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Vita Frickin Valenteen · (04-26-2022)

Vita seemed to have quickly come to terms with her two most recent losses and was ready to move on to her next challenge, a second chance to capture the SuperContenential championship, but first, she would have to get past former XWF Universal Champion, Peter Vaughn at "Star Warfare" on May 4th! Vita's confidence was high heading into this match as she believed herself ready and able to combat and expose any dirty tricks that Peter Vaughn may try to employ during the contest due to her own experience in rule-breaking years prior. The run to Warfare wasn't set to be smooth sailing, however. While Vita was confident, she knew that she needed to treat this match seriously and be on top of her game, but her training was set to be impeded by Jami's execution of Sar's order to put Vita out to the media.

The worst part?

Jami had signed her up to reappear on the "Stone Cunt Podcast", only this time in person. She may not have feared stepping into the ring with a former Universal Champion, but the idea of coming face to face with Noah Jackson seemed to terrify the poor girl!

"Come on, we don't HAVE to get on that plane! You could easily book me on a media tour around New York!"

We open in the parking lot of an airport.

"You're right, I don't HAVE to, BUT, an external study that I ordered indicated that 83% of XWF fans enjoyed the awkward banter between you too and demand for your return to the show is SUPER HIGH!"

The two girls stood behind the trunk of their rental. Half of their luggage was still in the trunk before this conversation distracted them both from the task at hand.

"DEMAND FROM WHO!?!" She shouted with exaggerated hand movements.

"The XWF fanbase, OBVS!" Jami said with a proud smile.

Vitas.Eyes.Rolled.

"Our fans don't care about Noah Jackson or his stupid podcast! Let's just go back to New York and do a media tour there! At least that way I can train at MY gym!"

"If only it were THAT easy! What do you think, that I can just make a phone call and have you on The View the next morning!? I wish!" She said with that very same pleasant smile. Jami sure is a pleasant person!

Frustrated with Jami's persistence, Vita considered using her vampiric control over Jami to avoid facing Noah. That would be a huge step as Vita really didn't like the idea of taking away a person's free will, though she has made exceptions in the past, like when she commanded Chad Hart to confess to any and every crime that he had ever committed, or how she continues to keep Jami in the dark about her true existence as a thrall, but using her powers to avoid a face to face with her ex seemed like it might be a severe misuse of her powers. The truth is, Vita wasn't as sure as she should be. It seemed that since becoming a creature of the night, Vita's sense of right and wrong seemed to be becoming more and more perverted as time went on.

Suddenly a familiar voice called out from behind them!

"VAMPIRE VITA! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR END AT THE HANDS OF-"

It was with a huff that Vita turned to face Dexter. Frightened by the sight of the goofy cosplaying vampire slayer, Jami backed against the trunk, but Vita was unphased by the "threat" standing before them.

"Dexter, what in the frick are you doing in Canada?" She asked in a way that seemed to convey concern but in a scolding manner.

"I was on Reddit again, and the post about the bounty for your head had been updated and the price for your head raised because of your continuous quips about the Brotherhood BOB! Now, I, Dexter The Destroyer, have returned to claim my prize! Soon, Nvidia will release the RTX 4000 series, and when they do, I will be the FIRST man at the Best Buy, with your head as my payment for the most powerful GPU mankind has ever seen, THE RTX 4090!" Dexter chuckled with pride.

Dexter readied his small sword in a sloppy stance and charged toward Vita with ill intent!

"Dexter, stop!"

Without a word, Dexter immediately stopped in his place. Jami looked on confused as Vita turned her back to Dexter with finger to chin.

"Vita..?"

"Shhh! I'm thinking!"

Jami's eyes shifted back to the man who was just trying to attack them moments ago. His eyes looked empty and soulless as he stood motionless.

"What did you do to him?"

"Don't worry, he's fine!" She said dismissively.

Cautiously, Jami approached Dexter and poked him, but there was no reaction. Jami looked back to Vita, who was still pacing in thought.

"I've got it!"

Vita marched up to Dexter, taking Jami's side, who was still perplexed by this entire scene since Vita had been commanding her to forget each instance where she discovered Vita's thrall abilities, or her status as one.

"Dexter!"

The vampire slayer suddenly snapped to attention!

"Hand me your sword!"

Jami took a step back as Dexter handed over his sword to Vita.

"Vita, what are you about to do?" She asked with the concern of a person in charge of keeping ones public image sparkly clean.

Vita scoffed, knowing exactly what Jami was thinking. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt Dexter! He's a sweet kid, even if a little misguided."

Oddly for her, Jami instantly makes the connection with Dexter and Vita's opponent at Warfare. "I'm relieved to hear it, but I sure hope that you don't have that same mentality at Warfare." He could also be considered a lost and misguided soul, and Vita had already pledged to try and steer him right.

"Don't worry, trying to save Peter Vaughn's soul is totally secondary to preventing him from getting his rotten mitts on the Super Con!" Vita placed Dexter's sword at an angle against a cement parking block and stomped a mighty vampire stomp that snapped the blade nearly to the hilt, leaving but a nub of steel. She admired her handy work before handing the blade back to Dexter.

"Dexter, go to the Bastard's club and wait for TK to show up. When he does, stab him in the butt until he agrees to cancel his bounty and pay you a fair wage for all of the trouble that he has put you through!"

Dexter saluted his vampire queen while under her direct manipulation. "YES MA'AM!" And with that, Dexter took off running south looking like Steven Seagal.

"Uh, Vita... That's a really weird-looking plane!"

Vita turned to look at the futuristic space-like craft flying towards them.

A smirk crawled onto Vita's face. "Classic XWF", Vita thought. "That thing is obviously just some stunt to promote the special Star Warfare. I don't think management really appreciates how little I sell these sort of things..."

The ship hovered overhead for a moment before Jami noticed two smaller ships detach from the larger ship. They begin to descend down towards the two girls.

"Uh... I don't know Vita... Something doesn't feel right about this..."

Suddenly the larger "mothership" vanished into thin air, likely due to some super high-tech cloaking device. Vita's eyes narrowed on the two ships quickly approaching them as she took a defensive stance in front of Jami. As the ships landed, Vita could read the markings on the ships. Most of it was code and numbers that she wouldn't understand, but one thing did stand out to her, an acronym that read C.A.N.U.C.K.

"Yeah, I think you're right... This doesn't seem very Star Warsy..."

The bay doors on each ship opened in unison as 8 armed troops dressed in matching red and white Mountie-like uniforms marched out of both ships and aimed their guns squarely at Vita. Jami raised her hands and cautiously backed away as Vita quipped:

"You guys don't work for Vinnie Lane, do you?"

They didn't answer her, but they didn't need to as just then the real man in charge stepped off of the ship. His thick swole perfectly shaped body was tightly caressed in the red and white of her homeland Canada, complete with a design where the two colors met in the shape of a maple leaf. Vita did not know what C.A.N.U.C.K. was, or what any of this was about, but she knew him: The Marvelous Mountie, an old-time Canadian Superhero from the 1940s. He's more than a bit obscure considering how little action Canada allowed him to see, but everyone remembers the story of him being KIA just before the end of the war!

"Who are you supposed to be?" She asked as she wondered if the man before her could possibly be the real deal.

"Vita Valenteen, by the order of the Canadian Prime Minister, you're under arrest for obstruction of justice and crimes against humanity!"

"...Crap..."

Two troops restrained Vita as Jami began to really panic.

"Wait, you can't arrest her! What about the Stone Cunt Podcast!?"

They began to lead Vita onto the ship, but somehow through the confusion of this situation and the overall shock of being arrested, Vita did manage to find some comfort as she looked back at Jami.

"I guess we'll have to cancel!" She said as they lead her into the ship.

...

"Like hell we will!"

Words From The PR Rep
Vlog Upload

"Hi, guys! some of you may know me, but for those who don't, my name is Jami! I'm Vita Valenteen's friend and PR rep! I'm here today to tell you all that Vita is working REALLY SUPER HARD! Passion, heart, determination, integrity, and heroic are all words that can describe the dedication and effort that Vita applies to her craft, and rest assured XWF Universe! Vita is hard at work right now in preparations for her upcoming contests against former Xtreme champion, Reggie Estrada at Savage and former Universal Champion, Peter Vaughn at the following Warfare!"

"Now, Vita asked me to assure all of her loyal fans not to be concerned by her lack of participation in the promotional materials this week! She did suffer two pretty big losses in the last run of shows, and is laser-focused on ensuring that she doesn't make the same mistakes this time around! She's training hard and watching tons of clips, or tape as she calls it. Such a stupid phrase in this day and age, isn't it? I mean, when's the last time that someone used a videotape to playback anything? I mean, YouTube, hello, right? Alright, guys! Keep cheering for your Vamperteen Queen, she totally digs the support and it's because of you guys that Vita can dig deep and rise above what should have been two huge glass ceiling enforcing losses, and have the courage to stand across the ring from super intimidating former champions without even flinching, and if she's going to rise above these challenges, she's going to need all of the support that you can muster guys! I mean it! We need you to be the loudest, craziest, most into fans that wrestling has ever seen! Peter Vaughn is going to cheat! IS! MUST! HAS TO! There is no way he can win otherwise because simply put, Vita Valenteen is the better wrestler from bell to bell."

"At least, that's what Vita thinks! Me, I'm not so sure! I mean, sure, after watching some clips of Peter's matches, the odds of him trying to cheat his way to victory do seem pretty high, and yeah, I know that I don't really know a whole lot about professional wrestling, but I'm just saying... While Vita might be recognizing the mistakes that she's making in the ring, I'm not sure that she's aware of the mistakes that she's making outside of it. Her banking on Peter Vaughn cheating in this match, and her processing the ability to scout and avoid such tactics seems pretty shaky to me. What if Peter doesn't resort to cheating? What if he's just the better wrestler on May 4th? I don't think that Vita has even considered that possibility, just like I don't think that she's considered the possibility of him succeeding in his efforts if he does try something. This sort of one-note strategy could prove disastrous..."

Whatever that was, Jami shakes it off and sparks right back to life with a pearly white smile.

"But with you guys on her side, she'll have the motivation and focus to try and correct those potential mistakes in the ring, should the need arise! I really don't know what she would do without you all!

C.A.N.U.C.K. Holding Cell
Somewhere...

Vita paced the small empty cell. Seriously, there wasn't even a pot to poop in, not that vampires needed to poop, but I point that out specifically to emphasize just how barren this room was. The sole intruding object in this otherwise perfectly symmetrical room was a 360 camera positioned above the cell door. Vita stomped her foot as she glared into the camera.

"This is ridiculous! You've had me here for days and I still don't even know why!

Suddenly the cell door slides open all Sci-Fi like and The Marvelous Mountie storms into the cell with armed troops on either side of him.

"Chad Hart recently confessed to numerous counts of rape among other things. This was a sad day for all of Canada when the truth finally came out."

Wait a minute, she thought. "Finally? You knew!?"

"Of course, we knew! Chad had already been privately convicted of his crimes and was working as an agent of C.A.N.U.C.K. to repay his debt to society when one day he decided to call the police and turn himself in. Obviously, this behavior was odd, and speaking to him turned up no results. Chad couldn't even explain why he did what he did. All that he could tell us was that he had spent the last week training a young girl, a vampire. That's when I noticed the two puncture wounds on his neck Ms. Valenteen, puncture wounds that he could not explain how he had acquired. So, do you have anything that you want to tell me?"

"...crap..." She thought. "Can I make a phone call?"

"No."

To Be Continued...

On The Build To SAVAGE!

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