The Engineer appears on camera and he looks....yeesh! Clearly his war with Robbie Bourbon took a toll. His face looks battered, but that sadistic twinkle is still there. He appears to be sitting on a satiny red high backed chair, wearing a black silk robe, open and cutting dangerously low down past his navel. The Universal Championship is held in his right hand, still bearing some light blood splatter that may very well be his own.

Robbie goddamn Bourbon..... He whistles and shakes his head. Still not exactly sold on the philosophy, but the man brought the war. With a little head nod and a concilliatory roll of his hand, he salutes his challenger. Well met, sir.

But time marches ever onward. March Madness is just around the corner. And something deep down in my guts says that somehow....some way...this particular pay per view is SIGNIFICANT. Maybe its the ghosts of Lux's echo rolling around inside my head, but I just cant shake the notion. The champ looks a little perplexed. Can't put my finger on it though.

Anyhoo! Who's my next big obstacle to overcome? Some might say the choice is clear! The rumbles have been overt, the talk catching backstage and in the locker rooms like, dare I say it, a virus? So, as I do, because I am a FIGHTING champion, I figure I should make my intentions clear. I am offering a Universal Championship match opportunity to.....


Oh man, here it comes!


......


This is it!

.......

Damn, he's really dragging this out!


......


Oh come on, just say it already, we all know who you're gonna say!

......


JUST SAY IT! SAY SA-


.....KENZI GRAY-LACKLAN!


...wut?


Kenzi Gray-Lacklan! Again, for posterity. I mean, don't get me wrong....Sarah is AMAZING, but even she herself says that her beautiful, gorgeous, sultry.... The champ licks his lips lecherously. .....wife is her better. Plus, if we're going by recent performance....ehhhhh.... He waggles his hand in a "meh" way. ....I'm just sayin'!

So what'll it be, Kenzi? Wanna put all those outside commitments on hold for a date with yours truly? I know what my answer would be....

“Aww, did someone say no again? Pretty sure the challenged the wrong Mafia member. Pretty sure Kenzi isn’t coming back for a while.”

(01-28-2020, 08:04 AM)Fuzz Said: “Aww, did someone say no again? Pretty sure the challenged the wrong Mafia member. Pretty sure Kenzi isn’t coming back for a while.”

Still inside you. Thrusting rapidly. Hold still I'm almost there.

“Keep thinking you’re in my head.”

“Remember I’m the one that said no... not once but twice. I’ve been done with this for a while now, hurry up and bust your load, so you can get off of my dick already.”

“Kenzi if you’re seeing this, please for the love of god shut him up.”

(01-28-2020, 04:53 PM)Fuzz Said: “Keep thinking you’re in my head.”

“Remember I’m the one that said no... not once but twice. I’ve been done with this for a while now, hurry up and bust your load, so you can get off of my dick already.”

“Kenzi if you’re seeing this, please for the love of god shut him up.”

Oh hunty, you're the one who keeps chasing me all over the place to tell the world how not shook you are by me. This had nothing to do with you but whoops, here comes Fuzz swooping in to assume the position again and remind the world he ran from me. Again.

Your capacity for self owns never ceases to amaze me.

“I can’t believe you’re buying into your own fucking hype man.”

“Congrats you beat Solider when he decided to call it quits. You beat Robbie as if that was some sort of challenge. For fuck sake man you didn’t even call out Sarah. You know the person who has beaten you already, and a person who I’ve beaten not once but twice.”

“So yeah, say I’m running, but remember who asked who for the opportunity, and who said...”

“Nah, you’re not worth my time.”

(01-28-2020, 05:18 PM)Fuzz Said: “I can’t believe you’re buying into your own fucking hype man.”

“Congrats you beat Solider when he decided to call it quits. You beat Robbie as if that was some sort of challenge. For fuck sake man you didn’t even call out Sarah. You know the person who has beaten you already, and a person who I’ve beaten not once but twice.”

“So yeah, say I’m running, but remember who asked who for the opportunity, and who said...”

“Nah, you’re not worth my time.”

Sarah's never beaten me, Fuzz.

Your hyperventilations about how "not worth it" I am, your constant insertions into business that has nothing to do with you, and the frequency with which you follow me around to lap up my leavings tells the entire world just who is in who's head. You are overcorrecting HARD and trying to save face for not jumping at the chance to beat a supposed weak champion. Intelligent, sensible people see it for what it is. Hell, you could have even cashed in your briefcase but you didn't even have the stones to do that. And whyyyyyy? Because you knew I'd just win it right back from you.

You look like SHIT.

“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get in your feels dude-bro.”

“Here I’ll do you a solid. Stop asking, and I won’t have to constantly remind everyone that they are the second choice.”

“I’ll stop, when you stop. Sounds fair right?”

“Toodles.”

Can you show the world this hypothetical time I asked you again? Like, provide visible proof?

I'll wait.

“I’m not one for breaking the fourth wall, but if you really want me to.”

(01-28-2020, 06:11 PM)Fuzz Said: “I’m not one for breaking the fourth wall, but if you really want me to.”

Fourth....wall???

Maybe he meant your mere existence in the XWF as its champion of champions, while he is in possession of a 24/7 briefcase, is you "asking" for him? I dunno... Maybe he's just injecting his own supply. Could go either way.

“Close Shane, but I must tell you I am sober. Not sure if I can say the same about you.”

“Your buddy knows what I’m talking about, and if he wants me to provide proof I can.”

(01-28-2020, 06:20 PM)Shane <img src="https://i.imgur.com/pUgtAVa.gif"> Said: Maybe he meant your mere existence in the XWF as its champion of champions, while he is in possession of a 24/7 briefcase, is you "asking" for him? I dunno... Maybe he's just injecting his own supply. Could go either way.

Mmmm...yes, for SURE! The champ nods his head confidently.

Kenzi, where art thou....?

(01-28-2020, 06:24 PM)Fuzz Said: “Close Shane, but I must tell you I am sober. Not sure if I can say the same about you.”

“Your buddy knows what I’m talking about, and if he wants me to provide proof I can.”

I wanna see! Is this like "Trump impeachment trial" kind of evidence or real kind of evidence?

Fuzz, trust me... I can tell you I'm not sober. I've been so doped up since CUNTfest that I didn't even remember slapping Centurion until the medic in the back asked me how I did it so gracefully after my match.

At least with me, you could tell me we met up and talked, and I might have to take your word for it because right now my grasp on reality is more FUCKED than it's EVER been before! Wheeeeeee! Shane cartwheels out of the camera's view.

First, this is an incredible opportunity to just drop into my lap. I have never been THE champion anywhere, and that has always been the goal. Few things would be sweeter than to have the chance to say that I am the best of the best with a championship to prove it. I was intrigued by this offer and sorely SORELY tempted, but if my time as the XWF Tag Team Champion has taught me anything, it’s that what a company, and especially its roster, wants and needs is someone who is dedicated and shows up day in and day out.

Full disclosure, I am such as scatterbrained idiot that I had no idea that the Tag Team Tournament was for the XWF Titles. Had I known, I might not have agreed to compete…I say might, because my wife can be VERY persuasive. That wasn’t her intent, it was just an opportunity for us to attempt to add to our legacy in this industry and we did that. My one regret during my time as XWF Tag Team Champion was not being as visible as Sarah. She remained the lightning rod for us throughout this ride, and I appreciate it.

Yes, obviously it’s a no…but a reluctant one.

I arrogantly thought about how amazing it would be to become the champion and then throw it in the face of everyone that has called me Sarah’s shadow or absentee performer. I think I realize now that it’s true, even though it irked me every time I heard it. I haven’t earned the right to step to the top champion on the roster and challenge for the strap. I haven’t bled on multiple brands and fought from one end of the XWF to the other. I haven’t won a string of titles and accolades that make me a legitimate contender. I don’t know the intimate details of the other performers that I would leap frog for a chance to represent them to the world.

Sarah has.

As much as I want to say yes, I can’t in good conscious, even though she’d support me 100%. I’m not the one and this isn’t even about me…I feel that it is really about passing over someone who really is deserving. I don’t think anyone will debate that Sarah has made a huge impact in XWF, if they do, they are lying to themselves or they are just stupid. She, along with a lot of others, have given her time and effort to this company in ways that I can’t come close to.

Thank you for the kind words and the consideration, win or lose. I enjoy XWF and I have met some amazing people here that I hope I remain friends with…even though they say that I shouldn’t pass this up. I’m not a worthy contender and I think everyone in the company can agree with me on that.

Best of luck, and please don’t be a stranger…that goes for all of you!

Best of luck Kenzi

Hey yo Kenzi! Bro! I don't know a whole lotta bout you guys but isn't that Sarah slut the one that jobs out anytime you guys lose a tag match? Like dude, hasn't she lost a bazatriillion times lately? What about you tho Kenzi broh? You ever even been pinned or tapped here? Here I thought you were the one that doesn't lose but naaaaaah I'm prolly just confused cuz it sounds like you're saying she's great and you're a worthless . Sure bub cool story bro. Anyways you need any legal 100% natty vegan steroids though? While I'm here? I'm cutting big fuckin deals on this shit all month long in honor of my new cooking show babay!! Also have a fucking shit ton of Serostim because I accidentally got 100x more than I needed so I'm looking to unload it fast. If you leave without any of this shit you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life bruh!

We cut to a shoulder up shot of The Engineer, who looks like he has a sad on.

Not gonna lie, Kenzi, supremo disappointment is what I'm feeling! UGH! If anything your classy, tactful response just turns the screw even harder.

However, if that is how you TRULY feel, I suppose I have to accept it. Although I can't help but point out that there is nothing arrogant about wanting to prove yourself to be the best of the best. It's what we ALL want, deep down inside.

But! He shrugs. I'll get over it. It does still leave me with the small problem of who gets to face me at March Madness, presuming I'm still champ by that point. (I will be.) So, to that end, I've decided to do this the XWF way.

The shot pans back and we see that The Engineer is holding a huge ponderous stack of manilla folders.

I have here the employee file of every single active XWF competitor. I have decided I am going to toss them in the air and whoever's file ends up on top gets the shot. Seems completely fair and reasonable, right? Right! Here we go!

With a mighty TOSS he sends all the employee files flying into the air! Papers go everywhere! He takes a step back and waits for everything to settle before picking up the topmost folder. With a cheeky smile, he reveals it to the camera.

WHOA! DAX HARRIS.....welcome to the big time!

Dax Harris, eh? Sounds interesting.

"You can't run from yourself."

Upon realizing the chosen name, the concern splatters all over Shane's face like a money shot from a horse... The lump in Shane's throat is swallowed hard before... Woah... Listen... There's still time to choose a different name.

There's no reason to take this level of risk right now. Dax may be too much.

Shane panics, not even waiting for a response before he starts running away from the camera, not wanting to be a possible Target of Dax.