Centurion challenged Vita Valenteen to be the next contender for the Hart championship.
Fuzz won the right to name and help book the upcoming pay-per-view where this match is set to take place.
Fuzz and Noah decided that Cent had to wear a dress during his match with VV.
Centurion’s embracing it, but that doesn't change the fact that he’s going to look like a fool.
Anyway, Vita was also allowed to pick the stipulation to this match.
As a way to stick it to Cent, she chose an arm wrestling match.
She expected Cent to get all pissy, but he didn't. To her surprise, the stipulation actually boosted his confidence that he could win.
Why?
Seems like Centurion doesn't think a woman can beat him in an arm wrestling match, or at the very least, VV can’t.
He must not have been paying attention to Vita's workout routine and protein shake (steroid) intake over the past several months.
![[Image: TSiBTwK.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/TSiBTwK.jpg)
HIS MISTAKE!!
We pick up exactly where we left off before. Vita just jacked the jaw of Amjetkun Socio for tossing her out of a helicopter and forcing her to swim to some stupid island!!
“What the fuck bro!!” He said while rubbing his jaw.”
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET!!”
Vita looked around the sandy shores and couldn’t help but wonder.
”What are we doing here anyway?”
“This is the big test bro!” He said as he pulled himself up from the sand. “Today we find out just how strong you’ve gotten under my titaledge!”
”Tutelage…”
“Huh?”
”Nevermind, so what’s the test, and please don’t tell me that I have to watch more of that Centurion makeover crap!”
“No way bro, today we’re going to find out just how strong you are!”
| We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Promo… |
O-M-G!!
"Everyone is giving me crap for saying that Fuzz defeated Chris Page at LL!!"
"Sorry that I have trouble keeping all of these "legendary" goobers names straight, but can you really blame me? What's the difference between a Chris Page, a Tristan Slater, a Big Shank, and a Famine The Vile?!! They're all just a bunch of old blowhards that came in here with the same story of how great they once were, but not one of them managed to prove it!!"
"Listen fellas, I'm not saying that any of you outright suck, that'd be a lie and VV never lies, but what I AM saying that each of these guys tend to go on and on about how they’re legends, but what do any of them really do to stand out? They’ve all just kinda been here blending into the pack pretty effortlessly. We definitely haven't seen anything from any of these guys that seems legendary have we? Yeah, so forgive me if I got a name or two mixed up."
"I was so sure that Centurion was going to call me out on the mistake, but no, turns out that he was more focused on trying to play surrogate dad and making outlandish claims that hold no water. Want an example?"
| Another Place, Another Time |
The scene quickly cuts to a prerecorded clip. We find VV standing in front of the camera with her phone out and on speaker.
It's already ringing.
"Smokin' Bob here."
"Hi Bob, it's VV!!"
"Oh, well hello Vita, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Well Bob, I was hoping that you could clear a few things up for me if you've gotta sec?"
"Well of course!"
"Sweet!! I just had a couple of questions for ya concerning the Hart title. First, just to make sure that you're the authority on the title, the Hart title is a Warfare exclusive title right?"
"Well, yes and no. Like the TV title on Savage, the Hart title is primarily defended on Warfare, but I wouldn't exactly call it an exclusive."
"Okay, but would you agree that whoever gets an opportunity at the Hart title has you to thank? Like, you're the guy, right? You book the matches, set up the contender matches etcetera?"
"Well of course!"
"Cool, cool… so, let me ask you one last question. IF I were to somehow get screwed and lose this match, can Centurion REALLY block me from ever challenging for the Hart title again?"
"Well, if that was a preset stipulation of the match, then yes, but otherwise, no, all booking decisions come from management, and while we're always willing to hear a champs thoughts on the subject, the final decision of who challenges for a title comes from myself and the other GMs."
"Cool, just wanted to double-check!!
"See!! His threat holds no water and you can't take anything this clown says seriously!! Just like his claim that I gave up when I declared that this match would be contested as an Arm Wrestling Match!! I didn’t give up you goob, I simply took away the possibility of you getting the satisfying end that you oh so wanted!! Make no mistake Centy, I plan on slamming that weak brittle arm down so hard that you lose your hand just like poor EDWARD!!"
"As far as my earlier flub goes, I understand why he'd leave that error alone because he’s just as forgettable as the rest of them! Really, think about it. Prior to Tony Santos basically passing him the Hart title, what did Centurion do? How many people even realized that he was back? The most noteworthy thing he had going for him was getting punked prior to his match at XX!!”
“Yeah, that’s right, you should be thanking me and Noah for making you semi-relevant again!!”
“And listen, I’m not just hating on old dude’s either. I know full well who Fuzz is, and it's not just because he's my future daddy in-law either!! It's because he has managed to make a major impact since his return and prove why he deserves the title of legend!! CCP couldn’t win the Universal title, Tristan and Vile were made to look foolish when they tried to make a run for the tag titles, and Centurion has been coasting by facing inferior talent, a fact that he’s even admitted to! Fuzz on the other hand, he's laid out his goals and achieved them one by one!!"
"And yeah Cent, you’re the Hart champion, and yeah, that's something, but please stop trying to convince us that you didn’t take it from a burnt-out Tony Santos who was so in need of a break that he disappeared shortly after his title loss and hasn’t really been seen since!! Obviously the guy, for as good as he was… He was just done. He needed the break, and we all know that he didn't give Centurion the fight that he would have just a month earlier!! To try to spin that tale into anything else is just…”
"Laughable!!"
"The only REAL name that you have faced since winning that title was Thunder Knuckles, but one has to wonder if you secretly made a backdoor deal to get that win because I'm just not convinced that a Centurion can hold his own against a Thunder Knuckles any day of the week!"
| The Final Boss (Continued) |
We catch up to Vita and Amjetkun sometime later as they are approaching a tiki bar.
”So when are you going to tell me what this final test is?”
“Right now bro!”
Amjetkun motions towards the tiki bar where we see a rather large man with rather large hands sitting at a table all by his lonesome.
![[Image: nqvozrc.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/nqvozrc.jpg)
”HIM!!?”
Vita watches at this freak of nature effortlessly slams the other dude’s arm to the table, seemingly breaking the dude’s arm in the process!!
”NO WAY!!”
“Come on Bro, you’ve got this!”
”His forearms are bigger than my frickin thighs!”
Amjetkun glances down at Vita’s thick muscular thighs.
”No way bro, your thighs are THIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK AS FUCK!”
Vita glares at Amjetkun as the scene is once again interrupted by some post editing!!
| Yo, Time Out Again, I’ve got more to say!! |
"Also what’s the deal with that crap you said about me hanging with the wrong crowd? You see potential in me huh? I just need to get away from Noah? Come on man, did you really think repeating Ruby's critique of me was going to get you anywhere? Listen, Ruby’s a super cool supergirl, how could I not at least consider her advice? But for you to repeat her words damn near per vatem not only makes me question the insightfulness of her advice, but it makes you look like an unoriginal clown who can’t come up with his own shtick!!"
"And what's the deal here anyway huh? Why do you want to play daddy all of a sudden and try to lead me down a path of righteousness that you can’t even seem to follow yourself? As far as I can tell, you already have two actual kids that needed your attention, and one of them you choose to ignore to this day. Why not nut up and take responsibility for your actual kids instead of trying to play dad with me!!?"
"Listen dude, I know it's hard for you to keep up with those rickety knees, but I'm going to need you to at least try here!! That Roman kid looks EXACTLY LIKE YOU and he even has a sad story about how YOU walked out on him as a kid. Funny how you've just ignored him from the start, well, other than a passing comment where you said he wasn't yours. Like it's impossible for you to have some kid you didn't know about running around, especially during your college years, or was it that you were still a sweet and innocent virgin at the ripe old age of twenty?"
"Whatever, it doesn't REALLY matter, it's just another example of you being a big ole P.O.S. yet having to audacity to try and criticize me for MY actions and MY friends. At least we aren't out here maiming people, making threats to "beat the holy hell" out of a girl just because they hurt our pride like a half a year ago, and to top it off, abandoning our kids all willy nilly. When Noah showed up on Fuzz’s doorstep, Fuzz nutted up and took responsibility, and yeah, maybe Murry said that they aren’t related, but Fuzz is such a stand up guy that he still plays the fatherly role to Noah, and ya know, it means the world to him. So tell me again how you’re somehow better than him in the ring or out of it!!"
| The Final Boss (Continued) |
The scene switches back to the tiki bar just as Vita slams the arm of that rather oddly large man to the table.
“FUUUCK!!! I THINK SHE BROKE MY ARM!!!”
Amjetkun jumps for joy as Vita sits, astonished at her own strength!
“Oh shit bro!”
”Oh crap bro!!”
VV jumps out of her seat and into the arms of Amjetkun as they hop around celebrating together like a couple of school girls!!
“I told you that you could do it!”
”I should have trusted you dude! Holy crap am I strong!!”
“I’m glad you said that bro, because I had one more test for you! If you pass this, then there’s no way that Centurion is going to beat you with his little girly arm!”
Suddenly Vita doesn’t look nearly as excited as she did before.
”Another test? No, we don’t need to, can’t we just go home and lift!!?”
“That’s later, but first I need you to face the FINAL BOSS bro!”
”Final boss? I thought he was the final boss!!?”
Vita points to that popeye of a man who’s still sobbing over his broken arm behind them.
“No way bro, he was just the pre boss. The real test is yet to come bro!”
”I know, I KNOW!!”
“Vita, stop interrupting and let us watch the promo, right? Well I promise, I have good reason to do it this time!!”
Vita steps to the side as EDWARD walks into frame.
”Hey, you wanted me to deliver a message, and I did, but now EDWARD asked to deliver one in return, and who am I to say no to the handicap?”
“EDWARD WAS STRONGEST WARRIOR… BUT THEN CENTURION SMASH EDWARD HAND AND DOCTOR SAY HE HAVE TO CUT IT OFF. NOW EDWARD TOLD HE NOT ALLOWED TO WRESTLE ANYMORE. CENTURION THINK THAT EDWARD WANT APOLOGY? DOES APOLOGY MAKE EDWARD HAND GROW BACK? NO! EDWARD NOW HALF A MAN FOR LIFE, AND APOLOGY NOT DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE THAT!”
”Not that it matters, cause “Mr. Good Samaritan” has made it clear that you’ll never get one anyway!!”
“EDWARD NOT CARE! EDWARD NOT WANT APOLOGY, EDWARD WANT CENTURION’S ARM!”
Vita gasp in fake shock!
”His arm!!? Oh my!!”
“CENTURION TAKE HAND FOR THUMB, SO EDWARD TAKE ARM FOR HAND!”
”That seems more than fair to me, but promise me one thing EDWARD.
Edward silently looks to Vita.
”Promise me that you won’t take his arm until AFTER I slam it through the frickin table and take that Hart title from around his waist!!”
EDWARD thinks about it for a moment before responding.
“EDWARD THINK THAT A FAIR REQUEST. EDWARD WILL NOT TOUCH CENTURION UNTIL AFTER BEEFY GIRL TAKE HIS SHINNY!”
”You know, I’ve always wanted to ask, why do you say it that way?”
“SAY WHAT WAY?”
”Why do you say shinny instead of shiny?”
“...”
”OKAY… Anyway Cent, do you hear that? Not only do we have a proverbial congo line of people just itching to slap you silly before this match, but EDWARD is back with a thirst for revenge!! Painfully bloody arm ripping revenge!! I could try to talk some sense into him. I could tell him how ripping off your arm isn’t something he should do, but considering how big of a heartless douche you are, I figure you probably deserve everything you get at Cunt-Fest!!
| The Final Boss (Conclusion) |
The scene switches back to a small landing strip on the island. Amjetkun is securing a thick rope around Vita’s wrist while explaining what her final test is.
“Alright bro, this one’s simple. All you have to do is slam your arm down against the weight of this rope to win!”
”What’s on the other end of this rope?”
Suddenly the sound of a propeller can be heard firing up.
”Oh hell no!! Get this off of me!!”
The plane starts down the runway as it prepares to take off.
“No way bro, you’ve gotta pass this test to prove that your the best bro! That way, if Centurion uses his money and influence to edit footage like Lacklan did, you can call bullshit bro and nobody can say you’re lying, because you out arm wrestled a fucking airplane bro!”
The plane takes off into the sky, but Vita seems far more concerned with the slack in the rope that continues to become tighter and tighter!
”I’m not joking BRO, GET THIS OFF OF ME RIGHT NOW!!”
Suddenly VV is snapped into the air by the plane!
”AHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!!!
Amjetkun waves as Vita is pulled upwards into the air!
![[Image: ewO7ogU.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/ewO7ogU.jpg)
“OH SHIT BRO!”
”You want to know what the biggest difference between us is Cent? I know who I am. Can you say the same? You want to call me a punk? Yeah that fits. Troll? Sure, I can see where you can come to that conclusion. But tell me, what in the hell are you? At least when I play superhero everyone knows it’s a game. Just Vita doing some Vita shit. You on the other hand? You don’t even know how to be the good guy, so how about you spend less time preaching to me, and more time looking in the frickin mirror!!”
“I’m taking that belt, and I’ll be laughing all the way to my first defense the following Warfare!”
“Why?”
“Because I’m the bad guy… DUH!”
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