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Current XWF board time: 10-27-2021, 10:05 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                
X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » XWF Live! » 24/7 X-treme Championship
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Help me?
Author Message
Hotdog Offline
Now in new North Korean War Pig flavour!



XWF FanBase:
Green as Grass

(sloppy in the ring; botches moves regularly; shows up when fans are hoping for anyone else)


Post: #1
10-12-2021 09:04 PM

Hotdog, in his(???) super sexy dress stumbles from one hallway to another.

"Oink?! Oink, oink oink oink oink?!"

Spoiler :
"Jim?! Jim, are you in here?!"

Sure enough, he is! Hotdog rounds a corner to find Jim Caedus playing tic tac toe against Bam Miller's lifeless corpse, with Jim moving Bam's arms for him. This might be the future. Or not. I don't know. Residual interdimensional energy gave Hotdog magic shapeshifting powers or something, so maybe time travel is an option too? Just shut the fuck up and roll with it.

"Oink! Ooink Oink Oink ooink oink! Oink oink oink oink."

Spoiler :
"Jim! Thank God I found you! I need your help."

Caedus studies Hotdog's new body, and asks the question we all want to know.

"Is there a space in yah ass fah someone tah put their hand?"

Is that how he talks? Who fucking knows.

"Oink? Oink oin'k oink! Ooiin'k oink oink oink oink! Oink oink oink oink! Oink oink Oink, ooin'k ooiinnk oink oink ooink ooiinnk oink ooink oink oink, oink Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink ooink. O'ink oink oink oink Ooink oink oink oink oink ooiinnk, oink oink ooiinnk ooink ooiinn'k oink oink oink oink oink oink oink ooiinnkk oink oink. Oink oink oink ooink oink Oink oink oink oink oink oink ooiinnk' oink oink Oink, oink Oink ooiinnk oi'nk ooiinnkk oink oink oink oink oink oink ooink oink ooiinnk. Oink O'ink oink oink oink. Oink oink oink oink ooiinnk ooiinnk ooiink ooink, oink oink oink oink ooiinnkk oink oink, oink oink ooink oink oink oink oink oink oink."

Spoiler :
"What? I don’t know! There's no time for that! I need your help! Just like Marf, you're plowing one of those witches in their back sty, and I need you to get them to give me back my pork sword. I'd have gone to Alias with his love of puppets, but that fucking freak wouldn't know a big dick if he was slobbing on it. And the only other way I know of to get the witches' help is Marf, but I figured he'd probably want to get on up in these guts instead. So I'm left with you. You may be a walking fucking garden gnome, but you are a complete dick too, so at least you know what a cock is."

Caedus doesn’t really respond. Instead, he grabs Hotdog, flips him over, and reveals his puppet hole for the world to see! Ever the inquisitive type, Caedus shoves his hand on in, and holds Hotdog high into the air like the pig is a sword and Jim just turned into He-Man.

"I hav' tah power!"

Does putting an apostrophe instead of an E even make a difference there? STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!

"Oink oink oink oink, oink ooiinnk ooiinnk! Oink oink oink oink ooiink ooiinnk oink oink oink oink. Oink oink oink oooiinnkk oink oink oink oink-ooiinnk oink, OINK! Oink ooiin'k ooiink ooink oink ooiink oink Ooiink Ooiinnk'k ooiinnkk oink oooiinnkk oink Oink oink oink ooink oink... ooiinnkk(?) oink Oink ooiin'k oink oink ooiinnk ooink oink!"

Spoiler :
"Get out of me, you fucking buffoon! I can feel your stubby fingers in my pork ribs. I need to transform back into an ass-kicking pig, ASAP! This bitch's karate chops are weaker than Charlie Nickles's attempts at relevancy and I have a match like... tomorrow(?) that I haven't done a fucking thing for!"

Giddy with glee, Caedus trips and falls and dies or something. Again, I don't know. Maybe he's alive? Fucking whatever. With his shoulders down and his hand still stuck inside Hotdog, XWF official Richard Wang walks by with a whole bunch of white powder clearly visible around his nose. He assumes this to be a pin attempt and drops to the ground.

1...

(Why the fuck would this even get a two count?
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JimCaedus (10-13-2021)
Charlie Nickles Offline
The Nickleman



XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)


Post: #2
10-12-2021 09:57 PM

Never help a police officer, Caedus. That was your first mistake. Death to the pigs.

[Image: h3DenEV.png]
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JimCaedus (10-13-2021)
JimCaedus Offline
---------------R.B.F.T.L.---------------
TITLE - X-treme Champion



XWF FanBase:
Mixed

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


Post: #3
10-13-2021 09:02 AM



By the time Jims finished pissing on someone's grave- someone you'd call him a dick over for doing it, not someone deserving of it like Goebbels, Steve Irwin or shit serfs who live in New Zealand -and sauntered back from the graveyard wing of the 24/7 Halls here in XWF Mobile HQ, he's just in time to catch Hotdog's haphazard Henson-handjob transformation stumbling in.


Stuck in the form of Miss Piggy- though oddly still unable to speak English while, even more vexing, still somehow saying (and being subtitled with) Piggy catch phrases like "Hiiiiiii-YAH!" -shehe wanders over to and begins oinking at Caedus Clone v2, the latter busy playing Tic Tac Toe with Bam Miller's fresh corpse Weekend At Bernie's style.


As he joins Arcana, taking a handful of popcorn from the bag she's picking through. Oh I fuckin' LOVE Hotdog! Hey I thought we sealed that tear in the fabric of Space and Time? Gesturing towards Bam's body.


Apparently not, hun.


"Is there a space in yah ass fah someone tah put their hand?"


Aw hell, I set the Clone speech to 80s Fat Albert drawl. Oh well. Hey what's Hotdog squealin' about?


Poofing a pair of Universal Translator ear buds with subtitles capabilities and hands them to Jim. Check it out babe...


Jim listens for a bit, grinning, until- Heeeeeeey...is that narrator makin' fun 'a my way 'a speakin'? I talk like REAL people you honkey sumbitch!!


"Honkey"?


Well...yeah. Pork, the other white meat?


Charlie meanders into the hallway, moments after Caedus Clone v2 drops for a pin from Hotdog.


Oh shit, it's Chuckers...watch this, baby-


Uh, Jimmy..something's wrong. She points to the Clone currently smoking and spitting sparks.


The two turn to eachother slowly and in unison:


Short CIRCUIT!!


The couple dives for safety as Caedus Clone v2 blows up-






-translating to an explosive

KICK OUT!!

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Shout out to Gator/Noah Jackson for this kickass banner

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Shout out to Lycana for this kickass banner

~XWF ALL TIME TOP 50 - #6!!!!
~XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - 1x
~XWF XTREME CHAMPION - 2x (current)
~XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION w/Chaos then Engy, w/APEX - 2x
~XWF 24/7 Briefcase - 2x
~XWF Trio Tag Champion w/Ax3 - 1x
~XWF Television Champion - 1x (undefeated)
~XWF Federweight Champion - 2x
~XWF Triple Title Holder - 1x (TV, Federweight & 24/7 case)
~XWF Double Title Holder - 3x (TV/Feder, Uni/Trio & Tag/24/7 case)
~XWF 2017 Lethal Lottery IV Tournament winner!!
~XWF 2017 Leap of Faith Rafter Match winner!!
~XWF 2017 2nd Annual Doc D'Ville Hosted Shove-It Rumble Co-Winner w/Chaos!!
~XWF 2017 War Games Co-Winner with Robert Main and Drew Archyle as APEX!!
~XWF Feb. 2017 J. Federweight Scramble Winner!!
~XWF January 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Like a Moth to the Flame"
~XWF February 2017 Star of the Month!!
~XWF March 2017 3-Way Star of the Month!!
~XWF September 2017 RP of the Month!! - "Lions and Tigers and Caedus, Oh Shit"
~XWF July 2021 QOTM!! - "Took It All"
~Proud final opponent of XWF Legend Barney Green for one of his retirements

---Love Me, Like Me, Hate Me. No Worries---

Gator's Archive
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Hotdog (10-13-2021), Lycana (10-13-2021), Mark Flynn (10-13-2021), Vita Frickin Valenteen (10-13-2021)
Hotdog Offline
Now in new North Korean War Pig flavour!



XWF FanBase:
Green as Grass

(sloppy in the ring; botches moves regularly; shows up when fans are hoping for anyone else)


Post: #4
10-13-2021 02:34 PM

And emerging from the explosion...

































































































[Image: G5iCrog.jpg]

"OINK OOOIIINNKK!!! Ooiink oink Ooink Ooiink Oink Oink oooiinnkk oink ooiinnk oink! Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink Ooink-Oink, Ooink Ooink!"

Spoiler :
"OH YEAAAAAAAH!!! Hotdog the North Korean War Pig reporting for fucking duty! Time to fuck some hoes up on Shove-It, Piggy Style!"
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