Figurative | fig·u·ra·tive | \ ˈfi-g(y)ə-rə-tiv
Of or relating to representation of form or figure in art. In other words, to explain something in relation to something else.

October 3rd, 2022

Silvana flipped her pen around her index finger, a delicate grace guiding it safely back into her grasp. Today was particularly exciting for her, at least as exciting as any old days could be. She pulled a cigarette she had, quietly burning in her other hand, closer to her lips. The smoke filled her lungs with a careful caress as she smothered a cough with the back of her hand. She exhaled, watching as the last whisps of smoke that escaped her glimmer in the harsh studio lighting. There was a beauty in the way in which it reflected little strands of light, but kept its form amorphus and fluid. No one shape truly was the smoke, the pattern that could be recognized as it. It was only through accepting all of it, as disconnected and random as it may first appear as "it" in which its true elegance could be observed. She smiled softly as she pressed the hot end of her cigarette into a glass ash tray, snuffing the flame out save for tiny embers. Now was the time to make a few phone calls.

Now was the time to see the rest of this "Ned Kaye."

---

The young man walked in, his eyes darting over the dark setup Ms. Nightingale had intricately prepared. A microphone dangled above the seat, several cameras pointed at the chair reserved for him, a rather comfortable looking one at that. He sat down, rubbing his hands together a little as she asked her first question.

"Please state your name for the cameras."

"Uh..."

He hesitated, running hand over the scar beneath his right eye before his focus was finally regained.

"Ethan Davis."

"And your relationship to Mr. Kaye?"

"I was.... I was his best friend."

"Your choice of past-tense is very interesting."

"Well, ever since he basically imploded, I can't say he's been real friendly towards me."

"Would you care to add a few more details, Mr. Davis?"

Ethan adjusted his shirt a tad, as he began to tear up slightly, just barely keeping the emotions inside.

"Yeah... he-uh, he didn't hurt me or anything, but he made sure to scare the heck out of me before he went off to do that whole Avalanche thing..."

"And how did that make you feel?"

He looked at her with an utterly confused face, trying to piece together how she expected a positive answer out of him.

"Pretty awful. Of course, it felt horrible- I mean, I had gone through hell for him. Helped him through a relapse, got this," he pointed towards his scar, a few angry tears falling down his cheeks, "for my trouble and he just dropped me like it was nothing... like years of friendship was a drop in the bucket compared to whatever crazy crap he had planned. I'm not gonna lie, he helped me and my folks out financially, but... I can't say that I'm itching to call him again."

"So, he's a bad person, you would say?"

Ethan, once again, hesitated.

"...I don't wanna say that. But what he is... is someone I don't need in my life right now. He's trouble and the more you learn about him, the closer you are to getting burnt by his own personal issues. I don't like saying that... but it's true."

"I see... thank you for your time, Mr. Davis."

"Well, thanks for having me, I suppose."

---

"Fake "goody-two-shoes" piece of shit."

James "AnarChrist" Daggard spat the words out like venom from his mouth. Silvana had heard his excitement at a chance to air grievances with Ned Kaye even through the phone but seeing it in person was something else. Certainly, she had become fairly numb to perverse anger, but this was something far beyond that. A hatred that was deeply seeded and equally rare.

"He acts like he's some independent hero, but what did he ever do for any of us other indie folk? You think he came to me with a contract and said, "Hey Jim, you did a great job, why don't you give the big leagues a shot?" No, he turned his back on me every time he's gotten a single chance to!"

"As I understand, you and Mr. Kaye have been at odds for almost the entirety of your careers."

"Of course, we have. I'm the real deal and Ned is some tryhard poser having fun at the expense of others. Everyone's given him an easy path while the rest of us have to try ten times harder for that lazy, thankless ass!"

"Weren't you involved in personally running a company Ned wrestled in?"

"More than one."

"And you still claim Ned was given chances you yourself were not?"

"...Indeed, I do. Because as much as you'd like to think I had some hand in trying to squash his career, I didn't. And I didn't get much out of him anyway. You think promoters saw a Ned match and came to management to ask how to get us on board? No, they'd call him up and he'd leave the rest of us in the dust. So, when you tell me that he didn't care about going to see his family or such and such, you might as well be tellin' me the sky's blue. That little nefarious act he did? That was the real Ned Kaye. That's the Ned I know and not a single nice word is gonna make that change."

---

"So-uh, is this thing on?"

"Yes, Mr. Pheelanruff, it is indeed powered on."

Dr. Urias Pheelanruff sat on the edge of his chair, nearly lifting the other side up as he sat impatiently, clearly a little excited and scared over getting his actual opinions asked for.

"You know, I always wanted to be in a commercial! I think I mighta been in one once, but this one seems like a much bigger deal-"

"Doctor-"

"And honestly, anything I can do to help Ned out a little is good by me because he might have a few rough edges, but he's really kinda misunderstood because people see the whole Avalanche bad guy group thing and think, "that guy's a jerk," but it's so much more complicated and-"

"Doctor!"

"Y-yes, M'am?"

Silvana nearly broke her pen with the pressure of it against her notepad.

"You have been prattling on for nearly ten minutes now. I will stand no more of your useless jibber-jabber, understand? You've wasted my footage and time more than enough."

He shamefully lowered his head and nodded, a little scared of this burst of fury from the woman.

"A-absolutely, miss!"

"What was your relation to Ned Kaye?"

"Well... that's so complicated because I was kinda like a buddy sidekick who would help him get out of some wacky schemes that I typically thought up or he'd trick me into, it was a fun, little-"

She stared daggers into Urias. He gulped, ceasing his speech before uttering one more word.

"Therapist."

"As I understand, your therapy has been criticized for not only being likely ineffective, but your enabling of Ned during his mental breakdown as The Nefarious One led to you losing your medical license, didn't it?"

"...It did."

"So, clearly Ned is to blame for this at least somewhat, correct? He took advantage of your naivete to get cleared despite a horrible mental state."

"I don't... No. That's unfair. Sure, I messed up and didn't see more of what was going on, but Ned only started getting better because of the support group he had there, even if he arranged it for a bad purpose. The guy only ever hurt himself and I still get letters from with the occasional check."

"You mean to say he still pays you?"

"Only from time to time. He always sends the checks with a little "I'm Sorry" note. I know it's easy to act like he was some irredeemable jerkface, but he was a vulnerable, hurt person going through a rough time on a huge stage. Imagine if your worst moment got to be on TV for a buncha strangers to see? I might feel hurt by some of his actions and words from that time, but I think he's just tryin' to get everything together like the rest of us... and I'm still rooting for him!"

---

"Nathaniel, you haven't spoken since you sat down. Is there something unclear about my inquiry?"

Nate Kaye sat across from her, avoiding eye contact. He had been in deep thought since he got there, but her question seemed to be causing him a great deal of strife.

"I suppose I will ask again. What is your relation to Ned Kaye?"

He rested his chin on a closed fist as he stared into the vacant space behind Nightingale, looking to find an answer that simply wouldn't come to him.

"I don't know exactly how to answer that."

"Well, I would suspect that "brother" is an acceptable answer. Please inform me if I am incorrect."

"You are."

Silvana's ears perked as she leaned in, visibly more interested in this specimen than the few that preceded him.

"Please elaborate."

"Yes, we are brothers, but I wouldn't say that gives me a "relation to" Ned. Not anymore. When he went off the deep end, he seemed content to let Mom and I worry our asses off, especially let me just keep on running his gym without even bothering to show his face. Do you know how often someone would come in, someone from our community who was worried about him, and they'd ask me what was going on with him and I'd be speechless? Countless times. I didn't find out until months into his disappearance that he was calling Mom every day during that Nefarious bullshit just to reassure her. But did I ever get a call? Did I ever get a thank you?"

"I am assuming no."

"Good assumption. I got left with all the worry, all the work, and a nothing apology after he finally came back following all of that Chameleon stuff. And you know what really hurt? The idea that he'd rather cut me and Mom and everyone out of his life rather than admit he made mistakes."

"But didn't he do exactly that?"

"Yeah, months after dropping off the face of the Earth with nobody sure where the hell he was. I was sure he had finally... done it, so to speak. I only found out my brother was alive because of some over the hill wrestler giving me a courtesy call. So, no, I'm not thrilled with Ned. I don't know when I'm going to want to be around him again."

"Because of how he pushed you away."

Nate shook his head, wiping a few droplets from underneath his eyes.

"Because of how he thought he had to."

---

Ms. Nightingale's final subject was much different than the ones that came before. A woman, roughly Ned's age, give or take a few years, she was a tad short and a bit overweight, her brunette hair draped over her glasses as she came in. She looked rather disorganized yet collected herself as best she could.

"Ms. Ellis, could you please state your name for the cameras."

"Darcy... Darcy Ellis."

"And your relation to Ned?"

"I'm like an assistant slash former psychiatrist programmer overseer lady slash... friend, I guess. When he was doing the experimental Chameleon project after his meltdown, I was basically in charge of looking after him."

"And what do you think of Mr. Kaye?"

She stayed quiet, looking to the side.

"...Is he going to see this? Like, at all?"

"No. Feel free to speak as openly as you'd like."

Darcy decompressed before closing her eyes and letting her words carry how she felt.

"Ned Kaye is one of the best people I have ever met in my life."

Silvana tilted her head, still not believing what she had heard as it was processed further.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's true. Because I was basically in charge of looking at his brain and how he feels about things, and you have no clue how much shit that guy has been through. Because I cannot imagine life shitting on me as often or as hard as it has Ned and he just kinda finds something every time to keep going. It's unreal. I got to monitor a lot of his brain and see how much he cares for everyone around him. How much he loves so many people. That's not to make excuses for him, he obviously should and can do better, but he cares for people in ways I don't think most will ever understand."

"Please assist us in comprehending, Ms. Ellis."

"Well... he got an experimental cancer drug for my sister's treatment. He paid for it, it got stolen, and then he led like a little team of wrestlers to go get it. But the thing that got me... was that he didn't say a word of it to me. I found out from the hospital by accident, but he was really going to do whatever he could to help my sister recover and not even tell me! Like, I like to think I'd be that humble, but no! If I did something like that for Ned, I'd rub it right in his face and make a big show about it and he knows that! But regardless, he just did it and kept onwards like it was just a tiny, beautiful miracle."

"So, you think he did this because he cares about you?"

"That's the thing... I don't know. I'm sure he considers me a good friend, we're basically the only ones out of that Chameleon project who weren't complete lunatics, save Dougie, but I don't think that's why. It didn't hurt, but I think he just did it because he lost someone to cancer, and it was his way of trying to do something right. Just to not have someone else have to face death or loss in the way his father or he did. And he'd gladly go a lifetime without anybody even realizing that's what happened. So, yeah, I think rather highly of him, but the last thing I need is him getting a big head over it."

"Any particular reasons for that?"

"Well, duh, it's harder to make fun of him then! It's not rocket science, psh."

---

---

---

Ned walks into frame wearing a WWF(World Wildlife Fund) shirt. He seems visibly uncomfortable in being present, but takes a deep breath before speaking.

"It's important that I choose my next few words rather carefully."

"Typically, X is the only letter I pair with WF in my daily life or otherwise. I've been a fan of this company for almost as long as I've merely been, so I've had to watch and withstand a lot of shit. But this? This is uniquely frustrating. I've had my problems with the owner in the past, but Vinnie isn't usually that bad. Sure, he makes jokes, he treats certain people with outright disdain, and exemplifies pettiness, but he is usually a decent guy. This is not one of those times. This is "Minis" division Lane. The Lane that celebrates people's differences, not because it makes them unique, but because it makes them more personally amusing to him. This is the very same Lane that thought I would amount to very little, and he seems intent on making his prediction hold some weight."

"So, he thought it would be an absolute hoot and a holler if I wrestled a literal gorilla. Shit, he thought it was SUCH an amazing idea, that he went one step further and got some shitty VFX and a gorilla costume and started getting some shitfaced intern to trash talk me as the gorilla. It's almost impressive how he finds time to run a company while he's pulling this kind of shit out. So, for my warm welcome back to Warfare, Vinnie basically did everything he could to let me know that the joke's on me."

"Except there's one little issue there, Vincent. Joke's on you."

"See, I'm not going out there to indulge your little carny curtain jerk by beating up a defenseless animal, no no no. I'm taking your "toy" away from you. Does that mean I think you'll never grab this gorilla again just to spite me? No, I'm under no such illusions, but you're goddamn mistaken if you think this is man versus nature. This is Free fucking Willy, Lane, and when I bring that animal, who deserves to be treated with dignity, respect, and kindness back to the wilderness where it belongs, I'm coming back, and I am mopping the floor with whatever HUMAN asshat you have me face next. Shit, maybe I'll go find an HR nightmare that you gladly turn a blind eye to and start addressing that because the only way I can expect you to address anything involving me is with a JPEG of a great ape!"

"And you know it's not just this handful of issues! How many times does an owner of this company get involved in an evil organization, a cult, or whatever debauchery Chris Chaos is up to at a given moment? I even have to talk to Theo about it sometimes because it's truly ridiculous. That's not to say I'm holier than anyone, I've made my mistakes, but if this company's irresponsible management gave any fewer apologies, they'd be in the negative. They'd be in "Sorry-debt." I don't even know what the hell that would look like, but this company absolutely would default on regret than dare feel a little shame now and then."

"Jesus Christ, this fucking company as of late. This is what I was warning about when I said BoB was a bad thing from the start..."

Ned walks off, quietly ranting as he shakes his head.

"You can't run from yourself."