I have just written what I believe to be my best piece yet. I wanted to get some opinions please and possible improvements for future reference.

http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=2344

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I liked it, I liked it a lot! It gave background, gave us a bit of empathy for him...but it didn't make him too soft! Often, IMO, a pitfall of revealing a character's backstory is taking the edge out of him by making him too sympathetic. I think you avoid that though.

You know, Thanos of Titan, in the old comics--I say old, because I don't know if they "updated" his origin--killed his mother as she was giving birth to him, because of how he fearsomely tore through the womb.

Pretty cool origin story! I'm interesting in hearing more about his uncle!

(04-21-2013, 09:11 AM)WhiteLion Said: I liked it, I liked it a lot! It gave background, gave us a bit of empathy for him...but it didn't make him too soft! Often, IMO, a pitfall of revealing a character's backstory is taking the edge out of him by making him too sympathetic. I think you avoid that though.

You know, Thanos of Titan, in the old comics--I say old, because I don't know if they "updated" his origin--killed his mother as she was giving birth to him, because of how he fearsomely tore through the womb.

Pretty cool origin story! I'm interesting in hearing more about his uncle!

Thanks, this means a lot, and I am hoping to continue to develop both characters. That's also important to me that I didn't make my character seem weak as it was key that I avoided that because as anyone who's read my RPs my character is based on pure brutality over technique.

Hopefully I can keep the direction moving forward with my second RP of the week coming soon.

An interesting rp. I got to say after reading your rp, your character reminds me of mine so much. Future tag team maybe? haha.

The story was a nice read. It's always nice to read origin stories to give the character more depth. And it actually explains why he is what he is in the present. The ending was actually nice cause it draws the readers to watch out for more of your rps to get more questions, answered. Overall good job bro.

Thank you. Definitely possible future tag team although at the minute my singles career is going well an want to develop my character more. But definitely in the future.

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