#BullyDuke


We open up on the little guy playing the part of Thaddeus Duke, his legs dangle off the couch as he sits silently contemplating to himself while looking over a chessboard in mid-game, a gust of wind distracts him momentarily before a match strikes and he looks to the man playing Doctor D'Ville in front of him sparking up a cigar, "Thad" goes to speak but can't find the words. The doctor smiles as he exhales a plume of smoke.

"Hello, my good friend."

Doc picks up the king piece and rolls it between his fingers, Thad greets the man.

"Hey, Doc, didn't expect you to swing by."

"Ah... I was in the area."

He says with a wry smile placing the king piece back and moving a pawn forward.

"How are you feeling?"

"Thaddeus" chuckles to himself moving a pawn of his own.

"I'm doing well, I'm back and I'm not stopping short."

Doc moves a knight over and gets "Thad" in a precarious position.

"Not like last time then..."

"Thad" looks to "Doc" confused, protecting his king. Doc quickly takes a bishop sacrificing his knight to the queen.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean don't allow your ego to blind your sight. I've seen better men misstep and meet a..."

"Doc" swipes the queen with a bishop and ends the game.

"Checkmate."

"Thad's" eyes don't leave "Doc."

"Are you saying you don't believe I can get the job done?"

"Not at all! Why would I give you that gauntlet if I didn't believe in you? It's not a mere toy to live out some childish fantasies, it's a gift of respect, power, and responsibility. Do you think you are ready for that Thaddeus?"

"Thad" hesitates.

"I know I need to prove myself, to re-earn people's respect here. To show that I can be a true king... Yes, Doc, I'm ready."

Exhaling heavily, "Doc" smiles with a kind nod.

"I'm glad to hear that... Now..."

"Doc" snubs out his cigar on the board.

"Lemme give those balls a good ol' gargle."

A funky bass line plays and Doc begins to get on his knees. I quickly hit pause and stare at the frozen scene on the laptop.

"... Fuck me I made a gay porno..."

I close the laptop and rub me temples thinkin' I could finally make an interesting Duke promo but couldn't get it done with that shit of a person. Coffee is placed beside me and I look to it before looking up at this cunt who's been haunting me recently.

"Personally, I think you did an excellent job."

I roll my eyes under his sarcasm as he chuckles.

"Could I get the details of the man portraying me? I'd love his autograph."

"Fuck off ya two-timing slut."

Doc feigns heartbreak as he steps back.

"Noah, I'm offended! After all I have done for you?"

"Cunt, what!?" I spin around in me chair to face him. "All you've done is fuck me head up! Keep reminding me that my dad won't talk to me, that I got hit by a car! By the way ya dense ballbag, I don't like reliving! Ya just keep poking and jabbing and for what!? Your own gain ya cunt! You've done fuck all and are playin' me by siding with Thad too! You're just hedging your bets!"

"Oh am I now?"

His tone changes, turning more stern.

"Then tell me, Noah, if you know exactly what I'm doing then please tell me what happens next."

Silence. I sneer staring at him.

"You began as a punchline. Have you not seen yourself getting more confident and angrier with each step in this tournament? Have you not noticed how driven you have truly become?"

"So what, cunt? You're responsible for that?"

"I won't take the credit, Noah. You became this yourself..."

Doc turns around and begins to walk away as I keep my eyes on him. He stops short and looks behind.

"I just wanted to send you down a path to see what you could become."

Doc exits the set. My body relaxes as I turn back around and take a sip of the coffee.

---

"One night."

"One promo."

"A few words."

"All it took for Thaddeus Duke to get out of his comfort zone and make what could have been an interesting promo."

"And trust Thad to fuck it up."

---

"A world in which I am King of everything you see."

---

"Because God fuckin' forbid Thaddeus Duke doesn't get what he wants in life. No hardship, no struggle, just I'm king of this place! Why? Fuck you that's why. Mopey child one minute having pep talks hand-delivered to him to '"Come on Seb, come see how cool I am!'"

"You actually fuckin' suck, cunt."

"And even when it goes tits up! There's this..."

---

“No matter what happens,” I said to my dearest friend.  “Just stay behind me.”

---

"Yeah, tell that to SEB. The cunt who main evented a pay-per-view that you weren't invited to on account of how fuckin' irrelevant you are in this big wide world and fuckin' won against my dear ol' dad. By the way, me and Shawn are blood-related but of course, you wouldn't know that despite everything that has occurred in the past because it didn't involve you so why should you care, cunt? But yeah, you tell this to Sebastian because you're worried about him."

"..."

"Cunt, I love to tell you this but SEB is better than you in every way imaginable. Cunt is GOOD. But your shit cunt fuckin' ego just can't let the people in your life be better than you, nah, they need to be cum socks for you to jerk off into. They need to be cardboard cutouts for you to prop your miserable, shallow life up because YOU have literally nothing goin' for you."

"Sebastian Duke paved your way and what do you go an' do, cunt? Trash him, beat him up and try and take his well-earned Hall of Legends spot for yourself instead of actually trying to create your own spot."

"Theo Pryce, former king, legend, massive cunt! What do you do with him? He cradles your sack."

"Doctor Louis D'Ville, one of the most fascinating figures in XWF history, two-time king, legend, also a massive cunt. You make up in your head that you are somehow on his level, that he has love and undying respect for you while he cradles your little baby balls and pats you on the back."

"The only person you give an ounce of care for is Frankie and you push him relentlessly... Cunt, no one gives a shit about Frankie. I hope Frankie gets stuck in a glue trap and fuckin' starves to death. Shut up about him! OR better yet, focus him in ya shit promos and let him carry you instead."

"SAGA... A team you may or may not be a part of... I honestly have no fuckin' idea because none of you cunts do anything together! Jesus fuckin' Christ, what a waste of a somewhat decent name! But when you came back with the awe of the crowd and your fuckin' fireworks where you dicked over Chris Page to make yourself feel smarter than you are and licked Theo's taint, everyone expected you to raise Saga up to the top..."

"We're still waiting, cunt."

"Fucking, Thad, do SOMETHING!"

"You say nothing, you have added NOTHING! You finally raise your level to do something that could actually be fun for fuckin' once and you dick it! Cunt you also stole my fuckin' lines! Mass-produced, no substance shit. I called you that and you say it right back to me without a hint of fuckin' irony! What a cunt! Makes sense I suppose, you steal Chris Jericho's Lionheart shit so what's wrong with stealin' my shit too, ya dog cunt!"

"... And you used to hang out with Chris Page too who also stole from Jericho..."

I let out a long Hmmm as I stroke my chin and ponder before waving that thought off.

"Fuck Jenny Myst elbowing me along in her first promo, Thad just blatantly took my shit! This is next-level dumbfuckery right here, cunt. I'd be impressed if I wasn't so fuckin' blinded by your stupidity."

"Speakin' of that cunt, she called me a bully and I claimed not to be. I don't think I am, cunt, I truly don't. I am a pillar of justice! Morally right and always sick. I don't bully people, I tell 'em the truth! But when I posted on Twitter saying #BullyDuke, I meant it. Because in my life, growing up, I saw other children doing dumb, cringe shit and what set 'em right?"

"Good ol' bit of bullyin', cunt."

"And when I see Thaddeus Duke walkin' around with his head held high for no apparent reason. Tryna garner sympathy one minute than backhanding me step-mum, Atty, the next after he has called her such a great friend. When I see a slimy cunt thinkin' he can get away with skating the line and claiming to be better than the rest when it is clear he is mid as fuck just rustles my feathers right up, cunt."

"You need a bit of bullyin' in ya life, Thad. It will make you better."

"Shit, one promo from me and you and SEB are posing in metal codpieces. The most interesting thing you've done since your return and it's all because of me, cunt, you're very welcome!"

"Shame, it's dog shit and is gonna end with the same ol' Thaddeus fellatio but hey! Can't fault you for tryin'."

"I tell the truth all the fuckin' time, and as Gravy said, I'm Nostra-fuckin'-damas when it comes to callin' out people's shit. And this fuckin' medieval escapade is gonna end in one way, Thad- Oop spoilers!"


"Great stuff, cunt! Five-fuckin'-stars."

Heavy amount of sarcasm on that cunt.

"Here's the bottom line, cunt, you're not amazing. You're just fine. An okay wrestler. A very boring human being. An egotistical little fuckwad. Awful talker. You're bad at the game, cunt and you've been playin' on easy all your life."

"Maybe, once you were something, you were special and you did stuff... But you're in the same boat as me now, cunt, that past shit don't fuckin' matter and we're starting from scratch. But go ahead and ask people who they're bettin' on in this match, ask 'em all who has more to prove and ask 'em who the sickest cunt in the world is and the answer every time will be ME, cunt."

"Not one person in the universe wants Thaddeus Duke in a crown, that is literal hell! Who do they want, cunt?"

"ME! I'm the dark horse, I got something to prove, I have earned that!"

"Not YOU! Some shit cunt who thinks he can waltz back and demand to be matched with the big boys, cunt, you need to WORK for that shit and you haven't worked in years you fuckin' hobgoblin!"

"You use people, you take the easy path, you aren't owed anything!"

"You deserve the bullying, cunt."

"You need to show people you're not a one-dimensional fucktard has-been like ya dad."

"You need to prove that you're actually as good as you think you are."

"And, cunt, trust me, if you don't prove that in the ring with me, you're gonna be sobbing on the canvas while I move on to get what I have fuckin' earned."

"Or do carry on actin' like a petulant toddler thinkin' the word revolves around ya, I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck, cunt. I kinda hope you get tried and hung for bein' a witch in Medieval Times for puttin' sleep spells on people when you talked for a length of time... But when it comes time to you gettin' lynched you fly off on SEB's coattails like you been doin' that entire dogshit of a promo and it turns out HE was a witch all along!"

"..."

"Shit if that happens maybe we'll finally get an interesting promo from you."

"..."

"Nah you'll find a way to fuck it up and make it boring, you always do, cunt."

"See ya in a short while, Thad."

FORMER:



W | L | D
226 | 11 | 81

Star of the Month (August 2019)
1/3 Star of the Month (January 2020) with Fuzz and our Subaru
RP of the Month (November 2019) with Big Disappointment