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+--- Thread: Feedback Request: "American Beauty" (/showthread.php?tid=25401)
"American Beauty" - ElizaThorne - 10-31-2016
I posted my first RP, titled "American Beauty" yesterday to a pretty astounding positive reaction (thank you all so much!) but as I re-read it, it didn't feel quite right for reasons I can't quite put my finger on.
I'm curious if anyone else has caught the same thing and can put it into words better than I can, or just has any other bits of feedback to give.
Link below:
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=25380
re:"American Beauty" - Dolly Waters - 11-01-2016
I really enjoyed it
re:"American Beauty" - Dolly Waters - 11-01-2016
But without re reading it, I think there were some areas where it kind of drifted between 3rd and first person narration. Maybe I'm wrong, but either way, still very good. I'll go back and read it again later