Following the events of Wednesday Warfare 05/04/2022

Having just suffered yet another tag-team loss, this time at the hands of Mark Flynn and NKWC, we find RL Edgar and Dolly Waters licking their wounds backstage. The wound licking isn’t near as salty this time. Edgar’s neck isn’t bent to kingdom-come. Dolly’s isn’t laid out staring into an imaginary cosmos and hearing the voices of ghosts, darling, and the entirety of the XWF “brass” aren’t backstage contemplating relieving the Uncle-Niece duo of their contracts.

Unfortunately, even with these positive upgrades to their post match condition -with the scrapes being sewn shut so to speak- a nagging itch still remains:

Though the match itself - a tornado brawl aboard the “Millennium Falcon”- was an instant classic full of back and forth drama, and entertainment, the result never really seemed to be in question. Dolly and her uncle Edgar just weren’t ready to face Flynn and War Criminal… not yet anyway. The tag team mountain in the XWF is one that Dolly will not waiver from attempting to ascend. Her heels are very much dug into the cliffs. Edgar however, is growing more skeptical with each mounting failure.

All things considered- Dolly jingles from her larynx, zipping a black hoodie up over her training top and slinging a gym bag over her shoulder. Edgar applies his own gear, listening to his niece, but doesn’t make eye contact. He takes a swig of water from a plastic liter, and leads the duo out of the locker room as Dolly continues polishing the proverbial turd, -like there being no wrestling ring? The gun fight with those H-shaped spaceships, the-

”You mean the Tie Fighters?” a monotone correction,

Dolly snaps her fingers, her voice becoming even lighter, That’s the ones! Tie Fighters. I’m still learning.

Hey, you were a natural with that laser cannon-, she blushes a bit awww shiiii, just lucky, and even in a disappointed mood, Edgar can’t help but feel uplifted by his niece as he breathes deeps, chuckles and says ”If only I could be a bit more natural at wrestling maybe I wouldn’t have gotten rolle up with that inside cradle” Dolly skips up to Edgar, stopping him with a pull on the shoulder, No. he faces her, Lucky. Only if you were a bit more lucky. Comrade is really becoming a wiz with those roll-ups and cradles. All the natural ability in the world can’t help you kick out of those. Trust me, he’s beaten a team of mine twice with it now.

”Lycana….” he grumbles,

A what?

”The blue-haired wolf chick? She knocked me and Demos out of the Tag Turmoil last year with that same pin. I guess I’ve got a knack for getting caught by technical wrestling holds.”

Meh, there’s a few leverage adjustments we can work on that’ll help with keeping yer’ legs sturdy on the canvas, Mema-... her face runs a little pale, as she stops herself from muttering the word: ”Memaw Misty?”. Edgar’s face sags mid syllable,instantly regretting speaking her name. His biological mother. Dolly’s grandmother. The machiavellian lunatic who attempted to make her own granddaughter a blood sacrifice to some fabled “greater cause”.

Dolly rolls her eyes as the two of them keep walking up the hallway towards the parking lot,

...she taught me about it, a LONG time ago.

Edgar nudges Dolly’s shoulder, trying to break her from the obvious, inadvertent shift in demeanor he triggered,

”Hey, with your tutelage I’m certain I’ll get the hang of it” he delivers the complement with conviction, while still feeling half hearted inside. It’s not Dolly that he’s doubting either, and while he’s probably woken from the whole-


-out of body thing he experienced during his meditation, he is certain that Dolly will be just fine. The ring was made for people like her, or rather, she was made for that ring. It’s him though. He’s starting to think that his focus and energy at restoring his life might be well spent elsewhere.

”-PLUS!, he continues as they near the steel double doors at the end of the hall leading to the parking lot, ``You'll be getting more and more tag team experience under your belt soon”. Dolly, still settling down from the haze of combat with Flynn and NK takes a moment to process what Edgar is suggesting before it dawns on her, Oh, right! I have that tag team match with Jason Cashe coming up on Anarchy. That dude is built like a brick shithouse. Should be a lot of fun. Then after that, we link back up two weeks from now.

”About that…” Edgar says through a bite of his teeth and a stretch of his lips. Dolly stops herself with her hand on the rail door handle, turning and giving her partner a curious bend of the head, ”...I’m not going to be on the card.”

The- wait- the fuck? Why not?

”An AA retreat in Dayton. My sponsor really thinks I need to be there. We’re going to do a Traditions workshop.”

Dolly can barely hide the look of disappointment from her face, but it’s blended with her patience and understanding given her own experience in recovery,

...well. Sucks. But if yer’ sponsor wants you to go, I guess you orta’.

The traditions workshop is a real thing, and in the Mesopotamia of Twelve Step recovery no-less, Dayton, Ohio. But could he have easily declined the invitation? Probably. Perhaps this was the beginning of him looking to shift that focus and energy away from wrestling.

So I guess I’ve got the next Warfare off too…

”Well, not exactly.”

Oh?

”I’m not on the card. But I was able to find you a replacement partner… and with little convincing no-less.”

Dolly’s face twirls with incredulity,

Who?

She pops the door open to the parking lot, and outside awaits an all black SUV from a familiar fleet of vehicles. Out steps a tight dressed chauffeur,

“Miss Waters?”

Guilty.

The chauffeur walks around the front of the vehicle and opens the rear passenger door, stepping aside and motioning his arm for Dolly to enter,

“Thaddeus Duke has sent for you.”

Duke? Dolly begins skimming through her phone to see if there was a text, a voicemail, a Tweet, any type of message from Thaddeus that would suggest he was planning on having her picked up. But she knows well that communicating like a normal human isn’t always Duke’s style.

A touch on her shoulder from Edgar breaks her dizzying spell from the cellphone as she looks back up to her smiling uncle.”I can swing by the commune and check on Mutty Waters if you’d like.”, [doll]Uh, naaah… it’s okay.[/dolly] she says sounding reasonably distracted, I’ll give Corey a call and let him know…

Edgar turns to leave as Dolly enters the SUV,

Unc- - - Hey Partner? he stops and kindly raises his eyebrows in anticipation, See you soon?

“We’ll see.” he thinks to himself, and instead of answering, simply throws up a peace sign and waves goodbye to his niece.

Tranquility Prime

The engine of the yacht strokes the massive sea vessel through the Caribbean waters in silence. Silence all but for the gentle strokes the black, yet almost neon waves brushing onto the fiberglass and aluminum. In a most cliché setting, Dolly gazes up at the full moon and starry sky from Tranquility’s Bow.

It’s been a long time coming, you know?

Not even the abrupt nature of Thad’s entrance into her senses can shake Dolly from the calm she’s found herself in the midst of, gazing out to the horizon where heat lightning flirts with the settling hue of the sunfall.

A long time coming…

What’s that? she queries, while gauging if the two of them were on the same page,

You and me teaming together again… Revolution Prime. not on the same page, but close enough, Even fer’ old times sake… she finally breaks her gaze from the sea, the skies, the storm, and climbs into the considerably taller Duke’s eyes, ...it’s nice to finally happen. making a mallet with her fist and softly pounding Thad’s hand stretched across the yacht’s rail.

Even against the THUGS?

Dolly laughs,

ESPECIALLY against the THUGS. Talk about nostalgia overload. Kicking Tommy Wish and JB in the teeth is so passe. In a good way!

Duke agrees with a smile and flings the bottom of some champagne out of his glass and into the ocean. Now he takes a moment of appreciation for Tranquility, gazing out onto the waters and wondering…

What would’ve happened had our team never broke up all those years ago?

Well, we never really broke up, I left the XWF, remember? Things got…

...confusing. I remember.

Nice euphemism. But you had to be there. Ya know? she says pointing to her head,

I couldn’t have imagined-

-you don’t have to do that- she stops him, and redirects, playfully twisting her lips and shifting her eyes in contemplation Hmmm… what WOULD have happened had Revolution Prime continued.

Commence the cliche dreamy transition scene:

…The year is 2032… And the XWF Tag Team Legends: Revolution Prime are well into their retirement from professional wrestling. After dominating the Tag Team division for years, having multiple noteworthy runs with the XWF Tag Team Championships; Thaddues Duke and Dolly Waters decided to focus on singles wrestling. At the end of 2020, Duke would win the Universal Championship, and at the Relentless Noir PPV in the Summer of 2021, Dolly would headline the show against XTreme Champion Jim Caedus. But tragedy struck… Dolly tore her ACL mid-match, and would never step foot in a wrestling ring again. Though it was always suspected, no one knew for certain that Thad Duke and Dolly Waters began to engage in a romantic relationship during their time as tag champions. Thus, when Dolly became badly injured, Thad vowing to take care of Dolly, retired away with his bride-to-be and began a new life… Even giving up his life bourgeois riches, and donating his vast wealth to appease his new wife’s communist idealism. Thad and Dolly immersed themselves into the world of white working class struggle. Viva la revolution… of Revolution Prime. BA-AAAA-BY! Dolly Duke hacks out between the draw of a Marlboro ultra light-100 What now? God-da- The fuckin’ brats are interruptin’ muh shows! Naked and Afraid: The Moon Thad, fresh home from the damndest day at the Office of Public Sanitations, (aka the back of the city dump truck) is not really in the mood for Dolly’s shit. To say she’s let herself “go” since the injury all those years ago is an obese understatement. She hasn’t stepped foot out of their double wide trailer in nearly seven years. Four years since leaving the living room sofa. The poor guy can barely even gain satisfaction from their six children (Thad II, Corey, Jenny, Flower Child, Wood and Schiz) anymore. The sounds of them screaming, and arguing over 7G bandwidth combined with the intermentient: BA-haaaacccck-AAAAAA-B-rughguHACKragHACKBAAAAY Has him… flustered The once rich, mighty military commander, the former Universal Champion, is a meek and scrawny fifty pounds underweight, hiding away on the toilet watching pronography on his cellphone and drinking Heaven Hill vodka straight from the bottle. He’s developed a shaky demeanor, and a weird obsession with… He ties a belt around his neck, just as the content on his cellphone begins to get REALLY hawt, and-

Now wait! You really think-

I dunno she laughs, Just as plausible as anything else, right?

I don’t know about that… but it’s probably more plausible than the THUGS picking up a win over Revolution Prime. the duo bump fists, I promise you, dude. If we lose to the THUGS, I will eat myself onto ‘My 600 LB Life’, just to be CERTAIN that I never step foot in the ring again.

That’d be a helluva transition, you’re like 100 pounds soaking wet.

Not any crazier than Tommy and JB’s bi-annual full-bodied transformations. They give me hope!

Hope?!

That I can be a reality TV star! Which is better than being one of the THUGS.

You’re probably right about that…

You know what else is right?

The price?

The price is ALWAYS right… she puffs and rolls her eyes,

What then?

It’s right time that Revolution Prime beats Tommy and JB into their next transformation a little early.

You’re such a badass.

You love me.

I know.

-to be continued-

Well if it ain’t my old pals, Tommy ‘bunion boy’ Wish and John Blizzy. The first two men to ever make the young Dolly Waters feel uncomfortable during her time in the XWF.

And I’m not talking about being uncomfortable at the prospect of having to fight grown men in the ring. Noooooo-no-no. You two know EXACTLY what I’m talking about.

But heck that was like seven years ago. Water under the bridge. You guys have like, really GROWN, ya know? No more dumpster diving for scratch-and-sniff dirty mags, you two got breaded, and can buy up all the poo-tang yer’ twisted little hearts desire now. Earning just enough money to objectify, and tarnish women’s reputations in the real world. Bravo. It’s a model of dedication and consistency that matches up well with yer’ careers in the XWF.

Virtuous displays of longevity that any aspiring punk from the streets should look up to…

That’s right kids! You TOO can grow up, and if you consistently pop enough MDMA, and huff enough paint, you can keep your bodies and minds numb enough to endure nearly a decade's worth of being walking, talking, child-wrestler-stalking, punching bags. And they’ll pay you for it! Unbelievable, right? This truly HAS to be the greatest country on earth.

Anywho, I’ve gotta say boys, it does my heart good to see you both still around and plugging at the dream. Milking it for every last dime. I mean who really needs to win matches or accomplish anything when you can be a THUG? It’s not a knock either. Not like the way Thad and I are going to knock yer’ heads together next Wednesday. No, I mean I really wish I had it in me to just stick around throughout my perils, or when I knew I’d be anything less than average, and in good faith collect a paycheck from Theo and Vinnie for being enhancement talent for literally the ENTIRE roster.

Seriously. You two are being booked against a duo in me and Thad who haven’t teamed together since 2017. Would you wanna’ take a guess at who the odds-on-favorites to win this match are? Now I haven’t the slightest clue what Joey-Wheeler and Dealer has said, or if he’s even still alive, but I can promise you, it ain't the THUGS.

Now I’ll grant you this. Thad is a former Universal Champion, the friggin wrestler of the year, a man who’s grown so bored with beating up this roster that he has no choice but to wrestle his best friend (that’s me) on his way out of the XWF to go find new companies to conquer. And me? Well… I’m Dolly goddamn Waters. You both know first hand what I’m capable of. But that point I’m trying to make is that a team such as yours, with two wrestlers as experienced as you, with guys who break the rules as often as you two do- this should be a much more daunting challenge on paper.

But it ain’t.

Because not all experience is of value.

You can make experience worth its weight in GOLD, or worth its weight in… well, YOU. The THUGS.

Phhhhuuuuuucccck THAT.

You see, I’m coming off of a tag-team loss to the Champions of the XWF. And in between that loss, and mine and Thad’s match against you’uns, I’ve got a tag-team pit stop on Anarchy teaming with Jason Cashe to take on Ruby and Generic Heel.

Do you think I’m just gonna drift onto Anarchy as if I didn’t just get beat and not care about trying to improve and win? You can think that if you want, you can consider me a mirror for whatever sport it is you two play here, or you can wake up and smell scalding hot coffee I’m serving you THUGS.

Because the experience I gain in a two week difference ain’t nothing like the perpetual losing act of nearly ten years for you Tommy, or you JB. By the time Thad and I roll into Tampa I’ll have made enough adjustments in my game to have picked up a win over Ruby and Generic Heel, which is about ten-times the needed adjustment for Revolution Prime to send you two packing up shop with another loss t that illustrious list you’ve compiled over the years.

You’ve both truly have put together an impressive list over the years of people you can’t beat. So the only question remaining is this one:

Once you’ve had the distinct, and rare privilege of adding Revolution Prime to said list- what will be your next move? Will you take the experience of this ass kicking we’re going to hand you and FINALLY have a revolution… an evolution of yer’ own that doesn’t just involve defying evolutionary science with yer’ weird body dysmorphia obsessions? Will you finally take this loss and use it as a means to improve?

Or will you just keep doing the same old same old?

Wudduya’ say we find out, huh?

For old times sake?

2x KWA Unified Southern Glory Champion
6x KWA Middleweight Champion
4x KWA Tag Team Champion
1x XWF XTreme Champion


-Dumb Dolly records that no one cares about-

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
3x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory