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FrankenFuckery
Author Message
Unknown Soldier Offline
HAIL SATAN!



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Post: #1
05-11-2022 11:58 PM

[Image: ward_frankenstein_124.gif]

“Beware; for I am fearless, and therefore powerful.”

I am the monster that they said I was... Hideous and abhorrent as I ever and forever can be. Evil is incarnate and most indefinitely undescribable in the description of my days since I was born. Ugliness is not something that can be quantified only by the outward appearance to which it normally is accustomed to being linked. A scar on the face, or a mole with growing hair in the middle of the forehead. My ugly is a product of my within. The diagram of deceit that I've drawn up in my mind would send shivers down the spines of the most heinous serial killers of all time. A sinister plot that can only be conceived by the father of lies himself. Because when I stare back at my reflection I see the same smile and the same stare. I see the same smirk and the same scoff. I see the same scene and the same self. I see ME! The same sick sadomasochist since the beginning that bore the thought of evil since its inception. Take a long look back at my reflection and you'll see if you stare back long enough into the fire glowing in the back of my black lifeless-looking eyes. You will see no moles or scars putting a major blemish on my pretty face. But deep within that glare, you will know that ugly is as introverted as it is incipient in nature. No amount of makeup or lipstick can hide the monstrous look on my face.

[Image: giphy.gif]

"Lightning cracks the sky over the horizon with a menacing looking black castle far off in the distance. Dark black columns of marble and brick interwoven as if the castle were made to look expensive and interesting but obviously could not hide the fact that it was in fact cheap and tacky. The lightning looks more like a flashlight turning off and on in the background through a paper towel tube. A green screen comes tumbling down to reveal that the castle is nothing but a cardboard cutout and the background is a stolen scene from the movie Twister with that cow spiraling off into the air aimlessly. The sound of the lightning is far too loud to the point of piercing your ears and fuzzy sounding like it can't completely be broadcast in a constant sound, but with bits of silent interjecting in between the abnormally loud blasts. Speaking of loud blasts from the past....

"IT'S ALIVE!!!!!"

Screams Jon Taffer as he comes onto the scene stepping on top of and tripping over the cardboard castle cut out completely and falling flat on his face.

"Cut!! Cut!! Cut!!"

A voice proclaims loudly from the corner of the small abandoned building that is revealed to be the location of where this shitty horror movie was being filmed. Barking these orders from the corner of the room through a large megaphone in a tiny room is the sickest and most sinister villain in the history of the XWF, Unknown Soldier.

"Damnit Igor! I told you not to step on the set for the 666th time!"

"I told you already, my name is not Igor it's Jon Taffer!"

"Who the fuck is Jon Taffer!"

The reality tv star pulls out his driver's license and hands it to Soldier, who stands up from his director's chair to procure it from him. He studies it and wrinkles up his face to show his confusion.

"You can't fool me Igor with your AARP cards!"

The demonic do-badder says while smacking the license right out of Taffer's hands and sending it sailing across the room.

"I usually only show up when someone needs to be fixed and shown the errors of their old ways. Sort of a 'ghost of Christmas past' type thing if you will."

"What have I told you about breaking character! Do you think Mary Shelley would appreciate you comparing her work to Charles Dickens and making a mockery of the greatest horror story of all time?"

"I'm a bar rescue celebrity tv star that was suddenly thrown into the mix with some shitty horror movies that seem written by a stoner kid with a lot of sick porn fetishes and a lot of time on his hands. I've been breaking character left and right!"

"Alright, well I guess there's only one thing left for you to do then... The only purpose you could possibly serve in this certain scenario we find ourselves most curiously combined."

Soldier steps over towards the device that was obviously the main scene to be shot later in the movie. The most 'electrifying' scene in horror movie classic history. The giant table with light leather fasteners to wrap around his wrists and ankles and strap himself down onto the long metal slab on which he lay on top. A trail of wires and steel metal beams channel their way up towards the ceiling and out into the midnight sky attached to the table where Soldier now strapped himself into and placed a metal hat on top of his head to form the conduction from the electricity to pulse through his veins. Black and empty had that sky been for the entirety of that night.

"I need you to flip the switch, so I can reinvigorate my career and send a shockwave through my system to start all over again."

"It's been clear skys all night I'm not sure..."

"Flip the fucking switch Igor, and send me back to my badass Soldier self! Leap of Faith is on the way!"

Jon Taffer flips the switch on the wall timedly and shaking uncontrollably.

"Now SATAN!"

A sudden bolt of lightning strikes the metal rod sticking up through the ceiling and into the sky connected to the metal table that Soldier was strapped into and sends the entire scene into a shockwave of flashing lights and comes to an abrupt end.

"IT'S ALIVE!"

[Image: MGncwBi.jpg]

XWF Record
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2 (X) Superstar of the Month
Hall of Legends member inducted 9/27/20 at Relentless
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