----

The camera cuts to a different angle.

Corey Smith opens the door, and finds on the ground in front of him a small red box emblazoned with pink and white hearts and a bow stuck to the lid without any accompanying ribbon. With a puzzled expression, he bends down and picks it up. He notices a heart-shaped tag attached to it. He turns it over, and reads the inscription aloud.

“Roses are red
Violets are not
Your kindness and warmth
Will not soon be forgot

With all of my heart
My spores and my sporange
You’ve inspired me
To rhyme with orange

The leaves are still green
On the plant of our lives
Even when night sets
My affection survives

Roses are red
Violets are blue
The world is better
Because of you.”

Corey searches for a name on the card, but none can be found. Cautiously, he lifts off the lid and tucks it under the box itself. Reaching in, he pulls out what looks to be a star chart and a piece of card that reads ‘Certificate of Registration’ on the top of it. Corey looks closer, and reads out the fine print to himself.

SMITH: “Let it be known that the star residing at the astronomically verified coordinates below is hereby named… Coreytopia!?”

He casts a glance back out into the hall again, and still finding nobody there, he smiles rather wistfully.

SMITH: "Well, I'll be…"

The smile grows into a knowing grin. Corey seems genuinely moved by the gesture. He glances down at the chart again before dipping back inside and closing the door behind him.

---

The scene cuts to the Savage stage as fireworks go off and the fans cheer with excitement. Once the pyrotechnics display has ended, we go to Pip and Heather at ringside.


HHL: "Welcome everyone to a very special Valentine's Day edition of Saturday Night Savage! I'm Heather Halliwell alongside Pip Collins and what a show we have for you tonight."

PC: "We do have quite a show ahead, but I'd like to point out that this is NOT Valentine's Day, Heather, it's actually DESPERATION Day!"

HHL: "Do I even wanna know what that is?"

PC: "Quite simply, it's the day BEFORE Valentine's Day, when people all over the world frantically search for someone to be their Valentine!"

HHL: "Sounds like a typical day for you!"




HHL: It looks like we’re starting off Savage tonight with Corey Smith!

PC: Corey coming off a win at Snow Job with his so called frenemy Doc D’Ville, and he’s in triple threat action later tonight.

The arena is pitch black and the melancholy opening tunes to “Someone Else” begin. But as the song starts to pick up in intensity, down in the entryway, you see a Jericho-esque light up jacket glow brilliantly. Then, twin explosions emit from either side of the ramp and the lights turn on in a swirling red and blue pattern that throb in sync with the beats of the song. Corey comes down the ramp, the jacket now flashing intermittent heart and lightning bolt patterns. He’s wearing his tag team championship belt around his waist. On the 'Tron you see images of Corey/Lux pulling off fantastic moves, intercut with blur effects on Corey's face that obscure his features in an eerie way.

Corey gets on the ring apron, throwing his arms over the top rope as the jacket keeps flashing. He looks pumped as hell, and starts pointing out at the fans before rushing to the top rope, surveying the crowd from on high, before dropping down to the canvas.

The arena lights revert back to normal, and Corey looks out at the crowd, mic already in hand. He’s getting a sizable pop when he brings his lips to the mic and says….

What’s poppin’, Philly?

And the pop gets even louder! He smirks in such a way that you know he knows it was a cheap pop and he doesn’t give a damn.

Snow Job, man, whew! That was a hell of a show. Lot of people thought that The Doc and I couldn’t co exist well enough to get it done and well…. He plays his hands on the title belt about his waist like a drum beat. They were wrong! Now, I’m not sayin’ it was easy. What I am sayin’ is that Corey Smith can get it done with just about anybody. And quite honestly, I like the challenge!

And I’m not just talking about the challenge of doing the whole “odd couple” thing. Since my comeback, the majority of my matches have been in the tag team division. And….I think I kinda like it.

He looks back down at the tag title and gives it an affectionate little rub.

And let’s face it, the tag team division in the XWF has often been treated like the red headed step child of championship divisions. Man, sometimes I honestly think the GM’s FORGET the division exists! He says with a playful exuberance. And that’s sad. Because I think tag team wrestling should be a STAPLE of the XWF once again.

The crowd pops in agreement.

Now some people may be quick to criticize me because my good friend Thad Duke inducted me onto this team. They say I didn’t actually WIN anything. And to those folks I say, try surviving a triple threat TLC match on a big money pay per view. I may not have earned this title before, but after that hell of a match, I damn sure earned it now.

Anyway, I want to see tag team wrestling continue to thrive. And despite certain differences in outlook, I want to see Continuum thrive.

When it comes to our affinity for tag team wrestling, Continuum is walkin’ the walk. And we plan to DEFEND these championships at March Madness!

Another big time crowd pop.

PC: Corey’s coming out cocky!

HHL: Well, he’s certainly earned the right! His whole team has been on a roll!

Corey goes to speak again, but this time the microphone picks up nothing. Corey continues to rage on, gesticulating wildly, but the audience doesn’t hear any of it. The crowd starts to murmur before quickly quieting down. Then, the lights go black. The arena is shrouded in darkness.

HHL: What’s going on here?!

PC: Whatever it is, I don’t like it!

An unfamiliar tune blares out from the speakers as video footage of an absolute chad dancing flashes across the X-tron.



PC: What is the meaning of this?!

HHL: We’ve been rick rolled, Pip!

When the lights come back on we see Jim and Charlie lurking around the ring carrying a table. There is a bald man in a pinstripe suit standing in the center of the ring with a microphone.

AKKKKSHUUAALLLLY…...you’re not a tag team champion! I object! This is fraud!

Corey looks dumbfounded at the short and stubby pinhead in the pinstripes. While Corey takes a few steps towards the man in the ring, Jim and Demos slide under the bottom rope with the table.

HHL: They’re setting a trap!

PC: This is dirty, even by DDS’s Standards!

My name is Jim Jimsunero, and I’m here on behalf of my clients in the Dolphin Destruction Squad! You are being SUED!

Jim Jimsunero pulls a legal briefing out of the pocket inside of his jacket and extends it towards Corey Smith.

No way you’re a real lawyer! Christ, did you graduate with Rudy Guiliani?

As Corey gabs his jaws at the pinhead in the pinstripes, Demos and Jim set the table up behind the tag team champion. Very, very stealthily. Jim Jimsunero throws the legal briefing on the ground in frustration.

I am a damn fine lawyer! Now listen here, you little Smith shit! You’re no champion! Tag team comes from the ancient latin phrase Teamus Tagus, an ancient ritual where two absolute chads would take turns pounding out a cute little twink like you! That’s right, TWO chads! Not two chads and a twink taking turns bunning out some hole! That’s a Trainus Gangbangus! So therefore, you are NOT eligible to compete in the title match on February 27th! And unfortunately for you and your cumpatriots, the contract for the match has already been signed! So therefore, by the transitive property, the match legally HAS to be a handicap match! Thaddeus “Known Loser” Duke will have to take on the big bad dolphin killin’ bimbo fillin’ machine Jim Jimson and his partner Charl-, er, fuck, Daymoist by himself!

Okay, all of that was honestly pretty funny! But this is some bird law shit! And if you guys really want to press the issue I have two creepy albino lawyers who actually know what they're doing! They used to be Madison's lawyers and I'm sure they'll be happy to teach you what the term "scorched earth" means. He pauses. Is albino a slur now? I honestly don't know. Is it in the same ballpark as "midget"?

Demos and Jim slide back out of the ring as Corey and the lawyer continue to bicker. The two men lift up the ring apron and slide a ton of chairs out from under the ring, like, a dozen. They throw all the chairs into the ring.

PC: This is going to be bad!

Corey is startled by the sound of a dozen chairs being tossed into the ring. He turns around, positions himself into a fighting stance and gets ready to beat down on Demos and Jim just as they step up to get into the ring. Both men just look at Corey through the ropes with annoyed expressions from the ring apron.

Didn’t they teach you any manners in law school? Oh I forgot, you didn’t go to law school, Corey Smith! Now put those fists down so we can deal with this issue like MEN!

PC: What’s that mean?!

HHL: You wouldn’t get it.

JAnd the way MEN handle disputes….is through convoluted legal battles filled with technicalities and procedures! We’ve launched a formal complaint with human resources. YOU, Corey Smith, are not nor will you ever be a tag team champion! We were going to do this the nice way, have a little meeting where we walk you through all the minutia and obscure contractual details, but with your aggressiveness you’ve lost that right!

Jim Jinsunero pulls another packet of papers out of his jacket and hands it to Corey Smith.

Corey Smith, you’ve been served!

Serve it up your ass, bird law.

The XWF theme plays as we see referee John X heading down the entrance ramp. He slides into the ring with a microphone of his own in hand. As John gets set to speak, the screen splits: live action ringside on the left, backstage at the entrance on the right with car screeching to a halt.

John: Hold on now, fellas! This bullshit ain’t getting you anywhere! I know the rulebook inside and out, and there are no rules against freebirding the belts! I’m throwing this legal challenge out! Even Theo Pryce was a freebird!

A quick cut to outside the arena, where out of a car jumps Thaddeus Duke as he rushes toward the arena throwing off his jacket and jogging quickly.



HHL: The boss is here!

Theo steps out onto the entryway, mic already in hand.

"They are called the tag team titles for a reason. Tag team. Two people. Pretty cut and dry. We used to have the TRIOS titles but they were retired...by The Kings™. Now we have trios that want to compete as tag teams, that's ridiculous. Either bring back the Trios, which I think is an awful idea or keep the tag titles to two people. None of this freebird bullshit."

As Theo Pryce lays down his opinion, Thad Duke pops on the stage through the curtain to a nuclear mega pop because Thad, mic already in hand.

”That’s real rich, Unc,” Thad says as he stands next to Pryce. ”The Kings retired the Trios right?”

Theo nods.

”That was right before they passed around the tag titles,” he pauses, holding up four fingers giving the automatic “wooo” from the crowd. ”Between the four of you like the drunks in Stuebenville passed around Charlie’s mother behind the 7-11.”

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” the crowd pops enthusiastically.

Thad backpedals toward the ring, mocking his uncle before turning and running toward ringside and sliding into the ring beside Corey.

”Maybe tell me you’re gonna do this next time huh? I was almost at the airport.”

Demos and Jim step between the ropes and enter the ring. Demos beckons for the lawyer to hand him the mic.

You know Lionheart, Charlie would have thought that joke was funny. He always delighted in the suffering of others. But I don’t think the brutal rape that Lynda Nichols experienced at a convience store is a LAUGHING MATTER! Lionheart…..you think yourself so high and mighty, a noble knight of the grandest order. But in reality, you’ve grown cold to the suffering of your common man. You delight and lavish in the torment of a woman you don’t even know…...you’re not fit to be a champion of anything.

Jim Jimson beckons for Demos to hand him the mic. Demos obliges.

Ok, ok. I’ve been thinking of this one for a minute. Ok, so, for the sake of the joke, pretend I said this before all that. Ok, so, the three of us are passing this microphone around like The Continuum passed around Chris Page’s Snow Job after the pay per view! OHHHHHHHHHH!

Hey, cut all this bullshit out! You heard the big man! Corey’s OUT OF THE MATCH! And that’s final! Now get out of my ring!


Whoa, whoa, whoa dudes!

Now, Vinnie Lane steps out onto the ramp!

John! You know how much I love your dedication to law and order, dude! It’s why your referee stripes are SLIGHTLY wider than all the others! Bet you never even noticed!”

“ANYway... this sort of thing is totally complicated and not at all easy to determine, we don’t want to be rash… we have to use DUE PROCESS! We need to have this be determined by a jury! At WARFARE!”

Theo rolls his eyes.

“Theo, dude, you know things like this aren’t always black and white… what if we’re wrong? What if they’re right? We need to find the correct way forward, or we’ll just be a bunch of idiots like those green-tinted nimrods who stole our name. Let’s let these guys make their case! Worse case scenario, we get to strip Duke of a belt… which is a LOT of fun!”

Theo seems to nod in approval at this idea.

Jesus fuck, are there any smart owners?

Corey steps in to interject. Fine! But I wanna know who's gonna be on this jury! And I'm gonna have my attorneys issue peremptory challenges for any potential juror that seems the slightest bit fishy! Corey looks at Jim Jinsunero. Yeah I know what a peremptory challenge is!

That’s not a real thing, just like being a freebird isn’t a real thing! You don’t know anything about the law OR the rules of the ring! I’m going to motion for a summary judgement on the basis of the fact that you, sir, ARE AN ELEPHANT’S ASSHOLE!

Corey stabs a finger at the fake lawyer. And YOU SIR graduated from CLOWN COLLEGE. And not one of the good ones either! One of the ones that only produces the sad alcoholic clowns that show up to your sixth birthday that you've been eagerly anticipating for WEEKS, so fucked up that the only balloon animals he can make are wiener dogs that just look like dicks! And then he pukes in the punchbowl and his pants fall down and when we all laugh because we think it's a joke he breaks down and starts sobbing about wanting to eat the business end of a twelve gauge! Thad looks at Corey with a horrified expression. Corey shrugs. Just a hypothetical.

That’s defamation! And libel! And slander! OH BUDDY, I’ll be seeing you in court this Wednesday! The lawyer pokes Corey Smith in the chest with a giant shit eating smirk on his face.

Yeah, you're gonna want to not do that.


ORRRRRR....another poke.....WHAT?

Corey sighs and looks at Thad. Thad looks back at Corey. They both shrug their shoulders....and then grab hold of Jim Jimsunero!

HHL: UH OH!

Thad and Corey work together to drive Jim Jimsunero through the table! The fans explode in cheers at this. Jim Jimson holds his hands on his bald pate in shock, and Demos smacks him on the shoulder and points at Corey and Thad. Jim and Demos jump the two Continuum members from behind, and before long its all out bedlam! Fists are flying as the two teams throw down and everything descends into chaos! John X starts blowing on his whistle as Theo and Vinnie, back on the ramp, start calling out through the entryway!

Back in the ring, Demos has gotten hold of a chair and he swings it wildly at Corey, who just barely ducks! Thad takes a running leap at Jim, and they both hit the canvas, grappling and throwing wild punches. Corey grabs a chair of his own to retaliate, but a mass of security hit the ring and instantly step in between the warring teams. Jim is dragged off of Thad, and Demos and Corey are separated.

The crowd starts chanting "Let them fight! Let them fight!"

Just then, Demos tries to jump up and over the security to get at Corey! Corey is gesturing for him to bring it on! And no sooner does that happen than does Thad Duke slip off of security's grasp and start attacking Jim again! Once again, the security teams wades into the fray to break them up!

PC: Damn, these two teams want at each other bad! We're gonna have to take a quick break to get this mess under control! We'll be right back!

---

PC: "As you can see by the barbed-wire heart here at ringside, our first match is the Valentine's Day Massacre!"

HHL: "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that heart is the barbed-wire Christmas tree from the Jingle Hells Match in a different shape."

PC: "Pfft. Do you really think Karen and Atticus are THAT cheap, Heather?"

HHL: "................no, of course not!"

PC: "Are you only saying that because their our bosses?"

HHL: "................no, of course not!"





Gun shot sounds blast on the X-Tron, the smoke arises on the entrance way and the camera pans around the arena, before pin pointing John Black who's coming out of the entrance stage. He takes a look around the ring, and walks down the aisle, ignoring some of the fans, then he gets to the steel steps he goes at it with one of the fans, and pushes one of them on the floor. Then JB smiles and climbs the steps and enters the ring, then stands in the ring rising a fist in the air.


PC: "Hopefully JB's attitude can transfer over into this match."

HHL: "If it does, the other competitors better watch out!"




As the music begins to play, Geri Vayden walks onto the ramp and poses with her left hand in the air for a moment, before eventually making her way down the aisle. Once at ringside, she rolls into the ring and pops up, raising her hand in the air once more, as John Black shakes his head.


HHL: "The former Shooting Star Champion is gonna be looking to bounce back tonight."

PC: "Absolutely. A win here should put her right back in the Title picture."




The Story Teller walks through the curtain to the front of the stage with a book. He makes his way to the ring and places the book down just outside of it. The Story Teller then slides in and jumps on the ropes, using his hands in a cup motion to signify a book.


PC: "This match is The Story Teller's XWF debut and what a big one it is!"

HHL: "If he can defeat four of XWF's finest, including a former Champion, he'd be off to a momentous start."

PC: "Did you just refer to Jim Jimson as one of XWF's finest?"

HHL: "I'm just doing my job, Pip."

PC: "Must be nice getting paid to lie to the fans at home."


Before Heather can respond, Jim Jimson's walks onto the stage with a sign saying "Kill all Dolphins" as other people come out with him. They hand out Dolphin Rape Awareness Month pamphlets, making sure that people know just how evil dolphins are, as Jim climbs into the ring. He tries to give the other three opponents in there pamphlets, but all of them refuse except John Black.


PC: "Looks like JB wants to learn more about the danger of dolphins!"


No sooner does Pip say that, when John Black rips the pamphlet in half and tosses the pieces in Jimson's face. Jim looks disappointed, but still offers Black a hug, only to get pushed away.


PC: "Or not."




As the music begins to play, Claude Savage walks out from the back looking primed and ready to go. He makes his way down the aisle before climbing up onto the apron and into the ring, where he's met with glares from all four of his opponents.


PC: "Looks like all eyes are on the Murder Horse!"

HHL: "With his deathmatch background, this match should be right up his alley. Any weapon pulled from a Valentine's bag under the heart will be legal to use, as well as the heart itself."


With all five competitors looking ready to tear each other to pieces, the referee calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

John Black - vs - Geri Vayden - vs - The Storyteller - vs - Jim Jimson - vs - Claude Savage Valentine's Day Massacre Xtreme Rules, except there's a giant barbed-wire heart at ringside with Valentine's bags underneath filled with weapons. No, it's not a rehash of the Jingle Hells Match, it's the Valentine's Day Massacre!

Everyone charges for the center of the ring, but the ref steps in between them all with his hands out.


PC: "What the hell is Bobo doing?!?"


Chaz motions towards the barbed-wire heart and all the bags under it, telling everyone they have to exchange Valentine's first. The Story Teller, not quite accustomed to the absurdity of XWF matches yet, throws his arms up as the other four competitors quietly oblige to the referee's request.


PC: "The Story Teller doesn't seem to be in a loving mood."

HHL: "Considering he signed a contract to wrestle, not exchange Valentines, can't say I blame him."


Referee Chaz Bobo orders him to do as he tells him, but The Story Teller simply drops to his butt in the corner and opens his book, ignoring him. Bobo eventually gives up, heading over to the group gathered around the heart where he watches them exchange bags.

Geri Vayden is first to grab one, which she turns and hands to the nearest person, John Black. He reaches in and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles, which he immediately puts on and examines intently.


PC: "JB looks pretty thrilled with his Valentine!"

HHL: "I'm sure those'll come in handy once the action begins."


Geri clears her throat and motions for Black to give her one, snapping him out of his inspection. He bends down, picks one up, and hands it to her. Vayden reaches in and pulls out a MASSIVE, black dildo!


PC: "Is she gonna wanna use that on an opponent, or herself?"

HHL: "I know what I'D choose!"


Geri looks offended, but John assured her he had no idea what was in it. This causes the angry member of the Left Hand to swing the dildo at Black, who manages to duck under the floppy rubber toy and retaliate with a right. The impact from the brass knuckled hand sends Geri crashing to the floor, as JB talks shit to her unconscious body.

As this is going on, Jim Jimson grabs the first bag he sees and gives it to Claude Savage, who already has one of his own for Jim. Both men reach into their respective bags at the same time, with Savage pulling out a horseshoe, and Jimson a pinecone. Claude raises his Valentine above his head, but before he can strike his opponent with it, Jimson's already got the pinecone shoved halfway down his throat!


PC: "Looks like the War Horse is getting a taste of the ole Jimson Snack!"

HHL: "I'm sure he'd rather eat that than the dildo!"

PC: "Cant say the same about you..................... OWWWWW!!!!!!!"


With all his opponents distracted, The Story Teller slams his book shut and heads over to the nearest corner, where he begins climbing the turnbuckles. As he does so, John Black and Jim Jimson turn their focus to one another, with JB swinging his brass knuckles at The Jim. Before Black can strike him, Jim holds up his pinecone to block, completely shattering it. As soon as that happens, The Story Teller dives off the top rope and hits a Double Clothesline on both of them, sending the crowd into a frenzy.


PC: "Now that's what I call making an impact!"

HHL: "The Story Teller's looking for a win, not a Valentine."

PC: "If he can take advantage of his opponents being down, he just might get one!"


The Story Teller backs away from everyone, before motioning for Jim and John to get up, which they eventually do. With his opponents on their feet, The Story Teller runs towards them.............................. only for JB and Jimson to hit a Double Flapjack out of nowhere, sending The Story Teller into the barbed-wire heart!!!!! The newcomer cries out in pain as he carefully rolls out of the razor wire onto the floor.


PC: "Welcome to XWF, kid!"


Jimson goes to hug Black, again, but John swings at him before he can fully embrace him. Jim sidesteps the shot, though, and yanks the brass knuckles out of JB's hand. Before he can use them himself, however, Geri Vayden nearly decapitates him with the giant dildo!!!! Jim goes flying into the apron, the imprint of a dick on the side of his face as he collapses to the ground.


PC: "Now that's what I call a mushroom stamp!!!"


Geri, once again, swings on John Black, who ducks, causing her to hit Claude Savage instead. The War Horse is unaffected by the shot, sending the dildo flying into the crowd as he takes a few steps towards Vayden, causing her to back up.


HHL: "I don't think Claude appreciates being smacked with a fake dick!"

PC: "And you think Jimson DOES?!?!?"


Savage goes to hit Geri, but The Story Teller shoves the barbed-wire heart on top of him, toppling Cluade, and the heart, over as Vayden shows her appreciation to the teller of stories. It doesn't last long, though, as Geri goes to Kick him in the groin..................... only for him to close his legs together, trapping his opponent's between them before she can connect with it.


PC: "I don't think I've EVER seen someone stop a low blow with their legs before!"

HHL: "It's definitely innovative, for being something so simple."


A panicked Geri tries to yank her leg out, but The Story Teller refuses to let go. With his opponent trapped, The Story Teller wraps his arm around her head and delivers a DDT that bounces Vayden's skull off the floor with a sickening thud.


PC: "A few more shots like that and Geri's not gonna know her left hand from her right!"

HHL: "She's gonna end up like that guy from Varsity Blues!"

PC: "Richie Incognito?"

HHL: "Close enough."


The second The Story Teller gets back up, John Black is there to strangle him...................... with a candy thong he found in one of the other bags! JB pulls on the g-string with all his might, turning his opponent's face purple in the process. Just before The Story Teller passes out, Jim Jimson wraps his arms around BOTH of them for a gentle, elongated hug, before delivering an impressive Belly to Belly(though it's more like Belly to Sides) Suplex.


PC: "The Jimson Slam!!! Jim Jimson just delivered his signature Slam to The Story Teller AND John Black at the SAME TIME!!!!!"

HHL: "If he can pull that off against Doc and Corey in 2 weeks, we could be looking at one half of the next Tag Team Champions!"


A pumped up Jimson grabs John Black and rolls him into the ring, following close behind with a cover.

ONE
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TWO
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KICKOUT!!!!!!!!


PC: "You know Jim's trying to get some momentum heading into the biggest match of his career!"

HHL: "He might've had it, too, had he hit his move inside the ring."


Jim walks over to John and goes for a Rear Naked Choke, but JB's not havin' it. He turns into Jimson and begins hammering away as he covers up in defense. Black begins raining down with multiple elbows, sending Jim cowering back to the outside. John gets up and walks over to the ropes but, as he's bending over to climb through the ropes, The Story Teller drops him with a Super Kick from off camera, causing him to slowly fall forward. Before he can hit the mat, The Story Teller puts JB's head between his legs and plants him with a Pedigree before rolling him onto his back for a cover.

ONE
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KICKOUT!!!!!!


HHL: "He calls that the End of the Chapter."

PC: "Apparently John's chapter isn't finished, yet!"

HHL: "While I have no doubt it would've kept a lesser foe down, John Black isn't one of those!"


The Story Teller signals for the end, before bringing John Black to his feet and getting him in position for a DDT. However, as he goes for The Book End, JB is able to slip out of his opponent's grasp and lift him up onto his shoulders, before hitting him with a Blacklisted Death Valley Driver!!! John lays across The Story Teller for a cover.

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Before the ref's hand can hit for the 3 count, Claude Savage drags The Story Teller outside the ring. He then climbs up onto the apron but, before he can make it inside, Jim Jimson jumps onto his back and locks in a Rear Naked Choke.


PC: "The Jimson Affection! It looks like Jim wants the War Horse to be his Valentine!"


Savage tries to propel Jimson off of him, but he's unable to escape the sweet things The Jim is whispering in his ear! As this is going on, Geri Vayden climbs up onto the apron and gets herself into Backdrop position on Jimson. She tries her best to pull him back, but the power of Jim's love makes it impossible for her and Claude to shake him. Eventually, The Story Teller gets up and joins Geri behind Jim, but the combination of them and Savage are still unable to get Jimson to budge. That's when John Black comes in for a Dropkick, which Claude ducks, sending the other three flying backwards into the announce table as the crowd goes wild!!!!!!!


PC: "Noooooooo! It's too early to lose an announce table, already!"

HHL: "Anyone in the back want to give us the Valentine of a new table?"


Claude manages to hang onto the top rope, but he's clearly lightheaded from lack of oxygen. This allows John Black to take advantage, pulling him into the ring with a devastating Brainbusta! He then picks Savage back up and hits him with Tha Underground Noise for good measuring, lazily laying across him for the pin.

ONE
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THREE!!!!!!!

Winner- John Black via pinfall

PC: "That's a good win for John Black, great way to bounce back from his loss at Snow Job."

HHL: "A great win for sure. It's not easy beating one opponent, let alone FOUR!"


A cocky John Black poses for the camera before pointing at Claude and talking smack. He then makes his way for the exit as the rest of his foes slowly begin to stir at ringside.


PC: "Well, we're gonna take a commercial break and see about getting another table out here because I am NOT going the entire show without one!"

HHL: "I'm not gonna argue about that, we'll be right back!"

---

The show comes back from break to Geri Vayden walking backstage after her match when, out of nowhere, she's hit in the back of the head with the TV belt by Demos! Geri falls to the ground and Demos is quick to mount her. He grabs the woman by the hair before quickly pulling out a pair of scissors from his pocket. He cuts off a few strands of the woman's black and silver hair before stepping off of her and walking away briskly.

PC: "What the hell! That was a hit and run!"

HHL: "EW! Now Charlie's collecting hair from the female talent! We might need to get HR involved!"

---

All Hail The Queen from the album GRL and the hit series Queen of the South begins to hit. The arena lights begin to flash. "All Hail The Queen" comes up on the screen every time the lyric is said in the song. The crowd looks towards the still empty stage as pink glitter begins to fall from the ceiling. The crowd dances with the beat.

Pink Pyro goes off around the stage and rampway.


At about the 1:30 mark, at the words "The Greatest" hit, the voices deepens, as if being chopped and screwed, and the lights go off. Big purple letters come up on the X-Tron.



The music hits and Jenny Myst walks out onto the ramp way, holding the Shooting Star Title on her arm.

HHL: It's time for Queen's Court again! Been too long since we got to see one!

PC: What does she think she's doing holding that belt! She isn't the champ anymore!

HHL: Betsy gave it up at Snow Job! You saw, I saw it, we all saw it. Jenny said if she wanted it, she could come get it on Savage! Jenny Myst is a woman of her word. Come get it, Granger!


Jenny tosses the belt down and poses, getting into the ring in style before walking over and picking it up, putting it over her shoulder as she grabs a mic.

Jenny: "PHILADELPHIA! It has been far too long since I have been out here in front of you all to give you the number one reason to tune into this program. It's been a rough couple of months or so for me, as many of you know. I was singled out and assaulted on numerous occasions by those lunatics in The Left Hand, damn near burned alive, and had Geri Vayden and Betsy Granger breathing down my neck, trying to get their grubby little on the title I made famous........this title right here....."

She looks at the belt draped across her shoulder.

PC: A title she lost, I might add.

HHL: Shhhh!

"So before I get my guest out here, someone you all know pretty well at this point, let me give Betsy the opportunity to come to the ring and get this belt back if she wants it so badly. She can come take the title or she can cower in the corner like the scared little bitch she is---"


PC: Jenny picked this fight, and here she is! The Queen may have bitten off more than she can chew here!

Betsy Granger steps out onto the ramp to a HUGE ovation. Around her waist, however, is a different belt. It looks like the shooting star, but it has a few changes to it. She walks down the ramp with a grin and a strut. She steps into the ring, asking for a mic herself, and stands, one hip up one hip down, grinning at the former champ.

Jenny: "Well well, look who decided to show up on MY show. Betsy Granger......welcome to the Queen's Court....the number one talk show on cable television and the reason this show isn't 3rd in line behind that disaster on Thursday Nights......."

Jenny flips her hair with a smile.

Jenny: "How's it feel to finally be in the spotlight?"

Betsy shrugs casually, a friendly grin on her face. "Eh, it has it's ups and downs. Didn't need the belt to outshine you, though. This is just a bonus."

The Impossible Traveler gestures towards the new belt displayed around her waist.

"Isn't it pretty? I added a few personal touches."

Jenny's lip curls a bit.

Jenny: "So while you're out here, crashing my party, why don't I ask you a few questions. I am sure my guest, Alias, won't mind."

She clears her throat.

Jenny: "I bet you feel like you really accomplished something great and major here, don't ya?"

Betsy shrugs and flashes Jenny a friendly grin.

“Here tonight? Not really. I just came out here because I figured these people spent their hard-earned money to hear someone other than you. They’ve been listening to you run your flap for over one hundred days, and quite frankly… We’re all sick of the sound of your voice.”

The crowd cheers at this, earning a cheeky grin around the arena from Granger.

“You can bring Alias out here if you like, I really don’t mind. I just wanted to speak my piece and dip.”

She steps right up to Jenny and lowers the mic so she can get closer to her face.

“Last chance. You and I, one on one, once and for all. March Madness, we end this song and dance. If you truly believe you’re the face of the Shooting Star Division, take the belt from me and I’ll end this. If I win, you’re done. Back of the line. You earn your way back up to the number one spot.”

Jenny laughs a bit to herself, bringing her bedazzled mic up to her lips, the original shooting star title over her shoulder.

“So…….let me be clear here, just so everyone here can understand along with me….you’ve been champion for what, 10 minutes? And now you get to make ultimatums? Sure, I was champion for 101 days but this is so much more than that. The reason you have the belt around your waist at all is because I gave you a division to compete in. I gave you a goal to strive for, an accomplishment to chase, a brass ring to grab and pull down. You sit here, sitting upon those clouds, all proud of yourself. I have a TV title shot later tonight, in the Main Event. I have commercials, movie roles, a shoe line. You have a belt that you don’t even want, you just don’t want ME to have. Let’s be real here Beckster, I am better than you in every conceivable way. You’ve been champion for a single eye blink and now you want to give me ultimatums like you’re a legend, like you’re a staple, like you matter to anyone besides the reflection staring back at you in the mirror every morning?”

HHL: She’s got Betsy on the ropes here….

PC: She’s got her head so far up her a----

Jenny: “And….unlike you, I have options. You come out here trying to goad me into a match with you, but when I take down Charlie/Demos/Fat Ass tonight, I no longer need you. YOU are the one who NEEDS ME to stay relevant…….I have TV title, I have March Madness, I have, apparently, a shot at you. I have OPTIONS. So why not sit back there like a good girl and wait and see, and I’ll make my decision next week.”

She pats Betsy on the head. The crowd “OOOOHS”. Betsy’s face remains neutral as she brushes her hair back out and shakes it back in place.

“So basically, you wasted everyone’s time to get on your janky little soap box to repeat yourself for the millionth time… just to duck a challenge? Works for me. I’m happy to leave you here with nothing but this shallow attempt at attention and dumb endorsements. Do you really think Whatever He’s Calling Himself is going to let you leave with that TV title? Once he’s done using your face to clean the mat, you’ll be left behind with nothing but the sweet memories of yesterday. Do you know how quickly endorsement deals and movie roles dry up once the shill loses their shine?”

Betsy pats Jenny on the cheek.

“Listen up, Jenna: I’m making ultimatums because I’m in a position to do so. You think it matters how long I’ve been here? As long as I carry this title, I’m in a better spot than you to call shots around here. Here’s something else for you to chew over later: It took me a mere two months to accomplish what you still scramble so desperately for: All eyes are on me. I was popular among the industry before I was a worker within it, you were little more than you are now; a shallow, self-entitled, narcissistic pain in the ass who thinks the world owes them everything. But you’ve made your choice clear. So we’re done.”

Betsy drops her mic and backs off. Smirking over at Jenny one more time, she shakes her head and exits the ring, bouncing down the ring stairs merrily.

PC: I think the Impossible Traveler has just done the impossible. She has finally shut Jenny Myst up!

HHL: She can’t talk to the QUEEN that way!

PC: She just did!

Jenny grins, bringing the mic to her mouth as Betsy walks away.

Before Jenny can get a word out, however, the lights in the arena turn purple.

Stars begin to flash on the X-Tron.


The crowd goes nuts.

PC: HERE IS THE REAL QUEEN! The head of the Shooting Star division, Roxy Cotton is in Philadelphia!

Roxy steps out onto the entrance ramp. She has on a stunning purple dress with white heels. She has a mic in her hand.

Roxy: “You know…..I am getting pretty tired of this constant back and forth…..this bickering. I am getting especially sick of You”, she looks right at Jenny who scrunches her face at her.

Roxy: “Here is how it’s gonna do down...Jenny, you have a Television Title match tonight. You’ve also stated here tonight that you plan to enter the March Madness Tournament. You’ve also egged on a fight with Betsy Granger over the title you used to have by taking it hostage and flaunting it here tonight. Didn’t you do the same thing with the Bombshell Title? My goodness blondie, get some new material. But let’s be very clear here, that is MY title. The both of you are just leasing it from me.”

Both women seem to take umbrage with this statement.

Roxy: “But I will admit, you two have really made an impact here in XWF over the past few months. You’ve made me a lot of money, and we all know how much I love that. But what I don’t like are the headaches. I get enough of those from Vinny. So….here is how this is going down….Betsy, obviously you have a match at March Madness to defend your title, but I am going to let the faux Queen up there decide just who that match will be against……..”

HHL: “She is letting Jenny pick Betsy’s Shooting Star Title opponent?!”

Roxy: “Since the next Pay Per View is in Las Vegas, a town that queenie up there knows quite well, and I am in a gambling type of mood…...let’s put a little fun back into this division, shall we? Ms. Myst, since you’re feeling so froggish, let’s leap. If you want to face Betsy Granger for MY Shooting Star Title at March Madness and enter the tournament, then that’s on you to decide. HOWEVER…..IF you win the Television Title later tonight, you’re out of the tournament!”

PC: WOW! Huge news from Roxy Cotton tonight!

Roxy: So you have to decide, what is more important to you. The TV deals and the shiny gold that accompanies them, or the chance to prove that you truly are Queen of XWF by running the tournament gauntlet. You can’t have both.”

The crowd begins to buzz as Roxy turns back towards the curtain before turning back around.

Roxy: “Oh, yeah, and I almost forgot. IF you win the Television Title tonight…..you will be out of the tournament, as I said, but you will then have to decide. What is more important to you…..being the TV champ and the chance at another reign length record, or getting my belt back. If you win tonight and don’t accept Betsy’s challenge, you’ll forgo a shot at the Shooting Star Title. IF you win the TV title tonight, AND choose to face Betsy at March Madness, then that match…...will be winner take all. Make your choice, and I suggest for once in your life you choose wisely. Good luck tonight……”

Roxy winks.

Roxy: “No pressure!”

Paparazzi hits as Betsy smiles, backing up the ramp holding her new belt. Jenny snarls in the ring, rage seething through her.

PC: MASSIVE, MASSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM ROXY! If Jenny loses to Charlie Nickles tonight, she is free to do whatever she wants at the Pay Per View. If she wins tonight, she is OUT of March Madness. If she wins tonight and wants to go her separate ways, she forgoes another shot at the Shooting Star title! If she wins and still wants to face Betsy Granger at the Pay Per View, the match will be winner take all, for BOTH belts! What's Jenny gonna choose if she wins?! My god what an event its gonna be!

HHL: Not fair! Totally not fair! The Queen shouldn’t stand for this!

PC: She doesn’t have a choice!

Jenny is visible angry in the ring as Savage goes to commercial.

---

HHL: "Coming up next is the My Bloody Valentine Triple Threat Elimination Match."

PC: "And it's exactly what it sounds like, if you bleed, you're eliminated! Last one standing with a clean face will be declared the winner!"




As the music starts, Hawaiian Hardhead bursts out from the back wearing a Hawaiian shirt. He stays focused on the ring as he heads down the aisle and over to the steps, where he climbs up into the apron and inside the squared circle.


PC: "Hawaiian Hardhead is back in XWF and what a challenge him and Savannah Knightley have ahead of them!"

HHL : "That's right, Pip, not only do they have to defeat each other, they also have to beat a former Universal Champion, as well."




Savannah Knightley makes her way onto the stage where she poses for a minute, receiving hollers and whistles from the overzealous male audience members. She then heads down to the ring and onto the apron, where she climbs in to another round of cat calls.


PC: "It's always great to see Savannah Knightley!"

HHL: "I'm gonna start calling you PIG Collins if you don't knock it off."

PC: "Oink, oink!"

HHL: "Ugh, Taco's got more class than you."




The arena is pitch black and the melancholy opening tunes to “Someone Else” begin. But as the song starts to pick up in intensity, down in the entry way, you see a Jericho-esque light up jacket glow brilliantly. Then, twin explosions emit from either side of the ramp and the lights turn on in a swirling red and blue pattern that throb in sync with the beats of the song. Corey comes down the ramp, the jacket now flashing intermittent heart and lightning bolt patterns. On the 'Tron you see images of Corey/Lux pulling off fantastic moves, intercut with blur effects on Corey's face that obscure his features in an eerie way.

Corey gets on the ring apron, throwing his arms over the top rope as the jacket keeps flashing. He looks pumped as hell, and starts pointing out at the fans before rushing to the top rope, surveying the crowd from on high, before dropping down to the canvas and handing off his jacket. He paces the ring now, waiting for the match to begin as the music and lighting effects wind down.


PC: "Though the current Tag Champ has two opponents, he will be without his partner tonight."

HHL: "Luckily for him it's every man, or woman, for themselves."


The referee checks with on all 3 competitors, making sure each of them is ready to go. Upon receiving their confirmation, he walks over to the ropes and calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

Hawaiian Hardhead - vs - Savannah Knightley - vs - Corey Smith My Bloody Valentine Match Triple Threat Elimination style, except the only way to eliminate your opponents is to make them bleed

PC: "How do we know Savannah isn't bleeding already?"

HHL: "Remember that comment about you being a pig?"

PC: "What?!?!!? I was genuinely curious!"

HHL: "Even if that was a thing, the stipulation states you have to MAKE your opponent bleed, so it wouldn't count!"

PC: "Oh."


Savannah Knightley heads to the center of the ring, between both opponents, and shows her stuff off. Hawaiian Hardhead and Corey just stare at her for a moment, before simultaneously connecting with Kicks to her head, sending Savannah rolling to the outside. HHH goes after her, but Smith turns him around and delivers a Chop across the chest that echoes throughout the building. He hits another one before attempting an Irish Whip, only for Hardhead to reverse it. Corey is able to catch himself on the ropes, preventing himself from bouncing back, causing his opponent to charge at him. Before HHH can do anything, the current Tag Team Champion surprises him with a Leaping Knee to the Face that sends him stumbling into a vicious chair shot by Savannah Knightley. The weapon has no effect, though, as Hawaiian Hardhead let's out a monstrous war cry before Headbutting the chair into Knightley's face.


PC: "The referee better check on her, she could be bleeding!"

HHL: "I don't know how smart a headbutt in a First Blood Match is, let alone one to a chair!"


Savannah rolls around on the ground with her face covered, as the ref bends down and tries to pull her hands away. When he finally does, the camera reveals she somehow managed to avoid being busted open.


PC: "Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good!"

HHL: "I wouldn't suggest taking another one of those......... to either of them!"


Hawaiian Hardhead turns his attention back to Corey, who immediately tries to fight him off with a combination of knees and elbows. HHH fights through 'em, though, getting his hands on his opponent and picking him up for a Scoop Slam before making his way over to the corner. He climbs up onto the second rope and dives off for a Flying Splash, only for Corey to get his foot up. Despite this, Hawaiian Hardhead is able to catch it before he can connect and toss his leg aside before falling on top of his chest with an Elbow Drop.


HHL: "For a man his size, Hawaiian Hardhead has the reaction time of a Cruiserweight!"

PC: "Is HE fast or is COREY just slow?"

HHL: "I don't think a former Universal Champion is gonna be slow, Pip."

PC: "What about Vinnie? He's not too spry anymore."

HHL: "...........true."


Hawaiian Hardhead brings Corey to his feet and Irish Whips him to the ropes, attempting a Clothesline on the rebound which Smith ducks. As he heads towards the other side, Corey steps up onto the ropes and dives to the outside where he delivers a Hurricanranna to Savannah Knightley. The move sends Savannah flying, face first, into the steel steps.


PC: "If THAT doesn't make her bleed, I don't know WHAT will!"

HHL: "I gotta agree, Pip, Savannah's as good as gone."


A confident Corey grabs Knightley by the head and holds her up for the ref.............. only to reveal no blood!


PC: "Apparently the Hawaiian's not the only one with a hard head!"

HHL: "I guess!"


A desperate Knightley reaches up and takes Corey's face, causing him to let go and take a few steps back. This allows Hawaiian Hardhead to dive through the ropes and hit a Spear on Smith, causing the back of his head to smack against the floor.


PC: "Hawaiian Hardhead is over 300 pounds, how the HELL did he do that?!?"

HHL: "I'm not sure, but I don't think Corey expected it, either!"


HHH goes to pick Corey up, but he's hit from the side by Savannah Knightley with the Steel Steps, taking him down to a knee. She goes to hit him, again, but Hardhead catches the Steps and shoves Knightley backwards. He then stands up and checks them at her, but Savannah dives out of the way, causing the stairs to collide with the ring post. She then runs over and jumps onto Hawaiian Hardhead in an attempted DDT, but he catches her in mid-air. HHH hoists Savannah high above his head and chucks her into the ring, over the top rope!


HHL: "Look at the strength of Hawaiian Hardhead!"


HHH climbs up onto the apron, only for Knightley to run over and kick him off. Hardhead's head smacks against the canvas on his way down, sending him into a daze. With both her opponent's momentarily subdued, Savannah walks over to the corner and proceeds to remove the turnbuckle pad from the top rope.


PC: "An exposed turnbuckle certainly is a good way to make someone bleed!"

HHL: "She better hope it doesn't get used against her, though."


As soon as Knightley's done removing the padding, Hawaiian Hardhead is already making his way back into the ring. She walks over and begins laying into him with stomps, but HHH has no problem shoving her away. Savannah is quick to head right back at her opponent, who practically takes her head off with a massive Clothesline out of nowhere. Hardhead then looks over at the exposed turnbuckle before bending over to bring Knightley back to her feet.


PC: "You were saying?"


HHH goes to Whip Knightley towards the corner, but somehow she's able to stop herself before colliding with it. This angers Hawaiian Hardhead, causing him to charge recklessly at his opponent with one last attempt to finish her. Savannah is able to move out of the way, but Hardhead ALSO manages to stop himself before colliding with it. He turns around and is greeted with a right from Knightley, which he blocks and grabs her by the air as she begs him to let go. Her pleas end up being for nothing, however, as Hardhead uses his strength to smash her face into the exposed metal ring of the turnbuckle, sending blood flying everywhere.

Savannah Knightley has been eliminated via bloodshed

HHL: "She took some shots but, realistically, NOBODY was gonna run into that without shedding a little blood!"

PC: "But this is an Elimination Match and Hawaiian Hardhead still has to make one half of the Tag Team Champions bleed if he wants to win this one!"


Corey Smith sneaks his way into the ring and runs over to a distracted Hardhead, where he tries to smash HIS face against the exposed turnbuckle, to no avail. HHH is able to Elbow Corey in the gut and lift into onto his shoulders. However, before he can hit a Samoan Drop, Smith is able to slide off his shoulders behind him. Hawaiian Hardhead turns around and is just barely able to backstep a game ending Face Pain De-Lux.


PC: "I'm not sure his head would've been hard enough to withstand kick from the Tag Champ."

HHL: "He's not the only one, as others in the past could attest to."


Upon doing a full rotation, Hawaiian Hardhead grabs Corey by the arm and Irish Whips him towards the exposed turnbuckle. Smith is able to counter with a Step Up Moonsault, knocking Hardhead down in the process.


HHL: "While it IS an impressive move, it's not gonna make anyone bleed."

PC: "No, but it's gonna get the blood pumping and make it easier to get Hardhead to bleed!"


Hardhead doesn't stay down for long, though, getting up in the corner just slightly after Smith does. Corey runs over and goes for a Helluva Kick, but HHH moves his head to the side and drives his opponent backwards into the mat with a Spinebuster. He then pops to his feet and lifts Corey up into position for a Jackhammer.


PC: "He's going for the Hawaiian Hammer! This could make Corey bleed internally, but I'm not sure if that counts."

HHL: "It doesn't, Pip."


Hardhead keeps Corey in the air upside down for a minute, allowing him the opportunity to escape, landing on his feet behind his opponent. HHH turns around, only to actually be met with a Face Pain De-Lux that drops him to his knees. With the victory in his sights, Corey Smith finishes Hawaaian Hardhead off with an EXTRA Face Pain De-Lux, sending blood spurting out of HHH's nose for the win.

Hawaiian Hardhead has been eliminated via bloodshed

Winner- Corey Smith

PC: "Despite a frightening spill on the outside, Corey manages to walk away with the victory."

HHL: "He'll be looking to carry that momentum into next Savage when him and Doc defend the Tag Team Titles against D.D.S."

PC: "If he can hit one of those devastating kicks of his, it doesn't matter if it's Charlie or Jim, they're NOT getting back up from it!"

HHL: "There's a reason he's such a decorated Champion and we just saw it right here tonight."


Corey celebrates with his Championship as the camera goes to commercial.

---

The crowd in Philly goes BALLISTIC as “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane emerges from the top of the entrance ramp in his familiar outfit - the hot pink three piece suit, snakeskin boots, and pink paisley bandanna atop his golden locks.

Walking down the ramp with a velvet bag slung over his shoulder, Vinnie takes the time to slap hands with some of the fans in attendance as well as a few selfies. He’s got his pink facemask on, but you can tell he’s smiling underneath.

Vinnie hops up onto the apron and does a shimmying little dance before ducking under the top rope and spinning around for the fans like old times. Then, he stops in the middle of the ring and catches a microphone expertly tossed to him from a crew member outside the squared circle.


Vinnie Lane: “Great toss, dude! Always right between the numbers. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF PHILADELPHIA… are you loving Savage tonight??”


He holds to mic out to the crowd so they can lose their collective shit.


Vinnie Lane: “Great. Awesome! You know, I’ve been looking forward to tonight ALL WEEK! I didn’t even go back home after Anarchy on Thursday, I just headed over from Idaho like a reverse Lewis and Clark! That’s a history joke, folks!”


They laugh. Man, these guys LOVE some Vinnie Lane.


Vinnie Lane: “So as you know, we are turning a corner here in the XWF tonight. Out with the old, in with the new, you know what I mean? Philly tonight was the best possible choice because we have two of the current best and brightest in the XWF performing for you LIVE and in living color! We’ve got the dude who has Savage on LOCKDOWN for the last several weeks, Mister Charlie… er… Demos, I guess! The Television Champion!”


There’s a pop. Muttered boos as well, though, as the TV Champ is a controversial figure.


Vinnie Lane: “Then! Oh man, then… we have the new X-Treme Champion… the guy who has been on an upward trajectory shot straight out of a gun since he set foot in the XWF, a guy by the name of ALIAS!”


A much bigger pop for Alias. They know he’s on their side and that he wants to eat the left hand.


Vinnie Lane: “And as you faithful fans also know, the two of them are not only Television and X-Treme title holders, but they also DUAL WIELD! The historic 24/7 belts they each possess, the Federweight and the Heavy Metalweight, are storied and have long, long legacies here in the XWF… but all good things, man, all good things! It’s time we EVOLVE a little bit… and we’re doing that RIGHT HERE TONIGHT!”


Another massive swell of applause from the fans. Can this guy play a crowd like a fiddle or what?


Vinnie Lane: “Let’s get those two out here, we don’t have all night after all… introducing first, from who knows where… the X-Treme Champion… the Federweight Champion… ALIAS!”


Alias walks out with his two title belts and the crowd gives him a warm welcome. He meanders to the ring and then climbs in, giving Vinnie’s hand a shake.


Vinnie Lane: “You really need an entrance song, dude… have you considered something by Faster Pussycat or maybe Saigon Kick?”


Alias only shrugs as the crowd laughs. Oh, Vinnie.


Vinnie Lane: “And introducing next… from Steubenville, Ohio, the birthplace of Traci Lords… he is your XWF Television Champion as well as the HeavyMetalweight Champion… you used to call him Charlie, now you can call him out to the ring! Here is… DEMOS!”






The music hits as a video package of Demos laying fools out rolls on the X-tron. Demos pops out through the entrance, absolutely vibing to the music and hyping himself up. He walks down the entrance ramp with his arms held wide out at his side a la the passion of the Christ. He seems absolutely unconcerned with the jeers and taunts of the audience. As he nears the ring he suddenly brings his arms back to the center of his body, shaking his closed fists in the air while screaming something incoherent. He hustles over to the stairs, quickly ascending them before grabbing the top rope and stepping onto the ring apron. Demos looks back at the audience with a toothy grin before ducking under the top rope and stepping the ring proper.

As he nears the center of the ring he keeps looking back over his shoulder and yapping with someone who is very obviously not there.


Vinnie Lane: “Thanks for coming out, dude! You’ve had a heck of a run since you joined up this last Summer. Same to you, Alias, ever since you popped up at the end of October, you’ve been on a tear! You both had huge matches at Snow Job, both walked away with gold, and now you’re both here to be a part of the next stage of XWF history along with ME! How rad, right!?”


Alias nods along but Demos looks more tentative. He keeps mumbling and mouthing as if someone is standing next to him that no one else can see.


Vinnie Lane: “Cool. Hey, Chuck, I’m over here, man. You gotta stay in front of the hard cam so the people at home can see you, you know? Don’t worry I’m an old pro at this TV thing. Even though you’re the TV Champion, you’ve got a lot to learn about broadcasting!”


Laughter. That’s a hashtag that’ll get trending! Get this man on TikTok!


Vinnie Lane: “Okay, okay… let’s cut the man some slack… he’s earned it. Now… as you know, tonight we are crowning the FIRST EVER Freestyle Champion here in the XWF! This is the next step forward in 24/7 performance! We are moving away from the restrictive nature of the Federweight and the HMW. Plus, it’s gonna be even more exclusive as we are turning TWO titles into ONE! That’s how you keep things BITCHIN’ my friends! Now… Alias, if you don’t mind, please hand over that beautiful Federweight gold!”


Aias takes the Federweight strap and looks at it one last time, then hands it over to Vinnie. Lane gives him a little bro hug and then tosses the belt over his free shoulder. He then turns to Demos.


Vinnie Lane: “Demos, same deal for you, my dude. Out with the old, in with the new… let’s have that HeavyMetalweight Title! One of my favorite belt designs, truth be told!”


Demos hesitates. He clings to the HMW, holding it away from Vinnie, having a conversation with his invisible friend. After a few moments of conversation with nobody, Demos slowly holds the belt out toward Vinnie, who grabs it as soon as it’s close enough.


Vinnie Lane: “Had me worried for a sec there, Chuck! Thought you were gonna mess up my screen time! Thanks for being cool though, dude… ”


Vinnie tosses the HMW on top of the Feder, and then he pulls the velvet bag off of his other shoulder. He starts to untie the strings as he speaks.


Vinnie Lane: “Now… you two have been making your cases all week long. You’ve both laid it all out there, let it all on the line. We’ve all seen you both, and you both have definitely put on a spectacle to behold! You’ve both embodied what it means to be a 24/7, Alive 365, 7 out of 7 CHAMPION in this company! And that’s why it is my HONOR, to deliver THIS…”


Vinnie opens the velvet bag and pulls out the brand new XWF Freestyle 24/7 Championship, holding it high in the air for everyone to get a good look at its gleaming gold features.




Vinnie Lane: “... to present THIS gorgeous new championship belt… to the NEW FREESTYLE CHAMPION… ALIAS!”


The crowd goes bonkers as Vinnie hands the new title belt over to Alias. Alias takes the strap and starts to wrap it around his waist, and that’s when Demos gets up into Alias’ face and stares intently into his eyes. Alias and Demos stand nose to nose with neither giving up an inch, and then Demos slowly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a clump of Geri Vayden’s hair.


Vinnie Lane: “Ew! Dude!”


Demos grins, and pulls Vinnie’s mic over to his mouth.


Demos: “Eat… the Left Hand.”


The crowd reacts wildly to Demos’ show of camaraderie… and Alias shakes Demos’ hand before turning to leave. Alias holds his new gold over is head to cheers as he leaves the ring and walks up the ramp.


Vinnie Lane: “And there you have it folks, the NEW OOF!!!”


Demos clobbers Vinnie Lane! Lane hits the mat hard and Demos starts laying punches and kicks into him, and then Jim Jimson slides into the ring and grabs the old HeavyMetalweight Title belt! Demos scurries off under the bottom rope as Lane hops back to his feet and sees Jimson standing there with the purloined title gold…


SUPERKICK!


Vinnie Lane nearly decapitates Jim Jimson with a superkick, knocking him out cold! The HMW Belt flies over the top rope into Demos’ hands, and the Television Champion drags his tag partner out under the ropes and carries his lifeless body to the back as Vinnie Lane stares at them both with wild eyes and tousled hair, his bandanna nowhere to be found, but sure to be on eBay by the end of the night.

---

Icon for Hires Demons starts up and purple lights flash. Ash walks out crouched, eyes sweeping the crowd. As the music picks up she runs down to the ring sliding under the bottom rope. Jumping up on the turn buckle she pumps her fist to the beat, ignoring that Alias is seated across the ring in the other corner, watching her with amusement. She hops down and turns while Alias stands up and points at her. Ash stands across the ring and flips him off while the referee calls for the match to begin.

XTREME TITLE MATCH Alias© - vs - Ash Quinn I Love You Match An I Quit Match, only rather than making your opponent say "I Quit," you have to get them to say "I love you" instead.

Heather: Interesting rules to this match between Alias and Ash Quinn.

Pip: Alias has been wanting to get his hands on Ash for a while now and has been very vocal about it.

Heather: Tonight he had his chance but it’s no ordinary match. This is an I Love You match.

Pip: The goal, much like an I Quit match, is to force your opponent to say the words I Love You.

Heather: This one could get uncomfortable in a hurry.

Ash and Alias meet in the middle of the ring and Alias shows his gloved right hand to her. He goes to take off the glove and show her but she kicks his hands and he backs off, laughing and shaking his hand. He walks around and then they lock up. Ash turns and goes to move behind Alias but he elbows her in the head instead. Alias grabs her by the head and hits a running bulldog for the takedown. Alias stays seated beside Ash and grabs her by the hair, pulls her face up and then slams it on the canvas.

Alias slides under the ropes and to the floor while Ash holds her face in pain. He reaches under the ropes and grabs her leg and starts dragging her out of the ring. Ash uses her free leg to kick Alias a few times until getting a good shot to the mouth to back him away. Ash stands up on the apron while Alias wipes at his mouth and turns around. She jumps off and hits a hurricarona that sends Alias crashing hard into the outside barrier. Ash presses her knee across his throat while he’s down and yells at him to say the words.

Heather: Ash trying to get this one over with early.

Pip: I feel like Alias has paid for more action than this so far, no way he’s giving in this soon.

Heather: Why exactly would you say I love you after getting your head kicked in?

Pip: We don’t question! I don’t want to go to the quiet room again...

Alias reaches up and gouges Ash in the eyes before shoving her off. He rolls over to the ring and takes a look under the apron while Ash tries to get up and see. Alias pulls a cooking sheet from under the ring and jams it into Ash’s ribs. She doubles over while Alias raises the metal sheet up and slams it across her back. She drops he her knees while Alias begins driving the sheet across her back again and again until she is downed. Alias lays the metal sheet across her and then jumps up and lands across her with an elbow drop.

Alias places the metal cooking sheet, all dented up now, across Ash’s back once again but this time climbs onto the ring apron. He hops off with a senton this time but Ash rolls out of the way and Alias lands with a thud. Ash gets to her feet, holding her back in pain while Alias crawls over and grabs the metal sheet once again. Ash suddenly jumps and hits a perfect spinning heel kick that drives the sheet right into Alias’ face, sending him falling backwards. Ash grabs the metal sheet now and stalks Alias who pulls a fire extinguisher from under the ring and sprays it into her face.

Ash mostly shields it with the sheet but this allows Alias to get to his feet and smash the fire extinguisher into the metal sheet, driving it into Ash’s face this time and knocking her to the ground. Alias goes back to the ring and grabs a steel chair this time while Ash crawls to the barrier and pulls herself up. Alias swings the chair and just misses as Ash avoids it. Alias spins with the chair and swings again while Ash just ducks out of the way and the chair cracks the steel ring post. Ash jumps with a drop kick and hits the chair into Alias who turns and rolls back into the ring in pain. Ash flips him off and hops the barrier to leave.

Heather: What the hell, I think Ash is leaving!

Pip: She’s had enough of Alias already.

Heather: She’s been keeping a low profile since Alias first started calling her out I guess she wants nothing to do with him.

Ash makes her way past the barrier and starts leaving when suddenly Marf stands in her way. She looks at him in shock and shakes her head in disbelief. He takes a step towards her and she turns and runs back, hopping the barrier and rolling into the ring. She turns around and Alias grabs her and hits a side slam to take her down. Alias gets up and looks over the ropes and into the crowd at Marf for a moment. Marf waves and continues to watch while Alias smirks at him and turns his attention back to Ash.

Heather: What the hell is Marf doing here!?

Pip: Alias isn’t the only one after Ash Quinn these days.

Alias picks Ash up but she rakes his eyes before hooking him and hitting a suplex. She rolls through so that she’s on top of Alias and tries choking him but he shoves her off. She backs up and hits the ropes before running back and hitting a front drop kick to the seated Alias. Ash rolls out of the ring and pulls a kendo stick from under the ring. She slides back into the ring while Alias is getting back to his feet.

Ash sneers and then cracks the kendo stick across the back of Alias. He winces and drops to a knee. Ash swings again and the kendo stick connects with Alias’ back once more, sending him reeling into the ropes, trying to hold himself up. Ash runs up and smashes him again across the upper back with the kendo stick as it splinters with this shot. Alias yells out in pain but then motions for Ash to do it again. She gives him a weird look and then swings the kendo stick this time hitting him across the back of his head.

Heather: Did Alias just ask for more?

Pip: I think so, the crazy son of a bitch.

Heather: No swearing!

Ash breaks the splintered kendo stick over her knee and then beats on Alias with the two smaller pieces. He rolls under the ropes and drops to the floor. He crawls under the ring as Ash hops out of the ring to chase him. She goes under the ring to find him but right away comes stumbling out coughing as Alias let off another fire extinguisher while they were both under there. Ash wipes at her face while Alias comes out from under the ring holding the extinguisher and wearing a gas mask. Ash turns and swings wildly but Alias ducks and rams the fire extinguisher into her thigh.

Ash falls down holding her leg in pain as Alias takes the long nozzle and starts choking Ash with it now. Alias tosses the fire extinguisher aside and removes his glove on the mangled right hand. He mounts Ash and starts striking her with only his right hand. After a few good shots Ash grabs the hand and hesitates before biting the already gross hand. Alias slams her head on the floor before getting off of her and shaking his right hand in pain. He puts the glove back on while Ash pulls herself back up with help from the barrier, dry heaving a few times while trying to spit out the taste of Alias’ hand.

Heather: No amount of mouthwash will ever be enough to clean that taste I bet.

Pip: That was absolutely disgusting!

Heather: Don’t get soft on me and take off again.

Pip: ....shut up!

Alias goes to grab Ash but she kicks him in the gut. She grabs him by the head and tries to throw him into the ring post but Alias reverses it and goes to send Ash hard into the barrier instead. Ash manages to counter by hopping on top of the barrier. She quickly leaps off with a moonsault and crashes down onto Alias. Ash gets back up and crawls away from him before getting to her feet. Once again she flips Alias off and this time begins shuffling up the ramp to leave. She looks over to Marf still in the crowd and flips him off as well while heading to the entrance.

Heather: And there she goes again!

Pip: I wouldn’t be so sure...

Ash stops dead in her tracks as Lycana appears at the top of the stage entrance. Ash smacks both arms to her sides in frustration and yells a very audible “fuck” before turning and slowly heading back to the ring. Alias is already seated in the middle, waiting for Ash to return. She grabs a steel chair from under the ring before entering. Alias, standing now, runs over and drills her with a forearm before she can even stand. She drops the chair while Alias lifts her up for a body slam. Ash manages to slide out behind Alias, low blow him and then DDTs him onto the chair.

Ash punches the mat a few times before placing the dented chair across the face of Alias. She climbs up to the top rope. She sends one middle finger at Marf while simultaneously giving the other to Lycana. She leaps off with a big time elbow drop but Alias slides out of the way but leaves the chair behind. Ash crashes onto the chair and screams in pain, rolling around holding her arm now. Alias slowly gets back up while Ash is still down, trying to pull herself up. Alias steadies and as Ash gets up he destroys her with his Fatality uppercut, sending her through the ropes and to the floor.

Heather: I think he knocked her out cold!

Pip: How is he going to get her to say I love you!?

Heather: I bet you never thought you’d say that while watching a match!

Pip: You got me there...

Alias looks out to the downed, unmoving Ash before heading out of the ring and to the announce table. He grabs a microphone before going over to the ring and reaching around underneath. He pulls something out wrapped in a towel as Ash is still out on the floor. He slowly walks over to Ash while carefully unwrapping the towel. Alias holds it high in the air and reveals a blow torch while the crowd pops. Ash stirs but Alias quickly mounts her and pins her arms under his knees. He lights up the blowtorch while Ash screams out, realizing what’s happening.

Heather: Oh god is Alias going to get his literal revenge!?

Pip: Nope, no way I watch this! Tell when it’s over!

Heather: Stop covering your eyes!

Alias holds the microphone up to Ash’s mouth while laughing now. He smiles down and slowly begins to lower the blowtorch towards her head. Ash furiously struggles to get free but Alias has her pinned underneath him and isn’t budging. Alias chuckles and lowers the blowtorch some more, bringing it within inches of her face when she starts to scream into the microphone.

“Stop! Stop it! I quit! I fuckin love you now fuck off!!!”

The referee calls for the bell as Alias turns off the blowtorch, cracks it over Ash’s head and tosses it aside. He gets up and raises his arms in victory while staring down at Ash Quinn.

Winner by love-mission, and STILL XTreme Champion, Alias!!!

Heather: Alias defeats Ash in an awkward finish if I’ve ever seen one!

Pip: Thank god we saw no burning flesh!

After the match, Alias stands staring at Quinn, holding a blowtorch in his hands.

PIP: Oh no, Heather. I don’t think Alias is done!

HEATHER: This is what he’s been waiting for! It’s his chance to get back at Ash!

Flames shoot out of the end of the blowtorch as he starts inching closer and closer to Ash Quinn.

PIP: Jesus, don’t do it!

The lights in the building flicker before finally going out. A red glow shines on the X-Tron, and a video begins to play:





As the video stops, the lights stay down for several worrisome seconds before they rise up again. Ash Quinn is on the ground in one corner, while Alias stands in the centre of the ring facing the screen. He rotates his head to the side, looking down at Ash Quinn.

Slowly, he paces towards her and he…





Reaches out his hand?

PIP: What’s this?

Alias casts the blowtorch to the side and it rolls out of the ring. He nods at Ash, his hand still outstretched.

HEATHER: He’s offering her a hand up!

Ash is understandably suspicious. The crowd hushes as it awaits a response. Slowly, Ash reaches her hand out and Alias clasps it. He pulls her up to her feet! A loud cheer rings around the crowd as the two stare silently at each other. Alias lets go of Ash’s hand, and drops down to the mat. He rolls out of the ring and purposefully walks to the back, never looking back to see Ash’s reaction.

---

The X-Tron suddenly crackles to life with the Left Hand logo. It fades off into static for a moment, before suddenly a brick wall appears. The camera is shaky for a moment, obviously fed through a cell phone, before the view flips and Marf is seen. He smirks as if he can hear the intense boos filling the arena.

Marf: Hello Philly... and hello Tommy Romeo, my old friend! I hope when I dropped you on your head last time you didn’t forget about us. We certainly haven’t forgotten about you. We figured you’d be watching your clients match, and we have a little surprise for you! You should probably get that fucking dipshit Shawn Wylde. He’s not going to want to miss this!

Marf holds the camera up and out a little bit, bringing Lycana into frame standing behind him. Only she isnt alone. She has one arm wrapped securely around the neck of a quietly sobbing Renee, the other coming up to wiggle her fingers at the audience.

Marf: Look who we found! Ooooo that’s right feast your eyes!

Renee is looking a little worse for the wear, clearly having been worked over during her scuffle to get away from Marf and Lycana. Her lower lip oozes blood as she looks tearfully from captor to captor. Marf leans in far too close and smells Renee before laughing and backing off.

Marf: It’s precious Renee! Mmm and she smells real nice tonight guys.

Lycana grabs Renee’s face and forces the redhead to look into her eyes as she smiles vindictively. She turns Renee, and her own visage towards the camera.

Lycana: We warned you to keep them under lock and key. We warned you to stay out of our business. But you just can’t seem to do that, can you Romeo? So now pretty Renee here... gets to pay the price!

She lets go of Renee, sending her reeling backwards with an open palm smack against her mouth, opening up the cut even more. Renee stumbles directly into Marf, who wraps his fingers around her throat, and holds her steady. The camera up close and personal now, as we hear The Dissentients voices.

Marf: This is a warning. We suggest you heed it.

Marf slams Renee hard back into the brick wall, but doesn’t let her go.

Lycana: And this one? Well... this one is a personal gift from us.

Marf sends Renee’s petite body crashing against the unforgiving wall once more. His fingers release and she crumples to the ground. The camera pans back around to both their smirking faces before abruptly going to black

PIP: I can’t believe what I just saw! They manhandled that helpless woman! Shawn Wylde's girlfriend!

HH: I don’t think that’s going to go over well with RMI

---

”The following Tag Team contest is scheduled for one fall…”







”Introducing first, the team of Atara Themis and Betsy Granger!


The crowd ERUPTS as Atara and Betsy step out in front of THREE THOUSAND strong. The ladies soak in the reception as they make their way towards the ring.


HHL: The chatter about this match has been off the charts since it was announced.


Pip: I fully expect it to live up to the hype.


Atty and Granger reach ringside where they slide into the ring under the bottom ropes and are to their feet where they cater to the crowd as the music fades away.






”Introducing their opponents representing BoB, Bobby Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles, THEM NO GOOD BASTARDS!


On the Xtron we see the telltale B.O.B. logo, and Love Spreads cuts throughout the arena like a chainsaw. The letters disassemble and form the sentence "Bet On Bastards" on the tron, which fades to show Them No Good Bastards. Thunder Knuckles walks out onto the entrance ramp, hyped and ready to fight, pointing out into the crowd. Behind him, Bobby Bourbon deliberately walks out and stops, also pointing out into the crowd. Both men glance at each other and bump fists, then in unison point into the ring. The crowd chants.

*NO GOOD BASTARDS!*NO GOOD BASTARDS!*NO GOOD BASTARDS!*

TK slides into the ring and gets up onto a knee, beckoning the crowd as Bobby climbs the steps and enters the ring behind him. TK stands and appeals to the crowd as Bobby raises his arms at 45 degree angles.

Bobby Bourbon & Thunder Knuckles - vs - Atara Themis & Betsy Granger Be My Valentine Tag Team Match The match itself is a typical Tag style, but your RPs must have compliments about your opponents instead of trash

DING…. DING… DING…..


Thunder Knuckles starts things off with Atara. The two circle each other before locking up center ring. TK immediately takes a side headlock that Atara counters into a hammer lock which sees Thunder Knuckles makes his way to the ropes where he steps one foot through them causing the official to call for the break. Atara releases the hammerlock and backs out towards the center of the ring. Thunder Knuckles steps back into the ring. He turns towards Atara and blows her a kiss.

TK and Atara circle once again and as Atara is looking to lock up it is TK with a cheap boot to the midsection garnering boos from the crowd as he takes over with clubbing blows across Atara’s back before he drives her back into his corner. Bourbon tags the back of TK as he pins Atty in the corner with his shoulder allowing Bobby to take liberties with solid right hands to the jaw as the referee lays the count to TK who steps out to the ring apron at the four count. Bobby brings Atty out from the corner where he scoops her up over his shoulder where he looks to deliver a running Powerslam! Atty slides down to the back of Bourbon locking in a sleeper hold! The crowd roars as Bourbon staggers towards the corner housing Betsy. The referee starts asking Bourbon to surrender which he refuses!

Bourbon turns his body towards the ropes but is close enough for Grager to tag Atara. Betsy steps through the ropes delivering a dropkick to the right knee of Bourbon bringing the big man down to one knee. Atty releases the sleeper and delivers a Superkick to the back of Bourbons head which sends him forward into a DDT from Granger! Besty makes a cover on Bobby!


1!!














2!!














TH…

Bourbon kicks out.


HHL: Atara and Granger threw some tandem offense together to take the big man down.


Betsy is back to her feet where she picks Bourbon up to a seated position before she charges looking for a running knee to the face, Bourbon falls back flat on the mat avoiding the contact as he gets back up and as Granger turns around she is turned inside out by a strong clothesline from Bourbon turning the Shooting Star Champion inside out. Bobby tags TK back into the match.

Bobby picks up Granger delivering a back breaker where he holds her across his knee as TK steps through the ropes where he charges across the ring bouncing off the far side and drives a running knee drop across the upper body of Granger knocking her off Bourbon’s knee. Bobby is back out to the ring apron as TK makes the cover on Granger.


Pip: Lunch Money!



1!!














2!!














THR..


Granger kicks out of the near fall.


HHL: Plenty of fight left in Betsy Granger.


TK gets back to his feet where he picks Betsy up and twists her right arm before backing up towards his corner where Bourbon tags back into the contest.


Pip: Frequent tags being made by Them No Good Bastards.


Bourbon is back into the ring where we see TK snap Betsy over with an arm whip to a seated position on the mat for Bourbon to deliver a basement dropkick to her face knocking her back to the mat. Bobby makes the cover.


1!!













2!!














THR…


Granger is kicks out again to another ovation from the crowd. Bobby gets to his feet where he reaches down picking Betsy up off the mat, the crowd solidly starts getting behind Granger as we see Bobby shoot her across the ring and into a neutral corner. Bourbon charges in after Betsy who throws a boot up to the jaw of Bourbon that staggers him out towards the center of the ring but does not stop him from charging forward again looking to deliver an Avalanche Splash only to see Betsy side step Bobby sending him crashing into the turnbuckles!

Betsy spins him around as she drives a boot to the midsection before locking in a front face lock and peeling off a Tornado DDT to Bourbon! The crowd pops huge for Granger as she works her way back to her feet as Bobby now starts to stir. Granger tags Atara back into the match who enters the ring and waits for Bobby to reach his feet where she delivers a stiff Atara Kick to the chest of Boubon that sends him bouncing off the ropes where a blind tag from TK is made followed by Bourbon who is met with a spinning powerskam!

Atara does not know TK is legal as TK steps through the ropes where he comes up behind Atara and locks in the SLEEPER hold!


HHL: X-Bux Dream from Thunder Knuckles!


Atara fights it off before breaking the Sleeper out with a sit out jaw breaker! The crowd roars as Atara is back to her feet where TK charges forward swinging with a wild clothesline that she easily evades and as TK bounces off the near side Atara bounces off the far side and delivers a perfectly executed Judgement of Paris! Atara makes the cover hooking the near leg.


1!!












2!!













THRE..


Bobby Bourbon breaks the count which brings Betsy into the ring only to be cut off by the referee. Atara is back to her feet where she starts throwing hands to the midsection of the illegal Bourbon which gives TK enough time to get back to his feet and where he comes up behind Atara and delivers a release German Suplex. Bobby steps back out to the apron as the referee finally gets Granger back outside as well. Thunder Knuckles reaches his feet where he taunts the crowd garnering some boos before turning his attention back towards Atara. TK walks over, he reaches down to pick her up off the mat only to be caught by an Inside cradle.


1!!














2!!














THRE..


TK escapes the near fall to a gasp from the crowd, he beats Atara to her feet and swings with a right hand, Atara blocks and counters with an open handed chop across the chest. Atara follows up with a kick to the side of the ribs, TK catches the foot only to be met with an Enziguiri to the temple! TK drops to one knee as Atara rolls through to her corner where Betsy tags back into the match!

Betsy charges with a semi circular kick to the head!

Granger makes the cover.


1!!














2!!














THRE…

TK escapes to another gasp from the crowd.


Pip: Granger and Atara are working rather well with each other opposite Them No Good Bastards.


Granger is back to her feet where he reaches down picking TK up off the mat. She chops him across the chest before sending him sailing toward the ropes, TK bounces off the near side as Granger drops her head looking for a back body drop but ends up eating a swinging neck breaker!

TK works his way back to his feet where he makes his way to his corner and tags in Bourbon. Bobby is back in the ring where he reaches down picking Betsy up off the mat. He snatches a bear hug on around the waist of Granger and starts squeezing for all he’s got. The referee is in prime position as he starts asking Granger to surrender which she refuses.

Bourbon continues to squeeze the life out of Granger. The referee asks her again to surrender and again she refuses, this time Bobby delivers a Belly to Belly Suplex from the Bear Hug! He makes the cover.


1!!














2!!















THRE..


Atara dives on top of the cover at the last second breaking the pin attempt to a huge roar from the crowd. The referee quickly gets Atara out to the ring apron while inside the ring Bobby gets back up to his feet. He spouts out towards Atara on the ring apron before turning his attention back towards Granger. Bobby reaches down picking her up off the mat before taking her back into a neutral corner.

Bobby chops Granger across the chest before hoisting her up to a seated position on the top turnbuckle.

Bobby steps up to the middle ropes where he locks in a front face lock on Betsy where he attempts a superplex! Granger latches on to the top rope with her free hand blocking the attempt! Bourbon tries a second time that is met with the same block from Granger who slips down through the legs of Bourbon and pulls his head between his legs and delivers a superkick!

Atara quickly enters the ring where she and Granger follow up with a double team powerbomb on Bourbon off the middle rope! Atara rolls out to the floor as Granger makes another cover.


1!!











2!!














THRE…


The crowd boos loudly as Thunder Knuckles pulls Granger off the cover breaking he count. TK cusses the official as he exits the ring. Granger, the crowd behind her gets back to her feet where she sizes Bourbon up as he rolls over to his chest and starts pushing himself up off the mat. Granger comes forward looking for a standing kick to the temple only to have Bourbon catch her foot.

He stands back up and spins her around looking to take her head off with another clothesline, Granger ducks and charges towards the ropes and as she bounces off the ropes Atara makes the blind tag. Bourbon spins around where he is met with a single leg dropkick that sends him back bouncing off the far side where TK makes a blind tag.

Atara looks for a second Judgement of Paris that Bourbon blocks before driving a boot into the midsection of Atara, he hoist her up with a Powerbomb into a Backstabber by TK! TK pops back up to his feet where he charges and knocks Betsy off the ring apron before turning back towards Atara as Bourbon picks her up off the mat!


HHL: Them No Good Bastards have their sights locked on Atara!


Bobby locks a front face lock before hoisting her up in the air with a vertical suplex! He holds her in position allowing the blood to run to her head before falling backwards where Thunder Knuckles catches her on the way down with the most amazing single foot DDT you have ever seen completing the suplex/foot DDT combo!


Pip: RAINBOW LASER DEATH SEQUENCE!


TK rolls into the cover on Atrara!


1!!



















2!!























THRE…


The crowd explodes as Granger from out of nowhere dives on top of the cover breaking the pin attempt at the very last second!


HHL: The Shooting Star Champion narrowly keeps this one alive for her and Atara!


Bobby charges towards Granger who ducks down near the ropes yanking the top rope down sending Bourbon spilling out to the floor! Granger rolls out to the ring apron as we see Atara inching her way towards the corner and the tag is made! Granger enters the ring legally where she charges towards Thunder Knuckles and swings with a clothesline, TK ducks and takes a back waist lock running Granger forward towards the ropes where he rolls her up!


1!!














2!!














THRE…


Betsy counters the roll up with a roll up!!



1!!
















2!!





















THREE!!



DING… DING…. DING….

WINNERS VIA PINFALL: BETSY GRANGER and ATARA THEMSIS

The crowd roars at the surprising pinfall as Betsy and Atara escape to the entry as while Bobby rolls back into the ring just a little too late.


Pip: Granger and Atara just fluked themselves to a victory!


HHL: Would you stop!


Atara and Granger celebrate the victory while TK gets to his knee with a complete look of shock on his face. Atara blows him a kiss as we fade to commercial break.

---

PC: "Coming up next is the Candy Weapons Match, which is exactly what it sounds like."

HHL: "We got a slight preview of this earlier when John Black used a candy g-string on one of his opponents in the Valentine's Day Massacre Match."




Danza Kuduro hits and Hanari spins and dances his way out to the ramp in traditional latin Bachata style. He is carrying the flag of the Dominican Republic on a flag pole over his shoulder. He swings his hips and points at the ladies in the front row, winking and making the gun symbol with his thumb and index finger of his free hand. He spins again and walks his way down to the ring with a cocky head swing and a million dollar smile. Climbing the ring steps he gets into the ring, getting on the top rope and waving the flag a few times before jumping down and preparing for the match.




Arkin Blackwater emerges from the entrance dancing, a smirk upon his face. He makes his way down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope. After which, he hops to his feet with a grin and takes his place within the squared circle.




Centurion walks out onto the ramp and heads down the aisle. He then walks over to the steel steps, where he climbs up them and into the ring. Cent checks out both his opponents, sizing them up for the match ahead.


PC: "Is Centurion allowed to have candy? I don't think his old heart can take it!"

HHL: "Well, good thing for him, this match isn't about eating the candy!"

Hanari Carnes - vs - Arkin Blackwater - vs - Centurion Candy Weapons Match There will be a variety of weapons scattered around ringside, with the catch being they're all made of Valentine's candy!

DING… DING… DING…


Centurion, Carnes and Blackwater all reach center ring where three way smack talking begins before all three break out into an exchange of right hands and chops amongst the three before Blackwater ducks a shot from Carnes that decks Centurion. Blackwater drives a knee to the midsection of Carnes before hurling him out to the floor through the ropes. Blackwater turns his attention towards Centurion where he walks into an overhead belly to belly suplex! Out on the floor Carnes picks up a Chocolate chair and waffles it across the back of Centurion as he bounces off the ropes causing him to stagger forward where he is met with a roundhouse kick from Blackwater taking him down before running and diving through the ropes with a Suicide Dive to Carnes!


HHL: This is going to be a strange affair with all the weapon made out of candy!


Pip: Shameless plug for Valentine’s Day, and to all the men out there remember to wear a rubber tomorrow.


Blackwater pops back up to his feet where he pulls Large Candy Cane stick out from under the ring and as Carnes is all fours Blackwater breaks the Candy Cane over his back. In the ring Centurion has gotten to one knee where he observes what is going on outside. He rolls out to the floor where he comes up behind Blackwater delivering a snap German Suplex on the floor!

Centurion turns his attention towards Carnes where picks him up and hurls him back into the ring. Centurion reaches under the ring where he pulls out a large heart shaped box of chocolates and slides into the ring. Carnes reaches one knee before being cracked over the dome sending chocolates flying! Centurion follows up with a V-Trigger! He makes the cover on Carnes.


1!!













2!!













THR..

Blackwater pulls Centurion off the cover before picking him up off the mat where he hurls him through the ropes sending him smacking right shoulder first into the ring post! Centurions momentum sends him spilling out to the ring apron where he falls down to the floor. In the ring Blackwater turns and makes his way towards Carnes where he walks into a Samoan Drop from Carnes!


Pip: You have to have eyes in the back of your head when you are involved in Triple Threats, Carnes took advantage.


Carnes measures Blackwater and as he gets to one knee Carnes comes forward with a step up Enzugiri to the temple! Carnes immediately presses the cover.


1!!












2!!
















THRE…


Blackwater kicks out.


HHL: Carnes is looking to follow up on the advantage.


Carnes is back to his feet where he picks Blackwater up off the mat, he locks a front face lock before snapping off a suplex. Carnes back to a vertical base looks to bounce off the ropes only to have Centurion yank his ankles out from under him from the floor! Centurion pulls Carnes out to ringside where he lights him up with chops across the chest before hurling him violently into the security barrier. Centurion slides back into the ring catching Blackwater with a standing dropkick that knocks Blackwater back into the ropes. Centurion is quickly to his feet where he charges towards Arkin who elevates Centurion over the top rope and out to the ring apron. Blackwater turns around swinging with a right hand, Centurion blocks and counters with a headbut across the bridge of the nose.

Centurion steps ropes catapulting off the bottom rope catching Arkin with a swinging DDT spiking Blackwater head first into the mat! Centurion quickly makes a cover hooking the near leg.


1!!













2!!


















THRE…


Carnes crashes on top of Centurion breaking the cover. Blackwater rolls towards the ropes as Carnes picks Centurion up off the mat where he takes a back waist lock and delivers a bridging German Suplex!


1!!















2!!
















THRE…


Centurion kicks out of the near fall.


Pip: Neither man can grasp a firm advantage because just when they do is when the tide changes.


Carnes is the first to his feet, he picks Centurion up off the mat where he rocks him with a European Uppercut sending him back into a neutral corner. Carnes turns around and makes his way over snatching up Arkin before shooting him across the ring into Centurion stacking them in the corner!

Carnes charges towards both men when Blackwater explodes from the corner with a Spear to Carnes!

Centurion comes out of the corner with a Curb Stomp to Blackwater! Centurion makes a cover hooking the near leg.


1!!














2!!














THRE…

Arkin kicks out at the last second!


HHL: The match continues!


Centurion rolls out to the floor where he tosses the ring apron back and pulls out a Gingerbread Table! He slides it into the ring but as he climbs back up on the ring apron he is met with a Superkick from Blackwater that sends him falling backwards to the floor! Arkin turns his attention towards Carnes who is starting to work his way back to his feet. He comes forward locking a front face lock, he hoists him up in the air before falling forward planting Carnes face and chest first into the canvass! Carnes rolls over to his back as Blackwater gets back to his feet where he steps out to the ring apron and starts to make his way towards the nearest set of turnbuckles.


Pip: Arkin is looking to fly!


Arkin makes his way up to the top turnbuckle where he sizes up Carnes before leaping off the top rope with a Swanton Bomb!


HHL: Prime Target by Blackwater!


Arkin makes the cover!



1!!














2!!
















THRE…


Carnes kicks out to a pop from the crowd!


Pip: Carnes kicks out!


Arkin gets back to his feet where he shifts his eyes towards the Gingerbread Table! He starts to set it up in the ring before placing it towards the center of the ring. He turns his attention back towards Carnes where he picks him up off the mat. Blackwater drives Carnes face first into the table before rolling him on top of it. Blackwater points up signifying he is going back up!

Blackwater makes his way towards a set of buckles where he starts to climb up to the top rope from inside the ring. Centurion slides back into the ring where he pushes himself up to a vertical base and rushes across the ring towards the corner while Blackwater reaches the top rope thinking about a moon sault, Centurion runs up the buckles and on one solid motion brings Arkin off the top rope with a 1,000 Mile Slam on to Carnes driving all three through the gingerbread table!

Arkin rolls towards the ropes leaving Centurion to make the cover on Carnes.


1!!
















2!!




















3!!



DING… DING…DING…

WINNER VIA PINFALL: CENTURION

---

We see Big D on the X-Tron, sitting in a blank room with the World Heavyweight Championship slung over his shoulder. He stares into the camera, clenching his Title as if it were his child.

D: "I'm not there tonight because I've been busy preparing for the biggest match of my life. Most of you are probably think 'why? what difference does it make?' It's no secret most of you expect Page to wipe the floor with me. Whether it's my opponent, the fans, management, the asshole who made the March Madness poster, and even my wife........... NONE OF YOU expect me to walk away from Warfare with either one of our belts."

"But you all thought the same thing when I wrestled Mastermind and Gilly, but I still walked away with the Xtreme Championship. You said it when I wrestled Duke, and you said it again before I took the Internet Title away from Bobbi London. If you're not seeing the trend, it's that the haters are usually wrong about me. Am I perfect? No. I've had my losses, some almost as embarrassing as losing to the Foot DDT, and yet I've bounced back from every one. Page and I? We're one in the same. Two men who've chased something our entire careers, the only difference being he finally caught it. Well, now it's Big D's turn to experience life at the top. This World Title of mine has been great, but it's about time I get the respect a Champion deserves; and the only way to do that is by becoming the Undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion.............. something I plan to do Wednesday Night."

"So don't get too cocky, Page, because I've shocked the world before, and I'll do it again! And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!"

Big D gets up and walks off screen as the camera fades to black.

---

PC: So we heard earlier that if Jenny Myst wins this match, becomes Television Champion, she foregoes her spot in the March Madness Tournament.

HHL: But if she wins, she has a choice to make! Give up a shot at the Shooting Star title and focus solely on Television Title, or face Ms. Granger in a winner-take-all at March Madness!


Jenny gets into the ring with a pose as she waits for her opponent to enter.



The music hits as a video package of Charlie Nickles laying fools out rolls on the X-tron. Demos walks down the ramp, his eyes never leaving the blonde bombshell in the ring, his eyes cutting a hole through her. Title over his shoulder he walks quietly to the ring, almost as if in a trance. Getting into the ring, he stares at Jenny. The ref takes the belt off of his shoulder as the bell rings.

Television Championship Charlie Nickles© - vs - Jenny Myst Charlie may choose the stipulation in his 1st RP

PC: Here we go. The Main Event is under way!


The two circle as Jenny seems cautious at first, trying to figure out how to approach the big man. Eventually, the two tie up. Demos has the clear strength advantage as he tosses Jenny down like a rag doll. She gets up quick with a shocked look at his brute strength. They circle, then lock up again and again Demos throws her down hard. Jenny scoots back a little, eyes wide, realizing the raw strength of her opponent and the clear size difference. Jenny comes back at Demos, and he swings a big club, but Jenny uses her speed and quickness to duck it, coming off the ropes and hitting a drop kick. Demos doesn't go down, but is wobbling. Jenny pops up and goes back off the ropes, going for a flying cross body but Demos catches her and plants her to the mat with a scoop slam. Jenny grabs at her back and scoots away again. Demos stares down at her expressionless.


Jenny gets up and stands in the corner. She is running through her options in her mind, trying to find the best way to attack this challenge.

PC: Jenny has no idea what to do about the big man here! I don't think she was expecting this!

HHL: It's not fair! The Queen was expecting Charlie Nickles, not this thing! He should be DQ'd!

PC: You're as delusional as she is!

Jenny explodes out of the corner, firing off a series of punches to the head of the big man. Every shot to the face seems not to phase him, however, as he only takes a minor step back on each one. She fires off a few more shots and Demos takes a handful of blonde hair, causing Jen to wince. He twists her head, looking at her. Lifting her up he goes to slam her again but she slides behind, shoving him away. As he turns around she hits a standing drop kick. He stumbles back into the corner. Jenny stays on the offensive. She runs and hits a running knee, and Demos stumbles out of the corner. She climbs the ropes quickly and jumps.

Tilt-a-whirl-head scissors! Demos is finally down.

She uses her athleticism and cart wheels. Insult To Injury! Standing Moonsault Double Knee Drop lands both on the mid section of Nickles.

Jenny covers quickly.


1


























2













Demos pops up.

Myst grins, feeling more in control now, coming off the ropes with a knee to the face.

She yells something to the crowd as she drops a knee down over the throat of Demos. She holds it there as the ref counts to 5, forcing her to break to the hold.

HHL: There is that mean streak we are accustomed to seeing!

Myst gets up and yells something at the ref. She turns around, however, to Demos who is standing up. She stops in her tracks as he stares at her.


He grins a toothy grin as Jenny swings again. Demos catches her arm, twisting it. She cries out and goes to one knee as he continues to twist. She is fighting to get back to her feet, and Demos kicks her in the gut. Bending over with an audible "ooff", Demos plants her with a DDT.

He covers.


1











































2






































3--Myst gets a shoulder up!

A wicked grin crosses his face as he picks her up again by the hair, tossing the small woman like a rag doll into the corner.

Walking over he puts a big boot to the throat of Myst, and returns the 5 second favor. The ref is counting and finally forces Demos to break the hold. Myst is coughing as Demos picks her up by the hair. She fires off an elbow, he swings and she ducks, tripping him face first into the turnbuckle. He drops to one knee and she kicks him in the back of the head. He is laying under the ropes as Jenny climbs to the middle turnbuckle.

She jumps down with a springboard splash, landing on Demos.

She stays on top.

1







2




Demos pops out again.

Jenny slaps the mat out of frustration as she looks up at the timer.


She gets up as Demos is using the ropes to get himself up. She swings again and Demos ducks it, drop toe holding her into the ropes. She lands chest/torso over the middle rope. Demos grabs her legs.

Decapitator!!!!!

Her chest/torso smacks the middle rope.

Demos does it again.

And again.

And a fourth time.

PC: Good god. Four decapitators and Myst can barely breathe!

She is coughing, tears flowing as she is having trouble breathing. She rolls out of the ring. Demos follows.

Myst is crawling on the mat outside. Demos kicks her in the gut, flipping her onto her back. Jenny is still coughing.

PC: Myst may really be hurt here. Her torso and throat has been put through the ringer by four decapitators in a row!

Jenny is crawling. Demos kicks her again. The ref is counting as the clock is under 5.

She uses the steps to get herself up. Demo charges, going for the running knee to take her head off!

JENNY MOVES!

Demos crashes into the steps knee first!

Jenny rolls into the ring, grabbing her upper chest and still coughing.

Demos is grabbing at his leg. The ref is at 7.

HHL: Charlie could get counted out here!

PC: Yeah but the title doesn't change hands on a count out!

Demos barely makes it into the ring for the ten. He is back to his feet.

Jenny is up. Demos swings, Jenny leg sweeps, taking out his center of gravity!

HHL: Myst just doing what she can to survive here!

Demos however, won't stay down. Myst sees him slowed, however, and tries to end it.

A kick to the gut, she sets him up for the twist of fate (Pink Perfection!).

He shoves her off. She bounces off the ropes.

MANDIBLE CLAW!!!!!!!!!!

DEMOS HAS THE MANDIBLE CLAW ON MYST WHO IS FLAILING!!!

MYST IS FADING!

She reaches for something.......

Just then, Ash Quinn and Sarina Hazard hit ring side!

PC: HELLS BELLS! HELLS BELLS IS HERE!

The ref is distracted by them as Jenny quick draws, spraying Demos in the face with the pepper spray from her bra. He breaks the hold as she falls back coughing, a disgusted look on her face. Demos is rubbing his eyes.

Sarina is on the apron. The ref doesn't see Ash Quinn in the ring. She has the TV title in hand!!

"THIS IS FOR RELENTLESS, PRICK!"

She hauls off and levels Demos with the TV title!

PC: DAMNIT! ASH QUINN JUST TOOK NICKLES HEAD NEARLY OFF HIS SHOULDERS WITH THE TV TITLE!

She tosses the belt but the crowd cheers as Betsy Granger hits the ring.


DDT ON QUINN from Granger!

She rolls out of the ring as Sarina jumps down. Jenny crawls into a cover.

1




















PC: NO!




























2


PC: DAMNIT NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!

























3!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHARLIE KICKS OUT AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The clock is down to a minute.

Jenny notices Betsy outside the ring. Still shaking off the effects from the claw, her hair a mess, she says something to Betsy outside the ring. She points. Betsy points back. She waves off Betsy as she turns around.

Devil Hook Drop!!!!!!!!!!!

Demos plants Myst!

Sarina climbs the apron, Betsy pulls her off!

Nickles drops into the leg hook.



THE CROWD COUNTS OUT LOUD


1


























2

































3!


BUT THE REF WAS DISTRACTED!

He is paying attention to the two ladies fighting on the outside. Demos walks over and spins the ref around. He points to Jenny who is still down.

He covers.



1

























2

































3!!!!!!!!

The buzzer sounds as the ref counts 3.

He waves it off as Demos rolls off Myst.

The ref calls over the ring announcer, saying something.

It is then announced over the loud speaker.

"JENNY MYST WAS PINNED AND WAS COUNTED 3 AS THE BUZZER SOUNDED...DUE TO REFEREE DECISION............THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL XWF TELEVISION CHAMPION: DEMOS!!!

HHL: NO! ITS A TIME LIMIT DRAW! A DRAW!

PC: EITHER WAY, THE TITLE DOESN'T CHANGE HANDS. DEMOS IS THE WINNER AND LITTLE MISS MYST IS ABOUT TO BECOME A CUE BALL!

Demos rolls back into the ring. He has a razor. He picks up Myst, sitting her up. He has the buzzers in hand.

HHL: I can't watch this!

Betsy has left the ring side area. Ash Quinn and Sarina are in the ring. They attack Demos. The big man fights them off but Sarina hits Head over Heels!!!!!

The Kai-Ropractor on Demos!

Jenny is up, holding her back and wincing, directing traffic. The crazy Ash Quinn has the clippers. She tosses them to Myst as Quinn hits Epidemic! (The spear).

Ash rolls out of the ring and grabs a small velvet bag from under the ring.

They hold Demos sitting up as Jenny wobbily grabs the sissors! A sick look on her face she begins to cut locks of Demos hair. He begins to move, and Sarina slams the clippers she has in her hand into his forehead. Just then, Jenny's eyes narrow. She cuts, Demos yells for a moment and blood begins to run down the side of his face. She pulls off a piece of his right ear!!

PC: MY GOD! MYST JUST TOOK A PARK OF CHARLIE'S EAR OFF!!!!!!!

Jim Jimson hits the ring as the three ladies scatter, coming together outside the ring. Nickles is down and holding his ear as the three women back up the ramp, Myst holding a clump of bloody ear and hair in her palm with a smirk!

PC: HELLS BELLS HAS GONE TOO FAR HERE! THERE IS GOING TO BE HELL TO PAY FOR THIS!


We fade to commercial.

---

3×

2×

1×

2x Freestyle Champion
1× Federweight Champion
2× Heavymetalweight Champion
1x Fade 2 Black High Voltage Champion
1x Fight NYC! Brooklyn Champion
1x Fight NYC! Island Champion
#29 XWF Top 50 2021
AW Top 100 2021
#13 EFed Podcast Top 100 2022
#67 Efed Podcast Top 100 2021

 

 3x

FORMER, 1x AND LONGEST REIGNING (101 Days)