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+--- Thread: Sidekick Searching (/showthread.php?tid=40350)
Sidekick Searching - Ned Kaye - 03-31-2021
Ned sits in front a large audition stage. He seems visibly annoyed, as if he’s been there for several hours and had no luck.
“Next!”
A strange man wearing a large sombrero and a tassled poncho walks out onto the stage.
“Ooooooo yeah. I’m the Poncho Man Dandy Lassange. I’m the official spokesperson for Fat Jones beefsticks, yeah. BREAK OUT OF A FAT JONES, yeah.”
Ned is startled by Dandy’s demeanor.
“What-uh… what skills do you bring with evil applications?”
“I can represent your brand and make it a JUSTIFIABLE force, mmm yeah. NO ONE WILL KNOW WHY they now agree with your schemes or why they want a Fat Jones, brother.”
“Uh huh. What will you do to Lil W when you get to him?”
“Oooo, when I get my hands on the little man I will introduce him into the world of the Poncho Man and he will understand the graveness of his mistake, mmyeah.”
“I… see. NEXT!”
The Poncho Man walks off, dejected.
“Where will I ever find a sidekick suitable to my genius. He must be an idiot who can still use his hands! He must be a nuisance I can talk down to and no one will think any the wiser! He must be troublesome so that our antics shall travel through the social media sphere! And he must be marketable to Alaskans!”
Dr. Kaye thinks it over.
“I know it! It shall be you Lil W! Your idiocy combined with my brilliance shall create an unstoppable combination of power! And I don’t even need to lobotimize you to make you a dumb enough assistant! Your days of not being my lab assistant are number, W! Soon, I shall mock you at my side and show Ethan what he’s missing out on! Just you see!”