. Not for some big 'gotcha', but just to make it crystal clear how all of this goes. And you? Well… you've helped the cause. Because you're the dumbfuck who went and stuck my GIANT dick in your mouth and started trying to act like you’re somebody that you’re not. You can’t play my game. ‘Law school?’ Nah, when we’re throwing hands this is gym class, and you can’t get your fat fucking ass up the rope.

Heh… you’re not even that fat by the standards of what we do here. You’ve got what, thirty pounds on me? A few extra feet too, so it’s not that big of a deal.

BUT I STILL STAND HERE CALLING YOU A ‘FAT FUCK’!

What the fuck are you going to do about it? Try to turn the math back on me? Bitch, I JUST DID YOUR JOB FOR YOU. Aaaaaaa-gain.

You should probably thank me for that one, given I’m not convinced that you even know how to count given your mother and father were probably related..

Woof. Looks like we’re back at it, folks. Fat jokes, dick jokes, inbreeding too. What’d I miss? Something-something-prostitution? Did I hit all the classics?

Hey, ask your mother if she’s got a light, then maybe I can help her, eh?

Can’t you see, Charlie? I'm not even taking you fucking seriously enough to approach this like a damn adult. Because I don't fucking need to. It’s not just your own gameplan that you haven’t changed, but others too. When you do open that garbage chute, you’re doing the same fucking thing that they’ve done against me. And the saddest part is, you actually let me drag you down that path! YOU LEARNED NOTHING! You’re running around out there in the world trying to find some hidden fucking meaning in your own miserable existence. Just like last time. You did your best at playing lawyer then too, despite your now profession of the opposite, and to top it all off, you tried to lay a fucking trap about winning the Heavy-goddamn-metalweight championship (what a brag!) from me. Not even in an actual, televised match!

So much for being a 'TV God'.

Do you wanna know why I didn't bother to bring it up until you did last time? Of course you do! You asked it in our little to-and-fro on the day-of!

I could say that it was because the Heavymetalweight Championship tends not to have any bearing ever on what happens in a match - you and I being the perfect example there. But that’s not the truth. The truth, Charlie?

It's because I didn't fucking need to.

Are you noticing the trend here?

I don’t need to do a damn thing aside from show up and be me. I don’t even need to take YOU seriously to generate a reason to keep on fighting the way I always do. Your gameplan is fucked, but mine comes from within me. And it will not waver.

'But oh, Big Daddy A, what about the Heavymetalweight Championship?'

Yeah, what the fuck about it?

If a sneak attack is the best you're fucking bringing then boy, it’s just more evidence for the jury, isn’t it? Still the same Charlie Nickles.

Here’s what I will do differently for you, though, Charlie. Just ‘cause I’ve gotta make my own challenges since you can’t fucking offer one. Where I've gone back and forth with someone like Lou, trying to literally gift him the book on how to beat me. I'm gonna rip that motherfucker up and burn the pages in my fucking fire here! I'm gonna KEEP putting all the goofy shit out on display and making a mockery of it all! I'm gonna KEEP calling you fat, KEEP calling you inbred, KEEP calling your mama a whore, and so on and so on. If it sounded silly, then it probably was, and it’s going to KEEP happening. The sooner you get that, the sooner you might beapproaching the fucking point!

And with the blade that point belongs to, I'm then gonna start slicing and dicing the idea that anyone catching me out on any sort of inconsistency is in ANY way going to impact upon the end fucking result!

It doesn't work that with me.

But you’ll still try. Oh lord, you’ll still try. And you’ll still make yourself look like an idiot in the process. You couldn't fucking cut it then, and you still can't fucking cut it now. Because you are not driven by what I am. You're not! You cannot even begin to come close to living for the same fucking reasons I do. You can’t come close to relating to why I fight! Why I bleed! Why I'd be willing to fucking die! Have you got that in you, you dumb sonofabitch? Not in a 'would you be willing to do it?' kind of way but in a 'just how the fuck do you think you're gonna pull it off?'

You. Can't.

How many times do you have to hear it before you get the fucking message?

Fuck you, Charlie Nickles.

FUCK YOU, CHARLIE NICKLES!

Fuck you for thinking that your paltry fucking attempts at even sniffing my goddamn jockstrap would EVER get you anywhere near the fucking Universe! This is mine! Do you goddamn hear me? MINE! And I'm not ever letting it go! Not to an unwashed asshole like you. Shit, not to anybody! I meant what I said last time, Chuck! Bring all the Bastards with you and I'll still put all of you bitches down! Dig up anyone else you can while you’re at it. Roll out those old BOBbies! Bring the T.H.U.Gs! Who the fuck else was there? BRING 'EM ALL! Bring Chris Page along, that useless fucking twat! Bring his whole fucking harem! Reach across the goddman aisle and FIND me something that might be a half a fucking challenge! BECAUSE YOU ALONE ARE NOT ENOUGH! You want to talk about that Heavymetalweight shit? Fuck it! Bring Steve Sayors along and let's see how it fucking ends up! Hell, bring me that Lion bitch! Bring me the whole fucking Leap of Faith match that he’s in! Bring me Theo! Bring me Vinnie! Go and find whatever hole I buried fucking Lou in and BRING HIM TO ME! BRING ME COREY SMITH!!! I WON'T JUST PUT DOWN ANYONE WHO COMES MY WAY, I'LL PUT DOWN THEM ALL AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME!!!

NONE OF YOU ARE ENOUGH!

DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?!?!?!

NONE OF YOU!!!!!

…

…

…

Breathe, baby.

Settle your man tits down. I can see you salivating over there. You're half a second away from whipping that forked fucking pecker out and spitting on the rancid meat before you begin to mutilate yourself. If you think for one fucking second that you, of all people, has gotten under my skin, just ‘cause of a couple of curse words and a raised voice, then you’re going to be sadly mistaken. No matter who you think you've run off previously, you need to understand that I am not them.

Come on, cunt. You should know who I am by now.

I am ALIAS.

I am the be all and end all.

And if I'm worked up about anything, it's how fucking disappointing this all is. How disappointing you are. Yeah, I cuss. I scream. I shout. I fucking fight. That's what I fucking do. And since I was reborn at this very event, all I do is fucking win. You wanted to celebrate your 'anniversary' after no longer being an embarrassing sack of shit.

When did that stop?

Well sadly, yet again, the Charlie Nickles show is going to be overshadowed by a bigger event.

Me.

I am the event. The goddamn Omega Event! I am the destruction. I am the rebirth. Spit whatever inferno you think your alternative facts are, Kellyanne. I am the fire that snuffed the flame. And Leap of Faith is a fucking holy day.

Hail ALIAS!

I want to celebrate it with a feast.

Pity all I have is you.

Eat Charlie Nickles?

Nah. You’re not even getting that.

You may be a fat fuck, but you ain’t even big enough to be a snack.”

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3C: The Greater Good



“So… are we going to talk about Marf?” Tyler Nickles asked, as the last of the visiting group took a pew at a cold, round, stone table carved out of the very ground itself. It seemed to be supported by one solitary pillar in its centre, joining the ground to the surface above like an ancient stalagnate.

Here, under the earth, a sprawling network of interconnected caves joined together to create a secret community. It wasn’t heavily populated. Fewer people seemed to make their home here than ALIAS had seen in The Exiles’ last compound, even after The Bastards’ devastating attack on their previous one. Still, there seemed enough here to keep the engine running so-to-speak. Everybody appeared fed and looked after. He had noticed a makeshift hydroponic farm on their way to this hall, behind which he had seen flashes of gently flowing blackwater. A diversion of the river they had crossed to get here, he assumed, but he had no way of knowing whether or not it was natural or man-made.

“Me?” Marf pointed to himself. “I’m part of the group.”

“Yeah, well, how’d you know these other assholes were here?” Tyler pressed further. He gestured vaguely to the side of the table that The Exiles, Lance, Frankie Duke, Vita Valenteen, and ALIAS’s disguised daughter, the North Korean War Queen, had taken up position on.

“I saw them,” Marf replied simply. Tyler scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Were you awake or asleep?” ALIAS chimed in. He figured if Marf hadn’t been put to sleep like the rest had, he might know a little more about what was going on. The hard part would be trying to get it out of him. The years hadn’t been kind to ALIAS’s repeating foe, and he seemed to lack what little grey matter he had to begin with. Somewhere in there, however, there might be somethin–

“He was asleep,” a translucent voice said from a passageway to one side of the cavern. The group had come through this same narrow slit in the wall, at the direction of the decapitated head of Gator. It seemed to be a natural opening between chambers at first, but since people had moved in, it had been chipped away at, to make traversal easier.

With a long, white robe skimming the bumps and crags of the floor behind her, Dolly Waters stepped into the hall.

The Oracle.

And apparently the one who put them all to sleep.

“You all were,” she continued, while approaching the table. She chose an empty seat a couple of spaces to ALIAS’s right, with Otherworld’s Lance next to her. At least from this angle, ALIAS couldn’t see the missing ear on Lance’s own right side.

He knew that injury wasn’t there last time! That was a development in his own world. How could it change like that here?

His attention was diverted as the one stool between he and Dolly - similarly built out of the ground, just like the table - was soon occupied as well.

The girl climbed up into place.

Paritegi. The Daughter of ALIAS.

This ALIAS, not the tyrannical Otherworld equivalent.

She winked at Space Jesus to let him know that she was all right. It was another knowing sign, from someone so young. That was standard fare for her, by now. He had learned as much over the course of her being his ward. But then, she was still just a child. High up off the ground like this, she delighted in swinging her legs back and forward through the oddly comfortable air. It was an odd juxtaposition.

“To see our futures?” the World-Eater asked. That’s what Dolly had said after they had all awoken from their induced slumbers.

“Kinda…” she replied. Her face suggested there was more to the story.

“How did you put us out?” ALIAS asked. That had been gnawing at him.

“It’s uh… it’s kinda my superpower…” she said. It didn’t explain much overtly, but every person at the table - even Marf - seemed to understand what it implied. Every powered individual they had met so far - namely Unknown Soldier and Ruby - had gotten their powers one way: forced experimentation.

By the “Nefarious Scientist” Ned Kaye.

“My aunt’s a superhero,” Frankie Duke joked, grinning stupidly. It was just the right amount of levity to bring a smile to The Oracle’s face and ease whatever demons the memory raised for her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come back to you,” she said, sharing a private moment with the son of her dear friend. “After your dad…”

“I know,” Frankie reassured her. “Besides, I still had Corey. And even Flynn, when he wasn’t being a giant douche.”

“Speaking of giant douches…” Tyler cut in. He looked pointedly in Dolly’s direction. “Marf was asleep? And yet somehow knew that these pussies were going to be here? How?”

“I don’t just make you fall asleep,” she said to the whole group, not just Tyler. “I make you dream of the future. Marf, apparently, only dreamed of what was imminent. That… hasn’t happened before.”

“His brain is kind of fried…” Emily Nickles, Tyler’s sister, said, from the seat right next to her brother.

“That’ll probably do it,” Dolly acknowledged. She let her gaze shift to the broken shell of a man that Marf had become. “I’m sorry, buddy.”

“Am I still part of the group?” Marf wondered aloud.

“Of course,” she smiled. Zooming out again, she cast an eye across the whole group once more. “I can only assume yer all here for the same reason. You wanna stop the ‘big bad’. You wanna stop Him.”

She thumbed in ALIAS’s direction, but kept going before he could take offence.

“Our version of Him, anyway.”

“And we do that by…” Lance asked. Having been on the other side for years, he had a lot of knowledge about The High Lord counterpart of ALIAS. He knew things that none of the others could, not even the North Korean War Queen. Not even ALIAS himself. And yet… the most telling thing was probably the fact that nothing he had tried so far had worked. Nothing seemed to stop Him.

It might have been better to say that Lance knew more about what wouldn’t work than what would.

“Sharing,” Dolly told him. She felt a bit like an elementary teacher in that moment.

“Sharing our dreams?” Frankie sought to confirm.

“Each of you saw the future,” she said. “Or your own sliver of it, anyway. Whatever information we can get will be helpful. Do you wanna start, Frankie?’

Frankie thought on it for a moment. Of all the people at the table, he was perhaps the most sensitive, and he was keenly aware of that. Even compared to this version of Lance. He was still a damn good shot with a rifle, and perfectly capable of doing what was needed when the chips were down. But this seemed… vulnerable.

“We saw our dad,” Emily said, before Frankie could even come to our decision.

“We?” ALIAS asked. The entire group’s eyes flicked between the two siblings.

“We–” Tyler nudged her before she could finish. She snapped her head in his direction and stared him into retreat.

Instead of trying to stop her, Tyler helped explain.

“We dream the same,” he said. “Neither of us know why, we just always have. Since as early as we can remember.”

ALIAS, Dolly, and even the younger Paritegi, all seemed to nod as if they understood so much more about the siblings just from hearing that.

“And you dreamed of yer dad?” Dolly hadn’t thought about Charlie Nickles in a while. He was as much a bastard as she had ever met, but she had still kind of liked the guy. She wondered if that’s why she received the ability that she did. Because she tended to be able to find the good in almost anybody. Here at the table, both Marf and ALIAS were testaments to that in their own right.

“He was–” Tyler began.

“–in pain,” Emily finished.

“Bloodied.”

“Battered.”

“Beaten.”

“Broken.”

“What happened?” ALIAS asked. “Did you see who did it?”

Tyler and Emily Nickles stared directly in the Bastard-Tamer’s direction, and spoke in unison.

“It was you.”

A lull fell over the round table while ALIAS struggled with what they had said. Dolly Waters, The Oracle, had told them that their dreams would see the future. But to Tyler and Emily, at this age, Space Jesus leaving Charlie Nickles a bloodied, battered, beaten, broken mess would have been the past.

“The other you.” Lance had seen the gears turning in his one-time BEST FRIEND’s mind.

“I thought you guys had The Bastards under lock and key?” ALIAS looked to the North Korean War Queen, whose arrival on the battlefront last time he was in this world had beaten back The Bastards almost single-handedly whilst himself, Ruby, and Unknown Soldier were otherwise occupied chasing down Vita.

She sat silently, not having uttered a word since awakening.

“Charlie broke free,” Frankie answered in the War Queen’s place. “We don’t know how.”

“The others are still locked away,” Vita added. It was useful information, but without it being explicitly said, the whole group seemed to understand what the Nickles’s dream meant.

Somehow, someway, Charlie NIckles was a captive of The High Lord.

As much as they sometimes seemed to hate their father, maybe Tyler and Emily had a motive to join this fight after all.

“I saw my dad too,” Frankie said. He turned to face the Nickles siblings, searching for some sort of connection. “I don’t know how. He… he’s dead. Dolly…!”

He swung back to where The Oracle sat.

“He is dead, right?” She was there, he thought. It prompted her disappearance. If something else had happened…

“Yes,” she said. Her head drooped a little. She had seen Thaddeus Duke die with her own eyes. The High Lord ripped his head from his shoulders with his bare hands. There was no way he could have survived it!

“Then how did I see him if that was supposed to be my future?”

“I… I don’t know.” There was a puzzle here that she wasn’t seeing the solution to.

“I saw myself,” Vita offered, hoping to offer some revelation. ALIAS noted that while she hadn’t been silent, but she had still been a lot more withdrawn than previously. “I mean… I saw my real self. I was… cured.”

The rest of The Exiles seemed to understand the gravity of this statement far better than the outsiders did. Lance, seated next to Vita, put a hand almost as pale as hers onto her shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. On the other side of the table, Marf looked like he was about to remind everyone that he was part of the group. Even he could feel the mood in the hall shift, and he said it to himself instead. Inside his head.

As had become the norm, Vita looked to Dolly for answers.

“These futures… are they definitely going to happen? Or are they just one possibility?” Dolly could see the hope in the supernaturally young vampire’s eyes.

“Somewhere in between.” She didn’t want to let Vita down, but she also didn’t want to inspire any sort of false hope. “As best I can tell, it can change. But unless we do something different, it won’t.”

“Then why would I get involved with this war any further?!” Vita’s hands dropped onto the table with a loud clap. “If keeping things the way they are leads me to be cured, then why wouldn’t I just keep them this way?”

“Because that’s not what she said,” ALIAS said. Vita was still worked up, so the Wolf-Skinner allowed a few breaths to fill the time before speaking again. “She said if we do something different, it won’t change. But you're here. We’re all here. This is the path we’re already on! And if we keep going down it, then you might get that cure, Vita. And fuck, maybe you will see your Dad again too, Frankie. I don’t know. But this is what we’re doing, right? This, Vita, could actually be what leads you there.”

He might be right, Vita thought. The others felt the same.

But there was one way to find out if this was the ‘right’ path or not.

“What did you see?” It was Lance who asked the question. Of course it was.

ALIAS wasn’t of this world. He wasn’t the Other.

But in his dream, he might have been. And that would give them all cause for concern.

“Tell us,” Tyler Nickles urged. The thought of his father on death’s door was still ripe in his mind.

“Tell us,” Dolly encouraged. Her voice was soft and genuine.

“I’m part of the group,” Marf helped. He was pretty chuffed with himself for being able to get that out there.

“I saw…” ALIAS tried to think. “I saw…”

“Nothing.”

The North Korean War Queen spoke.

“Sorry, what?” Emily asked.

“He saw nothing,” the younger Daughter of ALIAS repeated. The two versions of the same person stared across from one another, as if the child could see right through the mask that the adult wore.

“I saw nothing,” ALIAS confirmed.

“How the hell would you guys know that?” Tyler asked. It all sounded like a bunch of bullshit to him.

“Probably the same way you know your sister’s dreams,” the young Paritegi answered. As ever, the clarity and confidence of her speech was beyond her years.

This was news to ALIAS. The girl, both of them, were… in his head.


“So what does this mean, then?” Frankie asked. “He has no future? If you dreamed that too, Queenie, then does that mean you don’t either? Are you… are you both going to die?”

“Or the rest of us are,” Lance said. It struck the room like a blow to the head. “If he sees nothing, then maybe there’s nothing to see. Maybe all of this never comes to fruition. Maybe we succeed.”

“Is that what we’re trying to do here?” Emily questioned. “Kill ourselves?”

“It’s what he’s trying to do.” Lance was pointed with his comments again. Because he knew.

ALIAS was trying to never let himself become this version.

But that meant that the lives these people had would never come to be.

Suspicion crept into the forefront of the War-Winner’s mind.

“What did you see, Lance?”

…

THUMP!

---

---

---

3D: To The Death


“What the fuck was that?” ALIAS shouted, jumping to his feet.

“THEY’RE HEEEEERRREEEEE!” the disembodied (literally) voice of Gator shrieked.

“Shit…” Dolly swore, breaking away completely from whatever holier-than-thou spirit had come over her. She was a fucking Waters, and with her life on the line, she was going to remember that. “All hands on deck! Get the fucking guns!”

“Dad…” Emily whispered. Over the panicked racket, nobody other than her brother heard.

“Let’s go,” he told her, and they both sprinted out of the hall.

“WAIT!” ALIAS shouted after them, seeing them run. Without further thought, he pursued after them. He darted through the narrow hallway and out into a larger open space, and then back into another passage. Though not as a unified group, the three of them weaved their way through the sanctuary’s labyrinth, dodging its citizens as they sprung into action to defend themselves.

The Nickles siblings dashed past where Gator’s head sat on its rock, and they were already squeezing their way through the opening of the cave when ALIAS burst into the space himself.

“They went that way,” Gator quipped, rolling his head a little in the only other direction possible. As if ALIAS needed any further guidance. He pushed through into the light himself and burst out of the sanctuary’s walls into…

An open field.

Wait, what?

“This wasn’t it looked like…” he said to the Nickles siblings as he stepped to their side. Where was the river? Where were the cliffs?

The space seemed intimate and infinite at the same time. It felt as though they were at the summit of a mountain, but the mountain’s slopes had been stretched horizontally around them.

Neither Tyler nor Emily seemed to give a damn.

Because their father was getting the shit kicked out of him by The High Lord.

They rushed forward.

“DON’T!” ALIAS tried to warn them. They didn’t heed his caution.

The High Lord kicked Charlie right in the nose just as the children came within arm’s reach. They both dove at him!

He simply chuckled, stepped back, and let them fall into the dirt.


Tyler and Emily tried to pull themselves to their feet. Finding their footing, they crouched low, hip-to-hip. They were always stronger together.

Nonplussed, The High Lord stepped back.

“Take him,” he said. “I’ve had my fun. He’s all yours now.”

The siblings were hesitant. ALIAS himself had begun inching his way towards his counterpart, and The High Lord saw him coming. They kept a watchful eye on one another as Tyler and Emily checked on their father.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Charlie screamed. Debilitated as he was, he rolled feebly on the ground, trying to put as much distance as possible between himself and his children.

“Dad, it’s us,” Emily said. She stepped forward, but again he tried to claw himself away.

“YOU’RE NOT REAL! YOU’RE NOT REAL! YOU’RE NOT REAL!” he repeated. His eyes spun around in circles. What trauma had he suffered?

“Behold!” The High Lord stood firm, and held his hands to the sky in proclamation. “I give you, Charle Nickles! The Family Man!”

The evil asshole chuckled through that wry, crooked grin. ALIAS would know that face anywhere. Not just because it was his own, but because of the exact look The High Lord wore. He had seen it in himself fourteen years ago when he had first stalked the XWF’s halls.

This is what he was fighting against. It’s what he has always been fighting against.

“You bastard,” Tyler said, glaring at The High Lord from over his shoulder.

“I think you’ll find that he’s the bastard,” he said, pointing at what was left of Charlie. “Besides, I don’t know what you guys are so bent out of shape about. All I did was tell him about your little secret.”

The Nickles looked at each other.

They had heard the rumours about their relationship as much as anybody had. They thought their dad had too.

“No, not that.” The High Lord laughed. “That was just a gag when I started spreading that around. You know what? It’s probably easier if I just show you.”

In a second, The High Lord had swept down upon Tyler and Emily. He grabbed each by the throat and hoisted them up into the air. It all happened with a strength and speed that ALIAS couldn’t match.

Just as he had done to Thaddeus Duke before ALIAS ever arrived in Otherworld, The High Lord ripped Tyler and Emily Nickle’s heads from their bodies.

Their spinal cords sparked. Their circuitry jittered.

And their shells fell to the ground.

“Robots?!” ALIAS heard Frankie Duke ask, as people began filing out of the Sanctuary. In every pair of hands was an automatic rifle.

Dolly Waters knew this day would come.

“I think the technical term is ‘androids’,” The High Lord corrected. “Good to see you again, Francis!”

ALIAS, either version, always had a thing about names.

A shudder ran up Frankie’s spine.

“Did… did you make them?!” ALIAS asked. “Just to, what, fuck with Charlie?”

“I mean… kind of,” he shrugged. “Technically Ned made them. And while the two of them making doe eyes at each other was kind of a dig at Chuckle-Berry there, he seemed oddly into it at the end of the day. Technically, I was probably more fucking with you than with him.”

“What? Why?”

“Look at how you ran out here after them! All those fuckers up there…” he pointed to the gathered sanctuary residents. “…you didn’t wait for them. Not even the girl! Don’t forget that I know you. I’ve been you, for crying out loud! After your little adventure with those two, you thought that somehow they would have some sort of role to play in saving the world. Haven’t you fucking learned by now, though? A Nickles will NEVER be the answer in stopping ME.”

“That tracks…” the God-Killer said. He knew this version of himself was faster and stronger.

But he was still ALIAS wasn’t he?

Charlie Nickles still rocked back and forth on the ground beside him.

“Ain’t nobody gonna stop me but myself.”

“That’s the spirit!” The High Lord beamed. They both seemed to know what that meant.

A desert whistle sounded.

ALIAS was back where this all started. His war with himself.

High Stakes.

He was a gunslinger, with his hand hovering over the holster, ready to draw.

~~~


~~~

“Except…” The High Lord prodded his finger in the air, jabbing it repeatedly behind ALIAS. “You’re gonna want to go and help them.”

“What?”

“AAAAARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” a nameless voice screamed.

ALIAS whipped around and saw bodies beginning to fall.

“Fucking shoot it!” Dolly Waters ordered. The sound of bullets ripped through the world. ALIAS saw Marf amongst the chaos, running about like a headless chook. Vita was there, fighting… something? The North Korean War Queen brandished her swords. Frankie Duke dropped onto one knee with his rifle drawn, looking as much like his father as a non-biological son ever could.

“Lance!” ALIAS saw him fumbling with a weapon. The girl, His girl, his fucking daughter, was cowering behind his BEST FRIEND.

He left The High Lord behind, and ran back to join the melee. What the fuck was it that was causing so much damage?

“Are you okay?” he asked Lance and Paritegi, the moment that he got there. They both nervously nodded their heads. “Get back then. Stay out of sight.”

“VITA!!!” Frankie shouted, and let rip a hail of bullets. Something had Vita by the neck. Whatever it was, the bullets just seemed to bounce off of it!

~~~

ALIAS didn’t know this, but Unknown Soldier had predicted what he would do. Having had time to acclimatise again to Otherworld, ALIAS would fight. It was his default position, after all.

~~~

He battered away some of Dolly Waters’ followers as he strode towards the beast.

The dead head of Tommy Wish made eye contact with him.

“Reggie?” ALIAS asked. It caught the attention of his once-rival. The murderous head of Reggie Estrada rotated towards the sound of his voice. John Black’s head followed. The Franken-T.H.U.G. continued to choke the death out of Vita Valenteen.

Frankie Duke shot Black in the head again. The bullet was absorbed then spat out.

“What have they done to you?” ALIAS asked, more to himself than to the T.H.U.G.s. There didn’t seem to be any humanity left in the poor sods. It made him feel a lot less guilty bashing their fucking heads together.

The World-Beater was relentless. He beat away at the Franken-T.H.U.G. until Vita’s still lifeless (as it was supposed to be) body was dropped from its grip. He would fight. He would always fucking fight!

“On yer ten!” Dolly warned. ALIAS didn’t know if it was to him, but he moved accordingly anyway. It was just as well. Another hideous creature practically cartwheeled past him. Bullets continued to fire, but Jenny Myst, eyes gouged from her skull, dodged each of them as if she knew where they would be.

And in the process, she snapped neck after neck of the sanctuary’s residents.

The Franken-T.H.U.G. was less graceful. His unnatural skin having quickly absorbed the blows he was delivered, he had gotten back to his feet and was ripping his way through the crowd again. He tore at limbs and bodies, leaving a trail of blood everywhere he went.

Enter the North Korean War Queen.

Her blades glowed in black, and as they swung through the air, they cut not just whatever tangible thing was in their way - like the dead head of Tommy Wish, which fell to the earth and was crushed under the Franken-T.H.U.G.’s own foot - but also at the very air itself. Visible ripples cracked the world around her as she twirled hypnotically between the beasts.

ALIAS stepped to the Franken-T.H.U.G. again. Frankie Duke’s bullets were ultimately harmless, but they still seemed to distract the beast enough for ALIAS to drop to one knee and…



Beyond the pale, as he is; outside the rules of reality, ALIAS separated John Black’s head from the Franken-T.H.U.G’s rubber-like body.

Feet away, Vita Valenteen pounced on Jenny Myst, lashing away at her skin with nails as sharp as claws. Monster-to-monster, they duelled. Vita almost had her teeth sunk into the blind fiend’s neck, until…

THUMP!

It was the same sound as before.

And it repeated.

THUMP!

Again.

THUMP!

The sound was closer than ever.

Marf, Dolly, and just the couple of the sanctuary residents that remained after Jenny and the Franken-T.H.U.G. had torn their way through, remained confused, but ALIAS and The Exiles knew exactly what this meant.

The Salmon-Coloured Minotaur ROOOAAAARED!!!

Unknown Soldier dropped from its back, landing smoothly on the ground next to his High Lord. Jenny Myst and the Franken-T.H.U.G. withdrew from the fray, joining their compatriots across the field.

The battle lines were drawn.

The emperor of fucking existence, three super-powered stooges, and a gigantic fucking minotaur on one side.

Space Jesus, a few regular humans, a small child, a vampire, and… whatever the War Queen was on the other. There were some heavy hitters there, but it didn’t seem very balanced.

Charlie Nickles still groaned away near where the enemy stood, slithering around in the dirt.

“Go to sleep,” The Oracle ordered.

“No,” The High Lord resisted.

That wasn’t going to work.

We - not just I - were going to have to fight.





“What the hell is that?” Frankie looked to the skies. The whir of a helicopter’s blades grew louder, alongside the music.

“I wonder if I can join their group…” Marf remarked, as the whirly-bird itself came into view.

Hanging out of it was The Witness.

The chopper hovered above the ground between the two armies.

The Witness dropped to the ground with the same grace as Unknown Soldier. And he wasn’t alone.

“Bastards!” A voice shouted from inside the fuselage.

Bobby Bourbon landed next to The Witness.

“Let’s get our brother back.”

Thunder Knuckles and Big Money Oswald exited the helicopter, kicking up a massive cloud of dust as they landed next to Bourbon and The Witness.

“Pants off?” Ozzy asked. Last time I heard that suggestion - from TK - I was set to be on the other side of the battle.

“Fuckin’ right,” TK replied, and both men whipped their pants off like they were attached by velcro.

Because they were.

Laser started firing from The Bastard’s respective cybernetic body parts. Bourbon’s nose, Ozzy’s legs, TK’s dick.

“FIRE!” Dolly shouted, seeing an opportunity. Frankie Duke led the barrage, but there wasn’t much firepower left.

The battle for the soul of the world began.

“Ghost Tank!” Unknown Soldier bellowed. He saw his old rival across the field, and the two charged at one another. But Oswald had back up. Vita Valenteen fucking flew into the fight, lending her vampire strength to the battle against the ALIAS-worshipper.

”I’ll make you pay for what you did to Ruby!”

Thunder Knuckles and Bobby Bourbon united again to square off against the Franken-T.H.U.G. It tried to absorb the lasers like it had bullets, but the results were much less effective. And with just Reggie’s head left to steer the ship, the O.G. Bastards quickly had the monster on the ropes.

The North Korean War Queen leaped into the mix. Her blades flashed their usual flare.

As they cut at the limbs of The Salmon-Coloured Minotaur.

ALIAS saw this and found it fitting. The guide of his first mission since re-emerging, against the muse of his second. And attacking with a frenzy as if the world depended on her - because it did - the North Korean War Queen was actually managing to push the behemoth back! It might not last, but it was an opening.

“I see you…” The blind Jenny Myst cackled as she slinked in front of ALIAS. He saw the gangrenous hunk of flesh hanging around her neck, and knew exactly what it was.

Lance’s ear.

ALIAS had his target. He held his breath, cutting one source of her ‘vision’. And he plucked her out of the air. Jenny tried to cover up, but blow after blow rained down on her from a man overcome by vengeance.

Which left…

The Witness.

And The High Lord.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” the future ALIAS said. They each began to pace towards the side of the skirmish, making space for themselves. “You don’t belong here. Your world never came to be. You are nothing more than a vestige of what would have come to be had you been able to stop me back then. But you couldn’t. And thus… you need to go.”

“And yet, here I am,” The Witness said, from behind his metallic mask. This was an alter-ego once used by Shawn Warstein, and The High Lord knew exactly was behind it now

Dolly Waters and Frankie Duke pushed forward. They were on their own now, the final residents meeting their fate somewhere in the carnage.

Lance and the Daughter of ALIAS stayed behind the safety of what Dolly and Frankie hopes would be phalanx.

“Not for long,” The High Lord promised The Witness. “The Universe has its ways.”

And he was right.

War is not glorious. War is not pretty. War is brutal. War is deadly.

Though the rest of The High Lord’s forces were being pushed back, The Witness was as well. It was over as soon as it began. He went the same way he had before.



ALIAS saw this happening. He left Jenny on the verge of death, but he was too late.

The Witness’s head bounced. Once. Twice. Three times.

His mask came loose.

Tears welled in Frankie Duke’s eyes as his arm raised, strained from the weight he carried. In his hand, the hair of his father intertwined around his fingers.

Thad’s head.

Blood dripped from its severed neck.

He saw his father again.

As it has been foretold for years.

“N-n-n-…” Dolly stammered. She lost herself and fell to the ground. This is exactly how it played out for her last time! She couldn’t save Thad! How was he even here?

The death of The Witness, of Thad, again, even caught the War Queen off guard. The Salmon-Coloured Minotaur batted her away. She flew across the plains, and took Bobby Bourbon out at the same time.

“Watch out!” TK shouted, severely delayed in his reaction. Only a second later, Oswald was picked up by Unknown Soldier and hurled into the air. He collected TK on the way down. Outgunned and outnumbered, the combined forces of The High Lord subdued Vita, and tossed her away from the battle as they had done all the others.

ALIAS was alone. Versus the world.

"Follow my voice."

He heard the call.

And he followed it.

His body filled with an unseen energy. Time and space felt like they channelled through his bloodstream. And fuelled by this, he moved between each of the enemies with a devastating ease. He cut them each down to their knees.

Even the Minotaur.

Even The High Lord.

War wasn’t the glorious battle that the television made it out to be. It was devastating.

He stood on the brink of victory. Unbeknownst, there was one more fight to be had.

“ALIAS…” Lance said. It was barely above a whisper. The bodies of the fallen were parted, and Space Jesus saw his BEST FRIEND, with his hands clasped around his neck. He lowered them. A red mark grew more and more visible, like a rope was being held around him.

Lance’s face was turning blue.

“I… I can’t breathe…” he struggled. The strength of his words was waning. What the hell was going on?

The Daughter of ALIAS stood next to him. She outstretched her arm, and in it there was a compass. Lance’s own. She had taken it when she was rescued from North Korea, just before she fled into Otherworld.

ALIAS looked between where The High Lord knelt before him, and where his own friend began to struggle to breathe.

He understood. Lance’s ear was missing, because this wasn’t an alternate future. It was the future. Dolly was right, unless we make a change, we won’t get a different result!

He didn’t even think of the implications for The Witness’s existence.

He couldn’t!

With what was happening in the past, Lance wasn’t supposed to be in this future.

The compass in Paritegi’s hand didn’t swing north. It pointed to ALIAS’s BEST FRIEND.

"Listen…"

He heard the Universe, but he didn’t even need its help. He still had the orb that allowed him to travel here to begin with.

The Daughter of ALIAS gave him another wink.

He opened a hole in space and time.

And he left Otherworld behind.

---

---

---

3E: I


I didn’t bother to look back through the portal. Once more I was leaving Otherworld in the midst of a battle. The last time that I did this, the North Korean War Criminal was eaten alive. This time?

I didn’t have time to even care.

I’m sure the portal zipped up tight behind me. I’m sure it was a magical thing to behold, full of orgasmic colours and some sort of super-celestial, intergalactic wonder. I didn’t look.

I had let my hubris get the better of me. I was so fucking focused on the Universe, that I hadn’t seen that which should have been right under my nose. It would have been under my nose! Had I not left. Had I not run off into the fucking storm thinking that me and my ‘fire’ could fight the torrential rain.

I knew that he had given me ‘permission’, but if I had to ask for it, that should have told me everything I needed to know. If only I was paying attention.

I picked myself off the floor. I… I…

I.

I.

I.

I!

I needed to stop making this about me! I needed to stop putting ‘I’ first!

FUCK! I did it again!

Eyes on the fucking prize!

Him!

The log cabin that The Nexus pretended to be was coated in dust. The piles of books that had been stacked in front of the maze of shelves and miscellaneous antique furniture had retreated to nothing. The shelves themselves were similarly bare and atop the desks and tables, stained stacks of parchment had faded away into an old memory. The Salmon-Coloured Minotaur would be so disappointed in me, wherever he was.

He was…

He was…

He was there!

I rushed forwards. I! Again! Fuck!

The emptiness of those shelves made the pathway clear for me to bound over them. In the far corner, next to my old bovine friend’s favourite workspace, the chair was knocked to the side. It was like the very ceiling of existence screeched with every swing of his body.

His legs were dangling loose, so I grabbed them and pushed up.

A haunting gargle spluttered from Lance’s mouth up above me. One that would live with me forever. Hopefully he did too…

With every ounce of strength that I had, I thrust him up to the heavens. Universe fucking save him! Give me more than your fucking voice! Give me arms to carry him! How long do I need to carry you on my shoulders until you start pulling your fucking weight with the heavy lifting!

Please…

Please…

“Please… save him…”

The noose was loose. But I… I didn’t know how long I could hold him up like this fo–

Forever.

This weight can sit on my shoulders forever!

“You will live, you sonofabitch,” I told Lance. Yes, ‘I’!

I!

I!

I!

“I won’t let you fucking go!” I promised. I meant it. I would stand here, holding him up like this, for all of eternity if I had to! “I will save you”

I can change the fucking world. And I won’t let this be the end!

I can move mountains.

I can part the sea.

“Live, you motherfucker!”

I can beat back the fucking reaper!

Dani arrived to check-in on him. A necessity given the trauma he had suffered. Her body just about gave out the moment she saw me clutching at his legs and trying to keep the slack in the rope tied to the ceiling above. I didn’t let that happen. I snapped at her to focus, and fueled by a mad combination of adrenaline and the barking mad orders that I gave her, she raced through the mini-maze of furniture that I had cut a path across, and clambered up onto the desk. She grew up on a farm. Knots were her thing.

The rope fell to the ground.

“I’ve got you,” I told Lance, bringing him down into my arms. His skin was cold, and his neck was red and raw. But… his throat wheezed, and when I put my fingers to his wrist, I felt the blood pumping underneath. It was faint. Nearly expired. But it was there.

“Is he…?” Dani stammered, falling to her knees next to me.

“He’ll live…”

I could not promise the same about others…

…

…

…

---

3.5: Prologue To The Next


“Special Charlie…

Special Goldi…

Special Charlie…

Special Goldi…”

Charlie Nickles rocked back and forth. He was unbound, and curled up in the foetal position on the metal floor. The slats of a barren bed hung half-broken from the frame next to him, and the mattress that once sat atop them was haphazardly discarded to the side. Blood stained through the bandage around his chest where his cybernetic implants once were. They had tried to tidy him up, but every time he was left to his own devices, something like this would happen again.

He was hurling himself into the air and driving himself through the bed.

And to the brink of madness.

“Special Goldi…

Special Charlie…

Special Goldi…

Special Charlie…

We will be together again, some day!”

The latch on the door to his room unhooked, and Charlie continued to rock away. A slight shadow passed across the room as quiet footsteps scuffed along the floor. Charlie looked up and smiled through his shattered teeth. A coffee mug settled on the ground next to him.

“A gift for me!” he squealed with glee. He picked it up, looking to biff it up into the air. Suddenly, his face dropped with disappointment. “It’s empty?”

He looked towards the unseen figure in the room, his face awash with disappointment.

“That’s not the gift,” the voice said, through muffled means. “In fact, I think after today, you’re just about done giving or receiving gifts all together.”

“What’s that then?” Charlie asked, pointing to where the figure stood out of sight. He still smiled that deranged smile.

“Your goodbye present.”

Click went the hammer.

And the barrel…?

"Just so you know, I’m the one who let you out of here weeks ago so that The High Lord could capture you,” the voice told Charlie. “Your friends are out of here now. They’re accepted. Like you never would be. They’re not even going to come looking for you…”

BANG!

The bullet punctured a hole in Charlie Nickles’s head. His body gave way instantly.

He was dead.

“Never forget…

You made me do this.”