Captain!

Captain!

Captain Americhyle!!!


Why is he shouting? What is that ringing? Why is everything white? What is happening?


Captain can you hear me?

What's going on? Where am I? My head hurts.

I bet it does Cap. That was a mortar round from a tank that just went off. It took out a whole group of men, if it weren't for your shield taking the brunt of the blast you'd be a goner.

Shield? What shield?


The white starts finally fading to reveal a young man on bended knee before the man he calls Captain. The young man, an American soldier based on his uniform reaches over and grabs a circular shield and hands it to the "Captain."


Here you go sir.

Why do you keep calling me Captain and Sir?

That's your name. Captain Americhyle. The young man says kind of excited as the camera zooms out apparently confirming what the young soldier had been saying all along.

Somehow...someway...









What the F am I wearing?

It's your uniform Captain. It's what you always wear.

Cap you alright? The familiar voice of Robert Main asks. Except it's not Robert Main. It's...









ROB BARNES "THE OMEGA SOLDIER"!!!!


What the shit is going on right now? Why are you wearing that costume?

Costume? What are you talking about. It's what I always wear when we fight NAZIs.

NAZI's? Were fighting NAZI's? Where? Since when?

Germany. Since 1942. What is going on with you?

I don't know man. One second I was on the COOL Bus the next minute I wake up here with a splitting headache in this uniform. I look like a jackass. And what is this shield? You get a gun and I get a shield? What is that?

That mortar round must have really done a number on you Cap. We are closing in on Idenhaus. He's holed up in a bunker just over that ridge.

Idenhaus? Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus? That Idenhaus?

Is there any other?

I have no clue Bob. I didn't even know NAZI's were still a thing or that I could get to Germany. I don't even have a licence let alone a passport. How did I get here?

Maybe you should sit this one out Cap. I'm sure I can call another one of the Apexvengers in to help.

The Apex whats? Apexvengers? Is that what you just said?

Yes. Apexvengers. It's our team. You, me, Iron Lad, The Incredible Bulk, The Red Sparrow and Thor.

There isn't a guy with a bow and arrow?

What? No that's silly. Who the hell brings a bow and arrow to a war zone?

Right? Alright so this Idenhaus asshole, you said he's just over that ridge? Drew asks as he points to a ridge about 100 meters off into the distance. That ridge right there!

Yes, that ridge right there.

Well then let's get moving. We need to get this stuff over with I got places to be.

You do?

Yes Bob. I don't have all day to fight NAZI's. I have other obligations.

Whatever you say Cap.


Over the dead bodies and through the woods to a NAZI fuck's bunker we go.

The bullets are whizzing the ammosexuals are jizzing into the snowwwwwww.


You sure you can handle this?

Are you kidding me? I got this super amazing shield with a star on it and a costum that probably shots rockets out of it if I can find the right button.

No rockets.

Sniper rounds?

Nope.

Bullets of any kind?

Again no.

So it's just an outfit?

Yeah but you look dope AF in it.


ARF ARF ARF ARF!!!


Both the Captain and the Omega Soldier are started at the sudden and loud screeching sounds coming from one of those annoying yippie dogs that comes around from behind a massive tree. The two men see the dog for only a quick second...









...before the Omega Soldier blows the dog into chinese food with a massive sniper round.



What the F man? Why did you do that?

Did you see that thing? It was a mutant.

It was a dog.

It was the ugliest dog of all time. That was a mercy killing.

There is something extremely wrong with you my friend. You need help. Like actual professional help. Immediately.

And you need to focus. We are here to punch NAZI's in the face and yeah maybe occasionally shot a dog. So what?

Whatever man. Whatever. Are we almost there?

Yes. We just gotta take out about 10 guys that are protecting the bunker. No idea how many guys are on the inside. Our best intel estimated about a dozen but it could be more, could be less.

Wait wait wait...what? 10 guys? Then another 12? And this is ok with you? Just me and you against two dozen angry NAZI's. Just me and you.

And my gun and your shield. You keep forgetting about the shield.

Because it's a shield. It's basically just a very large coaster. What am I even supposed to do with it? Stare into the star?

Throw it.

Throw it?

Throw it.

Like a Frizbee?

Ideally yes. Throw it like a frizbee at some of those guys and just watch the magic happen.

Fine. But when this totally sucks and we get killed by angry NAZI's it's gonna be your fault.


Captain Americhyle flings the shield towards one of the NAZI soldiers and it drills him in the side sending the soldier backwards through the air about 50 yards. The shield then miraculously comes flying back to Cap like some circular boomerang.


No shit. Cap remarks to Bob Barnes.

No shit indeed. Let's do this.


Americhyle flings the shield again and again takes out another soldier as Barnes pops up from behind his cover and starts picking off the other soldiers one by one. The whole thing takes 20, maybe 30 seconds and all 10 soldiers are either dead or knocked out.


Now let's get this Idenhaus fuck and get back home.


The two men stroll upto the door like the bad mofo's that they are. They look to each other, nod their heads and in unison kick the door off the hinges and about 20 feet into the room knocking over a few soldiers who were unfortunately standing there,


Honey. We're home!


Again out comes the Shield and out comes the Omega Soldiers big ass gun. A few seconds later and everyone is dead. A sea of dead NAZI's litters the ground.

Americhyle points towards the back of the bunker where Idenhaus is trying to sneak out the back door like the bitch that he is.

The Cap and the Omega Soldier make a beeline for the back door and knock through it just as Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus approaches a clearing where it looks like a plane is attempting to land. He hears the door fly open and turns around to meet his stalkers.










Gentlemen I'm so sorry that you've come all this way for me but you see I won't be sticking around. I have very important business to attend to and well, you two just aren't that important in the grand scheme of things.


Auf Wiedersehen!!!


Suddenly and without warning the skies open and a brilliant rainbow beam flies down from the sky engulfing the plane and the very spot where N.A.Z.I. had been standing. The beam pounds the ground for a good 5 seconds before disappearing to reveal that the plane and N.A.Z.I have both been vaporized. Standing in it's place...









Sup guys? Did I miss anything? Is the battle over? Did we win? Did I save the day?


What the Fu....


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Drew! Drew! Wake up! Wake up!


As the scene fades in we see Robert Main standing over Drew Archyle shaking him violently until Drew's eyes start to slowly open up.


Bob what are you doing? What's wrong? Is the COOL Bus on fire?

No jackass! We're here!

Berlin?

Berlin? What? Germany? No. We're in Miami.

Oh. Well that works too I suppose.

You alright? You were screaming up a storm. Something about punching NAZI's and killer dogs.

Yeah bro. I had the weirdest dream. I'll have to tell you about it sometime.


Fade to the logo...






OOC: Massive props to Gamer Girl for the images. This rp would not have been possible without GG's help.