It's a horrid day in Central Park, New York, New York. The wind is gusty, the snow is drifty, and the temperature is ball-tingling. Calypso sits on a blanket along one of the walk ways in his very-fashionable winter gear, sipping hot cocoa from a thermos. He rubs his mittens together and blows hot air into them. It's not even very much cold outside, mid 30s maybe.

Calypso - Yo, yo, yo! It's Calypso, bitches! That's right, the 4x, count them cunts, 4x XWF Sid Feder-motherfuckin'-weight Champion! The man, that alone in his debut match in the XWF defeated the monster Ghost Tank in his OWN kitchen, dudes. Meathook match. I mean, I may have lost a few different kinds of fluids in that match.. But, victory was mine!

Calypso keeps sipping on his cocoa as people stroll by walking their dogs or jogging or whatever they do there. A few people have dropped some change on the blanket, probably because they feel so bad for the ugly piece of shit. He looks up confused, but smiles and thanks them for their unknown generosity. They ignore him like he was a pile of garbage along the street.

Calypso - If ya'll know Calypso, you know he's all about the new shit. Fads are my thing baby.. So when Shane pulled out some Anarchy coming Thurday nights... I couldn't help myself baby! Which would bring me to my first opponent for this new era of Calypso.... Kolonopin!

Calypso stares at the camera and squints, as if he was reading something...

Calypso - Kronopin... Krap on a napkin..... Kronopkin? Kronopkin!

He wipes the sweat from his brow before he continues.

Calypso - Listen bro. Let's start off by saying, welcome to the fuckin' XWF dude. I like your jumpsuit. Reminds me of my old days when I performed in the "Black Man Group". A group of us dudes in Art School would wear skin tight, pitch black suits, and do all kinds of tribal rituals and shit. It was bad ass, but didn't last too long for some reason.

Calypso reaches behind him and pulls a large picnic basket out and places it beside him. He pulls out a large plate of spaghetti and starts twirling the pasta up with his fork.

Calypso - Since your green and all around here, I'd be happy to show you the ropes, bruh. Unfortunately for you though, I'm no dude to piss with. I beat Ghost Tank dude. The XWF Xtreme Champ right now. I have done feats, astonishing ones, that no other man can claim! When you bring your ass out there on Thursday night, expect it to be your worst Thursday night in a LONG fuckin' time, dude. Calypso's out to be the name and the face of this Anarchy brand... Cuz Calypso's all about one things, bay-bay.



Calypso - Raising Hell.

Calypso shoves a mouthful of spaghetti in his mouth and continues to talk with his mouth overflowing.

Calypso - I know you all haven't forgot about me, especially you Ghost Tank! No one forgets the style. No one forgets the piz-zaz. No one forgets the awesomeness.... of...............



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Calypso balances the plate of spaghetti on his lap and waves his arms in the air...................



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Calypso - CALYPSOOOOOOOO!!!!!