Oh hi!

I'm Dolly Waters, it's a pleasure to meet you, and your hair. Does your hair have a name? It looks like it needs a name. Because it seems like a separate entity from the rest of...

Dolly gestures with her hands in a very spirit fingery kind of away towards Dillenger's body.

...all of, well, whatever all of this: Skinny, purposefully naive, emo demi-god trying to be cute kind of thing you've got going on here. But don't get me wrong, it's not like separate looking in a Donald Trump kind of way. Not at all. The hair actually looks really nice, buuuuut just nice enough to wind up on the wrong side of a hashtag metoo accusation.

Soooo you might just want to keep Gillynger, the prototypical cliche superpower wielding wrestler dude with nefarious ambitions, totally disassociated from whatever it is your hair might be doing while you're idle and not running around being a generic fuck.

I can see it now:



Next thing ya' know, Alyssa Milano retweets that shit and BLAM! You're Harvey Weinstien. And this isn't the planet Xenu either dude, so you're going to have to like hire a lawyer, be all over the news and stand trial in a U.S. Courthouse.

You're not going to be able to like super Excalibur your way out of this.

Sure you maybe murdered a bunch of people at whatever office that Maury works from or whatever without consequence- but that's because no one pays attention to Maury. Fuck I thought he died years ago.

That's not the type of attention you need, man. You, and every other millionth play-pretend ambiguous space deity are always in the need to keep that shit on the low-low. Even especially while being the Federweight Champion of XWF. Horus H. Xenu dude! Do you know what'll happen when Calypso finds out about this? You'll be on television weekly arguing with a gap toothed squid penis in human form.

NOBODY in their right mind wants that. Especially not someone in your situation. All godly and all.

So, until you quit being such a generic , with an even faggier haircut allow me to do you a favor and take that Championship for a while.

Dolly knees Dilinger in the nads.

Just come back and holler at me when you become less interesting, which is one of the addition by subtraction kind of things.

Dillinger crumbles to the ground and Dolly covers him with the pin.

1.....



2....

4x XTreme Champion    (1x as Misty Waters)
3x Television Champion
3x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles, w/ Madison Dyson)
2x Hart Champion

4x Star Of The Month
August '24(As Misty Waters), August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory

Kickout!


"Oh shit. I just got shat on by a 'mean girl' does Rachel McAdams know you're going around, abusing her shtick? Seriously, talking smack on my hair, what are you fifteen, oh wait... you are. Well way to act exactly your age. Thanks for living up to the stereotype of your generation too. If you did any better, I would swear I was standing in the middle of Hot Topic. What's next, are you going to school me on reddit and the fine art of vlogging? Please. Gag me with a spoon and fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Your teen angst is about as edgy as a plastic spork. Sure it can cut some stuff but when it comes in contact with something substantial, it cracks. Breaks and becomes virtually useless. Which is what you are in the long run. You think that I'm generic, you're about as manufactured and boring as they come. A dime a dozen, which is pretty close to the cost of an actual fucking plastic spork. Hey but thanks for comin' out and trying to do something. I'm sure, somewhere out there, somebody finds your clever words and wit... or severe lack thereof, fascinating. Me... I just wish this episode of ICarly was over with already."


"You talk like you know me, when you don't have even the slightest inkling of who you're dealing with. Go on and continue to lie to yourself and act like you've got a lick of sense in that head of yours though. Be the cliche teen idol and make believe you know everything, when in reality, that couldn't be further from the truth. Oh but you wouldn't be a walking talking cliche if you didn't do that, right? It's cool. You do you. I really couldn't care less about your mediocre, IHeartRadio loving, CW watching, Seventeen magazine reading opinions and poor stabs at satire. Then again, I'm not in high school. So why don't you take this little attention getting tantrum elsewhere? Hmmm? Cause this here is a wrestling federation. Not the mall or your school's cafeteria. Step up to me and I will put you down, every... single... time. Without remorse. You'd do best to remember that. For the future, so you can avoid time in the trauma ward."

Winner and Still Federweight Champion: Dillinger