goddamn you're terrible. Go shove a maple leaf up yer ass you high falootin, hockey watching, moose hunting, Lane-dick taking motherfucker.

Here I'll pin you I guess.

1............





2..................................

4x XTreme Champion    (1x as Misty Waters)
3x Television Champion
3x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles, w/ Madison Dyson)
2x Hart Champion

4x Star Of The Month
August '24(As Misty Waters), August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory

Aw, pumpkin... I don't know what sort of piss-soaked cheerios Michael Graves filled your snatch with while he had you as a house guest, but kindly take them and your sour disposition elsewhere. You're going to need a lot more than that to waltz your ass back from whichever Mickey Mouse club you've been hanging out in the past month and take this title off of me.

I make it a general policy to never hit a woman, so it's a good thing you've got a few more months before puberty kicks in and my window closes. Come back and see me when your chest growth catches up to your mouth, and there's some grass on the field. I'll pitch. You catch.

Kick out, you teeny tiny teenaged twat.

Wow, I said it initially in jest, but you really are fucking terrible.

Jokes on puberty and pederasty? Am I really the underage one here?

Or have you always been secretly a little boy who enjoys fondling his own asshole on the inside while scrolling through Ryan Reynolds photos on Google?

Listen, I could give a fuck less about you or this title you inept taint stain. I was told that James Raven was something to be excited about, redundant bird name and all, something that was like breathtaking and awesome or whatever.

You're not... not by a goddamn longshot. Just look at you! You're the epitome of "done-to-death" generic fucking bullshit. For Christ fucking sakes, once again, YOUR NAME IS RAVEN. BAAWWWK! BAWWWWK!

Dude, if needed, I'd fucking work you over. But it isn't needed. You're having a pleasant enough time doing that yourself. Adiós you boring fuck.

Cute story munchkin, but don't come at me casting stones and screaming "unoriginality" when you kicked this shit off with the same recycled South Park Canadian material I've been hearing since grade school. Maple leafs, hockey and moose jokes?! Hot damn, you overflowing fountain of creativity! How do you come up with these zingers?

I told you to see me when you got some tits. This time, go grow an imagination.

You want to talk about what's needed Dolly? How it's not necessary for you to come work me over because of how terrible I am? Well you pulled out your cookie cutter and handed me the same half baked insults the rest of the roster has, one might argue it wasn't needed for me to serve up anything better. Sorry you don't like my name, and I'm sorry I don't live up to your impossibly high expectations. Luckily I'm the only one who needs to be embarrassed about falling short of expectations. I didn't even know who the fuck you are.

Don't pretend you "came here in jest". You came here hoping to pick up another worthless title to add to your resume of worthless titles. Now, you want to back away casually because you realized this tree was the wrong one and there's an easier fight and cheaper glory lurking wherever Jody Madrox is. Do yourself a favour, win something that matters and keep your distance from me.

Adios yourself, puta.

Seeing as how I'm about to add Jim Caedus' gold to my collection, can somebody please take the time out of their busy schedules to crown me over this bitch and send me my x-bux so I can get on with my life? Not you though, Vinny... you might tag yourself in and cost me the belt altogether.

Winner - Raven!