When last we saw Drew he was passed out in a sea of hookers and powdered sugar. Robert Main however was underneath the city hot on the trail of Locksley. With Robert busy doing his thing Drew decided to take the opportunity to have some "me time" in the form of pizza and fresh air.


The following is a direct continuation of Robert Main's "The Australian Job".

As the scene fades in we see Drew seated by himself at a small circle metal table. On the table is a small personal sized pizza and a glass of clear liquid, one assumes water. Everything is going according to Drew's plan. He's enjoying his pizza, the weather is sunny and 70 and the commotion level outside where Drew is seated is at a minimum.

Until...

...about five feet away from where Drew is seated a manhole cover pops off and out comes a mutant. A teenage mutant ninja turtle to be exact.

Just kidding. It's actually XWF Superstar and current Universal Champion and one half of Apex, Robert Main. Why is Robert climbing out of the sewer into the daytime streets of Australia stinking of sewage and stale water? Let's find out.

Robert?

Drew? Robert says as he finishes his climb out of the sewer, gently playing the manhole cover where it previously was.

What the hell are you doing coming out of the sewer? Were you trying to find the mythical Australian Kangaroo - Crocodile that hides in the sewers and comes out to eat small children and large house pets?

What? There's no such thing. Main responds as he slowly approaches Drew.

But how do you know Robert? How do YOU know? Wait Robert...don't come any closer I'm hideous. Drew says as he picks up the small plastic menu from the table and places it in front of his face trying to block the horror.

Is that why you are wearing that ridiculous mustache and glasses disguise? What's wrong with you? Is it the hives still? I told you those will go away. We just need to get you some antibiotics. Main replies as he ignores Drew's warnings and continues to close the gap between he and his tag team partner.

Yes Robert it's the hives but I don't need no stupid antibiotics. Those give you Downs Syndrome. And I'm not down with the Downs. Besides I figured out what the problem was so we're all good.

Really? What's the issue then? Robert asks as he pulls out a chair for himself.

Allergies Robert. I am allergic to the XWF Tag Team title.

Get the hell out of here. What are you talking about? Are you on drugs? Robert asks as he pulls out a chair and takes a seat at the table with Drew.

Come now Bob-O you know I don't partake in recreational drugs.What I am saying is 100% true. I am allergic to the titles. Specifically the gold that is on the title.

That's insane. How do you know that?

For as long as you've known me I've never been a well off man like you. I've always struggled to get by, as a kid as a wayward teen and as an adult. Remember I was homeless living in a box under a bridge in Chicago just a year ago. Some people just aren't meant to have nice things and obviously that means gold. I am allergic to gold.

You're insane.

Am I Robert? Am I? Or am I so sane that I am operating on a plane of existence that your feeble mind just can't comprehend?

No, you're insane. Certifiable even. Robert remarks as he looks around trying to find a waiter or waitress.

Geez Robert, you seem extremely agitated. What's wrong? Tell your bff Drew. I'm here for you.

I had him Drew. I fucking had him. But the cops opened fire and then shit hit the fan and he got away. Robert yells as he slams the mask that Locksley was wearing on the table. The sight of which immediately startles Drew.

What the hell is that? Drew asks as he starts pocking and prodding the mask with his knife.

It's his mask. Like I said I had him. I had his head in my hands. When everything finally settled down this was all that was left of him. He was gone.

Is that mask made of skin? Like human skin? Drew again asks this time trying to keep himself from vomiting on the table.

Yes it is.

What the fuck Robert? Who is this sicko? Did you get a look at him before he pulled his vanishing act?

No I didn't. As you can see the blonde hair is part of the mask, he could be bald underneath for all I know.

Well look at it this way, we are getting close. Every day we get closer and closer. That's the good news. The bad news is that we have less than two weeks to find this guy. It's gonna be pretty difficult once we have to leave the island.

A fact I have not overlooked Drew. That's why I'm so pissed right now. It was over. All of this was over. We were out from under the Mob's thumb...and then we weren't.

Here Robert, I ordered you a drink. Drew says as he pushes a glass of a golden yellow liquid towards his long time friend and tag team partner.

What is this?

Fosters. It's Australian for beer.

Robert allows the comment to pass without response, instead opting to drink the beer, all of it, in about 10 seconds.

You thirsty?

Shut up. Main fires back as he slams the glass on the table.

You want another?

Yes.

Tell you what bud, it's pretty clear to me as your best friend and tag team partner that you need some time to decompress. We'll catch this guy, I know we will but first you need to blow off some steam. I saw a real nice titty bar around the corner. What's say you and I go and check the place out, maybe try their buffet.

Fine. Whatever. Let's get out of here. Robert says as he gets up from the table, carefully replacing the chair so that it is under the table and not blocking anyone's path.

Uhhh Robert, aren't you forgetting something? Drew asks as he starts repeatedly tapping the check with his forefinger.

You came to a restaurant without money? How were you planning to pay for your meal if I hadn't shown up? The Champ asks as he reaches into his wallet and pulls out his AmEx.

But you did show up so it's a moot point but rest assured, I had a plan, I always have a plan. Now, let's go see some titties.

---

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So here's the thing, when Apex first formed last year it was with one goal, one singular purpose in mind, the decimation of a group known as The Motherfuckers. If you are watching this promo now and asking yourself who the hell are The Motherfuckers...well...exactly. They're gone. A distant memory, a blip on the radar of the XWF landscape. The MFers had a cup of coffee in the XWF running roughshod over people. Robbie Bourbon, Bearded War Pig and The Engineer. The longest reigning XWF Universal Champion in history until my boy Big Dick Bob took the title from him. Robbie Bourbon, another former Universal Champion and Bearded War Pig, one of the biggest and baddest dude's you'll ever meet. As fearsome a trio as you'll ever see in wrestling and yet Apex destroyed them and then erased them from existence.

Things haven't exactly gone according to plan since then. Jim Caedus, the third member of our brotherhood is dead. Taken out by world renowned punk bitch Chris Chaos. I was in a coma for months and Robert had to leave the fed for a little while to take care of some personal business. And yet here we are, back for Apex 2.0 and already we are making waves, the two of us, Robert the Universal Champion and Apex the reigning tag team champs.

Some folks, people without a clue might claim that we are nothing more than opportunists. That Robert came back and took advantage of a fatigued Universal Champion, maybe that's true. Maybe The Engineer was tired of being at the top of the mountain all by himself for so long but you know what, it was The Engineer that asked for Robert to step to the plate and it was Robert that did what no one else was able to do for over a year and that was take the title off of The Engineer. Keep in mind Engy was also undefeated as the Xtreme Champion. Robert came back from his hiatus and took the Universal Championship from what most would argue is the greatest champion the XWF has ever seen. Is that being an opportunist? Or is that what being a champion is all about? Doing what those before you couldn't?

And the tag team titles? Robert laid out a challenge to the Champions, who at the time were Peter Gilmour and Micheal McBride, that's who we expected to face but as fate would have it The Midnight Dolls would take the titles from The Killers and begin what would be a short lived title reign. Some might say it was arguably the worst tag team title reign in history, not just because they lost in their first official defense but because they also managed to lose a non title match to the very same people that Robert and I will be facing next week in the main event of Wednesday Night Warfare. The aptly named Job Ber Too Tree.

To listen to these two try and take a dump all over everyone else's accomplishments you might think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and yet...not. They want to label me a hanger on. That's fine. Time was I was also considered the weakest link of Apex and yet here I am, undefeated in my career as a wrestler. 9 matches, 9 victories and 3 titles along the way. Pretty good for a hanger on wouldn't you say? Is Robert a more accomplished wrestler than I am? Absolutely. That's not a matter of opinion, it's a fact. Robert's record speaks for itself. But to write me off as someone who just holds onto the coat tails of his friend for dear life, collecting accolades along the way, well, cool. Thank you. In fact that's exactly how I want you both to look at me. As a guy undeserving of his current station. It will make punching you both in the mouth and walking out of Warfare still the champions that much sweeter.

I've been overlooked and looked down on my entire life and yet here I am. Still scrappin and rappin in the best wrestling federation on the planet, riding high with my brother from another mother YOUR Universal Champion. Our opponents may be literal brother and sister, they may think that gives them some kid of advantage in this match but the truth is their blood bond is exactly what will be their downfall. Does anyone really think that Job Ber Tree won't go on tilt when he sees his sister getting her ass handed to her by Robert and I? You think Job Ber Too won't start to crack when she sees her brother's battered and bloody face slamming into the ring mat repeatedly?

Our opponents are right about one thing and one thing only, we don't know what it's like facing them, but we sure as hell know what it's like facing teams far more accomplished than them and every single time we have walked out victorious. And on Wednesday Night we will do it again because that's what Apex does. Today. Tomorrow. Always.

Apex forever.