LIVE!!! FROM THE WHITTEMORE CENTER ARENA IN DURHAM, NEW HAMPSHIRE! Big Money Oswald & Thias Watts - vs - O Bay T. Law & Bartholomew "Boots" Lichter Tag Team Rules! One RP Per Team! Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif Elijah Martin - vs - Bama T. No Holds Barred Grudge Match! Bama INSISTED he get a chance to fight Elijah Martin after the events leading up to Bad Medicine! Referee: Chaz Bobo Tommy Wish - vs - Jason Cashe X-Treme Rules! Referee: Virginia Hymen HGH - vs - Lord Raab Steel Cage Match! Referee: Mr. Referee Latina Submission Machina - vs - Vita Valenteen Submission Match! Referee: Ari Silverstein Jax Hart & John Caedus - vs - CENTRUBION (Centurion & Ruby) Tag Team Rules! One RP Per Team! Referee: John X

ABSURDLY LARGE AMOUNTS OF PYRO GO OFF!!!

Lasers and fireworks and flame pots going off everywhere, and even a flyover from the New Hampshire Air National Guard including some parachuters who fall to the Earth shaped like a big XWF!

WOW!

What an amazing intro!

Cameras move from outside to see the skydivers to back indoors, where they center on “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane and his partner Bama T. at the announce desk at ringside


Vinnie Lane: “HEY HEY!!! We are LIVE in New Hampshire… where the locals say live free or DIE! We’re almost done with 2021, and folks, we are gonna make sure we have a BANGIN’ final regular show!”


Bama: “Tell ‘em what we got Vin-Man! Tell the people!”


Vinnie Lane: “Bama we’ve got Jason Cashe and Tommy Wish going to the X-Treme! We’ve got The brand new team-up of Thias Watts and Big Money Oswald, Money Titans, taking on Boots Lichter and O. Bay T-Law! A steel cage match between HGH and Lord Raab!”


Bama: “And you got ME putin’ that punk ass Elijah Martin into the dang EARTH, Vinnie, don’t forget that!”


Vinnie Lane: “Yeah, uh… that too. Oh, and did I mention two former Anarchy Champions, Vita Valenteen and Latina Submission Machina, in a SUBMISSION match? All that leading up to our main event with CENTRUBION up against John Caedus and Jax Hart! What a show!”


Bama: “It’s kickin’ with both feet, baby! Top to bottom action!”


Vinnie Lane: “Let’s get right to it, dude!”

Big Money Oswald & Thias Watts - vs - O Bay T. Law & Bartholomew "Boots" Lichter Tag Team Rules! One RP Per Team! Referee: HoloRef Dot Gif

O. Bay T-Law and "Boots" Lichter Step out from the back waving their nightsticks and warning the crowd what may happen if they refuse to OBEY THE LAW, which is, of course, met with a chorus of booing!


Vinnie Lane: "The crowd here in Durham sure don't seem to have much love for their protectors in blue!"


"Hell no, baby! Why should they? Cops don't do nothin' good for nobody!"


Vinnie Lane: "Everyone that says that only does so when they don't NEED a cop, Bama. The first time you're in trouble, I bet you change your tune!"


"What in the blue Hell are you talking about, baby!? I don't need any protection from nothin', I've got Sassafrass for THAT!"

The roof pops off of the place as Thias ducks his head under the base of the XTron and steps out onto the ramp. Shirtless and wearing only black jeans and black boots, Thias glares down to the ring, mean-mugging everyone.


Vinnie Lane: "Have you ever heard Thias Watts receive should a welcoming ovation!?"


"Black versus blue, baby! Who'd you THINK they'd cheer for!?"

His music hits, soon the ramp opens up and slowly Oswald begins to rise up next to Thais. His ornate cane planted in the platform, dressed to the nines like always. The crowd starts to chant


"MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! MAY-HEM! "


Once he was equal to the stage, he flung open his arms to form a " T", letting out a loud roar, before grinning as he steps forward, making his way as he slowly unbuttons his suit jacket, his tie, his dress shirt, and handing his clothes, and the cane, to one of his servants as it appears.


Vinnie Lane: "It looks as though Thais Watts and O. Bay T-Law are going to start things off!"


Bama: "Black on blue, baby! Here we go!"


Thias and T-Law stand in the ring, as the bell sounds. The two begin to circle each other for a moment, before locking up. Thias quickly locks T-Law up, shoving him towards his corner. T-Law tries pushing back, but can’t seem to force Thias out of his way. However, Boots fires off a wild punch that Thias slips, but it allows T-Law to escape before Thias can trap him. T-Law catches Thias from behind with a clubbing forearm! Thias falls into the corner! Boots grabs the back of his head and holds his face into the turnbuckle as T-Law hammers away from behind!


Vinnie Lane: "Who would have thought it!? Thias has found himself in trouble early on!"


Suddenly Thias explodes out of the corner, causing Boots to fall off the apron and T-Law to fly backward and land close to the ropes! No sooner does Thias turn to lay eyes on T-Law, does he roll under the ropes to the outside where he meets up with Boots and they talk strategy!


Bama: "You spoke too soon, baby!"


Thias backs into his corner, allowing T-Law to roll back into the ring. He heads over back towards his side of the ring and shares a few more words with Boots all the while watching Thias as he begins to smirk. Thias steps to the center of the ring and calls for T-Law to meet him there. T-Law does and connects with a Forearm Strike that stuns Thias. T-Law doesn’t waste time with another tie-up, he sends Thias to the ropes and connects with a Flapjack as Thias slams hard onto the mat. Thias brushes the offense off and gets back up to his feet, a bit annoyed by T-Law’s actions. T-Law looks on, smiling, as Thias charges towards him. T-Law drops to his stomach, causing Thias to leap over him and continue on to the other side of the ring. T-Law gets back up, and catches him on the rebound and uses his own momentum to slam the big man with a Hip Toss! Thias quickly pops back up to his feet, but T-Law catches him with an Arm Drag, sending him back towards his corner! T-Law stands tall, as Thias seems rather shocked and tags his partner into the match.


Vinnie Lane: "Oh great! What a treat! Ghost Tank!"


Bama: "You booked him, baby!"


Ozzy steps into the ring, the crowd anticipating a highly contested bout now that Ozzy is in this match. T-Law looks on, stepping backward as he heads to his corner and tags Boots in. The crowd boos, as Ozzy looks on in confusion. Boots wastes no time, charging towards Ozzy as he takes Ozzy down with a Headscissors, sending him scurrying across the ring.


Vinnie Lane: "Who would have thought that “Boots” Lichter would turn out to be so nimble on his feet!?"


Bama: "You booked him, baby!"


Ozzy soon recovers, flipping out of another Headscissors attempt as he lands on his feet! Ozzy tries for a High Knee, but Boots slips it. Ozzy attempts a German Suplex, but Boots is able to slip out of that as well! Ozzy turns, eating a High Roundhouse Kick from Boots that puts him down on the mat! He quickly covers Ozzy for the pin!





1!






KICKOUT!


Bama: "Ha! Nice try, but it’s gonna take more than that to put The Billion Dollar Man down, baby!"


Ozzy slaps the mat and storms to his feet! T-Law rushes him, but Oswald catches him with a big Spinebuster! Oswald jumps to his feet and roars for the crowd!


Vinnie Lane: "I think Oswald is making a mistake by not capitalizing here!"


Boots climbs through the middle rope, but HoloRef is on him quick and argues with him to return to the apron! While this is transpiring, Oswald makes his move on T-Law, lifting him from the mat by his hair, but T-Law was playing possum and comes to life with a big low blow to the Billion Dollar Jewels!


Bama: "Oh baby, my babies!"


Boots returns to the apron as T-Law scores the inside craddle! HoloRef instant transports to make the count!



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BROKEN UP!


Vinnie Lane: "Thias Watts with the save!"


Thias rips T-Law off of the mat and lifts him off of his feet with a double choke! T-Law struggles to break free as his face turns a deep shade of red! Suddenly Boots takes Thias off of his feet with a shoulder block to the back of his knee! HoloRef struggles to regain order in the match as the Law boys argue the merits of rules versus laws!


Bama: "Someone should tell them to stop flapping their gums and look back, baby!"


HoloRef over T-Law and Boots to Oswald who has managed to flank the two! T-Law and Boots seem to know they're in trouble as they shoot a quick glance at one another before slowly looking back to see...


Oswald reaches out, grabbing Boots and T-Law by the head and smashing their skulls together!


Vinnie Lane: "What a sickening sound that was!"


Bama: "Holow too, baby!"


T-Law and Boots explode in opposite directions and crash into the ring! HoloRef backs Oswald into his corner and finally begins the five count. (someone needs to update her software)


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Boots rolls out to the apron as T-Law returns to his unstable legs.


HoloRef signals for the match to continue. T-Law immediately tags out of the match, but instead of entering the ring, Boots drops to the floor and begins to argue with fans in the front row. Oswald and Thias look at each other, unhappy with how this match is unfolding. HoloRef begins the countout!




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6!!!!!! (told ya, fix that software Vinnie!)










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SUDDENLY THIAS GRABS BOOTS FROM BEHIND AND THROWS HIM BACK INTO THE RING TO A HUGE POP!

Oswald smiles wickedly as Boots scrambles to his feet! T-Law leaps off of the apron with a double axehandle, but he lands right into Thias' waiting arms!


Vinnie Lane: "Things are quickly going from bad to worse for these two!"


Oswald rushes in, grabbing Boots waist and swinging behind him, lifting him up and running towards the corner where he steps up to the top in two steps and flies off with a 3frigging60 German suplex!


Bama: "The Holy Hand Of God! It's fucking beautiful, baby!"


As Thias picks up T-Law to slam him, spine first into the corner post, T-Law slips out and puts Thias's head into the ring post instead.


Oswald rolls through with a bridging pin!


Bama: "This could be it, baby!"



1!


Vinnie Lane: "I don't think so!"


T-Law slides into the ring and rushes to break the pin!



2!!





T-Law dives in with an elbow to Ozzy's midsection, breaking the pin attempt!


Boots lays the boots to Oswald, keeping him pinning to the mat as T-Law regains his composer. Before long T-Law jumps in on the fun as HoloRef begins the five-count the two men peel Oswald up from the mat and drop him with a double suplex!


Boots heads back to his corner to tag T-Law back into the match.


Vinnie Lane: "Boots tags the fresher man into the match!"


T-Law steps over, kicking Ozzy in the back of his head as he tries to get up. T-Law wastes no time in playing around, picking Ozzy up and dropping him with a Snap Suplex. Ozzy cracks his neck as he gets back up, and charges towards T-Law! He takes T-Law down with a Shoulder Tackle, sending T-Law to the outside! Ozzy slides right out of the ring, looking to capitalize on this moment, but T-Law has already recovered. He clobbers Ozzy with an elbow, and slides back into the ring. T-Law runs to the other side of the ring to gain momentum as he runs back towards Ozzy. He returns to the side he entered, and DIVES TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A SUICIDE DIVE! Both men go crashing to the ground, as Thias and Boots look on from the apron!


Vinnie Lane: "The action has spilled over to the outside!"


T-Law lays on the outside, while Ozzy leans against the barricade. Both men begin to stir, as they get to their feet at the same time. Ozzy doesn’t want to waste any time spent on the outside, hitting T-Law with an elbow of his own. He grabs T-Law and tosses him back into the ring. T-Law quickly shoots across the ring, tagging in Boots just as Ozzy is able to slide back into the ring. Ozzy tries to get up to his feet quickly, but eats a Running Kick from Boots! Ozzy stumbles forwards, allowing Boots to quickly connect with a Superkick! Boots again covers him for the pin.



1!









KICKOUT!


Oswald manages to kick out early, but is obviously still a little loopy from the kick! Boots peels him up from the mat and whips him into his corner where T-Law is waiting. Boots tags in T-Law and the two men work together to stomp Oswald into the corner! Boots heads back to the apron as T-Law taunts Thias! Thias steps over the top, but HoloRef quickly blocks his path and orders him back to the apron. While she's distracted, Boots grabs Ozzy through the ropes with a blatant choke! Thias tries to get HoloRef to look, but she's more focused on keeping Thias in order!


Vinnie Lane: "These guys may look like cops, but they're willing to break every rule in the book as long as it suits them!


Bama: "HA! Maybe they ARE cops, baby!"


Thias backs down and returns to the apron. Boots releases the choke just before HoloRef could have caught him. T-Law rushes in and pulls Ozzy to his feet and whips him into the opposite corner, trailing just behind with a big clothesline in the corner! Ozwald stumbles out as T-Law looks to capitalize! T-Law hooks Ozzy's head under his arm and attempts a suplex, but Ozzy blocks it! T-Law digs deep and tries again, but Oswald blocks it again! Ozzy then comes to life, grabbing T-Laws tights and hooking his head tightly, Ozwald snaps back with a suplex of his own! T-Law hits hard and bounces a few feet for it! Oswald struggles to push up, that move seemingly taking a lot out of him!


Vinnie Lane: "Girthy desperately needs to make a tag to Long… or is it the other way around?!"


T-Law regains a vertical base and turns his sights to Oswald, but at the last second, Ozzy leaps and connects with a desperation tag to Thias Watts!"


Bama: "I don't think T-Law is ready for THIS, baby!"


Thias steps over the top rope and slowly walks towards T-Law, backing him into his own corner where he quickly makes the tag to Boots, who doesn't look too pleased with his current situation!


Vinnie Lane: "O. Bay T-Law doesn't seem to want anything to do with the monstrous Thias Watts!


Bama: "Judging by the look on his face, neither does Bartholomew, baby!"


Thias doesn't afford Boots much time to work up the courage to enter the ring before grabbing him by the head with both hands and slinging Boots over the top rope and into the ring! Boot's jumps to his feet quickly, but runs right into a Big Boot from Thias! T-Law sneaks into the ring and attacks Thias from behind with a clubbing forearm, but Thias doesn't sell it at all, and turns around looking pissed! T-Law backs away, but Thias reaches out and grabs him by the throat! T-Law spazzes, trying desperately to get away to no avail! Suddenly Boots flies in with a chop block to the back of Thias's knee! Thias releases T-Law who backs away gasping for breath as Boots continues the assault!


Boots looks to hang Watts' leg over the bottom rope, and when he does so he gets in position to jump up and down off the bottom rope himself onto the knee...


BUT BIG MONEY CATCHES HIM FROM THE OUTSIDE WITH A CHOKE!





CHOKE SLAM FROM THE APRON TO BOOTS LICHTER!!!




O. Bay T-Law runs around the ring to pull Ozzy down, and OH MY GOD!!! A GIGANTIC MOONSAULT FROM A GIGANTIC MAN!!!



Vinnie Lane: "Big Money Oswald just did a full backflip off the apron like it was nothing, dude!"


Bama T.: "Beautiful! Like Greg Louganis in 1988!"




Thias Watts limps to a vertical base and sees Boots crawling on all fours...











GOT SLEPT!!!!



Watts flattens Lichter with the stomp and then rolls him onto his back!



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3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - The Money Titans

Vinnie Lane: "What a showing by these two big boys! Who the heck can stand up to a team of that pure size??"

Elijah Martin - vs - Bama T. No Holds Barred Grudge Match! Bama INSISTED he get a chance to fight Elijah Martin after the events leading up to Bad Medicine! Referee: Chaz Bobo

Vinnie Lane: “Folks, I tried to talk Bama out of this, but he wasn’t having it. Now, I know the man played ball in college and is allegedly tough as nails… but Elijah Martin is a champion-caliber wrestler in his prime. I’m just hoping my buddy doesn’t get hurt out there.”





Bama T. walks out from the back with his little buddy Sassafras the chihuahua in his hands. He looks ready for war! Bama, I mean. Sassy just looks adorable in his little biker helmet.





Look at the little guy. So cute.

Anyway - Bama gets to the announce table where he hands Sass off to Vinnie before heading to the ring, slapping a few hands with fans, and he looks determined to exact some revenge on the man who laid hands on his dog.


Vinnie Lane: “Bama was a highly recruited fullback in Alabama… back in the 80s. Man they don’t even use fullbacks anymore!”







The lights on the entrance way go dark as "Blueprint 2" by Jay-Z begins... as the song reaches the 21-second mark and the beat drops, an explosion is heard and the stage lighting comes back up, revealing Elijah Martin standing at the top of the entrance way. After about ten seconds of standing still to take in the crowd in the arena, Martin casually makes his way to the ring, yelling some random things at the crowd on the way.

He walks around to the hard cam side of the ring and hops onto the apron towards the end of the first verse of the song. When the song transitions into the chorus with the beat drop at the 1:25 mark, Martin raises both arms in the air and yells "I'M THE KING, MOTHAFUCKAS!" After a couple of seconds taking in the mix of cheers and boos, Martin steps into the ring and just paces around a couple of times before stopping at his corner and taking an ass bump to sit against the bottom turnbuckle.


Vinnie Lane: “Looooooooooooooooootta N words in that song.”


Chaz Bobo checks on Bama one last time to make sure the man is serious about going toe to toe with no holds barred against an XWF talent in his prime.

Bama nods and Bobo calls for the bell, and Bama runs across the ring! Bama actually surprises Martin with a jab before looking for a big looping right hook… but then he eats a kick to the gut!


PROLOGUE!!!


Elijah Martin plants Bama T. with the big DDT, leaving him on his face in the ring with a string of saliva hanging out of his mouth. Elijah sits next to Bama and laughs, wiping his hands together as if it’s already over.


Vinnie Lane: “Bama went in hot but he didn’t protect his undercarriage. This is the sort of stuff performers rely on. You need more than instinct, more than desire, to beat someone of this caliber! You need skill!”


Elijah could end the match now but chooses to mug for the cameras by walking around the ring with a smarmy look on his face. He starts kicking at the prone body of Bama, then shoves him using his feet until he gets the big guy to roll over to the side of the ring.

Elijah Martin grabs the top rope and kneels down onto Bama, really sinking his weight down onto him. He leans in and slaps Bama hard in the face, then uses his knees to shove Bama out under the bottom rope, where he lands with a thud.

Martin climbs out onto the apron and waits while Bama pulls himself up off the concrete… and then leaps off with a flying knee shot that sends Bama slamming into the guard rail!

Elijah follows Bama out and slams his head into the railing. Bama staggers toward the ramp and Martin follows, pulling one section of railing free from the rest and holding it over his head… AND HE THROWS IT INTO THE BACK OF BAMA’S SKULL!


Vinnie Lane: “Dear God! Bama is going to get CTE by the end of this match!”


Martin keeps pouring the heat on Bama. He kicks his leg out from under him when he tries to stand up, and then flattens him with a running lariat that spikes his head off the floor like a football in the endzone.

Martin leans over the barricade and shoves a fan out of their seat, then grabs the chair and folds it up flat… then he SLAMS it down onto Bama’s head as Bama gets to his hands and knees. The chair wraps around Bama’s head, knocking him flat on his face.

Martin pulls Bama up by the back of his tee shirt and the waist of his pants, then tosses him further up the ramp until he is right up by the AnarchoTron. Elijah then starts to scale the girders around the Tron until he is sitting on top of it.


Vinnie Lane: “This doesn’t look safe… OSHA is going to have a field day with this…”


Elijah stands on top of the Tron, and he leaps off with a huge elbow drop!




BAMA ROLLS AWAY!!!



Martin crashes onto the stage hard, bending the flooring. Bama slowly rises to a vertical base with his nostrils flaring in anger. He yanks Elijah up and starts popping him with body shots to the ribs.

Elijah, still in pain from his huge fall, just tries to get some distance between himself and Bama, and he ducks back into the entryway to the backstage area. XWF camera crew race to follow, and they get back there just in time to see Bama tossing a big coffee jug into Elijah’s head!

Elijah stumbles down a hallway past a buffet table, and Bama follows right behind, grabbing mustard and ketchup bottles and squirting them onto Elijah’s back as he heads away. Bama grabs a chicken leg and takes a big bite of it before chucking it into the back of Elijah’s head.


Vinnie Lane: “Good thing Bama was hungry, that could have really hurt!”


Bama charges Martin to put him through a door, but Martin steps aside. Bama crashes into the door to a men’s room and looks like he tweaked his shoulder. Martin then SPEARS Bama right through the door!

The door splinters and both men end up on the tile floor of the arena’s mens room. Elijah straddles Bama and starts hammering him with repeated rights, then pulls him up by the hair and slams Bama face first into a urinal, breaking it right off the wall.

Porcelain pieces fall all over the floor as water spurts out from the newly exposed plumbing, and Bama is sent sprawling and slipping on the wet spots while grabbing at his bloody face.


Vinnie Lane: “I’ll just go ahead and send UNH some money on Venmo right now…”


Bama heads out of the bathroom and tries to recover by heading further up a hallway, but Elijah is right behind him. Bama jumps into an elevator and starts pressing the DOOR CLOSE button fiercely, but to no avail. Elijah follows him into the elevator and starts bashing Bama into the wall of the car as the doors close.

The cameramen check and see that the elevator is going up, so they race up the stairwell to the second floor and wait at the elevator just as it dings. The doors open once more and we see that Elijah is STILL bashing Bama’s head into the wall of the elevator car.

Bama collapses into the hall as Elijah lets him go. He then sees an office door nearby.


Vinnie Lane: “Hey wait! That’s the temporary office space the arena lent out to me! My priceless T-Rex skull is in there! I take it to every show for luck!”


Vinnie hops up from his desk and runs toward the back, dropping his headset on the table.

Back in the back, we see that Elijah has kicked open the door to Vinnie’s temporary office, which is decorated in leopard and tiger print faux fur surrounding a hot pink desk with a pink zebra striped blotter in the middle.

Elijah takes a moment to take in the garish decor and shakes his head, then scoops Bama up and slams him on top of the desk. He then looks up at the wall and sees the glorious Tyrannosaurus Rex skull affixed to it - Vinnie’s prized possession and good luck charm!





Elijah smiles, and immediately climbs onto the desk so he can reach for the big skull - then he starts pulling it from the wall!


Vinnie Lane: “Dude stop! NO!”


Elijah: “Hey there boss man! You’re just in time!”


Vinnie tries to rush into the room but before he can stop him, Martin has pulled the skull from the wall and slammed it down across the chest of Bama T.!


Vinnie Lane: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”


Elijah then lays across Bama as Chaz Bobo finally shows up with some Dippin’ Dots (oh so THAT’S where he went!)




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3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Elijah Martin

After the referee calls for the bell, Elijah locks eyes with Vinnie Lane, who is standing about ten paces away from him with a black zipper portfolio in his right hand. Martin slowly moves away from the prone body of Bama T and now walks up to Vinnie Lane, just inches separating the two men.

Elijah: I know for a fact you saw what happened at Bad Medicine… you know that my loss was bullshit, and I know the last thing you want is a tainted champion leading your show.

He glances down and sees the portfolio in Lane’s hand. Elijah slowly reaches across with his right hand and takes the portfolio out of Vinnie’s hand. Both men continue staring at each other for a few moments, until Martin unzips the portfolio and opens it to reveal a template XWF match contract.

Elijah: Well shit, look what we have here… now what could I possibly want to do with this?!

Martin is letting his sarcasm shine for a few moments as he “ponders” by tapping the pen that was clipped to the inside of the front cover against his chin, before writing the following on the front page that is blank aside from an XWF logo along the top header…
“Centurion v Elijah Martin - Anarchy Championship rematch”

Martin puts the pen back where it was, zips the portfolio back up and jams it into the chest of Vinnie Lane.

Elijah: Give me not just what I deserve, but what YOUR SHOW deserves… a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

Martin goes around and walks away from Vinnie, who looks down at the portfolio in his hands and looks a bit stunned at what just happened.

Anarchy goes to commercial…

Tommy Wish - vs - Jason Cashe X-Treme Rules! Referee: Virginia Hymen

Vinnie Lane: ”Bodaceous! We’re rolling into our third match of the night… Tommy Wish of the T.H.U.G.S. is taking on Jason Cashe, one-half of the Former OCW Tag Champs that won their debut match at Bad Medicine. We… uh… Bama, you doing okay?”


Bama: "Viddie, I fink mah node hot butted.”


Vinnie Lane: ”Exsqueeze me, my dude?”


Bama: ”My node. I fink Elibah bwoke mah node.”


Vinnie Lane: ”Hold that thought, bro-ham. Your face is looking a little gnarly, lemme just…”


Bama: ”I don fink dats a goo-*snap*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”


Vinnie Lane: ”That’s better. Now, what were you saying, dude?”


Bama: ”...Never you mind. Much better, Thank ya kindly.”

The lights start flickering in the arena, and we see smoke blowing out from the stage. We see Tommy Wish coming out in a light jacket with the hoodie on his head. He lifts a kendo stick in the air at the top of the stage. Then he walks down to the ramp, giving fist bumps to all the fans as he's walking down. Then he slides into the ring, and stands in the middle of the ring poses to the crowd as his theme fades off. He rotates the kendo stick once in his grip.


Vinnie Lane: ”Coming first to the ring, we’ve got Tommy Wish of the T.H.UG.S! They just opened a new office and, if I understand their latest press conference, they’re looking for new members? That sound right, Bama?”


Bama: ”Don’t ask me. I can’t understand half the words that come out of the T.H.U.G.S.’ mouths. And the other half make me think they oughta have those mouths washed out with soap.”

The hymn-like hum vibrates through the area before Lauren Hill soundfully brings in the chorus. Jason Cashe comes out from the back, eyes covered in sunglasses. Looking around the arena at the live audience, his eyes stay hidden behind the shades. Taking a long drag off an air joint, Cashe howls up into the sky, a few fans howl with him..

Tig O'Bitties: "From Houston, Tejas by way of Decatur, Georgia.. A truly Troubled One they call DiOGee.. Jaaaassoooon! CAAAASHE!!"

Stopping as the aisle turns to ringside, Cashe drags a foot creating an imaginary line. This is the line where when passed, the talking stops. He steps into a jog, leaping up on the apron onto his left knee. He stands, ducking under the top rope to enter the ring. Taking off the sunglasses as he enters, he rushes across the ring and launches them deep into the crowd. Growling a roar to the live audience, showing he was ready to scrap.


Vinnie Lane: ”One-half of the first team to beat Them No Good Bastards in over half a year… Jason Cashe is looking ready to roll!”


Bama: ”Ugh.”


Vinnie Lane: ”What’s up, Bama?”


Bama: ”Cashe and Tommy are both hoodlums! Cashe literally just got bailed out of jail after brawl outside a strip club by Theo Pryce! And Tommy keeps breaking into the locker room to sniff women’s shoes…”


Vinnie Lane: ”Yeah, both these guys walk to the beat of a different drummer!”


Bama: ”God dammit, who do I root for? I’m a fuckin’ American. I just want someone to root for that reads their bible before they tithe 10% down a stripper’s g-string.”

Cashe hits the ring, marching round the squared circle, talking shit, amping the crowd up. Finally, he slides under the ropes and stops in his corner.

Virginia Hymen steps in between the two and points her hand to the timekeeper!

The bell rings!

DING! DING! DING!!!

Wish cuts a step inside to swing with his kendo stick… But Cashe steps up as well as slap-boxes Wish straight across the face! Damage is minimal, but Wish is a little shook!


Vinnie Lane: ”Big slap from Cashe!”


Bama: ”Tommy Wish has been slapped many times, but I don’t know if it’s ever happened in the ring before…”

Before Wish can come to terms with it, Cashe catches him with another two big bear-paws to the jaw… Wish backpedals into the corner.


Vinnie Lane: ”Cashe is using his strikes to drive back Wish… ”


Cashe’s hands surge forward and clap Wish on both sides of his head and he slips backwards into the corner!

Bama: ”Big earclap from Cashe!”

Wish stumbles down to his feet, leaning back on the middle turnbuckle… Cashe stays on top of his opponent, grabbing him by the skull and delivering a couple knee-lifts to the face.


Vinnie Lane: ”Whoa! Tommy is having a real hard time getting out of the starting block here!”


Bama: ”Cashe has established he’s an excellent striker! He got in-close to prevent Tommy from swinging for the fences and has kept it close quarters ever since!”

Tommy drops down to the bottom turnbuckle… Cashe backs up to the middle of the ring!


Vinnie Lane: ”Dude! We might see a big cannonball!”


Cashe sprints! He rolls! Tommy goes under the bottom rope to the floor and Cashe takes barely-cushioned metal to the spine!

Bama: ”Tommy dodges and Cashe pays for it!”


Vinnie Lane: ”That’s why it’s called a high-risk maneuver, my dude!”


As Cashe tries to re-get his bearings upside down, Tommy slides back, kendo stick still in hand.

Before Cashe can untangle himself, Tommy presses his legs back against the ropes and pushes Cashe into Tree of Woe position.

Cashe is stuck as Tommy winds up…

KERACK!

The sickening whap of kendo stick on abdominals… A second one! A third!


Vinnie Lane: ”Tommy Wish auditioning for the home-run derby, cuz every one of these strikes, he’s swinging for beyond the fences!”


Cashe is famously durable. He takes the first few strikes, beating his chest for more…

Four! Five!


By the sixth strike, he’s looking a little more wary…

Tommy backs up to the middle of the ring… And delivering a running baseball slide to Cashe’s skull! The strike finally untangles Cashe out of the ropes and he drops facedown on the mat.

Wish quickly flips him onto his back and hooks the leg!




1!










NOPE! Cashe forces a shoulder up quick!


Vinnie Lane: ”Outrageous! Most dudes wait until 2 to kickout, let’s them get a split-second of R &R… Cashe kicks out at 1!”


”Cashe showing he got a lot more tough cells than he got brain cells!”

Cashe is already sitting up, shaking off cobwebs. Wish drops the kendo stick in the corner and grabs Cashe by the top of the head, delivering a STIFF uppercut to Cashe’s chin. Cashe staggers backwards into the ropes… He leans forward, but Tommy puts his weight against Cashe, holding him against the ropes…

Bama: ”Tommy ain’t always the sharpest stiletto in the shoestore, but he knows he’s got a 100 pound weight advantage on Jason Cashe! Very wise of him to use it!”

Tommy sticks a finger to his lips to silence the crowd.

The crowd goes silent…



…



Cashe braces himself…



…



Tommy reels back his arm…



…



SM-M-AAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

HELLACIOUS knife-edge chop to the chest! The absolutely revolting thud of flesh on chest echoes in the ring…

Cashe doubles-over, that one might have knocked his lunch loose… He’s not the only one either, some guy in the second row covers his mouth, queasy.

Tommy tries to lift Cashe’s head up, to open his chest for another chop…

But suddenly, Cashe latches onto Tommy’s head and switches spots with him. He uses his strength to drive Tommy against the ropes…

He shushes the crowd now…


…


…


Cashe reels back his arm, winding up…


…


…


SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

A dis-GUSTING open palm slap to Tommy’s chest, leaves a visible red handprint between Wish’s pecs…

Wish doubles over the ropes, from sheer pain… And Cashe stays ontop of him, grabbing him by the ankle and tossing him over the ropes!

Tommy lands on his shoulder with a thud outside the ring!


Vinnie Lane: ”In any other setting, Tommy would have to start working his way back in the ring, dude! But it’s X-Treme Rules! Falls count anywhere!”


Tommy’s no slouch, though and starts working his way back to his feet…

Just in time for Cashe to start running to the ropes… He hits them and keeps running back towards Tommy!


Tommy is back upright just in time for Cashe to somersault through the ropes!

HUGE CANNONBALL TO THE OUTSIDE!

Wish is down! Cashe stays ontop of his collapsed opponent, leaning backwards…



…



But, Virginia Hymen is stepping cautiously through the ropes and trying to gingerly lower herself to the floor.


Vinnie Lane: ”Oh man, dude. Virginia’s out here in heels! Not conducive to a falls count anywhere environment where you gotta follow the action wherever it goes.”


Bama: ”God-damn! Why would any official wear heels?!?”

Virginia eventually eases way to the padding outside, where she drops to count!



1!























2!!










NO! Tommy Wish gets the shoulder up!

As Wish starts forcing himself to his feet again, Cashe stays on top of his opponent, picking him up by the scruff of his neck…

Cashe latches onto his opponent’s arm, looking to Irish whip him into the steel steps…

He launches Tommy forward…

But Tommy reverses it, sending Cashe over through brute strength!

Cashe runs and hits the steel steps, doing a full flip over them as he goes, and ending up on the other side of the steel…


Vinnie Lane: ”Most gnarly!”


Tommy follows his fallen opponent, stepping around the corner…

Cashe slowly, shakily finds his way to his feet, just as Tommy takes his back, ducking his head under Cashe’s shoulder!

Wish lifts!

Bama: ”Hot damn! This is gonna hurt!”

And delivers a devastating back suplex onto that thinly-padded concrete! Cashe gets dumped straight onto his upper back!

Wish rolls backwards, surprisingly agile, over Cashe and into the cover! Hymen, already outside the ring, hops over and drops into a cover!



1!















2!!




















THR-NO! At the last second, Cashe forces the shoulder up!


Vinnie Lane: ”Mondo impresivo toughness from Jason Cashe here!”


Wish sits up, looking a little frustrated that didn’t end the match. Cashe is stirring very slowly, definitely worse for wear after that devastating back suplex outside the ring…

Wish grabs Cashe by the neck and lifts him to his feet, heaving him back inside the ring under the bottom rope…

Cashe rolls back to the center of the ring. Wish rolls in under him… And Virginia walks up the steps, only losing her footing once or twice, and manages to duck under the middle rope to enter the ring.


Vinnie Lane: ”Tommy signals for the HideYaFace! This one could be done-zo, yo!”


Wish heaves Cashe up to his feet… and puts him in a front facelock…

Wait! Cashe shifts his grip around Wish’s neck and back and… HOLY SHIT! Lifts Wish into a huge exploder suplex!

Bama: ”Jumpin' Jehoshaphat! Tommy is a big boy, fed on a lifetime of grits and gravy! Incredible strength by Jason Cashe!”

Cashe stays ontop of Wish, exhausted. Hymen drops to count!





1!

















2!!

























THRE-NO SIR! Wish rolls onto his front, breaking the three count!


Vinnie Lane: ”Righteous! Very smart play by Wish there! Cashe was not applying a lot of downward force on that pin, and Tommy minimized energy expended by rolling instead of forcing a shoulder up!”


After a few seconds of both competitors lying down on the mat, Virginia starts the 10 count!

1!



2!



3!



4!



5!



Wish and Cashe both very shakily rise, gripping onto each other…



6!



7!



Eventually they climb and both make it back to their feet!



Tommy delivers a forearm smash to Cashe’s forehead! Cashe reels back but keeps his footing.


Cashe retaliates with a huge headbutt to Wish! Wish gets caught right in the eye socket and reels backwards… But also keeps his footing!

Bama: ”Dagnabbit, these two sons-of-bitches are tough-as-nails!”

Wish winds back his arm and delivers another chop across the chest to slow Cashe down!

Cashe slips backwards a couple steps, bouncing off the ropes! And comes in HARD with a shoulder charge!

Wish braces himself! And Cashe bounces off and backwards onto his ass!


Vinnie Lane: ”Very gutsy move by Cashe to shoulder block such a massive opponent!”


Bama: ”Gutsy or stupid!”

Before Cashe can get back to a vertical base, Tommy delivers a running boot to the face!

Cashe drops back-first onto the mat and Tommy slips into another cover!



1!
















2!!

















THRE-NO DICE! Cashe forces his shoulder off the mat!

Tommy is clearly getting frustrated here… He yanks Cashe back to his feet… Once again securing that front-facelock…

Tommy lifts Ca… No, Cashe slips out of Tommy’s grip and behind him! Schoolboy pin! And Cashe has a handful of tights!



1!





















2!





















THR-NO! Tommy kicks up and out!

Tommy tries to climb back to his feet, but not before Cashe is up and running! He bounces off the ropes and…

LEAPING HEADBUTT TO Wish’s face! Wish backs up into the ropes, draping his face over the side…

Cashe runs again and hits the ropes near the lefthand corner and…

“Mark of Jason”! Huge running elbow hook to the side of Wish’s head! Tommy might be out on his feet here!

Cashe grabs Tommy by the face and pushes him onto his back, dropping into the cover!



1!















2!!




















3!!!

Winner by Pinfall - Jason Cashe

Tommy throws up a shoulder just a little after the three count… But that makes all the difference in the world in terms of who takes the W.


Vinnie Lane: ”What a radically physical fight between Cashe and Wish! Two tough hombres who did not let-up on each other for one second! Very impressive showing by both men, but this time, the win goes to Jason Cashe!”

HGH - vs - Lord Raab Steel Cage Match! Referee: Mr. Referee

Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system as Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his green and black wrestling trousers with his nickname The Green Disease German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and green mask and ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and crouches down in the corner moving backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands and moving his neck around while looking up at the cage above him with anger in his eyes while waiting for the match to start.


Vinnie Lane: "Lord Raab has made it known that he hates wrestlers like Harmon! Raab has been looking forward to this match all week. "


Bama: "Uh, Vinnie, what’s that weird German guy doing now?"


Vinnie Lane: "Oh…he’s, uh…"


Lord Raab has pulled a gallon-sized plastic bag out from his boots. Inside the bag a disgusting slime can be seen. Raab grins wickedly as he unzips the bag and starts grabbing handfuls of the slime and spreading it all around his body.


Vinnie Lane: "Doing German things."


Bama: "Remind me to opt out of Anarchy’s European tour…"

HGH’s theme music hits and he begins to walk down the entrance ramp. He pauses briefly as he looks up at the steel cage waiting to be lowered down onto the ring. He looks down at Lord Raab who is still covering himself in slime. HGH shakes his head from side to side as he snaps in annoyance at a nearby screaming fan.

Bama: "Harmon has been on a real roll lately! In the short time that he’s been a mainstay on Anarchy he has already made a name for himself with several impressive victories!"


Vinnie Lane: "He sure has, but his biggest challenge yet might just be trapped in a cage with him tonight!"


HGH walks towards the ring and up the steel steps. He gags briefly as the smell of Raab’s slime hits his nostrils. HGH shakes off the smell and steps into the ring with a clear look of disgust on his face. Lord Raab starts to growl at him from across the ring as Mr. Referee calls for the steel cage to be lowered onto the ring.

Bama: "I still can’t believe you signed a puppet as a referee."


Vinnie Lane: "Mr. Referee is both sentient AND reliable! He never misses a show!"


Bama: "That’s because he travels with the stage crew’s equipment!"

HGH looks ready to be done with this already as the steel cage is secured in place around the wrestling ring by a variety of ringside assistants. Lord Raab is crouching down while holding onto the middle rope near the opposite corner of the ring- as if he is just waiting for the go ahead to charge across the ring at full force.

Bama: "Look at these absolute behemoths in the ring! I know one thing: I wouldn’t want to be trapped in there with those massive beefcakes!"


Vinnie Lane: "Behemoths indeed, Bama! Lord Raab is The Green Disease German Monster, and monster is exactly the right word to describe this guy! He’s six feet four inches tall, 260 pounds on the scale, and he has TONS of bad karma! But not to be outdone, Harmon Greyson Hays stands at six feet-five inches tall and he weighs almost 290 pounds! Harmon’s from Buffalo and he's almost as big as a Buffalo!"


Bama: "WOW! These are two of the biggest guys we have on Anarchy! This match is going to be a bruiser!"

The ringside assistants leave the area as the cage is fully secured. HGH and Lord Raab stare each other down from across the ring before Mr. Referee calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!!!

Lord Raab shoots out of his corner like a bat out of hell! Like a bullet from a gun Raab crosses the whole ring in just moments, slamming his shoulder right into HGH’s midsection! Raab presses HGH against the turnbuckle before delivering another shoulder to the abdomen! HGH releases a large gust of air as the wind is knocked from his belly. Lord Raab leans back to deliver another shoulder blow but HGH has the good sense to grab the sides of the cage and pull his body up and to safety! Raab’s shoulder collides with nothing but the turnbuckle post!

Vinnie Lane: "Quick thinking by Harmon!"


Bama: "Look, he’s making a break for it already!"

HGH seizes the opportunity and starts trying to climb up the side of the cage near the turnbuckle. He gets halfway up the cage before Lord Raab grabs him by the ankle and flings him back down to the mat. HGH’s body lands in the ring with a loud THUD before he starts rolling around on the ground and clutching his lower back.


Vinnie Lane: "OOFT! That was a rough fall!"


Bama: "He needs to get to his feet or else this will get a whole lot rougher!"

Lord Raab begins circling HGH as Harmon rolls around on the ground in pain. As Lord Raab steps around the ring it is clear that he is leaving a small slime trail with every step he takes…but he doesn’t seem to mind. Suddenly, Lord Raab pauses as he stands directly next to HGH’s head….then Lord Raab drops his right knee onto HGH’s temple! HGH screams as blood immediately begins squirting all over his face!

Bama: "That’s brutal!"


Vinnie Lane: "I think there’s more where that came from, dude!"


Lord Raab quickly rises back to his feet only to deliver another falling knee to HGH’s dome! HGH howls again before he starts rolling towards the other side of the ring. Lord Raab snarls before smiling. He shouts profanities at HGH as he begins following him across the ring. HGH’s blood and Raab’s slime begin mixing in quite a disgusting way on the mat as Raab closes the gap to Harmon.

HGH rolls into a corner before hurriedly trying to pull himself up to his feet with the assistance of the ropes. HGH rises to his feet only to get slumped by a stiff right hand from Lord Raab. HGH is forced to lean back against the turnbuckle and Lord Raab is quick to start working his cornered opponent. Three vicious chops redden HGH’s chest before Raab finishes the combination with a cracking headbutt that echoes throughout the arena. HGH looks like he is going to fall to the mat, but instead Lord Raab grabs him by the upper body and irish whips Harmon into the opposite corner! Harmon’s body flies against the turnbuckle before falling into a seated position in the corner.


Vinnie Lane: "This has not been Harmon’s night! He’s going to need to turn this around!"


Bama: "I’m not sure what HGH can do now, Lord Raab has given himself a huge advantage and he’s pressing it! I don’t think Harmon was ready for the amount of hatred and vitriol that Raab came into this match with!"

Lord Raab grins at Harmon from across the ring. Then, Lord Raab charges over to Harmon’s corner!.........but Lord Raab slips on the blood and slime mixture coating the mat! He trips and starts falling into the corner face first….HGH raises his boot….and Lord Raab falls face first into it! Raab rolls around on the mat and starts covering his eyes!

Bama: "What a crazy turn of events! Quick thinking by HGH!"


Vinnie Lane: "He’s evened the odds…now let’s see if he can turn the tide in his favor!"


HGH slowly but surely pulls himself up to his feet with the assistance of the ropes. Meanwhile, Lord Raab is still covering his left eye but he is using his free hand to pull himself back to a standing position.

Bama: "Lord Raab and Harmon Greyson Hays both look like they’re winded! They’re moving slow and breathing heavy!"


Vinnie Lane: "It takes a lot of energy to dish out the kind of punishment Raab has done tonight…and it takes a lot of energy to absorb it, too! Somehow HGH is still standing even after Raab has unloaded his arsenal on him- this match has ‘instant classic’ written all over it!"


HGH and Lord Raab stare each other down from across the ring in dramatic fashion. The crowd is going absolutely crazy with half the audience booing Lord Raab and half the audience booing HGH. Lord Raab slowly uncovers his left eye and it is bleeding tremendously. It looks like the bone around his eye socket has been partially caved in.

Bama: "GROSS! All that from one nasty fall?!"


Vinnie Lane: "That’s a lot of damage to take from falling on a leather boot! Hey, wait a minute….you don’t think HGH puts steel toes in his boots, do you?"


Bama: "That sounds like exactly the kind of genius strategy that Harmon would employ!"

Harmon Greyson Hays grins at Lord Raab. The Green Disease German Monster sneers back at HGH. The puppet referee looks on absentmindedly. HGH gestures for Lord Raab to ‘bring it’.

Lord Raab obliges him!

Raab charges at HGH and the pair immediately lock up! Lord Raab is able to push HGH a few steps back at first, but HGH quickly starts holding his ground! A standstill arises momentarily before HGH is finally able to push Lord Raab back one step….then another, then another!

The tie up is cut abruptly short when Lord Raab decides to unleash a series of repeated headbutts that force HGH to let go and stumble backwards! Lord Raab follows up with an uppercut that sends HGH back towards the ropes! HGH comes off the ropes only to be caught by Lord Raab and lifted up into the air with a bear hug!

A few seconds of struggle go by. Lord Raab holds HGH tightly as Harmon kicks out with his feet and struggles to breathe.


Vinnie Lane: "Raab is squeezing the life out of Harmon!"


HGH’s face starts to change colors as the air is squeezed from his lungs. A few more seconds tick by before HGH decides to rake Raab’s eyes and force him to let go of the hold! Raab stumbles backwards as he clutches his already injured left eye.

Bama: "More quick thinking from HGH! He’s becoming a real pro’s pro in the ring!"


Vinnie Lane: "Quick thinking? More like cheating!"


HGH follows up the eye rake with an impressive dropkick that sends Lord Raab into the corner! HGH eyes Lord Raab who is pressed out against the turnbuckle, then he looks up at the walls of the cage. Harmon decides to make a break for it! He starts ascending the cage but it’s not long before he runs into trouble! After all that close contact with Lord Raab, the slime has gotten onto HGH’s hands and feet. He’s now having trouble finding solid footing as he tries to pull himself up the walls of the cage!

Lord Raab begins to stir as HGH finds himself only partially up the cage. Lord Raab saunters over to the unwitting HGH who is still struggling to pull himself up the steel partition. As HGH struggles to climb Raab positions himself beneath Harmon. Raab reaches up with his back to the cage and grabs HGH by his axillas (armpits). Panic flashes across HGH’s face as he feels Raab’s strong hands grip him. HGH tries to cling to the cage but it’s no use- Lord Raab lifts him off the side of the cage and into the air with a modified crucifix powerbomb! Lord Raab runs across the ring before slamming HGH down to the mat! Harmon’s body folds like laundry as he crashes back down to the mat!

Bama: "THAT SHOOK THE ENTIRE RING! THAT POWERBOMB SHOOK ALL FOUR WALLS OF THE CAGE!"


Vinnie Lane: "The cage walls are STILL SHAKING after that innovative crucifix powerbomb!"


Lord Raab and HGH lay on the ground for a few moments before Raab shoots up into a seated position. He looks at HGH with a devilish grin before he picks himself up to his feet. He walks over to his folded opponent and rolls him to his back before placing a boot on HGH’s chest.


Vinnie Lane: "A cocky pinfall attempt here by Lord Raab!"


Bama: "Well just look at HGH, Vinnie! He’s bloody, he’s bruised, he’s battered- I’m not sure he can kick out of any pin right now!"

Lord Raab holds his boot on HGH’s chest for a half dozen seconds before he starts looking around for the referee. Mr. Referee is standing absentmindedly by the side of the cage as if he doesn’t even see the pinfall. Lord Raab shouts at the puppet and it takes a few seconds for Mr. Referee to get into gear.


Vinnie Lane: "I guess the referee wasn’t expecting a pinfall attempt in a cage match, but technically either competitor could still win by pinfall or submission!"


The referee finally gets into action and starts counting….slooowwwly.



1!











1 ½








2!!





Bama: "Wait, did the referee count 1 ½?! What’s going on here?!"











2 ½





HGH gets a shoulder up and Mr. Referee immediately ceases the count. Lord Raab steps off of HGH and immediately starts screaming profanities at the puppet refereeing the match.

Bama: "Lord Raab has every right to be pissed off at that puppet! I’ve never seen a referee count the half-seconds in my life!"

Vinnie Lane: "He probably just wasn’t expecting someone to try to get a pin in a cage match! Most people just go over the top of the cage, there’s usually not much for a referee to do!"


Lord Raab continues to have it out with the referee as HGH slowly begins to crawl to the ropes. Lord Raab points a threatening finger down at Mr. Referee as HGH slowly pulls his body to a standing position with a lot of assistance from the ropes and the cage wall.

As Lord Raab argues with Mr. Referee HGH slowly approaches him from behind…before kicking him right in the nutsack! Mr. Referee’s fabric face seems to contort into a smile as Lord Raab falls to his knees and begins clutching his balls. HGH grins like a hound as he stares down at Lord Raab’s contorted face. HGH’s blood drips down onto Lord Raab’s mask before Harmon picks Raab up by the neck and forces him to his feet.

HGH executes a rolling cutter! The crowd goes crazy!

Bama: "INJECTION SHOT! Out of nowhere! This could be it for Harmon, he just has to climb out of the cage now!"

HGH tries to stand back to his feet but collapses to the mat from exhaustion. He looks up at the steel cage walls. The size of the walls makes HGH gulp before he looks back at Lord Raab. HGH crawls over to Lord Raab and places a single hand over his opponent’s chest. Mr. Referee immediately begins a fast count.


1!
2!!
3-NO!


Despite the quick count Raab is still able to fling a shoulder up in the nick of time!


Vinnie Lane: "What a kickout from Lord Raab! All that time HGH spent looking up at that tall climb might have cost him the valuable seconds he needed!"


Bama: "Is that puppet scowling, Vinnie?"


Vinnie Lane: "What? No way dude! Puppets don’t make faces except the ones they come with!"


HGH and Lord Raab lay motionless on the ground for quite some time as the raucous crowd cheers the violence on. HGH is the first man to move, and he slowly gets himself up to his feet. Lord Raab is slowly starting to stir by the time HGH is back to his senses. Raab starts slowly crawling towards the cage wall but is quickly stopped in his tracks by a few stiff boots from Harmon Greyson Hays.

HGH picks Lord Raab up and forces his drowsy opponent to a standing position. Lord Raab almost collapses back to the mat but HGH stabilizes him by wrapping his right arm around Raab’s neck as if he were preparing a guillotine; however, instead of going for a choke HGH uses his left hand to force Raab’s left arm behind his back.

THEN HGH BRINGS RAAB TO THE MAT WITH A HAMMERLOCK DDT!

THEN HGH ROLLS THE DDT INTO A FUJIWARA ARMBAR!

Bama: "THE DOUBLE DOSE! The patented, trademarked, and selectively licensed double dose of HGH!"

Mr. Referee hops down to the mat with incredible speed. He places his puppet head right next to Lord Raab’s head before quickly jumping up to his feet and calling for the bell to be rung! The ringside crew obliges, and the bell is sounded! HGH jumps off of HGH and quickly scurries to his feet triumphantly.

Winner by Submission - Harmon Greyson Hays

Vinnie Lane: "What happened?! Is the match over?!"


Bama: "Mr. Referee called for the bell…Lord Raab must have submitted to the armbar!"


Vinnie Lane: "Did he?! That doesn’t sound like something Raab would do, and the referee called for the bell as soon as the hold was applied! Something isn’t adding up here…"


The door to the cage is opened and HGH jumps out of the ring much bloodier and slimier than he was when he entered. HGH raises his hands in victory as he taunts members of the audience all the way back up the entrance ramp.

Back in the ring Mr. Referee has pulled an expensive looking cigar out of his pocket and tucked it between his lips. The puppet strikes a match and starts smoking his cigar. The camera zooms in on the cigar and HGH’s branding is visible on the filter tip.


Vinnie Lane: "Is that….is that cigar from one of HGH’s many businesses and investments?"


Bama: "That looks nice! I tried to order one online but it said that you can only get them if your order is approved by HGH himself!"


Vinnie Lane: "That’s… odd."


As Lord Raab starts rising to his feet Mr. Referee blows a huge cloud of smoke into Raab’s face with a cocky grin. Raab snarls at Mr. Referee.


Vinnie Lane: "I know I hired a puppet to be a referee…..but I hope I didn’t hire a PUPPET to be a referee! That could be really bad, dude!"


Bama: "Huh? He’s obviously a puppet!"

Lord Raab kicks Mr. Referee in the head forcing him to fly across the cage. Raab shakes his head from side to side and screams to nobody in particular before angrily exiting the cage.

Latina Submission Machina - vs - Vita Valenteen Submission Match! Referee: Ari Silverstein

Vinnie Lane: "Welcome back to XWF Anarchy. Coming up next is a highly anticipated contest. Bama, what’s your thoughts on LSM versus Vita Valenteen?"

Bama: "..."


Vinnie Lane: "Dude! It’s okay that you got beat up, Elijah Martin is a tough dude."


Bama: "...dont’ nerbaddie"


Vinnie Lane: "What?"


Bama: "Don’t nobody put Bama T on the shelf, baby! That was grave injustice. Elijah Martin, I hope you know that we’re not finished!"


Vinnie Lane: "Okay. So how about this match? Vita might have her work cut out for her here, in a submission match against a woman who literally has the word submission as a middle name."


Bama: "Middle names? My middle name is Vengeance tonight, Vinne baby. And Elijah Martin is going to figure that out quick, fast in a heartbeat baby."

Vinnie Lane: "Enough moping, Bama. Here comes LSM now! I know this latina firecracker has to spice things up for you."


"Salió El Sooooollll"


Green and red pyrotechnics shoot up about five feet in the air on either side of the entrance platform as Latina Submission Machina pops out of the tunnel. The masked wrestler bounces around just outside the tunnel for a moment, her red hair flipping from side to side. She crouches slightly and begins overhead clapping along to the music as she steps forward. Some of the crowd begins to clap along as the luchadora descends down the entrance ramp. The latinx music continues to blast through the speakers as the woman in the green and red wrestling outfit rolls beneath the bottom rope and into the squared circle.


"La pistola, chambonea"


The crowd begins to clap along to the rhythm of the music with greater enthusiasm as Latina Submission Machina performs a modest belly dance in the middle of the ring. Moments later Latina Submission Machina quickly breaks away and starts running the ropes of the ring, testing out the squared circle and getting a feel for it's qualities. Content with it's fitness, the luchadora grabs a hold of the ropes and comes to a controlled halt. She turns to the referee and tells them she's ready to go. The luchadora heads to the corner as instructed and begins rolling her shoulders and neck, stretching in preparation for the coming battle.

Bama: "Saucy. The LSM is one saucy babe. And we seen just how upset she was backstage talking to Commissioner Waters. LSM looks like she don’t just wanna make vita tap. She wants to make Vita retire!"

Vinnie Lane: “Here comes Vita Valenteen now, who also doesn’t look content with just showing up for a match tonight. She and LSM are both former Anarchy Champions, so we can expect a great contest."


Bama: "Oh baby! A big shout out to Commissioner Waters for putting this match together for all the fans to enjoy."


Vinnie Lane: “Wait. Why does Dolly get all the credit, dude?"


Bama: "Don’t diss the Commish, Vinnie."

As the opening riff of "Wicked Child" tore through the arena the crowd jumped to their feet! Vita makes her way down to the ring, taking time to interact with her adoring fans along the way. Vita then slides into the ring and postures for the crowd as her music dies down.

Ari forces each woman back to their respective corners and pats down their waistlines, and then feels for any foreign objects in their boots. With no blatant cheating discovered, Ari calls for the bell. Getting this submission match underway.

LSM rushes in at Vita with a fiery look in her eye, but VV doesn’t back down, she charges right back and the two women meet in the center of the ring with a lockup. Vita gains the upper hand, but only for a moment, as LSM frees an arm and sticks VV with some well placed kidney shots. This gives LSM an opportunity to pull VV into a headlock.

LSM wrenches at the head and neck for good measure, but VV sends an elbow to LSM’s gut - only it’s too late. LSM flips VV down to the mat with a headlock take down and keeps the hold locked in. She climbs over onto VV’s back and transitions the hold into a modified camel clutch. The first submission of the match is officially locked in!

Ari slides down to meet VV face to face, but before he can even ask if she’s okay, Vita summons the strength to find a leg. She stands to her feet, LSM still latched onto her back, and VV takes off running backwards, driving LSM into the turnbuckle. LSM is staggered and breaks the hold, but reaches right back for VV’s legs, going for a take down. But VV catches the arm, and slings LSM to the mat with a well timed armdrag, flipping the opponeents position in the ring. VV now with her back to the turnbuckle, tries climbing backward up to the middle rope, but LSM is to her feet quickly and is right there to meet her. A shin kick causes Vita to lose her balance, she falls from the ropes to the mat but still lands on her feet. LSM leaps at VV going for a DDT out of the corner, but somehow VV is able to shift her weight.

Bama: "OH BABY!"


Vinnie Lane: “A rad counter there by Valenteen as she backdrops LSM over the top rope!"


LSM smacks hard on the apron of the ring, and VV catches her breath before going back on the attack. Vita gets to the ropes, but LSM is right there! LSM grabs Vita by the hair from the outside of the ring, drops her weight and pulls Valenteen down, throat first across the top rope. Vita crashes hard to the mat. But LSM is on the attack like a pitbull, she already has Vita’s legs from the outside, dragging her opponent’s legs around the turnbuckle post. She hooks one leg over the other, ties her leg in between them and falls - locking vita into a painful corner post figure four.

LSM screeches some words in Spanish, as Vita screams in pain. Ari is right there with Vita, asking her if she wants to continue. Vita’s face is turning red as she grabs at her own hair and starts tugging. Veins popping out from her neck as she shrieks again.


Vinnie Lane: “Vita might be stuck here and forced to submit!"


Bama: "LSM gotta’ watch it though, Vinnie. That move doesn’t just hurt the person taking it, but it also hurts the person locking it in."

And on que, LSM’s face twists in pain, as she becomes visibly damaged by her own submission move. She yanks back one more time, hoping that VV will tap, but the seasoned XWF veteran withstands the pain. LSM is forced to break the hold before she does any real damage to herself. LSM slides back under the roeps and into the ring, ready to take advantage of the hobbled Vita. She reaches down to grab Valenteen, but it’s Vita! She grabs LSM’s arm and pulls her to the mat!

RINGS OF VITA!

But she’s unable to get it locked in! LSM quickly shifts her weight around and now has Vita on the mat, locked in a leg scissors hold. LSM flexes her healthy thighs and tighten them around Vita’s ribs. Valenteen cries out, but LSM does a quick sit up and punches across her body, connecting right to the nose of VV. Vita goes limp and LSM releases the hold. She goes right for Vita’s arm ready to lock in one of her best moves. Vita senses the danger, knowing that if LSM gets an armbar locked in the match will be over, and summons the will to scurrie up to her bottom, then to her feet. Both women standing now, LSM has the arm…
AND SHE EATS A WELL TIMED ENZIGURI FROM VITA!

The kick sends LSM fallings backward through the ropes and onto the apron again. This time, the limping Vita gives LSM no quarter. Just as LSM stands, Vita does a triangle bounce from the ocner ropes and connects with and elbow to LSM’s temple.

BUT LSM NOW!

She absorbs the blow like a champ and still grabs onto Vita’s arm on the way down. Locking in a dangling armbar over the top rope.


Vinnie Lane: “Vita is about to tap out!"


But instead she sacrifices herself, allowing LSM to pull her over the top rope, causing both women to smack the floor and LSM to break the hold.

Vita gets to her feet first as LSM landed awkwardly on her neck during the fall. Vita stands over top of LSM and pulls her head up between her legs.

Bama: "OH BABY THAT'S HOT!"


Vinnie Lane: “Looks like Vita is setting up for her Canadian Destroy piledriver."


Vita tucks LSM and flips, but as LSM comes out on the back side, she plants a foot into the floor, and spins off from Vita. LSM ends up behind VV and quickly leaps onto her back, locking in her trademark dragon sleeper!


Vinnie Lane: “Here it is Bama. LSM is going to put this match away!"


LSM wraps her legs around Vita as she pulls back on her head. AND SOMEHOW VITA TAKES OFF RUNNING!

Both women smash into the ring steps and LSM’s forehead bounces off of the ring post with a sick thud.

With the two ladies both down and in bad shape, the ref can do nothing but stand and wait for them to get back into the ring and continue. Eventually, Vita gets to her feet and grabs LSM, pulling her up from the pile of wreckage that used to be ring steps. This is when we see that Machina's head has been split open badly, and blood pours all over her mask and hair.


Vinnie Lane: "That's a lot of blood, Bama! LSM might end up passing out from blood loss!"


Bama: "She's leakin' big time!"

Valenteen rolls LSM into the ring under the bottom rope and heads onto the apron, stalking her prey.

Vita times it perfectly as Latina Submission Machina staggers to her feet on wobbly legs.

Vita hits the springboard off the ropes and leaps toward LSM!




















EAT DEFEAT!!!


























NO!!!




LSM caught her! Somehow, LSM caught Vita flying in midair and has her down on the mat in a gogoplata!


Vita is STUCK in the hold and she starts to fade as LSM cranks back on the shin choke for everything she's worth. Clearly her last gasp of energy as the blood continues to pour from her head.

Vita fights and fights... and then she slumps forward.


Ari Silverstein checks on Vita and immediately pushes on LSM's leg, signalling for the bell!

Winner by Submission - Latina Submission Machina

LSM collapses onto her back after letting go of Vita, falling unconscious from blood loss. A woozy Vita is told the match result and looks disappointed, not understanding how her opponent could have won while asleep.


Vinnie Lane: "What a last minute effort by LSM! She snatched that win out of the jaws of defeat! We all thought Vita had it won!"


Bama: "Them Spanish girls are scary, Vince! I got mugged by a salsa dancer in Tijuana once!"

Jax Hart & John Caedus - vs - CENTRUBION (Centurion & Ruby) Tag Team Rules! One RP Per Team! Referee: John X

Vinnie Lane: “Welcome back to XWF Anarchy. I’m Loverboy Vinnie Lane. He’s Bama Hamma T-"


Bama: "-BAY-BAY!!!"


Vinnie Lane: “-And it’s time for your Anarchy Main Event of the evening."


Bama: "Baby the juices is flowing, and you can smell it in the air!"


Vinnie Lane: “What Bama is trying to say is we have the Anarchy Champion in action tonight. Centurion teams up with Ruby to face the formidable John Caedus and Jackson Hart right now."

The stadium comes to life as Centurion’s music rips through the speakers. He and Ruby step out under the AnarchoTron and as Centurion takes the championship from his waist and holds it in the air, the roof comes down.

Bama: "Nah nah baby Lane. I’m saying you can feel it tonight. Look at that man-"

The camera pans to Centurion’s face

Bama: "-Look in his eyes, baby. Looking like a bronze-aged warrior. The stage is set for Centurion to continue his dominance of XWF Anarchy."


Vinnie Lane: “The all time XWF wins holder, Centurion in the midst of a renaissance in his career. An awesome champion for Anarchy."


Centurion and Ruby head to the ring. The climb onto the apron. They give one another a high five under a barrage of camera flashes. They step through the ropes at the same time and pose for the fans, each climbing a turnbuckle and raising their arms in the air.

Bama: "Oh yeah, you can feel it alright. Centurion and Ruby are a hard load to handle separately, but one these two got their boo-thang-booty by their side they’re unstoppable."

Darkness washes throughout the arena and "End of Line" by Daft Punk begins to play.


Vinnie Lane: “Well I know two men who might have something to say about that."


In sync with the beat, spotlights flash on and off with silver filtered illumination; John Caedus and Jackson Hart step from behind the curtain.


Vinnie Lane: “John Caedus and Jackson Hart. Two very talented, very dangerous competitors."


Bama: "You’d have to be a dummy not to relate Caedus and dangerous together. John’s brother Jim, the Universal Champion baby. And as for Jackson, well the name Hart just sounds like wrasslin' to me baby!"

They make their ways to the ring with purpose and murderous intent, ignoring the fans completely. Stepping up onto the apron, John swings a leg over the top rope and enters the ring while Jackson rolls under the bottom.

The two duos in the ring, Centrubion, Hart and Caedus, stare one another down. Referee John X steps between the two teams. You can’t tell he’s not going to put up with any monkey business tonight. He takes the Anarchy title from Centurion and orders each team to their corner. He calls for the bell and we’re underway. Hart and Centurion go first as Ruby and Caedus find their corners and step out onto the apron.

Jackson Hart is young and strong, looking confident and ready to make a statement. He rushes in at Centurion, but the Anarchy Champion was already charging in! Jackson leaps in the air for a spinning heel kick, but Centurion shifts around the young wrestler. Hart lands on his back and Centurion follows him down with a standing elbow drop across the throat.


Vinnie Lane: “Dude! Centurion put some force into that basic move. Big time impact there."


Bama: "Oooooh baby."

With Hart down, Centurion takes off running towards the ropes. He jumps on the middle and springboards backward with a Centurionsault! He smashes down onto Hart’s chest. Ruby applauds while Caedus throws his arms up in the air. Centurion doesn’t go for the pin, he’s quick to his feet, lifting Hart and whipping him into the corner with Ruby. Centurion runs and leaps, crashing onto Hart with a splash while tagging Ruby in the process.

Caedus drops from the apron and takes off sprinting around the ring. Ruby is climbing to the top rope with Hart still down. Caedus moves around the ring quick and leaps up onto Ruby’s apron. He’s running towards her turnbuckle. She and Cent both spot him, and Ruby dives off, tagging Cent back into action in the process. She smacks John in the face with a diving dropkick to the floor.

BUT IN THE RING!


Vinnie Lane: “It’s Jackson Hart! HE’S GOT CENTURION ROLLED UP!"


But not even a 1 count!

Centurion rolls through the pin attempt and superkicks Hart in the jaw. He grabs the falling Hart before he can hit the mat and plants him neck first with a Smart Bomb! Centurion stands while the crowd goes crazy. He’s motioning his hands, swinging his arms, asking Jackson Hart to get back to his feet.

Bama: "BABY I TOLD YOU CENTURION WAS ON FIRE TONIGHT!"


Vinnie Lane: “Centurion looks unstoppable. But you better watch out!"


Jim Caedus has made it back into the ring from the floor, he’s going to spear Centurion from behind. Centurion turns and walks right into a spear- NO! Ruby intercepts Caedus!

"A Rubycutter!"

Caedus bounces from the mat and is out. But from behind now, Jackson is up and spins Centurion around. He’s about to flip Centurion in the air, but Centurion easily counters.

1000 Mile slam!

Centurion covers Jackson Hart whil Ruby stands and counts along with the John X.



1!



















2!!





























3!!!

Winners by Pinfall - CENTRUBION

After the match, Ruby and Centurion celebrate. The ring announcer goes to hand the Anarchy Title up to Centurion, but Centurion also gestures for a mic. The ring announcer hands him one, and he tosses the Anarchy Title over his shoulder before pacing back into the center of the ring.


Vinnie Lane: “Looks like the champ has something to say."


Centurion: Elijah Martin...

Crowd instantly starts to boo.

Centurion: Elijah, I saw what you did tonight. I hope you're happy with your performance. I hope beating up a commentator makes you feel like a man. You sure showed us all what you're made of. But there is one thing I agree with - you were screwed out of an actual opportunity for a title.

The crowd starts to murmur, no quite agreeing with Centurion.

Centurion: Yeah, it was a dumb match put together by a dumb person.


Vinnie Lane : "Hey!”


Centurion: "And I know you're not going to shut up about it as long as I'm the champion. So, here's what we're going to do. You and me, Elijah. Once more. This is your only chance as long as I am the champ. You win, or you go to the back of the line. And we're not doing anything dumb. No cages, no dogs, no trampoline pits filled with Jello."


Vinnie Lane: "I have to write that one down..."


Centurion: "No, you and me, Submission Match. Someone is tapping out in the middle of this ring. Leave the excuses at home, Elijah, because I'm going to prove to you, once and for all, that you're not in my league, when you meet your..."


Crowd: FINAL FANTASY!!



Anarchy goes off the air on a tight close up of the Anarchy Champion.

SPECIAL THANKS: Mark Flynn Dolly Waters Charlie Nickels Centurion Elijah Martin Vita Valenteen

Hey LSM, you beat me, and fairly, I might add. I'm happy that you decided against resorting to cheating. Hopefully tonight's contest was enough to restore your confidence, because I've been down that path, and it only leads to pain and heartache, trust me.

Also, don't think that I didn't learn a thing or two tonight. Next time it will be a completely different match! So I hope that you're prepared for the challenge. Until then, savor this victory. Because you EARNED IT!

<3

Oswald smirks a bit, rubbing his hands together as his servants get his dress shirt ready to put on him as he speaks

"I told you people. This night would be the start of our journey to the top.

We're the motherfucking Money Titans and we're not gonna stop until we become the XWF Tag Team champions! I am the man that set BOB on a path to victory and dominance. So don't doubt me for a fucking second. Or else you'll get put down like the dogs you are."