Unknown Soldier: "Welcome devils, hooligans, and street folk to another death defying episode of Me Madness. Tonight I have pulled myself out of my own promo to sit back and explain to everyone what makes Steve Davids feel it necessary to pull me into my dream. If he has the ability to depict actual scenes in my own human brain, then I have the ability to overrule whatever pathetic dialogue he decided to inscribe as my own. That's bullshit; I would never speak to Death in the manner that he portrayed. This is MY DREAM and I can do whatever I want in it... Let's take a closer look as we join our dastardly villain in progress. Have a look see... "
The scene opens up exactly where we left off last time. The massive Juggernaut zombie known as Jack Thompson has joined the rest of his family in a pool of blood around the Thompson household. Soldier's appetite was not quenched by the females alone. Unknown Soldier is sprawled out nude on a floor soaked in blood and death.
Unknown Soldier: "Hey look, there I am... Let's take a closer look as we finally see what takes place inside the dream of Unknown Soldier. Steve Davids already knows, he broadcast it for us just yesterday... Here we go..."
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Get out of my dreams!
Well, here we are with some sort of ginger teenage girl swinging on the swings in the playground and walking out after buying a bunch of pens from the Staples appliance store. The nursery rhyme that originates during the time of the Black Death is fluttering in the backs of our eardrums. Being as she is a ginger and has no soul creepy tune she sings of "Ring around the Rosie." We've all been here before... This is the dreams of "YOU." Steve Davids couldn't have done a better job painting a picture of Soldier's dream as the dark and depressing ambient nature of it envelopes in front of our eyes. Unknown Soldier is wandering around as he pulls up next to an oak tree to relieve his bladder. Before turning around and revealing himself with a friend and former sex partner of his for many years. The FIEND!! It hovers over him with a death defying stare. That is, if he had a face... His scythe is powerful and menacing as he towers over the anemic Unknown Soldier who is about half his size. Soldier is less that startled as he turns around to find his confidant. The Fiend speaks as Soldier turns to face him...
Fiend “Oh my dear wanderer, what would ever bring you to such a dark place? This is no place for the youthful and energetic. This is death’s door to those who seek it, yet it may be paradise to those who have earned it.”
You “I do not fear you… Fiend. So what is this place to you? Death’s door…. Or paradise?”
ME "Hey, what's up Dawg? I'm back again. I know, fourteenth time this week. I must have been shoveling random body parts in my mouth and forgot to breathe again. I think this would be a bit more like paradise if you had a fat ass and a big set of titties on your back so I can suck on those while I hit it doggystyle? Come on Fiend, show me paradise before my master puts me back on earth again. What's your problem?"
Fiend “Why is it not obvious? This is my home… For beyond these trees lie the dead. Those who bask in deceit and lies stay awake forever dreaming constant night mares on the left. Whilst those who have earned heaven bathe peacefully in their honour on the right… And which might you be?”
You “I am neither. I am not dead, this is nothing but a nightmare and I wish to awaken from this torment. ENOUGH!”
ME "AHHHHH! My ears!!! The 'H' word hurts my ears!! But if what you say is true and their are dead behind those trees then let's ask them to join in with us. HA! That's the best part is when their dead we don't have to ask? The answers always yes! Great thinking FIEND!"
Soldier winks at Fiend and begins to walk over towards the tree, but not until the scene fades out and we are taken back to the Thompson residence.
Get into my car!
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Now covered in a slimy pool of his own filth and DNA of the entire Thompson family, Soldier realizes that he was just in another one of his favorite nightmares. The one where he dies and has a 666 man orgy with Death that involved handcuffs, donuts, and a giant scythe. Standing over this wretched scene and admiring his work briefly before making an exit out the front door. Dragging behind him is a large pool of blood that trickles like a snail in his wake. His destination and escape plan surrounds itself around a 1976 Cadillac that is parked in the drive way. He hops into the driver side seat as our view is now circulating around the car towards the passenger side seat. Soldier looks into the side mirror on the passenger seat and begins to speak.
Unknown Soldier: "Come on in Steve, let's take a ride down the Insanity street together and play silly mind games. I'm game. I just want to make you aware that I'm better at it because I've been coached by the master of mind fuckery and deceit. I heard a lot of what you had to come out here and say recently and now I'm going to shoot it all down like a US drone would a Taliban base. Let me get this straight... I REMIND YOU or a worser version of you... I think I have to give you a hand here, because for once I actually have been thoroughly insulted by a statement made by my opponent. For anyone to even breathe resemblance to the likes of you is an insult Steve. That's right, because I was ashamed to see you come out here and tell the world how confident you are while once again coddling Duke's balls and what appeared to be my own. That's fine Steve if you want to snuggle up next to my family jewel warmers and give me some kind of pat on the back for... What did you call it... "Great respect and credibility" Hell, if you want me and you can just get crazy in the middle of the ring this Saturday like me and Bryce's mother did just a week ago."
Unknown Soldier: "But I thought you were more of a man than that. I thought maybe you had balls of your own and would stand up to me like a man. Maybe if I make you angry Hulk will get mad and give me something to work with here other than fans trying to milk off my tits. A man so stupid to have nothing better to attack me with than my name. This coming from the man whose parents and ancestors have been real Einstein's when they came up with the three syllable Double first name of Steve Davids. I guess we all can't be as smart and intellectual as you and get names like Mike Smith, Dan Frank, or my personal favorite Steve Jason."
Unknown Soldier: "Seriously as much as David's spoke of how much he hates Franklin Fresh I think he's one in the same. Same metaphorical climb the ladder to his own reality becoming his dreams. Same 'pishy poshy' and lame respectful trash talk. Respect is for shameful dogs who disobey their master. I thought Steve Davids was supposed to be some big bad ogre or something. Nope... The sad truth is he's nothing but a Fruitcake Lite."
Unknown Soldier: "You speak of my allegiance as a bounds of faith. That may be true in the world you live, but now you've finally been subjected to the world in which SATAN! lives. In this world Steve; faith is everything. You live in a world and a mind where religion is a question and not a form of reality. I welcome you to the world of SATAN! the provider. A world where religion, life, and death is nothing but the production of my master. I am the foot soldier of the almighty. In this world Steve... SATAN! lives! and he's picking apart your nursery rhymes like a piece of fingernail caught in his teeth."
Dante Kyllen: "HAIL SATAN!"
Unknown Sioldier: "HAIL SATAN!"
Unknown Soldier reaches above his head outstretching his arm with the last proclamation of this statement. Magically a set of car keys appears in his hands that never existed before. Placing them in the ignition and starting up the car it becomes evident that this is as far of training Soldier has been versed in driving. The car slams into the front of the house as he accelerates and the top of the garage comes crashing down on top of him. He exits the car and decides it best to make his escape on foot running off into the wilderness.
XWF Record
56 - 20 - 1
1 (X) Universal Champion
4 (X) Xtreme Champion
1 (X) Tag Team Champion (w/ Doctor Louis D'ville)
1 (X) Anarchy Champion
2 (X) Superstar of the Month
Hall of Legends member inducted 9/27/20 at Relentless