Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-28-2024, 09:28 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Leap Of Faith 2022 RP Board
The Return to Otherworld Saga #2: Ears and Eyes
Author Message
ALIAS Offline
Space Jesus



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
05-22-2022, 06:54 AM



                                                                                                                              

























































2A: Open Your Ears

“Do you hear me?

I have to check, because you, Charlie Nickles, tried to paint it as some sort of mystery that I can hear you when you’re mouthing off about… whatever is that you tend to mouth off about. Of course I can, numbnuts! But just because I can hear you, it doesn’t mean I understand, you know what I mean? It’s not because what you’re saying is too clever or anything like that. It’s more of a ‘My name is Charlie Nickles and I have a tenuous grasp on reality’ kind of deal. So, answer the fucking question, Charlie.

Do you hear me?

Or don’t answer it. You could always dodge it like you’ve been dodging the question about why you bitched when I set a date for us to dance last year.

That’s gonna keep coming up a lot.

I know! I know! It’s kind of a gag question, the whole ‘hearing’ bit, but it sure as shit has a lot more legitimacy than whatever’s falling out of your feral cocksucker. ‘Cause we’ve already talked about how Vinnie Lane has drones, haven’t we? But what, are you just gonna pretend that didn’t happen like you’ve been pretending for fucking weeks now that you didn’t dodge ya boy last year?

Told ya!

This is another case of what we came across last time though, Chuck, ‘cause it’s either a matter of you just not hearing it - hence the question - OR you just straight up being a little bitch. And it couldn’t be the latter, could it? Not Charlie Nickles, no!

That’s sarcasm. I know I need to spell shit out for you.

You know, if you’re going to go down the hearing path - that is, not admit you’re my bitch - then maybe you should’ve kept Lance’s ear for yourself, because even without his body it’s still gonna have a better chance at understanding what’s going on than that mangled piece of shit you got back from Jenny Myst does. But I’m a big ‘believer’ in helping someone out rather than kicking them in the dick while they’re down. So let’s do a little exercise, eh? I’m going to play some sounds, and then I’m going to help you understand what they are. Got it? Cool, let’s go! I’ll start with an easy one:”


BAAAAAA!


“That’s a sheep.

I probably could have made a joke there about how whenever someone from BOB has ever found themselves in any sort of position to try their hand at the Master of the fucking Universe, the rest of your dumbfuck friends all jump on the bandwagon and follow along like sheep. And every single time you’ve been fucking wrong. But I won’t make that joke! Or have I already done it…?

Whatever. New sound!”


HONK! HONK!


“That’s a bus.

Not the kind of bus that you’re gonna be hearing about when they describe Charlie Nickles getting run the fuck over. No, see, that's another metaphor. Because that particular type of bus is just code for me doing you in. Again. The sound you heard is an actual bus. Do they have those in Steubenville? I’ve been there when you were in hospital, and I’m pretty sure they were just running around in Flintstones cars.

Anyway, here’s a new sound:”


WHOOOOOOSH


“This one’s a little more complicated. That, Charlie, is the sound of what we call a fire extinguisher. This particular fire extinguisher was used to put the flames out from your body, after last time we got to ‘do the deed’.

Because after playing bitch for a whole fucking year…

There it is again!

…when you finally had your chance, you lost. And I could’ve played bells ringing instead. I could’ve played Tig Ol’ Bitties announcing my name. But I chose that, because the sound of those extinguishers emptying out onto you is so visceral, don’t you think? And it reminds me a hell of a lot of all the fucking air being let out of the Charle Nickles balloon, right then and there. You can puff your chest out and try to pump yourself up again, but the leak in the balloon is still as visible as the moment I punctured the fucking thing. Shit man… it’s a big balloon. ‘Cause you’re a fat fuck, remember? Might almost be big enough to stick my massive dick in it!

Full circle, cunt. Just the first of many.

Now… I’ve got one final sound for you right now, Charlie. Are you ready for it? There’s no fun follow-up afterwards this time. Just cold hard fucking facts.

That sound?

I am ALIAS.


Yep, that’s all it is. And it’s one you’ve heard before.

But that’s the sound of the chickens coming back to roost. To be a hyperbolic drama queen about it all, it’s the sound of imposing fucking doom. Charlie… it’s the sound of your future.

I am ALIAS.

And all that entails. All that fucking means. By now, my name alone is a fucking metaphor! It represents that intangible dream that every single one of you motherfuckers is chasing! But you’re not good at metaphors, Charlie.

Weeping willows, much?

Fuck man, you’re not good at this, period. And hey with that… I think we’ve found out when a broken coffee mug is more than just a broken coffee mug!

Probably because Corey Smith gave the answer ten months ago.

Go look it up, then apply it to yourself.

Shit… there I go doing your fucking job for you again. Fucking told you that’s what I was doing for you. It’s almost like I planned this, right?

HA!”








2B: I Don’t Hear It

The Nexus.
22 May 2022.

The teapot whistled when it was ready. Steam billowed out into the log cabin room that Lance and Dani had been squatting in. It wasn’t really a log cabin, of course, but calling it such was more… normal. The alternative was calling it ‘the Nexus’, but Dani in particular felt uncomfortable about that. In truth, it was hard to define what it truly was and even harder to understand how it all worked. Sometimes, both of these guests thought it better to just accept what they saw at face value, and not try to dig any deeper. That was easier said than done though. Especially when half of the things that came across the full, floor-to-ceiling windows dominating three of the four walls required that deeper dive just to insulate against the insanity.

“I’ll get it,” Dani said, trying not to have a bit of an attitude about it. She was on the other side of the room, staring out into the comings and goings of one of the many communities cropped up in the wake of a visit from Space Jesus himself. This whole ordeal made her feel uncomfortable. She usually left ALIAS and Lance to mull over the inner workings of the Universe, or whatever it is that they do in their spare time. And that was okay, she thought. There was no leader of this movement she was a part of. Yes, they were inspired by the Universal Champion, but beyond that, the core tenant was free choice. When she was better positioned to exercise that choice, she would much prefer to be out there, with the people.

But she wasn’t positioned that way today. Lance wasn’t out there. He was in here. And with their BEST FRIEND ‘off-world’ so-to-speak, Lance would be all by himself if not for her.

He was closer to the teapot. That’s what got her goat a little. But with just one look at him, she was quick to forgive. He was sitting on the bed whose sheets were now tinged a little in pink after leaving the bandages around his head for a little too long before a change. The wound - Jesus, it sounded so casual when called that - had stopped bleeding within the first day. But with Lance having refused to see a doctor, the crust that had begun to form over where his ear had once been wasn’t exactly stable. He had been trying to keep off his right side while he slept to avoid disturbing the healing process further, but his body still hadn’t properly adjusted and he would make some very painful mistakes.

When he was able to sleep, that was.

“Earth to Lance!” Dani waved her hand in front of Lance’s vacant face.

“Oh?” he said, blinking in confusion. As he returned to the real world (allegedly), he found Dani holding the stainless steel pot in her hand. It really didn’t make sense how there was even electricity in this place to power the thing, but he saw the steam coming out of the spout as evidence that the thing had boiled somehow.

It was only his vision that gave it away though.

“I… I didn’t hear it,” he admitted. He dipped his head in a touch of embarrassment at the state of his hearing that he couldn’t hear a teapot whistling just a couple of yards away. “Sorry.”

Dani’s shoulders shifted back, and a look nearing pity slid onto her face. Lance hated that look.

“It’s okay,” she said, forcing a sweet smile. “I’ve got it.”

She flashed that same feigned smile and set to pouring out the hot, greenish-brown brew into two plain, white mugs. A dash of milk was added afterwards, and into one mug she scooped a lumped teaspoon of sugar. The spoon twirled in her fingers as she stirred the sugar in, and then quickly moved over to the other mug where she mixed the milk and tea. Grabbing the unsweetened one by the handle and cupping her spare hand around it for balance, Dani carried the cup of tea to Lance.

“Careful,” she warned. You don’t want to break it.”

Lance was torn between rolling his eyes and letting out a slight chuckle. It was a fair comment though. That shattered mug had been left on the floor for weeks before Lance was returned safe and sound. He then cleaned it up himself. Dani remembered ALIAS’s relief when he found out that Lance was the one who broke it, and that Jenny Myst and Jim Jimson hadn’t penetrated this space. It came across as a little insensitive to her. Lance, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind. She wondered if that was just a product of the different value they placed on whatever it was that the World-Bater was up to. Not that she didn’t believe him or his stories. She did. But she also worried about the toll it would take on other people. Like Lance.

She returned to where her own cup of tea sat on the nearby side-table, and took a short sip. It burned her lips upon contact.

Leaning against the wall, she then turned her attention back to Lance, who took his own hesitant sip. Pouring this drink was just one thing that he needed support with. The fact is, he hadn’t left the cabin since being recovered from The Brotherhood of Bastards and Jenny Myst. Her eyes floated towards the fireplace that also functioned as the Santa Claus-like entrance.

Today was supposed to be the day.

He had promised.

“Are you ready?” she asked. The tea was a part of the plan. She wanted to give him something to do and to hold. The thought was that doing so would help focus his attention somewhere else.

“Yeah…” he replied. It wasn’t very convincing.

Dani nodded, not wanting to put any pressure on him. She sipped from her mug again. Lance took a mouthful of his own - far more than Dani suspected was comfortable. He gulped it down and grimaced a little as the liquid burned him from the inside out.

Just like Him

It seemed to be enough to kick him into gear. Keeping the mug grasped in his hand, he rose up from the bed and staggered, shaggy and unkempt, towards the hearth.

“Let’s just get this over with,” he said. Dani didn’t need much more convincing to fall in beside him.

“Where to?” she asked.

There were settlements of the movement across at least three continents by now. The world was practically their oyster. Dani suspected she knew where he wouldn’t choose though…

“Portland,” he said.

Exactly the opposite choice of what she thought he would say.

It wasn’t Oregon that he was referring to. It was Maine.

Lance’s hometown.

Where he was kidnapped.

“Are you sure?” she double-checked.

Lance just drank his tea and stepped into the world.


[Image: Givb2Ad.gif]



Dani stepped out from behind Lance into the budding city-within-a-city that lined the backstreets of Portland, Maine. They both recognised this place, but it had grown even more since last they were. Dani wondered how much longer could it keep doing so? Not much was left of the facades of the original buildings, and the once puddle-ridden concrete street was in the process of being overlaid with bricks outlined into an ornate mosaic. It looked as though a man was riding a bull into battle against something that was not quite yet designed.

She looked back to the inconspicuous iron door behind them, wedged into one of the walls. Going back through would take them back to the safety of the cabin/nexus, but Lance wasn’t worried about that at all. He was looking straight forward. Dani was kind of proud of him.

He looked a little unsteady. His mug wobbled. There were so many people here. He knew it would be like this, but it was a very different experience trying to confront it again in the flesh.

Dani held her own mug in one hand, and gently rubbed his back with her other.

“I’m with you,” she said, quietly. From somewhere within, Lance found some resolve.

Together, they stepped forward into the chaos. Heavy things were carried back and forth beside them. Children dashed and darted. A whole community worked together for the betterment of each other.

“Jim!” a man shouted, waving to another, who soon raced over and scooped the shouting man up into his arms.

“Mornin’ Mr. Green,” a young woman said to a makeshift baker, who handed over a warm baguette.

~


Lance grew bothered again. Dani grabbed his arm to comfort him.

~


“Jenny!” an old mother bellowed. “Jenny! Charlie! It’s time for lunch!”

~


Lance shook once more.

~


“Jenny! Charlie!” the mother continued.

~


Dani held on tight.

~


“Jenny! Charlie! Jenny! Charlie! Jenny! Charlie! Jen-! Char-! Je-! Ch-! J-! Ch-! NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE!”

~


Everything came rushing back.

Lance bolted back to the safety of The Nexus. Dani followed after. And their mugs? Well… what do you think?







2C: Meanwhile In Otherworld…



Otherworld. Location unknown.
The year 2040.

The travelling party had been carried onwards by the everlasting wind. They had broken free from the brush just outside Ned Kaye’s laboratory late in the evening that they had set off. The stream that they had found served as their guide, and it slowly but surely grew into a full-blown river. From where they were now, several days on, the water rushed between rocky embankments that it had whittled away at over the course of history. It bottle-necked a little between two minor cliffs, and ricocheted its way through a zigzag of its own design before careening on further across the landscape.

ALIAS hung over the edge of the top of one of these rocky growths, reaching down to the mud below. The weary arm of Marf extended up from the ground and grasped at Space Jesus’s wrist. ALIAS threw his weight back, and Marf started to scale the rockface. The ground crumbled, and his feet slipped, but the clasp of the two men’s hands stayed firm. With just a little more struggle, Marf soon found himself sprawled atop the higher ground.

“Are you two done pussy-dicking around?” Tyler Nickles looked back at them with a derisive grin.

‘Are you done being an asshole?’ ALIAS wanted to ask. He didn’t though. Mostly because he already knew the answer. A Nickles never learns. A Nickles never changes. Except…

“Come on,” Emily, Tylers’s sister, urged. She seemed more rational than her brother. Or just a touch less psychotic. Probably the product of not being her father’s ‘favourite’. Because that’s exactly the kind of person that Charlie NIckles was. Still, the Bastard-Tamer knew to keep his wits about him, and not put too much trust in her. Her father’s Demos persona may have been crazier than Charlie’s typical self, but it also seemed a touch more noble. At the end of the day, he was still Charlie though. And Emily was still Charlie’s daughter.

From the top of the small rising, Emily found a pseudo-staircase of rocky pillars to hop across, descending her way back closer to the riverbed. There was no well-trodden path for them to follow, so the group had been taking turns making their own. Tyler followed his sister quickly after, with a short gap between him and the last two adventurers. Marf was only just to his feet again when ALIAS set to hopping his way down behind the siblings. The former Left Hand Man, thus, brought up the rear.

“How long do you think we have to go?” The Wolf-Skinner asked from the middle of the pack. No matter who took the lead in finding the short-term path, the more medium-length aims were being guided solely by Tyler and Emily. The group had been travelling for several days now, and only two things seemed to be binding them together: their common destination, and the fact that nobody had seemingly tried to gut another member while they slept. But this was Tyler and Emily’s world. And Marf’s, though at this stage it was up for debate whether he was even seeing the same physical environment that the rest of them were. Either way, ALIAS was just a visitor here. Searching for a girl.

The girl.

The Daughter of ALIAS.

And apparently, searching for an Oracle too.

The siblings seemed to think ‘safety’ could be found there, however that was to be defined. In the rare moments Marf showed any sort of lucidity, that seemed to be his biggest aspiration. From how he looked, nobody could begrudge him that. The Nickles’, meanwhile, were a little more vague about their aims. The current suspicion was that they were just looking for a place to belong - a place to be accepted. Not that they would ever articulate that. They might not even consciously understand it.

“We should be there any second now,” Emily replied. ALIAS caught her glance out to the water. Seeing the sparkle on its surface was a far cry from the barren, desolate wasteland he encountered last time he was here in Otherworld. Nature always finds a way.

Tyler patted her on the shoulder as he passed, taking the front position for himself. Emily soon fell into line behind him.

“That’s what he said yesterday,” ALIAS thumbed at Tyler up ahead.

“Yes, but that’s because he enjoys annoying you,” Emily said.

“You enjoy it too, Ems!” Tyler shouted back.

“I’m part of the group!” Marf beamed. Nobody acknowledged that he even said a thing.

“So is this you just annoying me, or are we actually going to be there soon?” ALIAS asked. It was a valid question, that he had to wait a moment to receive an answer to. He ducked under a makeshift, natural arch made of fallen stone, crawling on his hands and knees to get under the lowest point. When he came up on the other side, he saw Tyler and Emily standing at the edge of the river, where a pointed, triangle-like ege jutted out a couple of feet over the point where the water splayed itself against the rocks below. It was maybe a ten foot drop down.

“You tell me,” Emily said, hearing their tagalong’s breath coming up behind her and her brother. She extended a finger across the river to where there was a small, grassy bank on the other side. It was cut into the otherwise fairly straight up-and-down rock, and the result was a tiny little cove well protected from the water swashing its way around another corner.

“That’s the place?” ALIAS asked, a little underwhelmed.

“I see it!” Marf shouted with glee as he came up next to them. “Pretty lights!”

“Lights?”

A squint revealed what Marf was talking about. Two flickering tiki torches were pressed against the cove’s backwall, either side of what appeared to be a crack that just may be big enough for someone to slip through.

“I’m going to join their group!” Marf shouted again. He bolted off the edge of the cliff, cannonballing down into the water below.

A couple of moments passed. He didn’t resurface.

At this harsh change in direction for the river, the water below was a rough mix of rapids and swirling eddies. It would have been dangerous for even the best swimmers! Marf was–

“There he is,” Tyler half-chuckled. Sure enough, Marf’s shaggy head popped up in the middle of the river, and he started doggy paddling his way across. It wasn’t very effective…

“He’s got the right idea,” Emily shrugged. “We do need to get over to the other side.”

“Yeah, but couldn’t we just take that raft right there?” Tyler pointed to the side of the water, still down below. Inexplicably, an array of logs had been fastened together and then roped to what remained of an old tree trunk - the rest of which must have been carried away by the surging river quite some time ago.

“That’s bizarrely convenient…” ALIAS remarked. That was the general consensus across everyone else as well, but The Universe tended to work that way for him. Looking out to see Marf struggling in the water, there didn’t seem to be any other way.

“He’s going to drown,” the Nickles brother said rather bluntly.

“Let’s just get this over with then,” ALIAS responded. He began clambering his way down towards the raft, and had to make a small, spider-monkey-like leap from the rocks in order to land on the roped-together platform. Glancing up to the outcrop that he had descended from, he saw that neither Tyler nor Emily had moved. He looked at them expectantly as he gathered the rope tied around the dead mound in his hands. A silent suggestion of disembarking without them was enough to prod them on their way, and both siblings began scampering down. The very moment that the final set of feet hit the raft, ALIAS dislodged them from their mooring and the river swept them away.

Their destination was a little further downstream, so the direction the water flowed was suitable in that endeavour. It was a different story altogether to try and make sure they hit the green bank rather than colliding with the wall and going the way of Marf. Without any oars to help them, the three on the raft were forced to substitute this by lying on their bellies and clumsily trying to synchronise the scooping of their arms in and out of the water. It worked better than any of them thought it would. They were even able to collect Marf on the way, who clung to the edge of the raft and kicked behind it like he was using a flutterboard. The added oomph was just enough to steer the raft right into the cove. It clipped the rock wall a little as it entered, but still managed to wash up on the shore in one piece. Its passengers dismounted, and Marf dragged himself out of the water, looking more like a beaten dog than he ever had before.

“I told them that the raft would be a good idea!” a voice was heard, just as the travellers were about to figure out the next step.

“Who said that?” ALIAS asked.

“Me, you anxious-hobo-fuck,” the voice replied. “What’s the matter? Never heard a spooky mystery voice before? Of course you have! ‘Follow my voice’, idiot.”

That phrase… it can’t be…

ALIAS checked the faces of his companions to figure out if it was just in his head, but the looks on their faces confirmed that he wasn’t alone in hearing this call. Which meant it wasn’t that voice. This one, as real as can be in an alternate reality, sounded like it was coming from the direction of the still burning torches at the back of the little cove. As such, that was exactly the direction that he led the four of them in.

“That’s it!” the voice egged them in. “Closer…! Closer…!”

They found themselves staring straight into the crack in the wall.

“Don’t just look at it, stick that big ol’ dick you like to brag about in it!” All four visitors really hope that’s a metaphor rather than a literal request for ALIAS to copulate with a cave. Thankfully, the voice allays their concerns. “Come in! Jesus, I would’ve thought that would be obvious…”

Again, the Legend-Breaker sought advice from the others. Without saying a word, they were able to reach a consensus. Trepidation remained, but ALIAS turned his body to the side and began wriggling his way through the opening in the earth. He had to be careful not to hurt that magnum dong, but if anyone could do the impossible, it was him.

The slit wasn’t deep, but there were a couple of awkward spots where the rock closed in tighter around places on his body that didn’t have a lot of space for give. He made it through though, cock and all.

On the other side, ALIAS found himself in a dark cavern, lit up by torches just like those that were on the outside of the space. It was warm and dry - he wasn’t expecting that. Marf would appreciate it, however. It’d help him dry off.

Behind him, he heard the grunts of either Marf or Tyler trying to follow him into the cave. But it was what was in front of him that surprised him the most.


[Image: Bdr3ITc.jpg]



“GATOR…?!” ALIAS gasped. He didn’t know the XWF Legend well, but he did know a bit about the fate that befall him in Otherworld here. Gator, alongside Vinnie Lane, Theo Pryce, and Doctor Louis D’Ville, united as The First Resistance against The High Lord.

Against Him.

They were slaughtered for their efforts.

Then, when ALIAS and The Exiles had infiltrated The High Lord’s Dark Tower, they were forced to battle their way through zombified versions of The First Resistance and slay the legends all over again.

“You’re supposed to be dead…” ALIAS added, clarifying his confusion.

“You wouldn’t believe the number of times that I’ve heard that,” the zombified head of Gator said.

The sounds behind ALIAS had changed. Tyler was out of the cavern’s entrance, and struggled to split his attention between the head of a fucking zombie(!!!) and helping his sister. ALIAS, however, was singularly focused.

“H…how?” the God-Killer wondered.

“You know that North Korean War Drag-Queen, or whatever her name is?” Gator asked, rhetorically. “She’s kind of mean…”

“She cut your head off!” ALIAS pointed out.

“Yeah, she did!” Gator said. “It sucked! But… I guess it didn’t kill the brain or something like happened with the others, and… zombie, you know? I got better. Kind of…”

Gator thought that made a whole lot of sense. So did Marf, emerging out of the cut in the wall and joining the other three in the cave with the head of Gator.

“Can I join your group?” the dolt asked. ALIAS did a double take. Was he asking to become a freaking zombie?

“Not sure that’s how this particular zombie strand works,” Gator replied. ALIAS suspected that he would have shrugged if he had any shoulders. “I mean, I can bite if you’d want. I’d much rather take a bite out of this tasty treat though…”

His eyes leered in Emily’s direction, and ALIAS felt like he was about to throw up.

“Oh.” Marf looked disappointed. “I think they’re in a ‘group’ together already.”

“Whatever it takes to get the job done,” Gator winked. That nauseous feeling only grew more intense in the stomach of the World-Eater.

“Are you the Oracle?” Emily asked, partly in an attempt to deflect the conversation away from whatever it is that this fucked up version of Gator was after.

“HA!” Gator made an effort to really sell that fake laugh. “No, I’m not the Oracle. I’m just the distraction.”

“Distraction?” Tyler repeated. His, Emily’s, and ALIAS’s eyes darted back and forth between each other.

“It’s a trap!” ALIAS shouted. But it was too late.

A voice whispered in the back of his mind. An ethereal call, as if from the Universe itself.

But it wasn’t the voice he was used to.

“Go to sleep.”







2D: Dreaming Of The Future

Otherworld. Location unknown.
The year 2040.






































































“This doesn’t have to be your future.

This… nothingness.

But it will be if you don't change things.

Listen for my voice.

Follow it.”







































































2E: Awaking From A Dream

Otherworld. Location unknown.
The year 2040.

It was bright when he blinked his eyes open. Unnaturally so. An errant bulb shone down right above him, but all he wanted to do was roll over in bed and go back to sleep.

Sleep.

He wanted to…

“I’m awake!” ALIAS swore, jolting upright. He found himself seated in a bed loaded up with pillows. The mattress underneath hugged him lovingly. Bunched around his legs and waist were sheets that must have had a thread count in the thousands, and the blankets on top of him were softer than anything he had ever felt in his life. This was a foreign experience to him. He was happy with his single bed and ratty sheets; he was happy in the dark and dingy Nexus he had adopted as a sort of ‘home’; he was happy sleeping in the shadows, rather than in the light.

Sleep.

He didn’t want to sleep. Not now, and not when he first went down either. Who… how…?

On his left was a rocky, cave-like wall. To his right, however, a row of beds stretched out into the distance. He saw bodies in many of them. Safe, snug, and sleeping. What a lovely idea…

'No!' he resisted again, in his head this time rather than aloud. He tossed the bedding to the side, letting it fall out of the comfort zone of the bed and onto the rugged ground. His feet followed suit, still encased by his usual pair of tattered shoes. Come to think of it, he was completely clothed just as he was when he entered the cave.

The cave! That must be where this is! Some back section to it that wasn't visible under the dim light of the small flames that were in front of the head of Gator.

Whatever grogginess had come over him was shaken away and replaced with a touch of curiosity mixed with concern. ALIAS was as used to swimming in unclear waters like this as anybody could be, but that didn’t mean that he liked it. There were no windows for him to gaze out of, no tucked away spaces for him to brood in. And then there was the small matter of the other bodies in the room. Heeding that uneasy feeling bubbling away in his stomach, he approached the nearest bed - as decadent as his own was. With his gloved right hand, he reached towards the amorphous shape tucked away underneath it.

The figure rolled over before he made contact.

The hackles on the back of his neck went back to rest.

It was Marf.

As if he could feel someone watching him, Marf’s own eyes began to flit open and he came forth from his slumber.

“Hi,” he said, with a delirious grin.

“Hey, bud,” ALIAS replied. He tried to make his voice as soothing as he could - something he didn’t have a whole heap of experience with. “You feeling okay?”

“I had the bestest dream,” Marf continued. His child-like innocence was on full display. “I was a part of the most amazing group! They weren’t even being try-hard bad guys for once!”

“That sounds lovely.”

Marf rolled to his back and then propped himself up his elbows, stretching his shoulder blades out. ALIAS offered him a hand and after he was done limbering up, Marf took it and allowed himself to be pulled up to a sitting position.

“You were in the group,” he half-said, half-sung. “And so was I. And Charlie Nickles wasn’t in the group, but his children were and they were soooo nice. They were even going to let me into their super-secret ‘group-within-a-group’, but I got scared.”

“No we weren’t,” Tyler Nickles said, rising from the cloud of bedding on the bed next to Marf. ALIAS clocks her, and then spies his sister Emily rubbing her eyes awake one bed further down.

“Oh…” Marf said. He jutted his lower lip out in a clear sign of disappointment. “Well maybe we’re still in the dream then. There were more than just us there! There was a young man, about the same age as Charlie’s super friendly son! There was a vampire, and there was a ninja, and there was a tall, slender man whose face looked like a ghost’s! There was also…”

“Will you shut up?” that super friendly son said.

“Umm… guys…” Emily muttered. It wasn’t loud enough to get the mens’ attention.

“Nobody cares about your stupid dreams,” Tyler continued his haranguing of Marf.

“Did you dream?” Marf asked back to Tyler, oblivious to the Nickles child’s tone.

“W… what?” Tyler stumbled in reply. “Fuck you!”

ALIAS took that as a ‘yes’. And that Tyler had dreamed of something he didn’t want to share. Marf, bless his heart, pressed further.

“What did you dream of?”

“GUYS!” Emily shouted. That was enough to break up whatever it was that Marf and Tyler were about to get into, and capture their attention, alongside ALIAS’s.

Emily was staring further down the cavern where more and more beds dotted the room. The nearest ones all had their sheets tossed to the side, and were empty of the bodies that ALIAS could have sworn were there previously.

He was right.

Because the bodies were standing in a cluster, staring back at them.

There was a young man, about the same age as Tyler, give or take a couple of years. It was Frankie Duke, Thaddeus’s son.

There was a vampire, looking identical to how she did eighteen years prior in ALIAS’s world. It was Vita Valenteen.

There was a ninja, or what might look to be to the untrained eye. In truth, this was a killer, capable of single-handedly taking out the entire Bastards mercenary group. She was known as the North Korean War Queen, but underneath the mask, ALIAS knew who she really was. Paritegi. The Daughter of ALIAS. But not the one he was looking for.

And then there was the man. Tall and slender. Lance. Otherworld’s Lance.

ALIAS pushed to the front, past Tyler and Emily. He had asked the Nickles siblings to help find The Exiles, and they directed him to The Oracle instead. And yet… here The Exiles were. Or what was left of them…

“You’re back,” Frankie Duke said. ALIAS thought that he detected a sense of relief in that. If he was right, however, then Frankie was doing a hell of a job obscuring it.

“I am…” ALIAS replied. His eyes floated over to Vita. “You’re with the group now? Officially?”

“There’s not exactly a membership process…” Frankie jumped in from the side. ALIAS smiled a little, but tried to keep his attention on Vita who was anything but smiling.

“I figured it was the least I could do given…” She trailed off. But ALIAS knew. It was about Ruby. It was about Unknown Soldier murdering the Banana Lime Blur on the top of the Dark Tower. Vita had hoped to build a new home for the former prisoners of The Bastards like Dick Powers, Taco, and whatever was left of Barney Green. Ruby and Soldier were supposed to help. Ruby was going to be a part of that, but the Super Dear-O gave her life to try and stop The High Lord. To try and stop… ALIAS.

“There’s so few left…” ALIAS said, but it was just something to say for the sake of saying something. He saw Lance, lingering in the background and doing his due diligence, shifted focus to his ‘BEST FRIEND’. “You too?”

“After what happened on the Tower, when you were kicked back to your world, there was no way I could stay there,” Lance explained. ALIAS nodded, understanding. “The Exiles took me in.”

As Lance spoke, his head bobbled a little bit, and ALIAS caught glimpse of the side that had been slightly tilted away. His eyebrows furrowed and he strided forward again, nudging Vita and Frankie out of the way. He grabbed Lance by the shoulders and spun him a perfect ninety degrees to the side. The Soldier-Butcher stared at the side of Lance’s head. And what was missing from it.

His ear.

Lance, this Lance, was without an ear.

“Did this happen on the Tower?” ALIAS asked. He didn’t see how The Exiles escaped from the rampaging Salmon-Coloured Minotaur, after his future self threw him back into his own timeline. Given he had now seen these four, and had already tussled with Unknown Soldier since returning to Otherworld, it appeared there weren’t any further casualties after Ruby and the North Korean War Criminal. He felt dirty thinking that to be a good thing, given that was two lives too many. The possibility of life-changing injuries were a different story, however.

“What are you talking about?” Lance asked, shrugging himself free from ALIAS’s grasp. “Jenny Myst and The Bastards did this to me eighteen years ago. Shouldn’t that be happening in your timeframe, right about now?”

“It… just happened,” ALIAS said. A great wave of uncertainty washed over him. “You… you didn’t have that injury when I was here last, though!”

“What are you talking about?” Lance asked. “Of course I did!”

“No, you didn’t.” ALIAS was adamant. He would have remembered that!

Lance, meanwhile, is convinced he did.

“Yes, I did,” he reaffirmed.

ALIAS spun around the group, looking for confirmation. Tyler, Emily, and Marf weren’t present for the battle atop the Tower, so they wouldn’t know. But Frankie and Vita were there. Their faces, however, were as equally confused as Lance’s.

The War Queen!

She was different! She would know!

ALIAS settled on The Daughter of ALIAS. Her face remained hidden behind her expressionless mask, and she gave nothing away.

“Can I join your group?” Marf piped up, completing undercutting the moment.

Tyler and Emily both dropped their heads and tried to contain their laughter.

“So what, you’re with these crazies now?” Vita - a literal fucking vampire - asked, motioning towards the Nickles siblings. ALIAS had forgotten that Vita would have spent time with them when the three all lived at The Bastards’ Freak Show. He looked back over his shoulder to where both Nickles were standing, but Tyler in particular, looked entirely unimpressed to see The Exiles.

“They actually told me about The Oracle. Given that you guys are here, I figure you’ve been on a similar mission. Tyler and Emily back there said that if anybody knew where–” For a brief moment, his eyes flicked to the War Queen, the grown version of his ‘daughter’. “…where I could find the girl - my version of the girl I mean - it would be him.”

“‘Her’, actually,” a voice came from the far end of the room.

ALIAS recognised it. So too, did every person there. It had commanded them all to sleep, and that’s exactly what they did.

But more than that, ALIAS recognised it because it was a friend.

Frankie Duke ran forward and hugged his father’s sister-from-another-mister.

This was Dolly Waters.

The Oracle.

She smiled sweetly as she wrapped one arm around Frankie. Her other, was busy holding onto a tiny hand.

And that caused Space Jesus to rush forward.

Dolly had Paritegi with her. His version of Paritegi. The little girl giggled as Dolly let her go, and she jumped up into the arms of the Universal Champion.

“I trust y’all had a nice sleep?” Dolly asked. A resplendent white robe swept along the ground behind her.

“You did that to us,” Tyler Nickles accused.

“I did,” she admitted. “I had to see what it was that you were dreaming.”

“Why?” Emily asked.

“To see yer futures,” Dolly said. “Come on, we’ve got a lot to talk about…”







2F: Dreaming Of The Past

The Nexus.
22 May 2022.

##“Take it off”, the bastard sounded
“Give that vile, demoness her toy”
Choppy-chop, horror abounded
Blood-soaked rags drenched and puerile joy##


~


He tossed and he turned. Innocence destroyed.

~

##That painted face, that devil’s laugh
“You will never forget this night!”
Victimised on his FRIEND’s behalf
Scarcely did he put up a fight##


~


Blood seeped through the scab, hidden until the first of morning’s light.

~

##Terror! Terror! Ugly visions!
Never to sleep a-fucking-gain!
This life he chose, but now has risen
That which could topple reigns of men##


~


Lance awoke in the dark of the Nexus’s den.

As he had the night before.

And the night before that.

And that…







2H: Go 2 Sleep

“Oh look, we’re back!

Now before you go and get all goofy about this, I know exactly how all that immaturity must have came off last time. Dick jokes? Calling yo mama a whore? Insults about incest? Not exactly high brow stuff, right? I mean, it’s still enough to make Charlie Nickles look like an idiot, buuuuuut… it lacked a little of that avant garde bullshit that some of you cunts would like to think is all I am. You know what I mean. The metaphors inside metaphors, like some sort of ridiculous Russian doll scenario! Well what if we had a bit of fun with it? What if we mixed up all of the cracks and said something like how this Universal-sized metaphor of a dick I’m swinging is currently thrusting all up in Charlie Nickles’s metaphorical mama’s metaphorical cunny for the low, low, low metaphorical price of a used toothpick and the handle of a broken coffee mug?

Watch out for the spill on the floor!

…When I SPLOOSH.

What do you think, friends? Is that enough ‘metaphors’ for you? Or is it all just meaningless drivel? What on earth could it possibly all mean?

Simple!

My dick in your mother makes me… your fuckin’ daddy, boo.

BOOM! That, my friends, is a fucking masterclass in ‘anything you can do, I can do better’. I explicitly said as much to Peter Vaughn, and that wasn’t even the first time I had intonated it. ‘Cause while Charlie tries desperately to find meaning out of his miserable existence, I actually fucking do it. I pick up every little speck of life that comes my way, turn it over, find whatever vitality lives within it, pluck that shit out, and I swallow it whole. When I say that I’m going to ‘eat’ someone, I fucking mean it! I’ll feast on their goddamn lifeforce! Metaphorically… and not. I could list example after example of where I’ve done exactly that. I could DO YOUR WORK FOR YOU. But that’s a story that isn’t finished yet. That’s a coffee mug that hasn’t quite broken.

The point is, that I'm the kind of guy who could come in and yank your shit, and everybody would just shift their mindset and agree it was mine to fucking begin with. And I'm gonna do it again, Charlie. Oh you bet your ass I am.

You might not be the TV champion anymore, but I am taking Goldi from you.

Say it louder for the kids in the back!

I AM TAKING GOLDI FROM YOU.

I had a chance to think about how you bitched out of your end of the deal…

A different bitch out this time!

…and that doesn't work for me, brother.

Mine now, Terry Borden.

As far as I’m concerned, you said you wanted to offer me a shot, and then you fucking chose not to. Because I told you to bring it to Leap of Faith.

And you’re not.

Not officially, anyway.

And you can babble all you want about how management wouldn’t let you, or whatever excuse you’re going to scramble to come up with, but uh… you’re the guy who hit Theo Pryce with the Devil Hook Drop just the other week, bud. If you have the stones to do that, but not to put the championship on the line against me, then the only reasonable explanation is that you knew you’d be kissing Goldi goodbye for real if you actually made the deal official.

So… the fact that you still have Goldi in your physical possession means that I’m willing to come up with a new deal. One that you don’t have a fucking choice on.

THE CHAMPION GETS TO CHOOSE THE STIPULATION.

WHEN I WIN, I GET POSSESSION OF GOLDI.

I don’t care if it’s late in the game. I’m not a lowly ‘TV God’ like you. I am everything. The Universe has been speaking to me for fucking months now - go check the tape!

And The Universe said it wants to take a shit on Goldi on Monday morning.

I AM TAKING GOLDI FROM YOU.

Hopefully that repetition will sink it into your fucking skull.

‘Cause this? All of this? This fucking Universe? It’s my house. And in my house, I make the rules. And really… you already agreed to it as Thrax.

Please play the ‘that wasn’t me’ card.

But with my practical omnipotence when it comes to this shit nowadays, it means that this is happening. Full fucking stop, it is happening. It also means that if I want to talk about my dick, I talk about my dick. If I want to call your mother a slut, I call her a fucking slut. If I want to run a train on your ass - ‘metaphorically’ of course - then I run a train on your ass. Shit, I don’t even know if Mama Nickles is even alive, and I STILL feel comfortable circling back to that line without a care in the world. Which in turn, circles us back around to the point of all of that last time. And once again, we’ve gone full fucking circle. I said I’d be running circles around you, didn’t I? And I also said you’re too much of a lardass to keep up, and wham! There’s another connection that I’ve made between things!

Holy shit, I think I just went another lap in one fucking breath.

Fact is, Char-Char, I can stand here, asshole peeled right open, and just a’waiting for you to take a bite… but I know that you’ll slip up and just start giving that bootyhole of mine a wash with that tongue of yours instead.

Example number one: If you listened to Charles, apparently I haven’t been able to have a moment’s peace since I regained the Universe. Not sure that tracks when I had a pretty swell and calm April, but why would you let a little bit of continuity get in the way of making a fool of yourself, eh? Not when you can go on and say that you make sure I bleed. That was it, right? You.

Ladies and gentlemen, apparently Charlie Nickles is the same person as Jim Jimson! Apparently Charlie Nickles is the same person as Marf! Apparently Charlie Nickles is the same person as ALIAS! Wait… what?


Last time I checked, Charlie, you’ve been playing this thing like it’s March 2021 all over again and tucking your tail between your fucking legs any time the man comes back around. You sent Jim at March Madness, and Marf on Star Warfare. But you haven’t had the fucking stones to do it yourself. And the moment I come knocking for you and yours, well you had already high-tailed it out of dodge, hadn’t you? But hey, if you wanna bring the fam, bring the fucking fam, bud. Pointed straight the fuck at them like I am, I’ll take on every goddamn Bastard at once. And you know how that’ll end, don’t you?

Same as it ever does.

ALIAS wins.

That still hasn’t changed. Send as many fucking goons as you’ve got, and it won’t ever change. Because do you know who you’ve become, Charlie? Cowering away like that while others DO YOUR FUCKING JOB for you?

Wowza, even I wasn’t expecting to get a two-for-one meaning outta that line!

You’ve become The Baphomet.

And that’s about as low a fucking insult as anyone can give from the past couple of years.

What, aren’t I supposed to be fucking bragging about being jumped by them? Fucking what? Since when?

Only thing I’ve done anywhere near that is point out that no matter how many people have tried to take their shots at me after matches, I still keep just fucking winning. It uh… really hasn’t slowed any of that down at all. Even when…

Example number two: Lycana beat ALIAS and apparently came out of the deal stronger than ever! By winning… not by pinfall.

Huh…

But Charlie Nickles also said:”


’LOL U FUCKED UP’ Said:You throw The Nickleman through a couple flames and all of a sudden you’re some kind of GOAT?

“AND…:”

’LOL U FUCKED UP AGAIN’ Said:I pinned him for a championship belt and he threw me through the ropes: this is the most one-sided rubber match I’ve ever fucking seen!

“So… either Lycana’s win means nothing and Charlie is just full of shit, OR, MY burning of Charlie means a hell of a lot more than he’s claiming… and he’s also full of shit.

Interesting conundrum.

If I was in your position, Charles, I’d be taking the former, because nobody really cares to protect Lycana’s reputation anymore, but that’d be me DOING YOUR FUCKING JOB FOR YOU.

Everything I was saying last time really should be falling into place by now.

Of course, bringing Lycana into the mix like that really opened you up to that Baphomet crack earlier. It also makes you look like an idiot for totally glossing over the fact that I WON THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP THAT FUCKING NIGHT. But hey, Charlie’s gonna do what Charlie’s gonna do. And that’s be a gigantic fucking dumbass. You should note though, bud, that Lycana figured it out on the first run through one on one. Nobody has figured it out on the second - and that includes some of those names that YOU have never been able to mix it up with.

Advantage still firmly in the realm of the King-Slayer.

Shall we play more?

Example number three: Memory fucking lane…:”


’THE MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE’ Said:“Congratulations on beating Raion Kido. I really wasn’t expecting that. My money’s still on you not even making it to April with the Television Championship. Not after coming into contact with me.

That’s how it works, Charlie. Throw all the fucking toys you want, I said it so it must be true.

HA!

Try to prove me wrong…”

“I said it so it must be true, right?

It couldn’t be…

No…

It’s not like me to ever draw references to the past, right? It’s not like, well, anybody who’s a goddamn human to laugh or something when they’re in on a joke, right?

Oh… it is?”


’MAN ON FIRE, NOT JUST HIS PANTS’ Said:“Ash, it all! I said it so it must be true. The Doctor (not that one), the artifacts, the puppets, the hospital, that cold rock hurtling through space… all of it I turned to ash. The Salmon-Coloured Minotaur, even. Every little piece of my story.

Because I thought that part of the tale was done.

Looks like Lycana was right.

I'm a liar.”

“Woof. I said that shit against Soldy. Oh, baby, that looks like a direct throwback to my own shit. Remember how I told you I do that? And how I told you I was leaving things out there for you to trip yourself over? That is what one really calls sewing seeds in advance.

Guess it was all a little too deep for you though, eh? Shit, and I thought I was the one who you said needed to ‘turn up to work’ more? Here I am…

DOING YOUR FUCKING JOB FOR YOU!

I set it up last time, and now? It’s delivering. Just that fucking easy.

Now, don’t get it twisted, Charlie. I still didn’t think your Television Championship reign would last until May, and I owned up to that earlier in the week. But if there’s one thing you have done that’s useful for me to know, it’s show me that all of Raion Kido’s talk about the Universe are as big of a fucking fairy tale as you are. Well Mirror Mirror, on the wall, who’s the dumbest cunt of them all?

Still you.

Because…:”


‘WAIT, U FUCKED UP AGAIN DIDN’T U?’ Said:I can pull out the receipts if the bitch boy wants to press the issue, but I’ve never been one for all that law school shit. I just spit the truth, week after week, and that’s why I’m going down in history as the best to ever fucking do it.

“That sure explains the shit that followed that statement, doesn’t it?


But be my guest, do the exact thing that you said that you’re not one to do! Use people like Centurion and Reggie Estrada’s words to try and ‘law school’ that other line you cherry-picked. Tell the world how people saying something opposite to me LITERALLY AFTER I said my piece somehow makes me uninformed. That’s not how any of this shit works. Even when time travel’s involved, and I should know! On the flip side, I’d say you have a good point with Raion, but he’s literally been wrong about everything when it comes to you, so I feel like leaning on that crutch would be a bit unstable for you.

And now, I could go back and find lines like Ruby saying you’re as fearsome as the wall Humpty Dumpty sat on, which she totally said, and totally supports my statement, and is another example of me DOING YOUR WORK FOR YOU, but I’ve kind of made my point, haven’t I? You can come at me with my own words all day, but one fuck up, like you saying you that you don’t tend to do that, and everything you say from there just falls apart. And yes, I know I’m cherry picking too. The difference is, I didn’t say I fucking wouldn’t.

You did.

Just another thing Charlie Nickles failed at when it comes to he and I. Let’s face facts, dipshit. When it comes to this here comparison? You’re the Raion Kido. And you can boast about how many matches you have all day long, but when you’re still unable to get the fucking job done against me, it actually makes you look even worse, man. It makes it look like you’re learning nothing. Or it makes you this generation’s Centurion. Either way, as much as I like Andy, it still leaves you in the same position. Charlie Nickles. Same as he ever was. A broken record, not a shattered mug. Butchering whatever fucking rap song he’s got playing along while he stretches his own asshole out for this here dick. Well like I said, Charlie, it ain’t your cup that’s breaking. It’s the idea that you or anyone in BOB will EVER be a threat to me.

And yes, that might be amongst the most direct, most arrogantly confident things that I’ve ever said. But the more I fight and the more I conquer… the more true it just seems to become.

You’ve come in with all of this crackhead energy before, Charlie. And you were wrong.

One more full circle.

Now? Just go to sleep, bitch.

Here, let me do your job a-fucking-gain for you to help you get how that one’s a multi-leveled fucking line too.”



Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 5 users Like ALIAS's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (05-23-2022), Atticus Gold (05-23-2022), Raion Kido (05-22-2022), Theo Pryce (05-24-2022), Unknown Soldier (05-22-2022)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)